Lessons in Parenting From a Mom Who Survived a Cat 5 Hurricane with Tara Pyfrom (E26)

Mom's Guide to Finding Herself
Written By Mom Identity Project

Ever feel like you're at your breaking point, like you can't handle one more thing? You're not alone. In this episode of the "Mom's Guide to Finding Herself" podcast, we share an incredible story of survival and resilience from Tara Pyfrom, a mom who faced the unimaginable and discovered strength she never knew she possessed. This episode is for any mom who feels overwhelmed, exhausted, and like she's just not cut out for motherhood. Tara's journey will inspire you and remind you that you are so much stronger than you think.

The Overwhelming Moments (We've All Been There):

We've all had those days – the kids are sick, the meltdowns are non-stop, and you're running on fumes. You might even find yourself hiding in the bathroom for a few minutes of peace, wondering if you're doing anything right. These moments can leave you questioning every decision you've ever made and feeling like you're barely keeping your head above water. It's in these times that we desperately need a reminder of our inner strength and our capacity to overcome even the biggest challenges.

Tara's Unimaginable Journey (A Story of Resilience):

Tara, a mom to an 11-year-old girl, was born and raised in the Bahamas. Her life took an unimaginable turn when she found herself trapped in her attic with her family during Hurricane Dorian, the strongest hurricane ever recorded in the Bahamas. With 185 mile-per-hour winds and 20-30 feet of storm surge, her family had to swim through their flooded home just to reach the attic, which wasn't even a livable space. For 24 terrifying hours, they were trapped with no electricity, no light, and no escape, terrified that the rising water would drown them or that the roof would be ripped away. They were eventually rescued, but the experience left a lasting impact.

Before the Storm: Building a Life:

Before becoming a mom, Tara grew up on a small island in the Bahamas. She moved to a larger island and worked in office administration before meeting her wife. They married in Vermont in 2010 and began building their life together. They always knew they wanted a family and decided to adopt their daughter in 2013. The adoption process was long and introspective, requiring them to answer deep questions about their motivations and parenting styles.

Early Days of Parenting: Navigating the Unknown:

The early days of parenting were incredibly exhausting, with a colicky baby who struggled to sleep or eat well. Tara experienced anxiety and self-doubt, constantly questioning if she was doing everything right. With family on other islands, she relied heavily on a supportive circle of friends to help her through those challenging early days. Eventually, her daughter started sleeping through the night, and their family found a rhythm of beach trips and travel.

Finding Strength in the Face of Disaster (It's Within All of Us):

Tara's story isn't just about surviving a natural disaster; it's about finding a wellspring of strength you never knew you had. Her experience is a powerful reminder that even when we feel completely overwhelmed and at our limit, we have an incredible capacity to rise to whatever challenges life throws our way. As moms, we're constantly navigating difficult situations, and Tara's story demonstrates the incredible resilience and strength we all possess. She notes that communicating clearly with her daughter, even from a young age, helped her develop her own voice and independence.

The Importance of Sharing Your Story (It's Healing):

Tara's story highlights the power of storytelling to process trauma and reconnect with yourself. Her journey, from the Bahamas to Canada, and from a survivor to a published author, shows us that there is always hope for transformation and rediscovering who you are. Tara's book, "The Ocean in Our Blood," is available for pre-order at www.tarapyfrom.com

What's Next? (Don't Miss It!):

In the next episode, Tara continues her story and shares how she used storytelling to process her trauma and reclaim her identity.

Keywords: Mom Identity, Motherhood Journey, Rediscovering Yourself, Mom Support, Parenting Tips, Hurricane Survival, Resilience, Inner Strength, Share Your Story, Adoption, Trauma, Natural Disaster, Overwhelmed, Exhausted, Motherhood Challenges, Postpartum Resilience, Finding Hope, Strength in Motherhood, Inspiration.

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For Your Binging Enjoyment…

26 Video

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[00:00:00] Every mom has had moments where you think what else could go wrong? And it feels like everything is just piling up against you. Well, in this episode, you can listen in on my conversation with an amazing mom who shares her story of survival through the most extreme of circumstances.

