Young Motherhood, Early Intervention, and Empathy in Parenting: Maria’s Story

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

Episode 2: Young Motherhood, Early Intervention, and Empathy in Parenting: Maria’s Story

In this episode of the BoldLittleMinds MomCast, I had the pleasure of interviewing Maria, a remarkable stay-at-home mom and former teacher, who juggles her life around her four children aged 10, 7, 5, and 2 ½. Our conversation spanned her experiences as a young mother, the challenges and joys of raising a large family, and her passionate advocacy for early intervention in children's development.

A Journey into Motherhood

Maria's path to motherhood was unique and inspiring. She became a mom in her early twenties, a time when none of her peers were even considering marriage or children. With the support of her family, she navigated the uncharted waters of parenthood while trying to grow up alongside her children. Maria shares heartfelt reflections on the song "Growin Up Raising You," which deeply resonates with her journey of raising her children while discovering herself.

Balancing Act: Life as a Young Mom

Managing a family of four while maintaining personal growth and ambition is no easy feat. When Maria talks about her physical challenges as she entered her thirties, it’s relatable and reassuring for moms of all ages. Her candid acknowledgment of the physical demands of pregnancy and parenthood provides a comforting validation for those feeling overwhelmed in similar situations.

Career Transitions and Family Decisions

Maria’s career path, influenced by her growing family, showcases her adaptability and determination. From a teaching career to opening an in-home daycare, and eventually transitioning into a marketing and operations manager role, Maria exemplifies how motherhood can shape career choices and lead to unexpected fulfilling roles. She credits early life lessons and family support for her success in balancing work with personal life.

Advocacy for Early Intervention

Perhaps one of the most powerful parts of our conversation was Maria’s advocacy for early intervention. With a personal and professional understanding, she stresses its significance in her children's lives. Diagnosed with ADHD herself, Maria uses her experiences to navigate her children's developmental challenges. Her insights into accessing early intervention programs are invaluable for parents seeking support for their children.

Slime and Sanity: A Creative Getaway

Maria’s go-to activity to get some quiet time at home involves slime and Play Doh. Though a seemingly unconventional choice, her method of creating space and focus within the chaos is a testament to the little hacks that keep her family happily engaged and her sanity intact.

Empathy in Parenting

Maria’s advice on maintaining empathy through the tumultuous journey of parenthood is transformative. By stepping into her children’s shoes, she teaches them—and us— the importance of patience, understanding, and unconditional support, reshaping what discipline looks like in her household.

Final Thoughts

This captivating conversation with Maria offers encouragement and practical wisdom for parents navigating the myriad challenges of raising children. Her story is a testament to the strength, adaptability, and resilience that comes with motherhood.

Join the Community

To all who resonated with Maria's story, follow her journey on Instagram @prideandjoylife where she continues to inspire and connect with moms worldwide. If you wish to share your story or learn more, reach out to me at BoldLittleMinds@gmail.com and follow me across social media platforms. Thank you for joining us on the Bold Little Minds Momcast. Until next time, remember we’re all in this together, one step at a time.

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For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript:

Krissy: Welcome to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy. I am a stay at home mom to two young boys, and today I am thrilled to be talking to Maria, who is a stay at home mom, former teacher. Right now she has kids who are 10, 7, 5, and 2 1/2. Four kids. Wow. Four kids. Amazing. Thank you so much for being here with me today.

Thank you for having 

Maria: me. It is the biggest honor to be here. 

Krissy: Oh my gosh, you have no idea. I absolutely love following your Instagram. I love seeing your [00:07:00] journey with your sourdough and your pumpkin arch you've going on and everything, right? It's, it's amazing. You are like a goals stay at home mom, but you seem to juggle the chaos for sure.

Maria: You're so sweet. We're doing our best every day. Every day is different. You tune in and you're like, what is going on today? 

Krissy: Absolutely. Well, I would love to hear your journey that you took to becoming a mom. 

Maria: Yeah. Okay. So my journey was actually much different than a lot of people in my personal life.

So I became a mom younger than most. My husband and I had been dating for three years and then we were blessed with our oldest and it was just this blessing that was thrown our way. And through that, we were in our young twenties and no one, I mean, literally no one around us. Was even in the realm of being married, having a baby, anything.

And so we were kind of just thrown into parenthood [00:08:00] and we were like, what do we do? We had wonderful families that supported us, but it was. In a time where I had to figure out how to grow up while Raising someone. I don't know if you've heard that song by gabby. I don't remember her. Last name, but it's Growin Up Raising You is one of the songs that like I cry every time I hear it And I'll have 

Krissy: to link it for sure.

Oh my 

Maria: gosh It's a powerful song and every time I hear it, it really makes me think of my Oldest because I was a young mom and I was learning how to live life I was growing up while raising him. But then we also knew that we wanted to have more kids, four kids if possible And so we kept on going so it was my 10 year old now my seven year old my five year old and my two and a half year old and It's been the best thing ever.

It's been such a joy to be able to grow this [00:09:00] big family and have them come along for the ride. We're all growing up together. I'm figuring out motherhood alongside of all of them now, and they're allowing me the space and we just kind of have a good time together and figure it out. 

Krissy: That's amazing.

I love it. Like we've got this one. Let's just keep the party going. Yeah. 

