Mindfulness, Self-Care, & Keeping Calm: Blair’s Story

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

Motherhood is a journey filled with unique challenges and incredible rewards. In a recent episode of the Bold Little Minds MomCast, host Krissy, a mom of two boys, sat down with Blair, an occupational therapist and yoga teacher, to discuss their individual experiences and share actionable advice for navigating motherhood with mindfulness and grace.

Introduction to the MomCast and First Week of September

Krissy kicks off the podcast reflecting on the intensity of emotions associated with the first week of September. Whether it's the start of school or a change in seasons, emotions seem amplified. She shares her struggles with maintaining equilibrium in the face of challenges like disrupted sleep schedules and intense behavior from her children. Through these challenges, Krissy encourages moms to be gentle with themselves and to find opportunities for self-care.

The Importance of Mindfulness with Blair

Blair, who is passionate about mindfulness and occupational therapy, shares her insights on incorporating mindfulness into daily life. She underlines the importance of integrating moments of mindfulness into routine activities, emphasizing that mindfulness doesn't have to be a structured or intense activity. Simple exercises or mindful reflections can make all the difference, especially for busy moms.

Blair’s Journey to Motherhood

Blair shares her unique journey to motherhood, noting her desire to be a mom as a true calling. She recounts her experience of marrying during COVID and her first pregnancy, which she describes as an amazing journey despite having to adapt to unexpected circumstances like a C-section. She shares how her experiences have influenced her passion for supporting other mothers, particularly in managing expectations and preparing for different birth scenarios.

Parenting Transitions and Tips

Krissy and Blair discuss the transition from having one child to two, highlighting the emotional and logistical adjustments required. Blair shares her proactive approach, involving her toddler in the process through books and role-playing with dolls, to ease the transition. Both moms stress the value of accepting help from others, which can significantly smooth the transition to parenting multiple children.

Mindful Parenting Practices

At the heart of Blair's approach is mindful parenting, a philosophy that can help parents stay present and connected with their children. Blair shares practical tips, such as using mindful movements and environmental changes to calm herself and her kids. She highlights the significance of being in the moment and meeting personal needs to become a more present and effective parent.

Challenges and Solutions

Blair and Krissy address common parenting challenges, such as coping with public meltdowns and providing supportive environments for children. They provide practical solutions, like engaging children with simple kitchen play activities, using music or movies for distraction during difficult times, and embracing the concept of standing diaper changes for a smoother experience.

Conclusion

The conversation between Krissy and Blair emphasizes the importance of being kind to oneself, seeking moments of mindfulness amidst the chaos, and embracing both the joys and challenges of motherhood. Their discussion offers valuable insights for moms looking for support and affirmation that they're doing the best they can for their families. For more support and mindful movement resources, you can explore Blair's social media at birthandbalance_ot, where she shares a wealth of information on maternal health and child development. Additionally, Krissy invites listeners to share their stories at boldlittlemindsatgmail.com and encourages the community to engage with her content across various social media platforms. The journey of motherhood is as unique as each mom and child, and with resources like the Bold Little Minds MomCast, mothers can find the community and support they need to thrive.

Help Us Grow

The BoldLittleMinds MomCast is made possible by you - the listener. Your support goes directly into making each episode happen—thank you for being part of the journey!

All donations go directly to supporting the production of the BoldLittleMinds MomCast

For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript:

[00:00:00] Hi everyone, you're listening to the Bold Little Minds MomCast, a podcast where we talk to incredible moms who share their unique journey to motherhood, practical tips, and some of our favorite low prep activities so you can enjoy that hot cup of coffee. I'm your host, Krissy, I'm a mom of two boys. I'm glad you're here with us, so pop in your earbuds and let's have some fun.

Krissy: Thank you so much for listening to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy, I am so excited that you're here with me today, and happy first week of September. I know for a lot of you that this means back to school for your kids. Maybe they've already been back for a few weeks, or maybe they're just getting started, but either way, have I don't know about you, but there has been a lot of intense emotions lately.

My kids aren't even in school, but it's still a lot for us right now. I don't know if it's the changing of the seasons, or if there's something celestial happening, but there's gotta be something going on to explain these emotions, and mood swings, and changes, and scream crying, and everything, because it can't just be teeth, and it can't just be these developmental leaps that [00:01:00] I think my kids are going through.

It's really wild. It's so crazy to see my three year old. He's becoming this three and a half year old, which is like every half year at this age, I feel like is so different than the one before. He's becoming a lot more empathetic. He's becoming a lot more nurturing and caring. He's becoming aware of other people and how he interacts with other people.

Like now, sometimes when I yell at him, instead of laughing at me, he cries. And oh my gosh, that breaks my heart. I mean, I don't want to sound like I'm a yelling mom. I'm not yelling him all the time, but. But you know how it is. There are some really tough days and some really intense behaviors that if you find yourself dysregulated, wow, you can really end up as the yelling mom real fast.

And it's not my most proudest moments, but I'm not ashamed of them because I'm a human and I know that that's what's going to happen. And I know that the best thing that you can do with a child is recognize when you have those moments and actively seek repair. [00:02:00] Those are the most important pieces that when you're having these tough moments with kids is repairing afterwards When you lose your cool because you can't be perfect a hundred percent of the time You can't be this gentle parent that you want to be all the time.

It's it's just not realistic and not kind to yourself So give yourself some grace and make sure you're actively looking for those repair opportunities with your children If you're finding that you are doing things that you're not proud of I know I am a lot more this week than I've ever thought You I would be this one week has just been crazy.

We have been having some really, really late nights where my three year old isn't going to bed till like 11 and really, really early wake ups. Um, I'm having my 21 month old last night woke up at 3 15 and that's not the first day this week where we had that. And he went back to sleep, of course, but then it's so disjointed and so disrupted and when you're already dysregulated and feeling tired then it makes it even more difficult to be the mom you want to be and The person you want to be so be gentle with [00:03:00] yourself.