This is one you won't want to miss

Welcome to Mom's Guide to Finding Herself, where we share stories of side hustles and surviving while parenting young children. I'm your host, Krissy Bold. Let's make motherhood less lonely and help you find joy in being you again.

You know those moments as a parent when you feel like you can't possibly handle, like, even one more thing?

I have those days. Often. I mean, just the other day, my kids were sick, my three year old had been up since, like, 1 a. m. He woke up with these night terrors, and then the other one woke up, and then And I just didn't know how I could possibly make it through the day. I was so, so, so exhausted. I remember sitting there thinking, [00:01:00] I am not cut out for this, and I bet you've been there too, right?

Maybe you're there right now listening. to this while you're hiding in your bathroom for just five minutes of peace, or maybe you're driving and still thinking about that morning meltdown that happened. You know, could be yours or your kids. No judgment here, right? We all have those moments where parenting feels completely overwhelming. Where we might question. Every decision we're making and wonder if we're doing any of this right. And that's exactly why I am so excited about today's episode.

Because sometimes we need a reminder that we are so much stronger than we think we are. That even when it feels like we're barely keeping our heads above water, we have this incredible capacity to rise to whatever challenges are coming our way. Today I'm talking with Tara Pyfrom Tara is a mom to an 11 year old girl and three dachshunds.

She was born and raised in the Bahamas. Tara's parenting journey took an unimaginable turn when she [00:02:00] found herself trapped in her attic with her family during Hurricane Dorian, the strongest hurricane ever recorded in the Bahamas. Since then, she's moved to New Brunswick, Canada, and is now a published author and freelance writer.

Her story isn't just about surviving a natural disaster. It's about finding the strength you never knew you had. I think that's something that every parent can relate to. You can read more about her story and her memoir, The Ocean in Our Blood, but I am so excited to share with you her journey to motherhood and a peek into this experience that she had today.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Thank you so much for being here with us today, Tara.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: so much for having me.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: I'm so excited. Your, your story is just amazing. You've been through a lot and you've come out with some amazing things that you've created from it, and, and I just, I, I can't wait to dive into. Each individual aspect, like all of it, I am so excited for. So let's start at the beginning with your story. Who were you before [00:03:00] becoming a mom?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: So I was born and raised in the islands of the Bahamas.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: my family goes back eight, nine generations. We're all island people. So very interesting, unique upbringing. Grew up on a really tiny island before, you know, growing up a bit and deciding that the tiny island was too tiny.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Moved to a larger island with a bigger city and was working in office administration.

So as an administrative assistant for a lot of years Never had any training in that, just kind of what I fell into out of high school. And ended up working in lots of legal offices and other office situations, managing offices. And and then my wife and I met in 2007. And we, you know, started building our life together.

Got married in 2010.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah,

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Vermont, as it happens, because that was one of the places that we could get married at that point.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: sure. Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: And we're just, you know, building up a wonderful life together.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh, that's awesome. That's [00:04:00] so great. And I have, I had a short, like, I feel like dating span like that. I feel like three years is pretty short

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: I think.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: you, but when you know, you know,

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Exactly.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: and it's great, it's wonderful. So I'm so glad you found that. And how fun to, I mean, how horrible you had to leave your country to get married, but like, you have a nice story in Vermont and I feel like that's a good place to have memories made for sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: you when you live on the beach, you go to the mountains.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yes, that's what they say, right? Was growing up in the Bahamas like you would imagine, where it's like kind of Moana, where you're like getting seashells and all these cute things, or was it just like, you know, life is life wherever you are?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: you are not the first person that has compared my growing up in the Bahamas to Moana, and it's not that far off.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh, wow! Right. Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: not, you know, the the, the, the thatch huts kind of situation, but lots of ocean, lots of beach, lots of ocean activities. You know, the kids are swimming in the ocean alone all the time [00:05:00] because that's just what we do for fun.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow, I know. I feel like this is the phase of parenting that I'm in right now. You can tell we watch a lot of it.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: I mean, it's either that or Frozen, so that's my life right now.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: heh.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: So tell me, how did you know you were ready to start your family and become a mom?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: My, my wife and I started talking about it very early on. It was something that was always something that I wanted to be a part of my life. I wanted to be a mom. At one point in my, you know, teenage early adult years, I'm going to have three kids.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh, yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: we, we settled on one

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: kid. Kids are expensive.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah, yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: but yeah, just lots of conversations back and forth between us and, and that we did want to have a family.