Maria: Yeah. It was one of those, you know, how every parent kind of like when you're talking about age gaps and everything, like that's such a big thing. I think like when you're figuring out how many kids you're going to have and like, if you're going to have multiple kids, you're like, okay, well, what age gap would I like?

Am I ready for another kid? That was a big conversation. Cause we were like, Oh my gosh, we're so young, but we know that we want our oldest to not have a big age gap between our other kids, which we know we want eventually. So we were like,

we were like,

We just went all in and we were like, let's just go for this family that we've wanted.

And here we are today now in our thirties and it's been a ride, but such a fun ride. 

Krissy: I love it. Now I know when I had my [00:10:00] first, I was a little bit of an older mom. I was like 36 when my first was born. So I kept saying this would be a lot easier 10 years ago, easier to get up and off the ground.

Maria: You are onto something because when I was pregnant with my last I was entering my 30s And I was like this is much harder on my body just pregnancy wise I was like, oh my gosh when I was in my early 20s having my first even my second The energy level was different. I, and don't get me wrong. I had, I was sick.

Like I had, I was sick during my pregnancies, but I fared easier. So I, you are, I, your intuition on that was right because definitely after I had my third and my fourth, I was like, Oh, I'm seeing a difference in my energy level. I'm noticing a difference in like how I'm in, in motherhood. 

Krissy: Right. 

Maria: And just like getting 

Krissy: up off the ground after tummy time, like your knees, it's all different.

It's all. 

Maria: Crackling. All of my joints are crackling as [00:11:00] I'm moving. 

Krissy: Uhuh. Uhuh. So you've had a physical advantage perhaps, but I hear you on that support system. I mean, I leaned on my friends who had had previous babies to, to assure me that. Some of these things were going to end. Like, I would sleep again.

Things like that. It was scary. So, did you have family members that you could lean on in those scary moments? You 

Maria: know what? My friends who have been my best friends since high school, they're like the first ones to tell me, like, they're always like, oh my gosh, cause now they're mothers. They, we always talk about how I really just kind of figured it out on my own.

And now I am the person that I feel so honored. They all text me because they're like, well, first off, not only did you go through this and have to figure things out by yourself way back when. But you also have four kids like you have four case studies that you've done So like they're like, can I ask you this question?

I'm like, yes, please. I would love to be asked But no back then I [00:12:00] truly I asked my mom but she was and she was so sweet. She was such a guiding force, but she would also be like, you know, that was 20, you know, like she was like I was a young mom way back when this is what we did. So I just dove into parenting books and I

I

mean, everything, it was 10 years ago.

So it, like, Pinterest was like, kind of, you know, like, but I really just got book and Googled, but it was, it was definitely hard. And then we moved into the neighborhood that we have now. And this amazing group of neighbors that I just adore, they took me under their wings, they were, I think they were in their higher thirties or just about to turn 40 and they just knew what to do.

And they just, Didn't even make me feel less because I didn't know anything. They were just like, let me help you. Let me do this. Like, let me pick them up from preschool this day. Let me do like, it was just, I still say to [00:13:00] them, they're the people who taught me. How to be a friend to another mom. Just like, what to do at a very baseline level of like, the support that you just give.

You don't even ask. Like, you're just like, hey, I'll do this for you. It just, it's so cool. Moms are unreal. 

Krissy: That's beautiful. I, my husband and I said it much less eloquently when we had our baby and we were sitting there thinking we are horrible friends. We need to go back in time and call our friends who had kids before us and say, I am so sorry.

You know what though, that's 

Maria: the beauty though, because I, all of my high school friends are the first ones. Cause they just had their first within the past, like two to three years. They have all said this to me and I will say it feels as like the other mom. Oh my gosh it it's almost like a really cool full circle for someone to say that to you as the one who is the first mom because It's such a core reflection for [00:14:00] everyone of like, wow, that's so validating to me, even though back then I wasn't fully in the headspace to know what I needed, what kind of support, because you're just like in the thick of it.

You're like, I don't even know. But to have friends who way later are like, wow, I'm going through this and now I'm really recognizing like something that you went through. I feel like that is such a powerful reflection thing for other people to even just say to a mom who might have been in motherhood for so much longer.

I, sometimes I think people say, Oh my gosh, so much time has passed. Like, I don't know if I should even say that. I find it to be one of the most powerful, Every time that someone, even my cousin who just had a baby a year ago said it to me, it warms my heart in a way that I can't even describe. It's such an empathetic thing to say to someone.

encourage anyone who has that thought and has a friend who maybe entered motherhood or parenthood before you, if you have that reflection point, say [00:15:00] something, because that's going to mean the world to them. 

Krissy: That's great advice.

I love that you shared that because I will definitely be reaching out now to people who I had that thought about but was too exhausted at the moment to follow through.

through with.

So now I will be following through and I think you're onto something with that, that advice from, from people who had children a while ago, because I think there's this black hole I'm finding

they forget what it was really like to have children. I think before four or five, because the advice you get for it, like let's say a road trip is like, Oh, just toss them a coloring book. Right. My two month old is not doing a coloring book. 

Maria: It's so true. You're like. Okay, but what else? Like, what else do you have in that toolbox that I could maybe use for my team, I thought.

