Raising a Medically Complicated Child as a Stay at Home Mom and How to Prepare for Kindergarten: Reem’s Story

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

Episode 1: Raising a Medically Complicated Child as a Stay at Home Mom & Preparing for Kindgergarten: Reem’s Story

Welcome to the BoldLittleMinds MomCast blog! In this space, we're all about celebrating the diverse and inspiring stories of mothers who navigate the complexities of parenting with grace and resilience. In our premiere episode, I had the pleasure of sitting down with Reem, a remarkable mother of three young boys. Join us as we delve into her journey, which took her from the corporate world to teaching, and ultimately into the role of a full-time medical mom.

Meet Reem: From Teacher to Medical Mom

Reem's journey into motherhood is both unique and relatable. Initially navigating a corporate career, she transitioned into teaching, aligning her professional life with her personal goals. Her story took an unexpected turn with the birth of her third child, whose medical complexities required her to leave her teaching career to focus on his full-time care. Reem's classroom experience has been a backbone in her parenting, shaping her approach to independence and learning. Her journey underscores the unpredictable shifts in identity that often accompany motherhood, particularly when faced with unanticipated challenges.

Parenting Through Change

Reem's story is marked by the profound shifts that come with each new phase of life. She candidly shares her transition from a working mom to a stay-at-home mom, a decision shaped by the necessity to care for her medically complex son. This transition, she reveals, was an unexpected identity shift, bringing with it a sense of loss from leaving a beloved career, but simultaneously opening up new avenues for growth and connection with her children. Adjusting to a life centered around medical needs, Reem discusses the layers of change that came with COVID, shifting friendships, and navigating motherhood as an "older mom." Her resilience and adaptability shine through these experiences, offering insight into the balancing act of personal identity and familial responsibilities.

Connecting Through Instagram and Sharing Knowledge

For Reem, social media platforms have been invaluable, providing both a connection to other mothers and a space to share her knowledge. She's passionate about extending her teaching skills into new areas, helping other stay-at-home moms navigate play-based learning and sensory play. Through her Instagram page, "The Mommy Toolkit," and her successful Etsy and Teachers Pay Teachers shops, Reem provides resources and ideas for educational play activities. Her creations reflect a desire to fill gaps with practical tools that support child development, much like her sought-after bookmarks and behavior calendars.

Looking Ahead

Reem is excited about the future as her children grow and attend school. She plans to expand her influence in the parenting community through workshops and enrichment programs, drawing from her wealth of experience to support other families. As we wrapped up our conversation, Reem's story reminded us of the unpredictable beauty of motherhood—a journey filled with layers of love, adaptation, and resilience.

Closing Thoughts

Reem's journey encourages us all to embrace the chaos and find joy in the unexpected. Her story is a testament to the strength and sacrifice inherent in motherhood, offering inspiration to any parent facing their own unique challenges. You can connect with Reem on Instagram @themommytoolbox Thank you for joining us on this inaugural episode of the Bold Little Minds MomCast blog. If you have a story to share or are inspired by Reem's journey, reach out to us at boldlittleminds@gmail.com. Stay connected and look out for our next episode with another inspiring mom. Until then, embrace your journey and the chaos that comes with it.

Help Us Grow

The BoldLittleMinds MomCast is made possible by you - the listener. Your support goes directly into making each episode happen—thank you for being part of the journey!

All donations go directly to supporting the production of the BoldLittleMinds MomCast

For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Thank you so much for joining me for the very first episode of the Bold Little Minds MomCast.

This podcast has been so much fun to put together. I've really enjoyed learning about the process of putting together a podcast. It's something I've joked about with my friends and family for years. Me and my sister constantly talk about starting the pod, where we just make jokes and laugh with each other. So to have this idea become a reality is just beyond my wildest dreams. I'm so excited to share this with you and put this out into the world. I hope you've been enjoying your August. I know I sure have. It's been really hot and humid, but we've also had some really cool days, which is a really nice mix.

My boys aren't really into playing in the water, so we do a lot of water table [00:01:00] play, but we don't really go swimming or play in sprinklers, which is tough for me because I am a water person. I absolutely love swimming, and I haven't been in years because of this.

It's just totally wild to me. I don't understand where these kids came from who just can't stand the water. So it's made for a long summer for me, but I've really still been enjoying getting outside, playing with the kids and doing lots in my backyard. If you are following me on Instagram, then you'll see that I've been doing this whole backyard renovation for them this summer.

And part of that is because they're not into the water, so we need something really fun to do outside. This has been a really fun project for me, and it's been really great seeing it develop. I've really liked that, the accountability that Instagram and doing this series has offered me because otherwise I might not have followed through on a lot of my ideas.

So making these videos and, and setting myself to a goal of putting a video about this series out every week has really helped me stick with it and come up with some new creative ideas. The boys don't love them all yet. [00:02:00] They're not super into them right now, but they will be and I'm seeing them grow with it.