And that was important to us.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: That's great. And, and so you made that happen. So tell me about your process a little bit about how you, how your daughter came into your life.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: So we decided that for us, adoption was the best option. And so we, we went through that entire process and then the, the process of [00:06:00] adopting is, is quite different from the process of, you know, male and female decide that they're going to have a baby. Sometimes that takes a little bit more work for some people than others.

And you, nine months later, you have a baby. For us, it was a longer process, lots of paperwork.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: much paperwork and home visits and things to make sure that we were going to be stable parents. All of those things.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: and and so we adopted our daughter in in 2013 and she came to us as a day old infant.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh, so special. Oh, wonderful. I'm so glad that that process, I'm sure it was a roller coaster of emotions to get there and try to figure out. And probably even during the process, like, are we sure we want to do this? Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: I have, I have 20 pages of questions that I need to answer in order to be deemed suitable to adopt a child. And a very introspective process. They want to know why you want to have a kid and how, how your life how your upbringing is going to impact, impact your [00:07:00] parenting skills.

And, like, all of this very deep stuff that you I would, I just want to have a baby. I haven't really given too much thought to how I'm going to raise the baby yet. So a lot of, a lot of communicating with my wife and I on about how we're going to parent and, and yeah, all of the hoops that we had to jump through to accomplish it.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Definitely, and I'm sure there was a lot of self doubt in there as you're evaluating these really deep, introspective questions, thinking, Wait a minute, maybe I shouldn't be a mom.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes, a lot of that and, and of course, no two people are identical, right?

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: my, my perspective on the entire process was a little bit different than my wife's perspective on the entire process. And so finding the middle ground and coming together on that there were a lot of emotions surrounding that as well.

Mm

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: of preparing for a baby for anyone who's, who's birthing a child, a lot of that pre preparation is about like the birth, the actual like pregnancy and labor and then they have a baby and they have like, it's, I did not prepare for this at all. [00:08:00] This part of it. Did you find that any of this paperwork led you to feel more prepared for having a baby?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Absolutely not. No, absolutely

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: us our process of adopting, you know, you, when you, when you get pregnant, nine, roughly nine months from now, a baby's going to arrive.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: with our process, there was a much smaller window of,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: The baby's here,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: And so we, we actually

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: quite unaware.

And so we didn't have the, we didn't have the nursery ready. And here's the baby. And now this, you, you're responsible now. Off you go. so

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yep.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: and kind of struggling to, okay, what do we, what do we do with the baby now that we've got it?

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right. Right. Because you probably had no idea like when this whole process would be over, you're doing all this paperwork, but that's, and it's, that's a whole different thing in itself. That's not baby prep. That's administrative.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Exactly.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: So then, yeah, once you're, once you're submitted, you have to take a deep [00:09:00] breath and then all of a sudden it's like, here you go.

Good luck.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh my goodness. So tell me what your early days of parenting were like. What was this transition like for you?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: It was exhausting. Having a brand new infant is exhausting in ways that you didn't possibly think you could be exhausted. So much joy, so much laughter, but at the same time, you know, I'm up five and six times a night and then I need to be present during the day because she's awake during the day as

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: so, a lot of, a lot of physically managing the process of being a parent. Our daughter was very colicky. She didn't sleep well. She didn't feed well. A lot of tears, a lot of nights where you just, I just, I can't do this. I, I have to do this, but I just can't do this. So it was, it was very much a roller coaster of ups and downs for the first 11 months, almost year of her life before she kind of settled [00:10:00] into eating solid food, which

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: everything.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Sure. Yeah. Wow. I know having a baby who, who's not a good sleeper and cried a lot too, like that transition to motherhood, you're like, why do people do this? Right. Right. Like, how do people,

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: to be able to handle it, but I really can't.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: I know, right. Did you find having any sort of like post baby anxiety or anything like that come about? Oh yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: of, lots of anxiety, lots of, of, of self doubt, and am I doing this right? Everything I'm trying is not making the, she's, she's, she's suffering, she's hurting, I can't, I can't help, why can't I help? A lot of, a lot of that.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow. Do you have family that was close by at the time?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: We did have some family. They weren't terribly close by. The Bahamas is a bunch of islands.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: no, you know, get in the car and go to grandma's house because grandma lives on another island and you

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: to do that. So we had, we had a good circle of friends who had had [00:11:00] children before.