Make sure you're finding those moments for some self care even though I know that my self care is not really a thing right now this week. It's been just crazy. But here I am, I got a haircut today. I found some time, right? The self care doesn't have to happen every single day. But find a moment in your week, maybe, where you can do that.

So I got my haircut, I went and got a coffee, and I am feeling like a new woman. Truly. So. I hope that you are able to find a moment of peace for yourself this crazy week as well. One thing that's really helped me through all these intense moments is taking some moments of mindfulness. And today's episode with Blair, she talks a lot about mindfulness.

And not in this really intense, you have to really build this into your day way, but in a way that is, let's find ways to incorporate mindfulness into your daily life. And have these moments of just movement and clarity and, and reflection or just breathing. And she gives some really [00:04:00] great tips and techniques for doing that.

Flair is a maternal health occupational therapist. And she's very passionate about bringing occupational therapy and mindfulness and movement to women in pregnancy and beyond through motherhood. Her tagline is preparing you for birth in the balance of motherhood. And she couldn't have picked a more accurate.

tagline. It really describes her and her mission to a tee. I'm really amazed by Blair and the work that she's doing for the motherhood community. Check out her page for more ideas on how you can make movement and mindfulness a part of your daily life to really help you reconnect with who you are and who you want to be.

I really hope that you enjoy today's episode and that your week has not been as crazy as mine, but if it is, I hope that you are finding some moments of peace and I hope that you're able to enjoy this changing in seasons as we are moving forward. Thank you so much for listening and let me know what you think.

Welcome to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy. I am a stay at home mom to two young boys, and I am honored to be here today with [00:05:00] Blair, who is a stay at home mom to two young kids ages three and one. She is also an occupational therapist, a yoga teacher, and passionate about supporting moms during pregnancy and beyond.

Thank you so much for being here with me today, Blair.

Blair: Ah, thank you for having me. I'm so excited for this opportunity.

Krissy: Your page is, it's just so fun to follow because you're so real about motherhood and you have these really real moments, but you also have these really supportive moments and like the, yes, me too. Thank you. Somebody notices that it's, it's just really fun to be, to be watching.

Blair: That's good to hear. I think it's been hard to figure out how to show up in the social media space 

Krissy: Hmm. I

Cause there so 

Blair: much like do this or this is the best or like so much of that where I feel like there isn't enough of this is what we're doing today and it's okay that we're watching TV and yeah, just, just finding that balance.

So I'm trying to really show parents that it's okay. To do X, Y, and Z and like find your own way.

Krissy: love that. Yes. I feel like if [00:06:00] you're showing up authentically about who you are, your audience will find you, people will find you, and people who relate to you. Everyone else isn't your people anyway.

Blair: Yeah, I agree. 

Krissy: So tell me about your journey to motherhood. Who were you before being a mom and what led you to where you are now?

Blair: I don't even remember life before being a mom. I don't know if you feel that way too. Know for the longest time I've always wanted to be a mom. It's something that for me always felt like, it sounds so cheesy, but my true calling. I love being an occupational therapist. I love being a yoga teacher. I love all my different roles that I have, within my family and my friends, but I always just longed to be a mom. And We actually, my husband and I got married in COVID. So we like, everything's COVID now. So like the height of COVID, we canceled our wedding, had a backyard wedding and everyone was like, just push it back, push it back. Like, no, I want to, I want to have kids. Like, I want to start that part of my life now. When we got pregnant with our son, people thought I was crazy. It was like, from the very first symptom of like, Oh, I feel really dizzy.

This [00:07:00] is awesome. I was like, things are happening. And I think that's just my personality and my outlook on things from pregnancy and beyond. And I know that doesn't drive with everyone, but it's just I've always been strangely optimistic and excited. feel like just the whole journey of becoming a mom for me, luckily was pretty smooth with my first pregnancy.

Krissy: You were an occupational therapist, but in a different realm. So right now you are really looking into supporting moms, but you did other things before that.

Blair: Yeah. So before kids, I was like super gung ho about neuro and birth to three pediatrics. So very different scopes, but I love, love, love my first passion was spinal cord injury and working with that very 

Krissy: Wow. 

Blair: population, very different from what I do now. So I love that doing inpatient rehab with that population. I always just love the part of it that's [00:08:00] so empathetic and getting to really see someone through that journey. And I vividly remember working with a patient who was trying to problem solve of her mothering occupation. She was trying to figure out now in a wheelchair how to get to a crib and how to get her baby to the changing station. And I remember thinking in that moment, I got the chills thinking about it. That like, there's gotta be a better way. And I just realized, like, I want to help her and I want to figure out how to make mothering which is such a challenging occupation as is, and then throwing in a traumatic spinal cord injury, I think in that moment it was almost a little, a little glimmer of what was to come of me wanting to really help other mothers.

 

Blair: Wow, 

Krissy: that 

Blair: must 

Krissy: have been really amazing. And especially what a, what a pivotal moment for you to really be able to point to that from going from one passion and maybe not bridging right away, but eventually bridging to this other passion. Whoa. I am like [00:09:00] obsessed with occupational therapy right now. I think it's such a underutilized therapy where people, everybody can benefit from it.

Not just necessarily people that have needs. We all have those, these needs. So it's really like wild to be learning about all of this. 

How have you seen OT coming through in your parenting?

In so many ways. That's a huge question.

Blair: I know, I, I truly can't separate it. And a lot of people ask, like, is it hard that you can't separate it? Or like, is it annoying that you can't separate it? And for me, I think it's the most wonderful thing because I think it also helps me be more mindful. And that's something that I really like talk a lot about in general with like my parenting style.

And I feel like, with occupational therapy, a big thing we do is task analysis, and we break down what we're doing and look at how we do it from a cognitive standpoint, a physical standpoint, an emotional, psychosocial, like, you can't separate those things, that's what makes up a person. for me with [00:10:00] mothering, it's like when I see my kids trying to learn a task, my brain is instantly all over the place of like, he's trying to get his pants on and I'm thinking of everything that's happening to make that happen.

I guess if that makes sense, 

Krissy: Yep. 