For example, my easel, we made a big plexiglass easel outside. And they were not into it for a few weeks. It was like, totally bizarre. We made this, they liked it, but they weren't into it. And they're still My kids love to paint. They love drawing. They love all these things. So I was just mind blown, but now they're starting to tip toe into it.

We've painted on it a couple of times right now. My stepmother drew a picture of my, three year old on it and he will not let me clean it off because he absolutely loves this picture. But other than that, he's been really enjoying it. I'm hoping we get to draw on it again soon before too much time goes by because I'm hoping he'll forget about the drawing.

Maybe I should leave it out in the rain and then he'll forget about it. Uh, we'll see. But, it's been a lot of fun to do and I hope that you have some really fun projects at your house too.

In this episode, I interview my friend Reem. She's an incredible mother of three young boys. She was in an interesting situation after having [00:03:00] her third child who ended up being medically complex. She chose to become a stay at home mom to care for him full time In this episode, we talk about how becoming a medical mom changed her life. It changed her identity, it affected her family dynamics, and she had to learn a whole new set of skills. Reem is an incredible mom. I'm so excited to share Reem's story with you, so let's give it a listen now. 

Krissy: Welcome to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name's Krissy. I'm a stay at home mom to two young boys, and I am thrilled to be with Reem today, who is a current stay at home mom to three boys ages 10, 8, and almost 3, and a former kindergarten teacher. Thank you so much for joining me today.

Reem: Thank you for having me, Krissy. I'm so excited.

Krissy: Me too. We've been friends on Instagram for a few months now in, in different groups together, interacting and being able to see each other's lives through that. So I'm really excited to sit down and chat with you about your story and, and all these amazing things you have going on.

Reem: Yes, thank you. It really has been so great to get to know each other through the Instagram platform. You know, I built so many [00:04:00] friendships there that I never really imagined I could. And so I'm really, really excited to sit down and talk with you.

Krissy: One of the things that I really am excited about with this podcast is giving moms an opportunity to share their story, who they were, talk about themselves for a little while. So can you share with me your journey of becoming a mom?

Reem: Yeah. It has been a journey. You know, I started out in the corporate world actually.

Krissy: Oh, wow.

Reem: Yeah. And I knew it wasn't for me because I always wanted a family. So I transitioned into being a teacher. At that time we started out having our babies and our first one was born and then our second one was born. And it was a really neat journey to be a teacher while being a mom. It just fit so well together. My breaks were their breaks. They came school with me and they came home after school with me. And it was just a really nice community for my kids to grow up in. And then we had our third there's a [00:05:00] pretty good age gap, as you said, 10, eight, and now almost three. And our third child presented some new complexities that we were not expecting. a medical journey that we started to go on, and that forced me to leave my career as a teacher and stay home to care for him. And so now I stay home and care for all three boys.

Krissy: Amazing. Amazing. I mean, it's incredible what these kids will do. You have no idea what to expect and where your journey will go from there. So what an experience having two boys older who you were able to have a career and do that with, and then one who needed more of your attention know that my teaching experience, I feel like, really rounded out my, my mothering. I felt like I, I was more informed about childhood development, things like that. Did you find the same kind of thing?

Reem: Absolutely. I, I always, when I was in the classroom, you know, I would always treat my students and kind of think to [00:06:00] myself, okay, if, if this was my kiddo, how would the parents want me to react? And then I took that mindset home as well, I taught kindergarten for 10 years, almost 10 years. So in a kindergarten classroom, one of the main things was independence, teaching independence, making sure the kids could do things on their own and get by. And I made sure to take that home with me. And so, you know, it's funny cause my husband would want to do things for the kids, like, okay, we got to go faster, like put their shoes on, you know, things like that. I would just pause and say, hold on, need to be able to do this themselves. Let's give them a minute. And that's just one example of how teaching had influenced my parenting style. But once it came to our third child, I will also say that some things that I never applied with our first two became instantly applicable with our special needs, medically complex baby. Things that like speech therapy, things like sign language all of those that I had in my teacher [00:07:00] toolkit, but I never really needed to pull out. That's when they became really valuable.

Krissy: Right. It's interesting to hear you talk about the importance of independence and with your first two children and then this. Third child who by a lot of counts is probably incredibly dependent. How have you seen that play out?

Reem: yeah, he is. And, and especially because he not only has one parent, two parents, but also two siblings caring for him as well therapists and just this whole community of people who wanted to watch him grow and succeed. And even, you know, I'm guilty because he's my baby and

Krissy: Sure.

Reem: treat them a little bit differently thinking, Oh, he needs a little more help or Oh, be careful with him. So you have to balance that out for sure. I'm finding, and he's going to start preschool well next month.

Krissy: Wow.

Reem: it is a little different to apply that independence teaching them that through play, it's the [00:08:00] baby, it's the third, and with his different complexities.

Krissy: Absolutely. And you never know if you're doing the right thing anyway. 

Krissy: It's constantly second guessing, wondering if you're doing enough anyway or too much, right? I find that with my kids, I'm, I'm constantly wondering if I'm coddling them or not exposing them to enough. But one thing that I saw that you said you're passionate about talking about is, is school readiness, but through different.

experiences and exposures. So how does that play into all of this?