And so there was a lot of, well, try this or try that. I'm going to come by and just look after the baby for an hour so you can sleep.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: which was super helpful. Okay.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: And when you say get on a plane, you, you, it's not like what a lot of people are doing with their kids going on like a Delta airline. Like, this isn't a jetliner that people are going on.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: no, no. A lot of the most of the flights that fly between the islands and the Bahamas are dual prop airplanes. In some cases it's a small, like, ten seater aircraft. I've been flying on tiny planes my entire life, so it's not a big deal to me, but for someone who's, okay, only ever been on those giant Delta airline flights, it's kind of scary to be on a little, you know, six, ten seater aircraft.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right. Now, I mean, for somebody like me, it's terrifying to think about. I've only been on a small plane maybe once, and like, it was scary. But for you, obviously, it was much different, more, you had more confidence in it. But what about with a brand new baby? Did that change your perspective at all?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: It [00:12:00] really didn't, it was just,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: of

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: It's a way I was

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Good.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: up. Our daughter has been, was on her first airplane at a month old and we didn't stop.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah. Because I know, like, even driving in the car was terrifying for me with a baby all of a sudden. Like, everybody, you need to slow down. You don't understand.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: no, the car seat, did I, did I put it in right? I

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: I think I put it in right. It's, wait, it's moving. Is it supposed to move? All of those things.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: All of them, right? Yes. Oh my gosh. So yes, my heart goes out to you with already having some anxiety about having a new baby to have to to travel, like actually travel in a plane to go see family members, if that's what you're going to do. Oh my gosh. So you, after a year, sounds like you finally started to get into routine and feel more rested and more like yourself again.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes, yeah, she, she, I think the first time she slept through the night, she was 11 months old. After we switched over from, from formula to cereal and then cereal to baby food, then it was filling [00:13:00] her stomach and she wasn't as colicky. And so then we were getting six, eight hours of sleep at night. So it was much more manageable once you get your sleep.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh, that, yes, definitely, when you, because it's different, you think when you're preparing for a baby that the sleepless nights you can handle, and you're like, I've done that before, I've gone through a sleepless night, but you don't realize you're not going to be able to sleep the whole day the next day, or,

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: I'll sleep better, you know, tomorrow night, except you're doing that for months at a time.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: months, yes, and you then, and at the moment there's no end in sight, like I'm still in it, where I'm like, I'm getting like four hours some nights, and it's just, you get used to it, though,

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yeah,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: you figure it out.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: your body

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yep.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: function on four hours of sleep

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: never could before.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yes, coffee I'm sure helps.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: So we're lucky to have those things. Now what was your routine like once you had her in more of a manageable state?

What kinds of things were you doing with your family?[00:14:00]

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: So we, we would go to the beach a lot. Our, we had our infant in the ocean at three months old. That was just, again, part of our upbringing in the way that, that we grew up. The ocean is a part of who we are. And so our little three month old had her little baby bikini and we were, we were Splashing in the water at three months old and and never stop.

She learned to swim it at three years old. And she's a little fish and can dive 12 feet at five years old. So she was just lots of ocean and lots of beach. We traveled quite a bit, not just within the Bahamas, but other places. We were travelers before daughter was born. And once we got over that year hump of, okay, now we can.

sleep for more than a few hours at a time. Okay, what trip are we going on next? And gosh knows those long airline flights are not easy with infants and toddlers and we did it anyway.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Good for you. That's fantastic. What kinds of places did you go?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: So when she [00:15:00] was young, we did some, some touring in the United States. We went up in the mountains. We did a trip to back to Vermont when she was six months old. We have really cute pictures of her sitting in the leaves, you

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Aww.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: cause seasons are not a thing in the Bahamas.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: So leaves and snow and all of that.

We took a snow vacation one year to the Pocono Mountains in Pennsylvania, and she got to see her first snow at two, and

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: huh.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: little Olaf snowmen.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yep.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: so we had a, we had a good time. She was five, we did our first transatlantic trip.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: five year old on an eight hour flight to Spain.