Blair: I don't know if people

normally think like that, but I think of how can I take apart the task and then work on it and play and work on it in the functional scale. And for me, that's really exciting. It doesn't feel like, like, overwhelming. It's just like, I, I just can't separate the two things.

Krissy: Right. What a benefit that is to have. That's something I feel like

Blair: fun. 

Krissy: definitely. 

Blair: loves it.

He always says like, he defers to me with a lot of parenting things with that, especially with like the sensory interventions and then the functional tasks, which is everything we do. So even with helping our children learn how to use utensils, like that's such an OT thing that comes to mind. But just really working on their independence and things that they want to do or [00:11:00] need to do is like what we do all day, every day and like a fun way, not in like a work way.

Krissy: Oh, sure. Definitely. I think there's a lot of that overlap, right? When you know how to do it through play then it can be just built in anyway. I was a math teacher, so we do so many, we count Everything, we look for shapes everywhere.

So it's just whatever your background might be, it just comes naturally to you.

Blair: Yes. Yes. Learning is everywhere. It really is. 

Krissy: It really is. 

So tell me about your experience being pregnant with being an OT, right? Because there's so much that we do as a pregnant person that is not good for you that I'm sure that you maybe. gave advice to patients in the past or that you're like, Nope, this is how it's going to be.

Blair: Yeah. That was a big thing I think in my first pregnancy. I suddenly learned, your eyes are just totally open to a whole new experience. And I think I had such a new appreciation for what women go through and I think until you go through it [00:12:00] and my experience like you you don't know what you don't know until you know It is what I say and there's nothing wrong with that.

It's just you don't know and that's okay So I feel like when I was going through my first pregnancy, I suddenly was like Oh, like this is what X, Y, and Z feels like. And I also understand why it's hard and it's easier. Like even now I have a mother's thumb and it's very painful and I love sharing tips and tricks for people on what works for me, because it really does help. But still it's like, in the moment, there's certain things that have to get done. And maybe you have to bend or lift or twist a certain way that isn't optimal. It's not how I would teach a patient, but also I'm like, Yeah, if it needs to get done, I try to teach people ways that actually are realistic and I think now after going through so I've had Two pregnancies full term and a miscarriage and I think after going through those experiences I just have different appreciation for what's actually practical helpful advice I think and what's advice [00:13:00] that you're like Yeah.

Krissy: Right. I know. I always say like, what's going to be hard, but you have no idea what it's like, what hard actually means until you're in it. And when you,

Blair: experience is different. 

Krissy: Yeah.

absolutely. Now tell me about your, so this was your pregnancy experience, but what about after birth? I know you had two very different birth experiences.

So tell me about that.

Blair: Totally different. Yeah. So my first was a C section. He was a planned C section because he was breached. And I tried everything to turn him. We found out so late he was breached at 36 weeks. 

Krissy: Wow. 

Blair: Yeah. 

Krissy: made a flip then. Yeah. 

Blair: Yeah.

I'm like, he must have, because there was a really big movement. There was one night we were listening to music in bed and suddenly my stomach was like all over and we're like, that's when he turns. 

Krissy: Yep.

Blair: So, that was a planned C section experience, but it was really hard mentally and emotionally for me because that whole pregnancy, I did so much. [00:14:00] Preparation and training for, unmedicated experience that I was borderline looking at home birth options and like a wildly different outcome. also really hard because people, they think it's helpful to say like, Oh, but you have your healthy baby.

Like, don't worry about how you got there. You got there, which I understand like, yes, of course I'm holding my healthy baby. But I think That whole experience is important. And I think it's really important to acknowledge it and validate those feelings of have a healthy baby and you're healthy and that's amazing, but I'm sorry, you didn't get that experience you wanted. So I think that was really eyeopening for me and something I hope to pass on and support other women that like giving them that space to grieve while also feeling gratitude for what has gone right, if that makes sense.

Krissy: 100%. Absolutely. There, we have so many complex feelings anyway in motherhood, but pregnancy and birth, it's something that you, you dream about. And I have friends [00:15:00] who have had C sections that have similar experiences where you're, you're, grieving and, and maybe we'll always feel this, this loss, even though of course you're overjoyed to have healthy babies and be healthy post pregnancy, but that memory isn't there and your experience isn't what you wanted or hoped or, or dreamed of.

And that's big.

Blair: Yeah, different. And I think another thing that in my mind with pregnancy and just snowballs in a way, is also that feeling of lack of control. So I think in pregnancy, our bodies are changing our hormones, like our minds, like everything is changing and we really, we can control what, what we can control, but a lot is out of our control. And I think that then you plan for this. birth experience. And if that doesn't go the way that you had hoped, you have postpartum, which is just a wild ride. You don't really know what's going to happen. So I think it's just a lot that women should be better prepared and better supported for that [00:16:00] transition.

Krissy: I agree. Yeah. And one, one of the tips that I got from somebody I know who had a C section was sure you're learning about unmedicated birth. You're learning about postpartum, you're learning about all these things. Learn about a C section. 

Learn about those and have a plan for what you might want and, and shared some unexpected experiences with me from that.

So that was great to be prepared in a way you're not prepared for any of it, but 

to at least have some knowledge,

Blair: Yeah, I couldn't agree more and that's why I actually have, I offer on my website just as a freebie like a birth wish list that I call a wish list and then a c section wish list and I encourage people to explore both because when you go into a c section, long as it's semi planned or not so rushed or emergent, that there's a lot that you really do have control over.

Like people were surprised in my c section I was able to, I think also it was helpful I I'm in the medical profession and felt very comfortable talking to the nurses and doctors, but I was [00:17:00] able to have my chest completely free, like no leads were on my chest so I could do skin to skin, the pulse ox that measures your oxygen and your blood was on my toe. I asked for that. They played whatever music I wanted. It was so beautiful. My husband was able to cut the cord like certain things like that, that still made it feel special. So there's a lot you can do still. And I think a lot of people aren't aware of that.

They feel like once they're in that situation, it's like, got to pass it off to the doctors and not always the case.