Reem: I really think that the kids that come in to kindergarten is specifically because that's what I, I have my experience in who had more experiences, like, you know, going out into the world and applying what they're learning about at home and what they're talking about or seeing, they just. They just had that background knowledge to bring to the table. and so when you're when you're reading a story, they might make a connection. Oh, I know what that is. I've seen that before. I've touched that before. I've smelled that before. All these different experiences that they can connect their learning [00:09:00] to once they're in a classroom and ready to learn.

Krissy: That's great. And what do you think about kids who are raised by stay at home moms, right? I worry about that with my kids too. They're here with me. They're not at a daycare. We're not going to the library every day. We're not interacting with other kids every day. So what are your tips on that? 

Reem: Think that stay at home moms now have so many resources at their fingertips. And are doing a wonderful job applying things like sensory play and play based learning at home and offering their kids. Like bringing the outside world into them, it's hard. I mean, I'm even right now, me getting out of the house with all three of them is a lot.

Krissy: Ooh. Yeah.

Reem: and so we don't do it every day. You know, we do it maybe once or twice a week and we know it's on the calendar. This is coming. We're going to get ready for it. But Instagram has been such [00:10:00] a toolbox, a world of knowledge for those stay at home moms to just have these ideas that they can bring inside the home. and even just simple things, going for a walk, you

Krissy: Mm hmm.

Reem: so I think that, that all of that together helps when you can't get out of the house

Krissy: I love that. Yeah. I, that really resonates with me. I find that even when I bring my children to other kids, that's not really adapting them. That's not informative for them in, in a lot of ways at their ages of being one and a half and three, they're still parallel playing or just standing in the corner and, you know, awkwardly watching, but they'll talk to the neighbor when we go on a walk.

So I've been trying to reframe my personal definition of a community in a village to include your neighbors because they used to be a part of it. We used to talk to those kinds of people. They used to be important. So why aren't they, why do they feel less so now? I love how you brought up sensory [00:11:00] play and because it's not just your experiences out in the world, right? You don't. You don't have to go out and see the pyramids to know what we're talking about when we read the story. And that's, it, that's applies to everything.

Reem: Yeah. And it's not just exposure to the world,

Krissy: Sure.

Reem: but it's also exposure through reading and through literature and stories, you know, all of that, they can connect that too. I mean, how many times have I read a book, an adult fiction book, and I don't even know what something is that I've read about. And then I go into the world and I hear that about this again. And I remember, and I recall that information because. Oh, I read about a character that went through something like that. It's the same thing for kids and they learn visually and those picture books are so rich in teaching them.

Krissy: That's a great point. Yeah. There's so much as being an adult that we forget to apply to kids for some reason. Right? Like that. And even with socialization, we expect so much from these little kids that I don't want to go out every day and socialize with [00:12:00] peers that I don't know. So why would I expect my kids to want to do the same thing?

Now let's talk about how your life has changed since becoming a mom.

We've talked about how a lot of your experience, as a teacher and in the corporate world have informed what you've done and how these kiddos have come in and rocked your world. So how have you found out that your life is changing now?

Reem: I think the big change for me was when our third child came along. You know, being a teacher was to me, not just a job. It was really a lifestyle and I always kind of thought of it that way. You know, my classroom was my second home and my older two were so comfortable in my classroom. being forced to leave that world behind, you know, not choosing that for myself, you know, so many moms do choose to stay home with their kiddos. And for me it was not a choice because our baby was born with several congenital heart diseases and congenital lung diseases. And he was not able to be cared for by anyone other [00:13:00] than a qualified nurse. And there were no nurses in the nursing pool at the time. This

Krissy: No,

Reem: after COVID or like during COVID. So there were no nurses and I didn't want to leave him with a nurse. I wanted to care for him. So that was probably the most difficult transition because I went from being a working mom very comfortable and happy where I am to a stay at home mom. I didn't know what I was doing. I love to be productive and feel valued.

And, you know, I'm a busy body. so that was a, quite an abrupt change. And kind of like what you were talking about in your first episode, your introduction episode, I could really connect with the identity crisis of now I have to figure out who I am again. You know, when you first leave a job and people ask you, oh, what do you do?

Well, you can kind of say, well, I used to be a kindergarten teacher, but now I stay home with my kids. the further away you get from that, you know, two years out, it, it feels like, well, do I [00:14:00] still say that? Do I still connect to being a teacher? It's been a while. Am I just a mom? Who am I? Right. And it's definitely taken some time to get comfortable with that transition and kind of why I started my Instagram page too, because I think I just still have all these ideas and knowledge. I applied in the classroom and I wanted to share it and still feel like I can help. I can continue to contribute and give other stay at home moms these ideas.

Krissy: absolutely, I can, I, you know, I can relate to that. It's, it's huge. It's interesting hearing you say that because I chose to stay home. I didn't necessarily plan on it at first. I took my maternity leave. I took an extended leave. And then I just knew that this was for me, but you didn't have that opportunity.