Krissy: Right, you remember them when they start to talk to you and become cute. But now that we have videos, maybe that will change because we'll go back and we'll remember all those milestones that we hit. But, but before that, oh my gosh, you're, you're in survival mode. It just kind of disappears. [00:16:00] 

Maria: And survival mode is

so wild. I'm now feeling like I'm coming out of survival mode with my youngest being two and a half and I was just having this conversation with my husband. You don't even realize sometimes when you're in survival mode and it doesn't mean that you can't be having fun or you're not enjoying yourself in survival mode because you know how precious these times are, but you're on autopilot completely just to get through the day because it is so stimulating.

There's so many stimulating things throughout the day with little kids. And just to make it through in one piece, even though you love all the different parts of the day, you really have to go on autopilot. And I feel like that is lifting for me, which is why I got back into exercising, why I got back into, like, all these different pieces that made me happy.

The pumpkin patch. Like, all of these different things I was not doing when Well, I was. I was attempting to do them. I failed them miserably, which was fine. I just, it would be like I couldn't go out and water the garden and the plants to die because I was [00:17:00] pregnant. And I was like, well, I tried. But, you know, coming out, there is, one of the most exciting things that I get to tell my friends now is that, wow, when you're youngest, when you're done having kids, when your youngest gets to 2 and a half, you start to realize, oh my goodness, I, I can become my, I can find myself, not that you lose yourself, but you can really have more independence within yourself to do things that you maybe couldn't do while you were in that 12 months and lower with your newborn or your infant and, Maybe going to get pregnant with another one, you know, just all of those stages that are really physically driven,

Krissy: I agree that I do think that you do lose yourself because you aren't who you were anymore Yeah, right. You're a totally different person and you don't have that space necessarily to figure out who you are now, right? So that's that's such a tricky part of early motherhood and it's you're about a year ahead of me with your youngest and it's so Inspiring to hear you say that [00:18:00] you're Feeling like you're starting to crawl out of it because yeah, it's really wired.

Yeah. It's nice to have a light at the end. 

Maria: Yeah, it is. And it's funny cause I heard other people say it before and you kind of just don't believe it until you're the one in it. You're like, I don't know my, like my 18 month old, like if someone has a two and a half year old, you're like my 18 month old, I just can't foresee them ever getting that point where I could have 30 minutes where like they're sitting down and doing something or they're, you know, like it just does not seem possible.

And then you're like, What they were saying, okay, I can get a 30 minute block to do something other than Cleaning or picking up after our activities like something that I can fit in for myself 

Krissy: Right or even the cleaning and picking up activities 

Maria: even the cleaning and picking up so true Pop in your favorite podcast listen to this one start cleaning Oh my gosh, this is what gets me through cleaning because I just feel like I'm like I put in one of my ear I even have it right here one of my ear pods I have one ear to the kids who are playing and I just clean and I feel like i'm like visiting with [00:19:00] friends who i'm Listening to the podcast dub And it's the best.

So listen to this one. There's a plug. 

Krissy: Love it. Love it. Yes. Definitely do that while you're doing all of the other things. Yes. So speaking of doing all the other things on your journey to becoming a mom, not only were you a young mom, you didn't have all of the technology, the Instagram resources that we have now or the friends with the experience, but you are also working full time and getting a master's degree.

Maria: Yeah, it was I I don't know how honestly it probably was just because I was young there's no way there's no I I know I didn't have energy back then so I was working full time as a teacher I was a second grade teacher and then I Was getting my master's degree in reading specialty.

My oldest turned three months old when I entered the program and I could have done a four year regular master's degree program, or I could do a two year, very intensive master's degree [00:20:00] program. Let me guess. I was going to say, which one do you think I chose? I'm going to guess. Four years, I'm not doing four years.

So I for 24 straight months. Did a master's degree and at the end of that master's degree is when we got pregnant with my second And so I remember it was like the early stage. I was like, I was so sick and I had to fake it I I think that was a blur. I was in survival mode. I was like i'm gonna get this master's degree done I was my friends always joke that one of my i'm like i'm determined i'm gonna do it i'm determined Whether I like to be determined or not i'm gonna do it And I could say I did it.

I don't know if I would do it again that way, but I did. 

Krissy: That's like the fifth baby. Yeah, you just rolled right into it. 

Maria: Yes, but it, it was an experience and it'll be a cool story to tell my kids later on, but I don't think I would do, I wouldn't enter to get another master's degree. Sure, not, [00:21:00] not 

Krissy: recommended.

Not a recommended path. Yeah. I'm done. You must have been really early in your career then. Yeah. Yes, 

Maria: yeah, so I had been teaching for, I could have not done it for like four years, but I did it three years into teaching. So my third and fourth year is when I did the fast track. And , I was still figuring out how to be a teacher.

Thankfully it was my second year in second grade. So it was kind of like, I kind of knew what to do that, that made it a little bit easier for me. But yeah. Yeah. Wild times, 

Krissy: so you were a second grade teacher, but then you were so many other things. You've been a Jack of all trades. Tell me about your path and how that changed and how being a mom might've influenced those choices.

Maria: Oh, yeah,

So being a mom is what absolutely influenced it all. So I started my teaching career in first grade.

First grade, that was like my sweet spot. I loved first grade. Then I got surplused from, I was the [00:22:00] last higher of that school. So their numbers didn't match. So I was surplused from that school to a different school. The only opening that they had was second grade. Loved second grade. date there and then they needed a kindergarten teacher.