Krissy: right? It doesn't have to be. 100 percent medical still is about you as a person and your bond with your new baby. Yeah. So that's great. Definitely look for that resource. If you never know or have any friends who are expecting just subtly pass that on

and that will help.

Blair: And then my second birth experience was wildly different. So that whole birth, I still was like, God, I really want a VBAC. And I did so much research, which I think a lot of people, which I totally respect, [00:18:00] they say, they just want to like, leave it up to date and like do whatever their body's going to do and trust the professionals, which I think if that feels comfortable and empowering, then do that. For me, I wanted to know like anything and anything that could happen, and I think that was helpful.

So in the moment. I knew, or I guess right before I knew, like, was a chance of uterine rupture, but what actually is that chance? And what would warning signs be? And I talked about that with my medical team, because I wanted to be like, Fully prepared. And ultimately I just, I felt like knowledge was so powerful. And I was able to have an unmedicated VBAC and it was in the hospital and it was just everything I had dreams about from the time I became pregnant with my first, 

Krissy: that's amazing that you were able to have that experience and kudos to you for doing the research. There's so much that the doctors don't have enough time with us to really give us all this information. So going in with the background information is really important,

Blair: Yeah, yeah, I think so, too. I think so, too. And I think there's [00:19:00] also, there's no right way to do it. , I think some people are shocked when people opt for a repeat cesarean, and I always think and say, like, if that feels empowering and the right choice for you, that's, that's fine. Like, not only, like, that's okay, but that's great.

Like, 

Krissy: right? Totally

Blair: That's great. So yeah, I think, my experiences were very positive. I feel very grateful, but ultimately I just want to be able to support other women and just feeling confident in their experiences, their choices and in those, like feeling empowered with their choices.

Krissy: agree. Amazing. I'm so glad you're doing that. 

Now, 

Blair: Thank you 

Krissy: you tell me about your experience going from One child to two, on top of everything else that you were researching and planning and doing. That's a whole other thing that you now have to navigate after your first child.

Blair: Yeah, totally. From the second we had our firstborn, I don't know if other people are like this. We got home and I was like, I can't wait to have another. Like I, I've always felt like I was like, I want to have multiple kids. Like, I just, I was [00:20:00] like, I don't feel like our family like, I feel like we are starting our family, but we're nowhere near complete, is like that feeling. And my husband's like, well, one at a time, like, let's just like, get you healed from a major abdominal surgery. 

Krissy: right.

Blair: like figure out like newborn life. But I just, yeah, I think once we brought home our daughter, and we didn't know the genders of either of them too, so that was 

Krissy: Oh,

Blair: such a whirlwind, yeah. 

so when we brought her home

and so many feelings of, oh my gosh, I had an unmedicated VBAC, oh my gosh, it's a girl, and oh my gosh, we have two kids, so I feel like, That was almost the biggest thing for me.

I think like mentally and emotionally with the one to two was just like processing that whole experience 

and then Beyond that, I feel very grateful to say that it was a very smooth transition. And I'm not sure if it's my daughter. So she was a newborn. Her temperament [00:21:00] is so mellow. Like I didn't know something was wrong with her. So again, I feel like almost guilty saying that I know that's not everyone's experience, but it was really helpful because I could give my toddler attention while she would just sleep, next to us. 

Krissy: Right. 

Blair: and I

felt like. I don't know. I felt like it was smooth and I tried to also accept all the help whenever people offered it, again is something I know isn't for everyone, but for me, if someone is like, hey, do you want me to drop off lunch?

Yep. Like, I don't ask them. Are you sure? Like, yeah, offering, you're offering. And I think that helped make the transition smoother for sure. 

Krissy: That's great. Wow. What a great support system and way to lean into that. That's not, not everyone has that. That's, that's amazing.

Blair: no, yeah, I feel really, really grateful and I think one of the most challenging parts though with the one to two transition is not being able to hold your toddler and really give them that like really focused one on one attention. [00:22:00] And I feel like there were days that I would, I would want to pick him up and rock him. before bed or do certain things and I would and almost immediately I was like, Oh, physically, this is not what I should be doing right now. But then it's hard because he doesn't understand that he was just over two. And was really challenging, like wanting to be Everything for everyone.

Krissy: Yeah, that is the hardest. And one thing I wasn't prepared for was how old. My baby would feel at that point, right? He is not my baby anymore. I have another baby and now all of a sudden you're this like kid.

So, 

Blair: That was very

emotional. And like, yeah, like he would sing to our daughter or like just do little things and I was like, Oh my God, 

Krissy: right. 

Blair: just a whole, like everything just changed overnight kind of feeling.

Krissy: Yeah. Yeah. That coming home is just your whole world gets rocked upside down. What kinds of things did you do ahead of time with your toddler?

Blair: Oh, that's a [00:23:00] great question. I actually love doing all this stuff. So we read a lot of books. One of our favorite ones is how to be a big brother. But we also read a book. We love that. It's called. You were the first 

Krissy: Oh. 

Blair: all the I

have the chills again. It's really beautiful because it's not just talking.

It's not the focus isn't on like new baby is going to do this, new baby is going to need that. The focus is like you were the first to make us laugh and you were the first to sleep in the bassinet. And he loved that. And then as we read it, we would show him pictures. but that was really helpful, I think, in preparing him and also in preparing us. the other thing we did a lot of is we had a baby doll and we didn't force it. We just had it like mixed in with his toys and a little baby carrier. we had 

him whenever he

wanted, we like, would say like, do you want to try it? And he was so into it. And he would wear it around and we would just encourage like, Oh, like pat baby's back.

Like kind of translate or not like transfer the learning from the [00:24:00] book to real life. So, that was really helpful, I think, in just starting to get that, like, gentle empathy and then we also had him come to whatever appointments he could. So, 

Krissy: Oh. That was helpful

Oh. 