Did you know as soon as he was born, you weren't going back? Was it kind of a thing that I'll extend maternity leave and it just kind of,

Reem: Yeah. So my plan was because we didn't know [00:15:00] the extent of the medical complications at the time. We knew that there were going to be some, right. And then he was born and we kept finding out more and more and more. So the plan was a temporary maternity leave and my district allows us to take a full year. and so I was going to take that year and then come back. But as the months passed by, we very quickly started to realize this isn't going to work. There's not going to be a return. For a while, for years, you know, and we, we just started to realize that because he was requiring so much breathing support that it just didn't seem likely, first of all, that I could return.

And 2nd of all, it also didn't seem okay or fair to put that level of responsibility on someone else, like a child care provider, even a grandparent. It was too heavy to lay it on someone [00:16:00] else. So yeah, a couple of months down the road, we, we started to see the reality was I wasn't returning I had to get comfortable with that.

Krissy: and what a terrifying time to even be thinking about these options. I know that I had my child around the same time and it, you just had no idea what, what to expect, what was going on. So to have a child with lung condition, holy moly.

Reem: Yeah. I think my last year of teaching while I was pregnant was the COVID year. You know, we, we in school. We didn't we didn't do it virtually, but it was very small classrooms, masks all day. and I was, you know, carrying this child. So I left the classroom at that time.

And I didn't know that I wasn't coming back. So I kind of left my classroom a whole mess. Months later, I came back to clean it all up and yeah.

Krissy: What a complicated feelings that must have been for you. I mean, you knew that you were taking [00:17:00] the extended time or maybe you, you decided that after, but wow. Did you get an opportunity to say goodbye to everybody to get a nice sendoff?

Reem: Oh, I'm having a hard time remembering.

Krissy: it's hard.

Reem: I don't think, I don't think so. I think it was through email.

Krissy: Yeah.

Reem: You think that once I finally figured out. The plan and what the plan was gonna have to be. It was an email. Goodbye.

Krissy: That's tough. Do you still keep in contact with your friends?

Reem: I do. I do, especially my team my Kindergarten and team that was a special relationship. So we do stay in touch.

Teaching is so personal, even though you're all in your own different classrooms, running your own different world, you just connect with people on such a different level.

It really is, especially when you have your own kids that go to that

Krissy: Oh, sure.

Reem: No, they just feel loved and accepted by the whole staff. And it's, it's, that's part of why I loved that piece of my life.

Krissy: Now, obviously these two [00:18:00] things are different. You had two kids ahead of time. I'm sure the transition to a third child anyway is huge. How did you find all of this impacted your other, your relationship with your other boys, your older boys?

Reem: Yeah, that honestly was one of the most difficult things. Our third, our baby he spent almost the first seven months of his life hospitalized. And that so difficult because we were, we went to the hospital every single day, every single morning we woke up, down. My husband worked from virtually from the hospital. And then every evening we would come home, but it felt like our family was in two pieces. We had two boys at home and we had one baby in the hospital and they could not visit because of COVID, but also because, you know, NICU is, you usually can't visit. And it was really difficult, really difficult during that time to, you felt like you were living [00:19:00] two separate lives. Two broken pieces that were supposed to be together. And my heart craved so much to just have my family be whole. And I just had to wait. I had to wait for it.

Krissy: Right. So you can't even compare your transition from going from 0 to 1, 1 to 2, and 2 to 3 because this is just. Yeah.

Reem: can't. It's such a different, it, our was just so unique, you know, when people do about, Oh, going from one to two was nothing or was hard, you know? For us going from one to two was hard because they were little, they were, they were, they're very close, 21 months apart going from two to three. That was the most difficult for us. I imagine that if we didn't have the experience we had, it would have been, it would have been like, I don't want to say easy. It's never easy,

Krissy: Oh no.

Reem: but you have these two big helpers at home. When you have an age gap like that. And [00:20:00] so it would have been much different than having the first two,

Krissy: Right.

Reem: was a very big challenge.

Krissy: Absolutely. Now let's rewind back to zero to one, right? How I, that is, I think people don't talk about that enough. That was huge for me. I remember thinking, why do people keep doing this? This is so hard. So, but I don't know if it's, you never know. Was it my baby that was more difficult? What was your experience?

Reem: Yeah. I mean, so my oldest is going to be 10 years old this week

Krissy: Wow. Happy birthday.

Reem: I can't believe I've been a mom for 10 years, but thinking back on, on that, it was, it was such a flip, right? I feel like you start to break your life into before we had kids and then after we had kids and it's even almost hard to remember a time before [00:21:00] you had kids because it's so consuming. And he was a difficult baby. He was fussy and very challenging, but also you're nervous. I remember feeling like I didn't know what I was doing, first of all, and worrying about everything and not only worrying about the little things, but worrying about how they're going to affect their, you know, them as they grow. And, you know, every little thing that you do as a first time parent for me was like, Oh no, are they going to be have bad manners now? Because we did this one thing, or are they going to be hooked to screens because we, you know,

Krissy: Right.