So they were like, all right, go down to kindergarten, did that. But it was while I was pregnant with my second and then first grade position opened, I had a newborn at home. I knew it was going to be my last year teaching because I knew that I was going to be opening a home daycare. We had two in daycare and I know everyone, especially now, I mean, this was seven years ago.

It felt so financially overwhelming back then. I truly can't imagine how it feels now with how everything is in. In the world. We just on a teacher salary being so young to really young parents. My husband was only a couple years into his career. It just, it didn't make financial sense for us to be paying for 2 kids in daycare, knowing that we wanted a 3rd [00:23:00] also, and then we would.

Maybe have 3 in daycare, which we ended up having, so we were like, okay, what can we do? So we thought about all these different things. We adored my son's first daycare provider. And I just talked to her and I said, Hey, what is it like being a daycare provider? She was like, Oh my gosh, you would love it.

Ask me anything. I asked her, she's like, honestly, being a early elementary school teacher, it's not a huge jump for you to go from that to an in home daycare. So we ended up putting our home on the market, finding a house that we could change the basement into a daycare. And my husband and my father in law did all the work.

They were construction people, like they, they transformed it into a daycare. So for two years, almost two years, I had a home daycare with kids that were four years old and below. Eight kids and it was yeah, it was fun I mean going it was an easy transition because I went [00:24:00] from like 24 kids in the classroom I think if I went from not being a teacher or a daycare provider to eight kids Like toddlers and babies two babies six toddlers that would feel like a lot But it ended up feeling not as much because of that transition And I also got pregnant with our third while being a daycare provider. I was a daycare provider to a lot of teachers, so I would have the summer off, which helped a ton. So anyone out there who's trying to be a daycare provider, highly recommend being a daycare provider to teachers, because I just posted it as the teacher calendar.

I just said, I will have off on spring break, winter break, and then the summer. And they were all like, sounds good. And then they didn't pay me during those times. And. It worked out for everyone. So I got to be home with my kids during the summer anyways. But so then COVID hit and initially, I don't know if you remember it, they shut down all of the daycares for that, everything.

So we were going through that, like, what do we [00:25:00] do? And then my this is a subplot of it, but my daughter, Has a developmental delay. And we already knew like she was very therapy intensive at that point. So we were in 3 times a week. Speech therapy, and then once a week special education therapy. So, it was kind of, after a month, they didn't reopen daycares.

If you reopened after a month, it was only if you were going to be for like, healthcare providers. It was a special credential. So, my husband and I just had a big talk. We decided that because my daughter just had a lot of needs anyways that I was going to fill in, I would just, you know, Not go back on.

So I was on unemployment. So it was during that time where we were like, financially we cannot swing me not working, but we kind of have to cause everything's shut down. What do we do? So I went on unemployment until we figured out what to do and did virtual schooling with my kids and the virtual therapies.

And then [00:26:00] a local realtor who was our realtor Happened to be looking for a an assistant. Like she just was like, business is booming. It was like during that time where everyone was moving because of COVID. Everyone was like, I want the house that I want. If I'm going to be stuck at home, business was booming.

She was like, I need help. And then my husband saw her and was like, I think Maria would like being a virtual assistant, like a marketing and operations director. She took a chance on me. And I'm so thankful to her. So I worked for her for two years being pretty much, so it's called a marketing and operations manager, but it was a lot of like virtual assistant stuff.

I did her social media. I did her phone calls, like anything that was the operations part of being a realtor. I was that, and I learned that I was not pigeonholed in being in education or something to do with kids. That's, I always say to her, like I attest to that. Her taking the leap of faith on me to be a [00:27:00] part of her team is what showed me that I don't have to just do something in education to help provide for my family.

And that was the coolest thing. So I always say, like, if I'm, if I go back into the workforce right now. Well, I can't because we still have all the kids at home. But if I did, if I did that, I love that role. And I was still doing virtual assistant things up until January. And then I like got busy. I, the kids needed me.

 I mean, you know, it's just, it's almost 

Krissy: like all the things, all 

Maria: the things. And I just really love to do well at my jobs if I am working. And I just kind of sat back and was like, I truly don't have the time in my day to do a job for someone else right now. And if they're paying me, I want to do the best job I can do for them.

So it just was one of those where I was like, you know what, This is the time my husband's like, let's just really focus on the kids. And I [00:28:00] want, I've always wanted to just be a stay at home mom anyways. So that is what we're doing. We're definitely nickel and diming everything, but it's, that's just what we have to do at this moment.

I

wish we had more money in the bank, but I wouldn't wish anything different. I love being able to be at home with them and give them my time and it's a hard job. It's a hard job being a stay at home mom, but it is so fulfilling. I, it's the best. 

Krissy: It takes a lot of planning, a lot of sacrifice for sure.

But yeah, it's, it's especially when you have all these exterior factors that are coming into play. Yeah, 

One thing I wanted to talk about is you are a huge advocate for early intervention supports.

And I think that's really important that we talk about that here a little bit. So can you talk about your experience that you've had? 

Maria: I would love nothing more. This is one of my favorite topics. , I am neurodivergent. I have ADHD. I was diagnosed in high school.

My dad is a neuropsychologist, so I like, yeah, he, he like knows all the ins and outs of your [00:29:00] brain. I grew up in a family that was just very pro intervention, whether it be literal, regular mental health therapy, or it be early intervention for kids and just, you know.

anything.

My dad is a pediatric neuropsychologist, so early intervention for kids is,, his, secret sauce.