Blair: go to appointments and he was able to hold the Doppler on my belly and listen to Baby. Which was really helpful. And then just talking realistically about, baby's coming. This is where baby's gonna sleep and just like trying to walk through that. And then the number one biggest tip I would give to any parents welcoming a new baby, this is my favorite, is narrate what your bigger child is doing to the baby. And yes, of course, the baby doesn't know what is going on. The baby can't hear, but the Our son would be walking outside and he'd pick up a stick and I would say, wow, did you see, he just picked up that stick. And he would turn around with the biggest smile. And I would say, show, 

Krissy: Oh. 

Blair: show baby, 

And he would hold

it up.

And that I [00:25:00] think created more of a bond than a competition 

Krissy: Mm hmm.

Blair: and more of like, He was able to show things off, even if it was like, look, he's eating ice cream, like anything. It didn't 

Krissy: Right. 

Blair: nothing

elaborate, but that just watching the magic of that tip unfold was like, was mind blown.

Krissy: That's the sweetest. I love that. I, and the reading really is so impactful. We read the same Big Brother book every night and now anytime I have a friend who's expecting, I send them the Big Brother, the Big Sister, 

Book. And we would read it and instead of saying baby, we would try on all the different names to see how they felt that we were throwing around.

And the name that we ended up choosing, we'd only used a couple times with the book, but he remembered it and it just like, it was like such like a sweet moment when he said his name and we're like, Oh my gosh, I guess we did pick the right one. Cause you know, feel so, so new in those first few days.[00:26:00] 

But yeah,

I just love that.

Blair: sweet. 

Krissy: Right. 

Blair: that. 

Krissy: Right. Brings back all the feels. Right. 

So you mentioned earlier something about mindful parenting and how that is coming into your parenting. Can you talk more about that? 

Blair: Yeah. I, I was thinking about it actually today. I was having just a hard time. My little one who's sick right now was just crawling all over me. And in that moment I felt so, I think we all know that feeling like so touched out. I'm like, we just need a minute, but I can't have a minute. I have a dog who needs to be walked and two kids.

So in that moment, I actually use strategies that I teach my son. So we actually have this weighted turtle and I had a comfortable seat. I like sat on the couch. I put the turtle over my lap and literally just that helped me be then more present and mindful. And I think like mindfulness to some people feel very overwhelming.

And I [00:27:00] think what I want to teach people is it can be as simple as that, as just feeling more present and also recognizing what you need when you need it. I think in that moment, it was like, I, I can't change this. This is what's happening. She's sick and she needs me. So what can I do to meet my needs? And for me, that deep pressure proprioception from the weighted, turtle me feel calm so that then I could be more present for them. And it, it really works, which is like, it seems so simple, but it can be so simple. So I think for me, Mindful parenting isn't so much of, I think what you see sometimes of these like beautiful quotes, like, yes, of course it can be that, but I think it also can be just recognizing what you need in the moment, meeting that needs so that you can then feel more present and more connected to what's happening around you.

Krissy: Yes, I agree. I try to build in these little mindful breaks in my day. Like when I'm [00:28:00] filling my water bottle, I will take the minute to breathe or

the few, just a few seconds. I'm doing that a few times a day anyway. And like, where am I at? But also in those moments where you're freaking out and crawling out of your skin, like I try to think what is one thing I can remove from this situation, right?

I can't get this baby's hand out of my shirt, but without him screaming, but I can turn the music off. And, and that helps, right? Just for me, taking something away is really helpful or getting up and washing my face or even washing my hands. 

is is really helpful for me.

Blair: Yeah, absolutely. And those little things make a difference. Like I noticed if my toddler is really, Really going for it, really having a challenging moment. And we just step outside, like, let's just change the environment. And I noticed that then we're able to think, that's another thing that I love to do is just get outside and then we'll say like, instantly calm down. And then I can say like, what do you hear? What [00:29:00] do you see? And just those little moments, those little. Like phrases to help bring you back to the present moment, it's not just helpful for them, but it's so helpful for us. So I think just finding ways in the mundane routine to really feel connected to what's around you and what's happening is just, so helpful in feeling more calm and feeling more grounded. 

Krissy: Yeah. the getting outside thing is so tricky for me right now because my three year old is in his anti clothes phase.

And of course, so my 20 month old is too, because they're, the same person and that way. And like I, the other day I was just, I hadn't been out in a couple of days really getting out, we've gone out, but.

I didn't get for a walk or anything, and he just wouldn't put pants on. And I, I finally said, I just want to go outside. Like, that's all. I just want to go for a walk. And I got up and, did my face washing and my hand washing and like, just kind of like had some cool water on my body. Like, and I said, [00:30:00] you don't actually need to go for a walk.

To meet this need like it's not the walk that you are. Of course, I did want to because I was hoping to see my neighbors and talk to them for a minute, but just the act of going out in the back deck. They don't need pants to go out in the backyard. We could go do that. And that really made a difference reframing it.

So it's not always. The break that you want, but, but look for what you can access. That's been helpful.

Blair: Absolutely. And what you can control too. 

Krissy: Right. 

Blair: that's, that's such a good

shift. Like it doesn't have to be an elaborate plan. It, I don't know, like whatever, whatever is accessible and smoother, like go for it. And getting outside can really be just opening the door and like sticking your head out and just taking a deep breath.

Krissy: Right. What a good point. Yes. Just standing outside by myself for a second. Like there'll be fine. It

doesn't matter.

Blair: Yes.

Krissy: that. 

Blair: that.

a lot. I open the door and then my little one crawls after me and my toddler, same thing, like half naked runs out [00:31:00] and he's like, we're going to be outside. I'm like, okay, sure. And we just, know, move whatever we're doing out there. And I think, I just, I think the spontaneity of it too, just helps a lot for me, like that things aren't so routine and planned. And it helps them. It really does.

Krissy: Right. It really does. You see a huge mood shift, like the second the air hits. So I love that. Just go outside by yourself. They'll come or they won't, 

and it will be fine. 

Blair: Yep. 

Krissy: So you are working to make mindfulness more accessible to moms through some of your new developments. Can you tell me about what you're, what you're working on?

Blair: Yeah, so, I'm trying to also make the shift. I think a lot of people think of mindfulness and meditation, they kind of group it, which is very intimidating for people. So, I'm really trying to help people focus on mindful movement, which is my fun way of saying yoga moves, but also just mindful movement in your daily life.