Ha ha. Again, not the easiest thing, but the, the reward was the experience.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah, I can, I can, I can understand that, especially if traveling was so much a big part of your life.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Mm

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Before children, having your child then be a part of that, it just brings out a whole other layer of, I mean, children just bring up a whole other lens of everything you do and everything you loved before having them.

So that's amazing that you were able to do that [00:16:00] and how special you were able to go back to Vermont together and have that, that location with all these memories and now you're building them with, with another person in your life. Now you have an 11 year old. So tell me what are some of the things having a more independent child, let's go with that, than my three year old and my two year old.

What are some of the things looking back that maybe I shouldn't be stressing about? Like what's your advice to me as a mom of young kids?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: My advice, looking back, is you don't, a lot of people think that, that they need to Speak a child's language. We need to, we need to give them little information as possible because they don't need all that information. But in our experience, communicating really clearly with our daughter, even from a young age one.

super duper increased her vocabulary,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah,

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: to super duper increased her independence from a young age and her, her own ability to communicate with us. So we talked a [00:17:00] lot about emotions and naming emotions and this emotion that you're feeling right now is called frustration instead of just happy, sad, mad. And there were lots of, lots of conversations about that and teaching her about how to communicate and doing that by speaking to her. in a lot of ways, the way that I would speak to you.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: feeling today. These are the words that I use. I know this is why I'm feeling this way. This is why you might be feeling this way. And so for us, that was, that was really important. And that really helped the process of getting her from, you know, the two year old, three year old, four year old. Gosh knows four is way harder than two.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh boy, something to look forward to.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: four is way harder than two. And Yeah, so getting, getting over those

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: of, there's lots of big emotions and they don't have the words that go with them. So that's, that, we really found that that was helpful, getting to this point at 11, you know.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah. There's so much more capable than we think at their young ages to [00:18:00] understand. Like we don't have to shelter them as much as we think we do.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yeah.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: So your life, it sounds like you got into a really great routine. You were living this beautiful life on the beach and then the unimaginable happened. Tell me about this turning point in your life.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yeah, so the unimaginable did happen. I mean, if you, you know, you watch disaster movies on TV, and lots of, lots of disaster movies, and you

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: think, oh gosh, this family is going through this terrible thing, and, and, you know, it's all fiction. It's pretend. And in the end, everyone's fine. We had a real life natural disaster. Now, living in the Bahamas, hurricanes are a way of life. We have been experiencing hurricanes my entire life. Over the course of the last 25 years, they've been increasing in frequency, increasing in size, and intensity. but we were used to it. We knew what to do and when to do it and how to stay safe.

And then in 2019, we had the [00:19:00] monster of all hurricanes. Hurricane Dorian was the strongest hurricane ever to hit the Bahamas in the history of recorded history. And we thought that we were prepared. did all of the things that we always did to prepare for hurricanes and were nowhere near prepared. We had 185 mile per hour winds, which is like an EF2 tornado, except that lasted for 48 hours.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: We had 20 to 30 feet of ocean storm surge. So, our house was elevated about 10 feet above sea level. We had 9 feet of ocean inside of our house. with us inside. No escape. No one can come and rescue you. You're stuck. We did not.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Oh, my gosh.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: had a single story home. The foundation was elevated because we're on the islands and

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: is [00:20:00] possible. But when we think water is possible, we're thinking like 12 inches of water is possible, not 19 feet. So we ended up having to swim around in our house for. with our then six year old and five dogs floating on furniture, sitting on top of kitchen countertops. Eventually the water got higher than the countertops and we're floating on couches and on beds. And After hours of just keeping our heads above water, we finally had to make the decision to go into our attic. We had a ladder that got us up into our attic, but we did not have dormer windows. It was not a livable space. There was no exit

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: So once you were there, you were there. Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: stuck. There's no