So I always grew up with just that open mind of, like, intervention is so life changing for people. I just have never thought of it in a negative way, because I was, like, I was very lucky to live in a household that was so open about it, them accepting me as I am, and just helping me to flourish within my own ADHD was so helpful to me to understand how to help my own kids.

So, with that, my oldest has ADHD, my 7 year old, she is still under the umbrella of developmental delay, but once you turn 8, You go into a formal diagnosis. So we are actually going to get a full neuropsych eval this year to figure out what The delays [00:30:00] are I have my suspicions of it's a language Something going on just understanding of language, but we'll see and then my third also has a developmental delay.

He is five. He has been in early interventions for three years and they just told me this year in his kindergarten Planning that his only part on his IEP right now for school, which is the individualized plan for therapies like occupational therapy, speech therapy, all of that, that his only goal right now is articulation.

So he is almost out of his developmental delay. Like, they do not believe that he will be considered a developmental delay, like, in that diagnosis anymore. for your time. Or this year, which is super cool, and I attest to early intervention. And then, my youngest this past week, I've noticed that she's had some speech delays going on, and with my other two, I, that I noticed early on, I just thought to myself, okay, [00:31:00] I need to get her evaluated.

So if you're wondering how to get your kid evaluated, this is my most favorite subject. Every single county in America legally has to have something. I don't know if it's called child find, but most places are called something Like early intervention, you go onto your public school systems website and you can type in early intervention or you can even email anyone and say, hi, I'm looking for the early intervention for kids zero to four or zero to five.

And they will point you in the right direction. They legally have to provide a set of evaluations. So you bring your child into them and they will do a Standardized like testing. So we did the daisy too. If you're in, if anyone's in the world and it does cognitive evaluation social, emotional evaluation speech evaluation, occupational, like gross motor, fine motor 

they tell [00:32:00] you if your child has any delay in any of these. categories. If they do have a delay, then by law, they have to provide you with the services to help with that delay. So for example, my kiddos needed speech therapy, and they also needed occupational therapy. So these therapists come to our house once a week, and we get one hour of specialized

therapy

And it's free because if you go into the world of speech therapy, it's a lot of money.

And it's so worth it. But if you can't find someone who takes insurance, it's really hard to maintain that sort of therapy because it's just so financially out of a lot of people's hands. Like you're just like, I can't do this, but I want to give my kid everything that they deserve.

Like, what do I do? This is the early intervention. Is the absolute place to start it's amazing here's my other thing is sometimes people feel like it's so intimidating to Get the [00:33:00] evaluation But they want you to they want you to get the evaluation. It's free to you and also

the best thing they can say to you is, we're not finding anything. You know, you can do this at home, but they look to be on track. Their developmental milestones seem to be average. And, you know, you can keep monitoring and come back to us if you have concerns. But, to me, there's no downside of it.

 One of the hard things is when you get those diagnoses, like when my daughter, when I was told that at 20 months old, she was presenting at a nine month old developmental milestone. Oh my gosh. Your entire world. becomes fearful. You think, what is their future going to look like?

I have no real answers on what's causing this, but I have answers on, this is, they are this behind. What do I do? Oh my gosh, I cannot tell you how many times I just cried myself to sleep out of fear, because it [00:34:00] wasn't that I wasn't going to love her the same. It wasn't that It was just, what do I do to help my child have the best chance they can have in this world?

And how in the world, at this time, I'm working full time, so I'm like, how in the world am I going to provide this for my child with the non flexible schedule that I have? And I am here now, five years later from her diagnosis. And early intervention was the absolute best thing we could have done because she presents as neurotypical.

I know better because I know her, like, how she thinks and everything. But every single person who either meets us newly or knows her journey says to me, Oh my gosh, I cannot believe this is the same kid. I can't believe, or like, someone will say to me, Oh I don't even, are you, are you sure she has like something?

And I'm like, yeah, but she's doing, she's so many tools that she [00:35:00] learned from early intervention for her toolbox that she takes with her. It's just a part of her now that she uses these coping mechanisms, these intellectual mechanisms, like All of these different things to help her navigate through life where she can do it, she can do it.

And I truly believe if we didn't do early intervention, she would not have had the same life trajectory. It wouldn't have, she wouldn't be where she is. And so when my third. When I was seeing that he was starting to be delayed. I remember going through that overwhelm and I cried and I got it out. And I felt it to the full being like, am I going to have two kids who might have these, like, it's just the unknown.

I just was like, am I going to have two kids who really have these disabilities? And I just really felt it to the fullest. And then I was like, got to get in go mode. Like, all right, let's do this. And now he's where he is. And then with my daughter, like with my youngest. It was just like I have [00:36:00] seen the magic that these early interventions have done to the point where I was almost like, hallelujah, my youngest gets interventions.

She's going to be flourishing. Like I'm so excited for her. Yeah. I love early intervention. 

Krissy: And I love this success story. I think one of the hardest parts of parenting is feeling helpless and not knowing if you're doing the right thing and you'll never know. We're never going to know what we screwed up and what we did right.

It's so important. It's, it's just up there. But if you're having the question of , should I reach out and get some help or get another opinion, an expert opinion, just do it. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain. The question's there, then you already have the instinct that this is something.

Yeah. 