Reem: And then the second one came along and he was such an easygoing baby. And then you just are like, okay, I don't have to worry about that much.

It's,

Krissy: Yep.

Reem: you don't fret the little things. Quite

Krissy: That's so true.

Reem: Yeah, quite like you do the first time around. There's nothing like the first time.

Krissy: Right. And what about with your identity? I mean, you were still [00:22:00] teaching at the, you went back to teaching after your maternity leave.

Reem: I do remember very clearly. I only took 10 weeks off with my first I was itching to get back to work. Because I think also part of it was I was a newer teacher at that point. I was, I'd only been teaching for one or two years and I just loved it. And I really just wanted to get back. But for me, working made me a better mom.

Krissy: Hmm.

Reem: able to focus. and really be present with my kids when I was home because I knew that I had already kind of checked my boxes and filled my other cups at work. now with that said, as they got older and as they entered that kindergarten age, That was difficult because with kindergartners all day, coming home [00:23:00] to kindergarten aged kids at night, was a lot. It was very exhausting.

Krissy: I bet.

Reem: the challenge.

Krissy: Oh my gosh. Yeah. I taught middle school and high school and I can't even imagine going home to a middle schooler or a high schooler after that's a, so yeah, when you're spending with that same, like the kids never get older when you're teaching, you're always going back in time and then, and doing that.

That's, that's the thing about teaching that I think teacher world needs to talk about more is how funny that like time warp is. So yeah, I can imagine having those kids at home too.

Reem: But when he was a baby, you know, it

Krissy: Sure.

Reem: you get to go to work and you have your friendships there and then you go home. you have your sweet little baby and he's ready to see you and you missed each other, you know, and that was really sweet.

Krissy: Yeah, that's really sweet. So for your identity shift, do you think it was bigger? It's so hard for you to compare. I know because of all the other things that happened with it, but when you first just becoming a mom [00:24:00] or becoming a stay at home mom, like what, what are the pieces that were different?

Reem: Absolutely. Becoming a stay at home mom was the most difficult identity shift in my life to this point. Because I, I feel like I always wanted to be a mom, right? So the first time when we had our first child, it was like a piece of me that I always knew I wanted was now coming to life and real and just fulfilling my life's dreams. I get to be teacher. I get to love that I get to have this baby boy at home and my family was feeling complete. That wasn't too much of an identity crisis or shift for me. It was something I had planned for and something I had anticipated. But we did not plan on a medical baby. We did not plan on me leaving my job. You know, we didn't plan on three boys. I

Krissy: Right.

Reem: to have a [00:25:00] little girl in there somewhere. So I think that. That was way more of an identity shift for me than just becoming a mom. Becoming a mom felt more natural becoming a medical stay at home mom.

Krissy: Right. Right. All it's such a big snowball for you. All of those layers that happened at that same time. Wow. So

Reem: it was a lot of layers. When you talk about the layers, you know, thought so much about this. it all changed so fast. It was COVID, babies in the hospital. We had, I had to leave my career. We had friends shift around at that time. And you know, I was an older mom, so there were things hormonally shifting as well. And it was just so much at once, so much change all at once. And I think that was part of what led to such a big identity shift.

Krissy: I mean, [00:26:00] I, did not have as many factors and it was huge for me. So I can, I can only imagine. So now here you are, you have, your boys are older. You are, are you feeling more confident as a stay at home mom now? Are you able to breathe a little better now with your little ones? How is everything going?

Reem: Yeah, I'm definitely feeling more confident. But we all have good days and bad days, but

Krissy: Oh God.

Reem: where you nail it, Oh, it feels so good. 

It's it's going so much more smoothly. We just hit a really big milestone in our house and our our little boy is for the first time breathing independently. In, in his first three years of life. And so we just feel like we have overcome a big, big, big hump, big obstacle. And that has been wonderful.

And his brothers are obsessed with him. And I'm really excited for the fall because I think we're going to fall into a really good routine, a really good groove. I'm going to have three kids in three different schools with. You know, different start times, different [00:27:00] end times, it's going to be a little crazy, but I like it that way because it's going to be an organized, an organized chaos, right?

Krissy: Sure.

Reem: I'm really looking forward to that transition. Because I think we're going to fall into such a rhythm that we haven't had yet. Things have been so up and down roller coasters in and out of the hospital, whatever. And now I think we're finally going to get to a point where we can embrace this stay at home mom craziness.

But. Yeah. organized, organized chaos.

Krissy: I love it. I, I, my motto is embrace the chaos, like you just, just go with it. It's not going to change. It's not going away. You might as well roll with it. Awesome. That's, and that's such great news about your little one. Oh my goodness. I mean, what does that mean moving forward with him? I'm sure there's still a huge road ahead of, of, you don't even know what to expect.