So, any time you go to pick up your child what are you doing? What's your body [00:32:00] telling you? Is something hurting and how can we improve that? And just ways to feel more grounded and connected in your daily life. And also then coupling that with the. The traditional mindfulness aspect of what can we do during our routines?

Like you said, filling your water. I love that. So if you're doing laundry, what can you do? Is it maybe that you take a second just to hold that warm towel or you help your, your little ones help you with the laundry and it becomes maybe an activity. Or I think laundry is always helpful, but with vacuuming, like I love vacuuming.

Cause I love seeing the lines on the carpet. And just taking the extra second to notice and appreciate some of those things that make you feel like, Oh, I think that's a big part of mindfulness that people miss.

Krissy: Yeah, I definitely agree. Like it doesn't, you don't need to have a yoga practice. You don't need to do yoga to benefit from doing a quick cat cow or something like that. So, yeah, getting your head [00:33:00] out of, I have to be sitting in a quiet room to do my meditation, to, to be mindful is, is really

a big shift for a lot

Blair: it anywhere. I, the other day, the other day during my toddler was getting ready for nap time. My baby crawls all over his room. He loves it or she loves it. And I just laid on the floor and closed my eyes and did a nice goalpost stretch and I just took a few deep breaths. And I'm like, that's what I want to show parents is. That is mindfulness and that's being gentle with your body. And I'm hoping that from working on creating some recorded programs for my website, so people can then access them whenever works for them. And I'm going to try to keep them very short and sweet, like mostly 10 minutes and under, maybe 15 minutes. So there's going to be different things for toddler yoga, for busy parents, for mommy and me yoga. So all of those things, but really with very accessible. Okay. movements in them. I also, I'm really excited to work. I'm going to do some mindfulness meditations, like guided [00:34:00] meditations maybe if you're just having a tough day and you have five minutes, you play it and it's just some affirmations or some gentle reminders to help you feel good and calm during your day when you're having a hard time.

Yeah.

Krissy: important because like we have nobody to turn to when we're in the thick of it. You can't pick up your phone and text or call somebody necessarily, but you could pop it in earbud and listen to something because that's not necessarily a two way engagement.

So that's 

Blair: exactly.

Krissy: I love that. Now, one thing that you have around you is this big network of friends and family who are having kids at the same time with you. So you have all of these unique experiences of seeing different parenting styles and I'm sure that that's really helped you reaffirm how powerful mindfulness is and things like that.

Can you tell me about that experience of, of parenting with so many people at the same time?

Blair: Yeah, I think it's [00:35:00] really helpful and also can be really challenging. And I think that especially now, I think now that my toddler's three, we just hit more of like a challenging period and I think that whose children are younger and maybe haven't quite gotten there yet It's hard to not feel, even if they're my closest, dearest friends that I love, it's hard not to feel that judgment. then at the same time, there's some friends who will be like, wow, that was interesting how you did that. I'm going to like keep that in my back pocket for later. So I think ultimately it's really cool to parent with people that you love and trust and feel like you can talk to about those things. And also it's just a reminder that the way you parent is going to be different from the person. to you or even your very closest friend because you're different and your children are different. So I think that's been a really important message for me of like Yes, this works for someone and i'm trying it and it's not working for us and that's okay It doesn't mean that it's [00:36:00] not a good technique or it's not going to work for someone else And I think that's lesson to learn in general that every every situation is different And I think that's been like very powerful to see

Krissy: Really? I, it's funny because everybody has different challenges. All kids have, and you don't know what people have tried. You don't know what they're working on. So I, I, it irks me the most when I'm talking about a challenge I'm having and somebody gives me an obvious solution. Like, You don't think I've tried that?

Like, 

this is an extreme, but my kids are climbers and they were climbing up at my dad's house and he goes. We'll maybe just tell them not to climb. 

Blair: You're like, Oh, 

Krissy: Oh, thanks for that gem. I'll definitely be working on that one with them. But yeah, that's, it just goes to show, like, you've no idea what the other person's going through.

So instead of judging what they're going through, like, my sister and I, we just send each other that melty face emoji all the time. Like, yep. 

Blair: Yes. [00:37:00] 

Krissy: Like, good luck.

Solidarity.

Blair: That's how my sister and I are too. And she'll, and she'll say like, yeah. She'll be like, I've been there. It's okay. It's normal. I'm like, okay, thank you. I just needed to hear that. I think that's been one of the most challenging things though in general. And I, I love, I think we've got really wonderful families that are very supportive, but to be honest, I think that when you're sitting around this dinner table and something comes up and someone says like, Oh, Hey, just like you said, like, have you tried this?

Have you tried that? And it's, it's hard not to get that, like, Ooh, like not to feel that. And I think ultimately I try to remember like they're trying to help. They don't know what you've been through. And I think also that mentality. helps feeling mindful in those moments. And I also learned that it's okay to say like, not working, but thank you.

Like, it's okay to shut it down. If that's protecting your mental health 

Krissy: Right. 

Blair: that you need right 

now.

Krissy: Right. Yeah. We'll sometimes say to each other things like, I'm not looking for suggestions, but thank you. I just want to [00:38:00] vent.

Blair: Yes. Yes. I think I've also while parenting with other friends and siblings very closely I think I've also learned how to approach that to say sometimes like do you want advice or do you just want me to listen? and I think that's been helpful too because sometimes Someone tells you something and you're like, oh try this try that and sometimes you're like I just like I just want to get it out.

 I don't want to fix it. I just want someone to listen.

Krissy: Agreed. Yes, that's, that's, I think the key to a successful friendship is being able to say that to somebody. 

Blair: totally. 

Krissy: One of the things that I really like to do is share our go to activities, right? To help support other moms in their parenting, to get through a hard time. We all need that, like, one thing that you can go to when you just, need to maybe go to the bathroom or make a cup of coffee or, or just get the kids out of your hair.

So you can have that mindful moment. What is your go to low prep, easy activity that you can share with our [00:39:00] friends here listening today?