Maria: And the other worry that some people like think is, well, does this give my kid a paper trail that puts them at a disadvantage in the future? No. It's literally. You just go in to get this information and the information is not used against them in any sort of way. If anything, it just provides them or their future [00:37:00] teachers with any sort of understanding.

And usually, if you're just in it from 0 to 3, which is the infants and toddlers program. It doesn't even travel with them to elementary school because it's like if it's resolved because a lot of kids end up just getting those therapies and then test out at three that it doesn't have to be like our trajectory where they end up going up into, you know, they're still have their IEPs and working through things.

So, it's just, it's a really great resource. 

Krissy: That's amazing. I'm so happy you've had so much success about it and how you use your platform to talk about it so much. One thing I want to hear from you, you've got four kids. They're all 10 and under. You've got some time now on your hands. You have a lot of experience.

I want to hear your go to activity to get yourself a little bit of time when you need it. And I think yours is a little controversial. Do 

Maria: you know the answer to it? It's in my stories all the time right now. It hasn't been proven on the go. Slime. Slime and Play Doh. So when I had just my [00:38:00] oldest two, I did create a lot of different things for them to do.

But as you have more kids, sometimes you just don't have enough hands for everyone's needs. So I was like, how do I make this as simple as possible? So we literally have an entire. Ikea bookshelf that is just for Play Doh and slime. We have mats that the kids are trained on where they go and they'll get this rubber mat that rolls out And then we just pull out a bucket of slime and they will do slime for literally 45 minutes I just have them we we also Put on songs and they get to like they dj so that helps a lot I'm, like what song do you want now and then they'll pick and then They play with slime we also do different textured slime.

So we get fancy, we get very fancy with it. There is the like the, what do they call it? It's like the foamy slime, slimy slime. Then you can add the crackle slime, [00:39:00] all different kinds. And then Play Doh, because we have the Play Doh like ice cream set and stuff like that. I just, in our house and in the stages of life that we are, Play Simple is where it's at for us, and all of my kids, 10 and under, gravitate towards slime and Play Doh.

Even my 10 year old. He's like, okay, I guess it's time for slime now. I'm like, yep, it's time for slime. Just so easy. I love it. And everyone, people get scared of slime. You just have to do it right. You have to be successful with it. You have to know, you have to be over top of some sort of hard flooring.

Don't do it on carpet. Okay, step 

Krissy: one, hard floor. 

Maria: Step one, hard flooring. Table like you need to have a table that you're doing it at and then you need to have the mat If you have the mat like the rubber mat, you're golden because the rule is Slime on mat. Slime on mat. If it goes anywhere else, the slime goes away.

So they are, my kids are trained on, if the slime comes off the table, off the mat, [00:40:00] it goes away. Slime time is done 

Krissy: okay, mean mommy comes out. 

Maria: Yes. Oh my gosh. I am like a drill sergeant. I'm like, you got, nope, we follow these rules.

Krissy: Yeah,

How old do you think the beginning of this is? Because I'm telling my 19 month old eats everything.

And I just can't like, I try Play Doh every now and then. And it's an, it's an immediate note. Every single day, 

Maria: 24 months, give it because what we do, what my youngest did from 18 months on. We did the homemade play doh because she was an eater. She's like everything in her mouth And so we I just made big batches of play doh and if she eats it, I mean I I encourage her not to right But if she eats it, it's literally just salt flour Cream of tartar and water, you know, so i'm like, okay our worst things And then so that I would say that play doh like play doh is just the go to.

They don't really like the taste You Always. So yeah, but I would say Play Doh with lots of those toys, just all [00:41:00] of those toys. That, and then the other kids can be doing the slime. They, it, it works out. 

Krissy: It works out. Okay. And now have you found like a trial and error of different varieties, brands? Like I know I only use like Crayola paints because everything else stains everything.

Maria: Well the Play Doh I now only do are homemade. I used to do like all the other ones, but I just, okay. We were spending like the kids would leave it out sometimes and it would get dried up. So I was just like, you know what? I don't care if our homemade play doh gets dried up because it was like 2 to make and they can eat it.

 So , we just stick with homemade play doh right now for slime. I am game for whatever slime, because it all brings different elements. Even if it is the cheapest slime ever made, they are like, this is a new slime to me. So no, I haven't, I'm okay with all slimes, but it's also because of the mat.

If I didn't have the mat, I'd probably be more particular, but right now the [00:42:00] mat allows for everything. 

Krissy: I love it. I love it. Okay. So for all of you out there whose kids aren't going to immediately eat it and your mental health can handle it a little bit, just if you have a small opening of mental health ability to, to try this out, do it.

Maria: I'm telling you, you can drink your coffee. You just have to sit with them. That's the thing. You do have to time. Okay. Sitting there. Like I'm not, that's not when I'm around like doing other things. I definitely like sit there and I'll just drink my coffee and just watch them and 

Krissy: the songs that they DJ.

That's a good tip too. Yeah. Don't go do this in the other room and then you'll come back to slime on the walls,

Maria: No,

literally. 

Krissy: Okay. So now with your four kids, we've already talked about how all your friends are using you as this wealth of information as they should, because you are. I want us to take a situation from the internet and somebody posted this on Reddit.

And I think you have probably had a lot of experience with this that I would love to hear your take on it. The [00:43:00] question is. I feel humiliated even having to post this and I'm sure the comments will be harsh. I just need some sincere advice from a mother, me, not me, but the poster who is struggling.