Reem: Yes. Yes. So moving forward, his biggest challenges are going to be speech therapy. So he has a significant speech [00:28:00] delay because his breathing problems him to have a trach and a ventilator for very long time. speech and feeding, he also does not feed or drink by mouth. So he's a hundred percent tube fed. And those will be our biggest challenges to come, but I have a lot of faith and confidence that he will get there with the right amount of time. I mean, everything has to be on his time and when he's ready. I'm, I'm looking forward to tackling those challenges with him continuing to do more play activities that will help encourage all of that.

You know, the speech, the vocabulary and the feeding, the food sensory food sensory is big in our house because. he doesn't want to put it in his mouth. So, you know, I, I remember hearing you talk about hazards and you're so afraid of doing sensory play because your kiddos want to put everything in their mouth. And I have the opposite problem. I'm trying to get my kid to put things in his mouth. He doesn't [00:29:00] want to do it. I

Krissy: my goodness. Every kid is so different, huh? It's a good thing there's so many different resources to pull from. That's great I love it. Do you feel like your background has led you to feel more prepared or is this still just your, you feel like there are days where you have no idea what you're doing with this?

Reem: definitely feel like my background has helped me be more prepared. A hundred percent. But with that said, I guess I also never connected all the dots. before. Like something that I maybe would have done in the classroom, I would have done it because I thought it was cute and fun, but I maybe didn't think to myself like, oh, this is really great for building these consonant sounds and let's work on just this for this activity. I wouldn't have thought of ways to intentionally work and focus on these skills that he needs. I wouldn't have thought of it in that way before. Now I'm able to, I have all these ideas, but I can also connect it [00:30:00] so specifically to his needs. and honestly, our therapists have helped so much with that. Just teaching me and showing me, just observing what they do. and then my, my light bulbs are like, Oh, I can do that with such and such activity. Or, Oh, this is a great children's book that I already know that would go perfectly with that activity. So a hundred percent has helped, connecting the dots kind of came later.

Krissy: That's amazing. 

Reem: Yeah. And things like, I didn't even, you know, I knew kids went to speech therapy in my classroom. I knew they went and saw the OT. I didn't really know what they were doing. I didn't really understand, you know, things like, like baby sign language was something that so many moms did talk about, but I didn't find it useful or resourceful for me in my previous situation. And now it's like such a valuable resource that I had no idea about. So. It's just really interesting to have these, resources that float around you, but they don't really apply. And then all of a sudden one day it's like it's vital to [00:31:00] his, his development.

Krissy: And have you found, I know that I found that Instagram made me feel like a little expert. Within things. I was tapping into people who are actual experts and learning through their experience and the free resources that they just put out like watching highlights and stories is incredible.

Reem: Yeah, no, I think that Instagram and social media in general be such a resource. You know, it can be such a toolbox for what you're needing, what you're looking for. And in this case, more than just the ideas of play, but also the, those, those people out there who are sharing the why behind it, the, you know, this is, this is the, this is how to do it.

Not just like, Oh, here's a fun idea, but also this is how to present it or. You know, pay attention to these things as they play. Think that's, what's been so valuable [00:32:00] making those connections to like, so many of, of the creators that are sharing are so happy and willing to chat with you about it.

And they just, if you have a question, just ask them and they are so willing to share their knowledge and there's so much knowledge out there. to tap into.

Krissy: Absolutely. Now, speaking of knowledge, one of the things that I love sharing and I, and we both are in this world of sharing activity ideas is you know, We have all this information. We have all of these resources and ideas

so what is your favorite go to activity to use at home?

Reem: Yeah. So if it's a go to like a real quick, right? I like to keep a sensory bin that's hidden, pre prepared, all ready to go. a lid on it, put it aside. So when you need something quick and easy, it's already ready, but it has to be a mess free kind of situation. Right? So I'm thinking for me, I used, I had one put together for a very long time.

It [00:33:00] was the little macaroni noodles and little rice. And just like gems,

Krissy: Oh, fun.

Reem: little like rocks and gems that were sparkly and throw in some cups and spoons. And I would pull that out for my older boys. now and then we just pull it out for a couple, for a day when I need an activity and then I just put the lid back on, put it away. wouldn't see it for two months. We pull it back out it was like, Oh, a new, a new bit. No, it's the same one. They have no idea. you know, they remember, but maybe add in one more thing, throw in some erasers in there. Those, you know, little mini erasers, put the lid back on, put it away. Just keep it simple,

Krissy: Love it. And then you don't have to find those things. I, the other day I was making them this, you know, how people put the colored tape on a tray, right? And it looks like a web. And I was like, I'm going to do that. It was in the afternoon. They were just, you know, cranky afternaps. It was terrible. So I was putting the tape And in the two minutes, I have no idea [00:34:00] how long it took in real life to put it on.

One of them was climbing onto the dinner table. The other one was trying to open the window. And I'm like, this is not low prep. This takes time. So actually having something pre made when you have the time, but don't just waste it on a good moment. Throw it, throw it. Yeah. Put it away.