Blair: Yeah, absolutely. So one of my favorite activities that I feel like anyone can do anywhere, as long as there is a kitchen Go in the kitchen, grab a few bowls, preferably not glass, just so you're not worried. So like stainless steel ones make great noises that the kids love. And you can grab a few spoons, or if you want to get fancy, you can grab some ladles, and just let them go crazy with that.

They don't even need an object to transfer. So if you want to like, Take it up a notch. You can then grab anything like we like doing and looking at our little craft table, we like doing like large pom poms. 

Krissy: Me too.

Blair: keep, they're so, so helpful that you can do so many things with them. So you can just do that.

And for my toddler, he loves scooping the pom poms and putting them in and out of containers, like cups. 

Krissy: Yep. 

Blair: then 

my little one, if

you put the pom poms in a whisk, it's so good to take them out and it'll keep her so busy. And then obviously OT wise, it [00:40:00] works on that pincer grasp and it works on. So many different other things that I won't get too nerdy, but it's a really good activity. And I have noticed that even if we're on vacation and we're like, oh, they don't even want the toys that we've packed. We just go in the kitchen and we grab a few bowls, even like plastic containers whatever we can find, you just put in that. And even if you go outside and collect sticks or leaves, and then that's what they're transferring.

Like it's just such a low prep activity that has so many possibilities 

Krissy: that's one of my favorites too, especially if they have a lid. If you have a lid that makes, and we save like, I save. I'm a hoarder for like recycling. I have so many berry containers. I have this cupcake container that's survived for a long time now. And what's the other thing? I need to go container.

And they put them in there. But like, we just went to a friend's house and that's what I brought was the giant pom poms and a bunch of kitchen tools because I knew that they would have fun with that. Right. And one of my favorite things to do with that too is I keep a bucket of all the random toys that [00:41:00] don't necessarily have a home, like the figures or the, the pieces that go to like a ring stacker that's missing.

And then the, that becomes my loose parts and that can become a soup too, right? Mixing all of those things.

Blair: Yes. Like it doesn't have to be complicated. And if it's nice out, if it's like warmer than you, what we did like yesterday is we just put ice cubes in a bowl, just one little bowl and ice cubes, that's it. And they both played for so long. And my toddler ended up. Yeah. Seeing how he could throw them to break them into many little pieces and then my baby was trying to pick up the pieces. it's just, it's so simple. And for us, we're like, Oh, is that enough to keep them busy? Just try it. Just try it and see. You never know. Usually, yes.

Krissy: posted about the ice today because the exact same thing happened to me at the park today. We were just out, I had a picnic blanket, I had an iced coffee and it was gone. And we were running around and I turned around and the 20 month old had dumped out all the ice and was like, putting it back in [00:42:00] and letting it melt.

And I was like, yes, a sensory bin from an iced coffee. This is the.

Best,

Blair: Like, it's free. It's easy. It's pretty easy to clean up. It's just water.

Krissy: right? Yeah, it made difference to me, but wow, like I didn't have to bring anything. And I got to drink a coffee like 

this is a win, win, win. This was amazing,

Blair: That's so awesome. And when you're in nature, there's so much to do too. I was thinking with fall coming up, another super easy low prep activity is when you just go for a walk and let them touch whatever they see, like bushes. And obviously I make sure first there's no poison ivy or anything, but I let them touch it.

And then as the leaves get crunchy, we'll also Play with those and just talk about the changing seasons. So then it's like a cool activity that way. But another one good for fall coming up.

Krissy: right? I usually let them pick like one leaf and that's like a special thing for them when we're on a walk. Like you can pick one leaf while we're out. And like today it was a big hosta leaf, like whenever it wasn't mine, it was in [00:43:00] public, but. The haspa didn't need that one leaf. It was fine. And it was like the coolest thing.

Like I have my leaf. 

Blair: That's awesome. I love that. I love that. It makes it so special. And it also was like just choosing one, like it's. I don't know. It's a good lesson to like a bigger lesson in this in this crazy world.

Krissy: yes, we do that at Home Depot too. They get to pick out a color. So, we go to the paint and, and, and like what's your color gonna be today? And then they have it and they look at it on the way home. And 

yeah, it's, it's fun. 

Blair: that. 

Krissy: It's like they just got a prize. Like it, I could, it might as well have bought them like a hundred dollar toy.

This is the most exciting thing. 

Blair: going to do that. Thank you. That's such a good idea. 

Krissy: Absolutely do it. So as moms, we have a lot of knowledge. We have a lot of experiences that we use once, maybe twice, maybe a few times, but then it fizzles away because again, we're not really sharing them with all of our family. friends because everybody parents differently.

Everyone has a different experience. So sticky, but this is a really good [00:44:00] opportunity for us to feel like experts and share some of that knowledge. So I have a question from Reddit that I would love to get your take on. And I think you have some interesting background on this. So the question is, are 14 month old started screaming, crying, twisting, turning, and pulling away during diaper changes.

No matter what we do, at least half the time, it turns into a huge battle that he needs settled after. Is it too early to potty train? And is this normal? He never used to mind it.

Blair: I love this. Okay, so a first more traditional response that I would say is to try it 14 months standing change. So if your baby is able to stand even with support, you can then do literally you like put the diaper on and just strap it on. It might not be perfect. It's usually great. You also at that age can usually change to more of like a pull up style diaper. So standing changes can be really [00:45:00] helpful and they can be standing, playing with a toy and standing like a spinner. one thing. Another option that I love is no, it's not too early to potty train. I've heard some professionals say, Not from my field that kids can't potty train until I don't know what they say like three.