Although, you know, I'm just so tired of everything being a battle, tired of the whining, tired of tantrums, being told no by my child. And it just gets to the point where I get so mad. I just lose control. I hate yelling and I hate it so much. And I'm feeling like I'm ruining her, their childhood, and they are ruining my motherhood.

Also, just to add, I've been trying the timeout method with my three year old. When I put him in timeout, he goes into major tantrum, like screaming and even spitting on me. How do I stop losing my cool with my kids? 

Maria: Oh my gosh, I love this question. I love this so much. Because this is something every single parent, you cannot tell me that there's one parent out there who does not.

Feel this way. I mean, and, and I feel like I was born [00:44:00] with a lot of patience. However, someone with a lot of patience has that, you know, you hit that, that top part of your patience and it's just like,

oh

my gosh. And you're just like, everything gets to you. I, the best thing. Shit. In my parenthood that I ever did because I truly had to grow up and learn how to be a parent by myself and With my older two, I was more of a disciplinarian where, because it came from my teaching, like, it's just the structure and this is what we do.

And if you don't do this, like, if you don't fall into that structure, then something's wrong per se. And from there, the kids end up. In my experience, my kids ended up, their emotions went off the charts because they're not developmentally old enough to understand why they're not [00:45:00] doing something that they should be doing, or if something's too overstimulating, or whatever it is, if there is a battle.

Or something big emotion happening. It is so easy to lose your cool as a mom. It is so easy to feel overstimulated. It is so easy to just, everything to snowball. And the best thing that someone told me is, think about your child as you. If they are having a hard time through something.

when you're

When you're having a hard time through something, how would you want someone to treat you through that?

When I tell you I know that sounds so simple when I tell you it changed everything in our household It went from battles and power struggles and all of these different things, to we're

here in this together We're a team i'm gonna earn your trust to help you guide you through these emotions You know, it's okay to feel frustrated.

It's okay [00:46:00] to be adventurous and trying things that maybe I don't find to be safe, I shouldn't say it's okay It's okay to do the developmentally Okay, you know pushing of boundaries, but it's not okay to do unsafe things to our bodies the way that I Have now become a mom that gets down on their level I sit with them.

I literally just touch them. I'll just put my hand on there. You can't see, but I just put my little hand on their thigh and I'm like, Hey, how can I help those words? Even with my two and a half year old, who's trying to learn language, she doesn't maybe understand that language, but she can see my empathy and she can feel my empathy.

And that makes The biggest difference because they feel like you're on their team everything in their body so tumultuous in these in these instances where if I mean if I'm feeling it as a parent and as an adult who has [00:47:00] my brain fully developed Imagine how it's coming out in their little bodies.

They don't understand They're like why am I feeling this way and then it just snowballs and then but to have someone You Who is quietly showing you love and support, maybe not by saying it out loud all the time, but by sitting with you by saying, how can I help? Or by just sitting with them until they're through that big feeling.

And then you just take a deep breath together and you just really sit there empathetically with them. That has transformed our entire way of life in here. Now they know they just know that that's the way they know that I am always going to be there with them Even if it's something like, you know I have a seven and a ten year old where they are pushing a boundaries becomes bigger as they get bigger, you know And so sometimes it's stuff where I'm like, hey, that's really not.

Okay, whereas it's like, you know, just safety wise or whatever But they always know through [00:48:00] it. I'm going to love them. I'm going to support them It is so unconditional and we'll figure it out together. I don't like that choice I don't like where we're feeling right now But we're gonna figure this I i'm in this with you And then the other thing that I have found that really really helps me is talking to them Man to man or man man woman woman really about How their actions make me feel so if they're doing something that I've given them five warnings about I'm like, hey I don't like what we're doing here.

Let's stop. Okay, that's warning number one. All right, we're on the two we're on a three and then when I get to usually when I get to two I look at them and I make them look at me and I say I'm Starting to feel really frustrated. I don't like feeling frustrated But you not listening to me, that makes me really frustrated.

And then sometimes like my younger ones will be, well, my two and a half year old doesn't [00:49:00] understand that much language, but he'll be like, like, he can't, he's like my, like, he doesn't understand, but he's like, Oh, Oh, but then when we get to the point, if, you know, I say that and they're still doing the same thing.

And if I have to become that raised voice mom, because that's just what it like, like, I'm like, Hey, and I become Like just very old about it. I say to them in that I'm like, do you see how Mama's talking right now? I don't like talking like this, but you are not listening to me. And then they, because we talked about it a little bit in their developmentally appropriate way.

They have that understanding of temperatures rising. They're like, Oh, okay. Well, I can see how mama got to this point because she literally told me, I'm not listening to her. That's making her frustrated. And now she's at that point where we're at the climax of it. And I, [00:50:00] they, they start to have that understanding.

And it's funny because your older ones will also start to narrate that. They literally be like, like my older ones to my younger ones will be like, That's really gonna make mama frustrated. I wouldn't do that. I wouldn't do that. Mama's already warned you that she's getting a little frustrated. Do you want mama to get more frustrated?

And so it's cute because they start to have this language of their emotions, of people's emotions and how people get to the emotions that they get to. So I just find overcommunication to be so important in a developmentally appropriate way. But I also really just to bring it back to the original poster, find that empathetic part of you of if you, no matter what, if your kid is crying, think about, put yourself in their shoes for a second.