Reem: I completely understand the climbing on the tables. I hear you or the wrestling. That's what would also happen. Yeah, no, definitely. I think that planning it ahead, like when you have a minute and that doesn't take long, right? Throw some noodles in and they were not dyed noodles. They were just noodles,

Krissy: Great.

Reem: you know, they didn't, my kids were older, so it wasn't a choking hazard. They didn't care. Noodles, rocks, put a lid on it, put it away. Okay. We're good to go now when they need something or they're bored, pull it out.

Krissy: I love it. That's such a good tip. One thing that's really interesting about mothering is we spend a lot of time becoming an expert and learning [00:35:00] things about our kids and raising kids, but you don't necessarily get to use it again. You maybe have the three kids sure.

And you get to use it for three, four times, but that's it. It kind of just goes away into the back of your mind and you can't just share it with your friends and your neighbors because you don't want to step on toes. Everybody has their own ways. But I want moms to own that to feel like they have this knowledge.

So we found a situation from the internet. Somebody on Reddit was asking for advice from a group and with your experience of boys, you've got the, the 10, the seven and three 10, eight and three. Yep. You've got a huge range of kids here. So the question is I have a three and a half year old and a one year old, and I promise you, it wasn't me who wrote this, although I have the same question.

. They're both great kids. But out of curiosity, at what age did you feel a sigh of relief that maybe things are getting a little easier and why?

Reem: Okay. This is a really good question. So I [00:36:00] have an answer, but you might not like it.

Krissy: That's okay.

Reem: don't think it ever gets easier. It gets I think there are different challenges and they're always going to be you in different ways. You know, like I kept thinking when mine were little, little, Oh, it's going to get just a little easier when they can walk because I don't have to carry them everywhere.

Right. Okay. But then they walk and you're like chasing them because you're so afraid. Okay. Well, it's going to get a little easier when they start school. Well, then they start school and it's like, you're not as physically exhausted because you're not chasing them around all the time, but you've got new challenges. You know, you've got, are they behaving in school? Are they learning? Are they making friends? Are they socializing appropriately? All those things. then, you know, my, my kids on the other end, like you're going to start dealing with other [00:37:00] challenges that I don't even want to think

Krissy: Right.

Reem: Like, you know, are they making the right friends? Driving, I just don't think it's ever going to get easier. I think it's just going to be a different kind of hard

Krissy: I totally agree with you. And I think it even goes into adulthood. I mean, I'm sure that our parents are looking at us saying like, I wish I could say something right now, but I know I can't. And, and I know that I have a friend who has, you know, a grown kids and they're just worried that they're nice people.

Like, did they do the right things? It's too late now to make an impact. And what did they do? But I do think there's a piece of dependence that goes away. And that is a, that's maybe not easier, but it's relieving. It's, it's maybe breathing that sigh of relief. I mean, I, my, He's 19 months right now and he, he was born almost 11 pounds.

This kid is a full turkey, like gigantic and has stayed big because he thinks he's three, like his brother. And he's a [00:38:00] Velcro baby. He is on me all the time and it drives me nuts. But he's now less on me. And playing more and like the other day I folded a load of laundry during the day.

This is life changing. So I do think there are things. So for this, this mom specifically with the three year old and the one and a half year old, I, or three and a half and one year old. I do think that piece gets easier where you can be just a person in some ways again.

Reem: No, I agree because I have friends and family who have older kids and like, they can go to dinner, you

Krissy: Yeah,

Reem: parents, they can go to dinner and they can leave their kids behind. Or right now I'm kind of in that running them around phase, the carpool phase. Right. So we don't have a free night. It's and forth to practice, but at some point they're going to be able to drive themselves. And again, that's like another relief, but at the same time, as the relief comes more panic, [00:39:00] right?

Krissy: exactly. Yeah. Now that I'm not holding him, he's climbing out the window. Yeah, it's different. 

Reem: Part of it, I guess. I'm sure my parents still worry about us all the time.

Krissy: Absolutely. Absolutely. And I think it's hard of the really young kids because you forget what they were like. I think that before four and five becomes this huge black hole for people, especially in the time period before four and five. Phones where we have documented it. Like the only reason I remember what my older one was like at one is because I watch videos of him.

Yeah,

Reem: No, I know. And now that they're older and they ask me like, well, you know, they look at our youngest and they ask me questions like, well, did I do that? Or what was my first words? And I'm like, Oh, I don't It was so long ago, but also when you're in it, you're just like survival every day. And so from that standpoint, I do think the survival mode does get a little easier.

Krissy: that's [00:40:00] fantastic news. I can handle the anxiety. I can handle the other things, but the survival is. Is real. It's tough.

Reem: thing is they, you start to develop a friendship with them too, right? And I know you can, you still have, you have a friendship with them when they're little and you know, you snuggle up and read stories. But I recently took my oldest out on a one on one experience. We just did bowling and. But I felt like I was talking to a friend

Krissy: Yeah.