They can't hold it actually not true. So I do something called elimination communication with my kids and Basically starting at birth we hold them over the potty and we start learning their cues So when like tonight at dinner my baby looked at my husband and went and I was like, she's got a poop So we took her to the potty and she pooped And it's 

like, so she's 13 months now. It's really cool. And I've learned that it doesn't feel to some people are like, but are you pushing it? Is it forcing it? And really all it's doing is we're learning their natural rhythms and then giving them the opportunity to void on the toilet. And what we find is that when we're doing it, [00:46:00] then they're more likely to wait for that opportunity. So at 14 months, if your baby seems like, Maybe they're ready or they're showing signs or they're pulling out their diaper or They just seem uncomfortable in a wet diaper. Absolutely put them on the potty and We love the baby bjorn potty. It has the high back. She so comfortable on it. We've used it since birth and then With that, so that's like her spot where she'll go. And my best advice with that, if you're like, I want to try it, it's do it during transition times. So you first wake up in the morning after the first feed, that's like. Almost a guaranteed catch a catch is what you call it. 

Krissy: Okay. 

Blair: put her on the potty and

she'll always at least see. then before and after meals, before and after nap before and after, like being out, on the go, but we don't do all those times.

We're not, We're busy and we miss things, but when you can do it and like, if they can go, then like, they'll probably be more [00:47:00] comfortable. It's a less one less dirty diaper for you. So I say go for it.

Krissy: I love that. I started researching into elimination communication when my young, my older one was I don't even remember it was in the winter time and he was less than one. And I was like, we're inside all the time. Anyway, let's give this a go. Let's give this a try. And then I got pregnant and I was exhausted and it just like, it was not for us.

But I, I, the research that I did from it. It's amazing seeing some of these babies, what they can do and then 

learning the cues and kudos to you for doing it 

with both kids.

Blair: you. Thank you. It's fun. And I think what I also tell people is like, you don't have to do anything full time. Like, I think when I first learned about it, I was like, how am I going to do it full time? Okay. So we'll keep a potty in the car. And then I learned as we fell into our own rhythm that I can, so we also like cloth diapering and I was like, I want to do full time.

And then I was like, you know what? I can part time elimination [00:48:00] communication and part time cloth diaper and part time disposable. Like it doesn't have to be a hard and fast, any of the ways.

Krissy: Yeah, nothing is all or nothing and nothing is something you can't change your mind on later.

Blair: Yeah. And that's okay. Like, I think sometimes feel like, Oh, we said we're going to do something and we get external pressure of like, are you really going to cloth diaper? I got a lot of that. And so I almost felt like, well, now I need to prove it. Like we have to cloth diaper 

and I love cloth diapering.

But with our second baby, I was like, Hmm, I have a lot of laundry to do. Like we don't do it as much now we're doing it more because she's going on the potty more, but yeah, it's like, you have to do what works for you. And it's just the cool options I think be aware of.

Krissy: I love that. And I want to add if you for this parent, if you're just out in public and your kids screaming and like a changing diaper isn't going to work, don't be afraid to just give them your phone and put on this Rachel and let them sit there for a minute because it's not going to do any harm and you can save some of your sanity for all of the other things that are going on and and, and [00:49:00] just make it happen.

Like there's no shame in that.

Blair: Yes, I totally agree. Especially when you're out in public and there's like that heightened sense of like, don't know, anxiety and nerves and stress. Like, it's okay. My daughter loves, on the back of my phone, I have a little pop, pop it, pop socket thingy. And she loves playing with it. And sometimes I'm like, okay, you can play with it.

Krissy: Right. I know the first time I handed my kid my phone to do like a in the back of the van diaper change. I, one of my friends who had a kid who was I think two years older than mine, I instantly was like, I don't do this for every diaper change. Like I was so ashamed. I felt so much shame in it, but, but we're all just doing our best and we're all just doing what we can and we're not going to harm our kid.

Yeah.

Blair: No, it's okay. And I always think too, like, just by worrying and just by caring, you're a great 

Krissy: I

Blair: parent. Like, just that extra, like, oh, what are people going to think? You're, you're doing amazing. Like, just worrying. Like, you're such a good parent, 

Krissy: [00:50:00] totally agree. Right. 

I think that's a really great message that you share a lot too, is, is that you are the best parent for your kid. I, I see that you post that and you say that a lot and it, it really hits home with a lot of people. I think it's an important message.

Blair: Good. I hope so. I hope so. I think there's just so much comparison, especially with social media and it's like you just, you are the best person for your kid. You're the best parent. You're the best guide. It's, it's just, your child was meant to be yours and you're meant to be their parent.

And I think that's just so important to keep in mind.

Krissy: Agreed. I feel like I could talk to you all day, Blair. I really do. This has been such a really great conversation. Can you pitch your social media? Where can people find you and spend more time listening to you and what you have to add?

Blair: Yes, yes, yes. So I, my handle on social media on Instagram and Facebook. And TikTok, although I'm not very active on TikTok, is birthandbalance underscore OT. And on [00:51:00] there, you'll find I share all sorts of support for maternal health. So maternal health occupational therapy is what I do. So I share a lot of supports for moms, also for dads. And also I mix in some child development tips, mostly in my stories and some mindful movement. So you'll be able to learn a lot of helpful tips for parenting, also just support and inspiration and then I also have a website. It's birthandbalanceot. com. there, you'll find all my freebies and resources.

You can find ways to work with me directly one on one. I have a few services I offer on there. And soon, I'm going to have those recorded classes uploaded on there. So you can subscribe and have access to all of them. yeah.

Krissy: Awesome. So you're a treasure trove of resources here. I'm so glad to be able to share this with, with people who might be listening. If you'd like to share your story, please reach out to me, boldlittlemindsatgmail. com. I would love to share your story with the world. You can find me on social [00:52:00] media. I primarily post on Instagram, but I'm also on Tik TOK, YouTube, Pinterest, all the things at bold little minds.

Please be sure to subscribe on whatever channel you're listening to this on and share with your friends. If you could leave a quick rating and review, that goes a long way for helping me reach other moms. It doesn't have to be a long review. You could just write it. I liked it. And that would go a long way.

Thank you so much for tuning in and listening today. I hope that you've enjoyed it and we will see you next time.

Mhm.

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
Previous

Attachment Parenting, Play Based Learning, and Starting Again After Solo Parenting: Callie’s Story
Next

Infertility, Miscarriage, & Funding IVF with Cookies: Natalie’s Story