It could be they're crying over, they can't get their shoe on. And to us, we're like, that's not something to cry about. Like it's just a shoe. To them, it's their world in that moment. And so [00:51:00] if you can just think to yourself, Wow. If I was crying about anything right now, and someone walked in and said to me, Why are you crying about that?

That doesn't matter. 

Krissy: Right. 

Maria: That's, that invalidates how you're feeling, and it also, It makes you get more amped up because you're like, why is someone telling me that how I'm feeling is not okay or it's, it shouldn't be right. Like how I'm feeling is not right. So instead of leaning towards that, lean towards this.

Sitting next to them being like, yeah, it is frustrating. Like putting shoes on is hard. Yeah. Do you want my help? And just working and guiding them through those emotions, letting them know you're there for them, no matter how minuscule that problem to them is to you. It's their world. So just really trying to bring it ground yourself into they're having this emotion for a reason.

And I'm going to sit with them through [00:52:00] that. And it really, I'm not kidding. We'll make your kid be able to harness their emotions so much better as they grow because they don't end up having more inflammatory things. They just feel like. You know what? This is a safe place to tell mama, I'm feeling frustrated right now.

There's just so many things connected to, I just feel like empathy, love, all of it. It's just so important to kids, to the world, to everything. So that is, that's my biggest biggest thing. If you could just start at the little tiny things, sit with your kid. That that's, that's step number one. If they're feeling something and you're starting to feel a power struggle.

Just take a deep breath, go sit next to them, take the temperature down, figure out how you can guide through it together instead of trying to just be the more authoritative one in that relationship. put that aside for the moment and just sit with them. 

Krissy: I 100 percent agree. I think that having a background in child education or child development really helps to empathize and to understand that these [00:53:00] are incomplete brains.

So reading a book or even just the beginning of the book No Drama Discipline or Five Principles of Parenting, both of those do a really good job of bringing the developmental research into layman's terms that anybody can understand and it's readable.

So those are really great places to start. Also the world of OT, I think is huge here. I mean, I'm hearing this mom say that the three year old spitting. And I know that when my three year old starts to, to pull my hair, just every, my one and a half year old, like the advice doesn't always hold true that you read everywhere for toddlers.

 They're so incomplete. You can't reason with them. and sometimes even connecting is hard. So, I'll just set up the couch cushions and tell them to crash their bodies into it. Right. Yeah. Right. They need to feel the earth. They need to literally be grounded.

Truly. And sometimes that's a way that you can't. Do yourself, they have to just throw themselves into a pillow or, yes. Take it and toss it across the room. And that's here one of our 

Maria: favorite ones that I learned through my actually both my [00:54:00] daughter and my son's OTs is heavy. It's, was it heavy lifting?

Krissy: Heavy work. Heavy 

Maria: heavy work. Yeah. Thank 

Krissy: you. Heavy work. 

Maria: Literally, they, when we were doing virtual therapies during COVID, our OT literally was like, throw one of your kids into a laundry basket and then have your daughter push them across the room. Yes. And I was like, that's how simple it is. And it reset her entire nervous system.

She would just be like, ah, and she'd be like pushing them across. We'd pretend that it was, they were race cars. And she would be so like reset after that. OT is. Incredible. Incredible. Incredible. All 

Krissy: the OT accounts on Instagram. Literally all of them. So good. Well, this has been such an incredible conversation.

I really enjoyed talking about your history your slime, your early intervention advocacy, everything you bring to the table. It's just really incredible. Do you have any [00:55:00] big projects coming up or anything that you're working on that you're sharing that you'd like to plug here?

Maria: Honestly, it's all just motherhood every single day. I will say the things that you will see on my account Or just truly the organic things that come up and arise throughout the days, the weeks of all the different stages of my kids lives. I'm like, ooh, I see that maybe something could be better here.

Let's try and figure out a solution for that. So, I don't have anything planned, but I'm sure there's going to be something coming up that will be interesting. happening in my little neck of the internet. So, or nook of the internet. 

Krissy: Right. I love it. So plug your social media because I'm telling you guys, you need to go follow Maria for the sourdough, the pumpkin arch, the, the literally everything, all the mom hacks.

You are an inspiring account. I think everyone should follow. You are 

Maria: so sweet. My handle is @prideandjoylife. You can find me on Instagram mainly Instagram. That's where I am. [00:56:00] And then I do have a linked Facebook account I am just mean and I do have a TikTok, but I am NOT typically on TikTok I just usually I'm on Instagram and Instagram has been my home and where the community is and I just adore Everyone on there.

It's truly a community. We just go back and forth and it's just

amazing. Everyone,

feels like we're in it together and I love every bit of it. So yeah, follow me and we can be friends. I promise you, I will DM you back because I love when like we all giggle together. Giggling is the best thing of my day. So 

Krissy: come join. So important.

So important. I love that. If you are interested in sharing your story, please email me at boldlittlemind@ gmail.com. I would love to hear your story and share your story with the world as well. Check out my social media. I'm @BoldLittleMinds primarily on Instagram. It's the same. You can find me on Facebook, YouTube, TikTok, and Pinterest.

 You can find this podcast pretty much [00:57:00] anywhere podcasts are. Make sure you subscribe this, to this, and share with your friends. And thank you so much for tuning in to the Bold Little Minds Momcast. Join us next time for another inspiring episode with another inspiring mom. And until then, thank you so much.

And we'll see you next time. 

 

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