Reem: was really neat. That was probably the first time that, and I just realized like he is getting older, he is getting big and we could actually talk and converse and kind of go back and forth about things. And because there were no other siblings there or other parents. You know, there to or take away the attention. It was just such a wonderful friendship moment between a parent and child. I just, I wish that we had more time to do more of that because Yeah, it's, it's interesting how it all evolves, right?

Krissy: [00:41:00] Yeah. That's lovely. It really is. I heard a really interesting hack online a long time ago that I've been wanting to implement, which is using their birthday date. So like the 10th and on the 10th of every month, maybe alternate who gets the one on one date with them, but, but doing that and reserving that and maybe the weekend, you know, that's around that.

Reem: I love that. Yeah. At least, you know, once a year, right? Because it's hard. Like we, you say, oh, let's do this once a month. time goes and it's just not easy, especially when there's more than one kiddo.

Krissy: Right.

Reem: but I like that. Yeah,

Krissy: Yeah. It's a fun idea at least to have. And then maybe every now and then you'll remember it and do it and who knows. It's kind of cool. And I love seeing the older kids playing. So I have a niece who's five and, and they're five and three. So my sister's like two years just ahead of me. And and then I have a friend who has a seven year old and a six year old or seven and eight, something like that.

And separately, they've both come over to play and watching those girls play with the activity that I put out for more than [00:42:00] five minutes is. It makes your heart so happy. This pays off. I actually am doing something that people like.

Reem: love that. And I, one of my biggest like about public schools is just that they take away play so early. At least I feel like they do. You know, I felt like as soon as the kids were in first grade, it was like, we're done playing. Like there's no more playtime. And, but then they would come home and they would still love doing those things.

And that was actually my niece who was in middle school, still loved to play kitchen with my kids, you know, restaurant, they're still kids.

Krissy: Yeah.

Reem: And I think we just push them so hard. Like society just starts to think of them as adults. And while they're doing all these other things, so they don't need to be playing with toys anymore or playing imagination anymore, but they really are still kids and they still love to do things like that.

And then, like you said, that makes my heart sing because [00:43:00] not only are they engaged in whatever you've set up with them and it makes you feel so valued, but it also helps engage the little ones because

Krissy: Yeah.

Reem: to play together.

Krissy: Yes. Or they, even if they're not playing with them, they're watching.

Reem: Yes.

Krissy: I'll see my little ones. mimic what they did maybe later or a couple days later or their talk about it. So it sunk in and they're, they're observing and they're seeing. So it's all, it's all connecting. They're making these things go. This has been such a lovely conversation. I've really enjoyed talking to you. Are there any other things that you'd like to touch on before we start to wrap up?

Reem: I'm just excited. about where my page is going on Instagram and sharing, sharing all of my activities. And I'm really hoping to continue growing it and hopefully reaching out more into the community as, I kind of said before, since my kids will all be in school this year to some degree, I'm hoping to start introducing some workshops or like enrichment programs that I can do because it's kind of like you said, that mom [00:44:00] knowledge. you use it for your kids and then it's kind of goes away because your kids are older and they're out of that phase. But I love that stuff. And it's what I'm passionate about. So I'm hoping to maybe build a program where I can continue to do that and serve, other other families, and moms can still learn from that.

Even though my kids maybe have outgrown it.

Krissy: Sure. That's so great. And I think you should plug your Etsy and your Pinterest pages as well, because you have some really amazing printables out there.

Reem: Thank you. Thank you. I try to just create things that are practical and useful for us. And that I think like, Oh, I haven't seen this anywhere. Maybe I should just go ahead and make it for us. And hopefully other people find it useful too.

Krissy: Do you have any favorite resources or bestsellers?

Reem: So my best seller was a bookmark template that I created. I did it for Mother's Day, and it was just like a photo bookmark template, and you can pop in your [00:45:00] pictures and personalize it. and that did really well, I think, because of the personal touch, and it was super easy to use. And for teachers, my best seller was my behavior calendars. they're very useful for, for teachers to have and to communicate with the parents.

Krissy: Yeah, absolutely. I mean, those are the resources. If you can save some time by not making them yourself and finding somebody with a little more creativity than you have a capacity for in the moment that's huge. So definitely check out those pages. 

You can find Reem on Instagram and Pinterest and her shops on teachers pay teachers and Etsy under the username. The mommy toolkit, check the show notes for links and punctuation.

Krissy: Watch for these other exciting new things that are, are coming along. If you are interested in sharing your story, please definitely email me at boldlittleminds@gmail.com. I would love to hear your story and share your story with the world as well. And check out our social media. I'm @BoldLittleMinds on pretty much everything, [00:46:00] and you can find this podcast on pretty much anywhere.

Podcasts are. Make sure you subscribe and share with your friends. Thank you so much for tuning in to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. You can join us next time for another inspiring episode with another inspiring mom. Until then, thank you so much and we'll see you next time. 


Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
Previous

Young Motherhood, Early Intervention, and Empathy in Parenting: Maria’s Story
Next

Creating Nature's Playground: Transforming a Fallen Tree into Log Cars, Step Stones, and Balance Beams