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: And we were in 24 hours. No electricity. No light. Terrified that the water was going to get high enough to drown us in the attic.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Terrified that the roof was going to fly off at any moment. We were able to keep everyone safe. We were able to keep all of the dogs from drowning. Our daughter, our daughter was a great swimmer. [00:21:00] Thank goodness, because it would have been an entirely different process. We didn't have life jackets. We didn't have a raft. We didn't have a kayak. We used a floating cot mattress as a raft inside of our house for hours. Eventually the storm left. Eventually the water receded and when the water and the storm left to a point that it was safe for rescuers to come out, mind you, they were still out in 75 mile per hour wind and they came and rescued us little open boat. It was dangerous to be rescued at that point, but it was more dangerous not to be. And so we were able to get to safety and eventually 48 later we were evacuated from the island. In the end over 70 people in the country died. We very well could have been three of them.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: absolutely. What? So this isn't drinkable water. You can't drink hurricane overflow. This is ocean water filled with everything that it's picking up.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: [00:22:00] filled

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: filled with seaweed, filled with sewage, because, you know, the ocean rose enough to back up all of our sewage,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: around in sewage, ocean water for hours.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right, so you don't have, you're in an attic. Was there some water in the attic or were you mostly dry?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: no, we, we, we, the water ended up stopping about six inches from our ceiling in our living

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Great. Okay, so you, yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: yeah, if we hadn't gone to the attic, we would have been, you know, with our face

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yep.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: the ceiling trying to suck on a little bit of an air bubble. But the water did not follow us to the attic.

We did not have any drinking water in the attic. I ended up making a separate tank. trip, trip down into the into the flooded house to retrieve a bottle of water. We managed to have some peanut butter and crackers with us for the 24 hours we were in the attic. I will never eat peanut butter again.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: I'm sure. Right. Absolutely not. Wow, so good thing you were a strong swimmer.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes, [00:23:00] very good thing we're strong swimmers.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Holy cow what was the rescue like? What?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: So the rescue when they rescued us our Our yard, our, our backyard area was all still flooded and we could walk chest high. So we're out chest high and water that's moving really fast. got dogs under each arm. The rescuers got a dog under each arm. I've got my daughter wrapped around my chest trying not to fall over in 75 mile an hour wind. The process of getting on the boat was very hurry, do this, do that. The boat's going to sink if you don't move fast. Very touch and go. But they, they got us out of there. They got us into into a temporary shelter and then we were able to go from there to some acquaintances who had a, they were on a separate part of the island that did not flood. So we were able to stay with them for a couple of days until we were able to evacuate by plane.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow, so I'm just imagining even the thought process of coming out of the attic. Right?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: yeah.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: All of it, [00:24:00] like thinking, okay, the water's receded from the house, mostly, go out the door, and then you don't even know what's going to be waiting for you outside. Like, are there even going to be people?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: hmm,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Or should you just stay in the attic?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: no, no idea. And, and, and by the time we started to see the water go down, that was the point where it's like, okay, we're, we've survived. There's no more risk of immediate death. But then it's like you come down the ladder and the entire house looks like a bomb went off on the inside.

Like it's

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Mm hmm.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: 24 hours. Everything's broken, everything's wrecked. We've, our living room couch is sitting on our kitchen island.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right. Mm

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Fridge is upended, everything's broken, broken glass everywhere, you're walking and it's crunching under your feet. Thankfully we all had on sneakers,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: hmm.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: like,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Mm hmm. Right.

The things you don't even think about. The layers.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: the things you don't think about.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow. So you're coming downstairs, you're seeing this devastation, but you must be just so [00:25:00] panicked about everything that you can't even take it in.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: No, there's no, there's very little processing. It's like,

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Sure.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: I'm standing in the room like, I, I, what, what do I, what do I, what do we do now?

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Within 20 minutes of coming out of the attic, the rescuers arrived.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Great.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: put out an SOS 24 hours before with the, we need help.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Mm.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: had taken 24 hours for the storm to be gone enough for anyone to come out without risking their own lives.

I mean, they were still risking their lives, but not to the degree of, you know, 185 mile an hour winds. You can't go out in that. Yeah.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: is, what do you mean by, we put out an SOS? What is that?

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: So that was, we had we had connection with the outside world up until the point we went into the attic.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Okay.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: we had cellular signal. We had internet access. We could check the storm and see where it was and what it was doing. We could tell our friends and family that our house was filling up with water. And then it was, the waters reached countertop height. We, we need help now. We need [00:26:00] someone to come and get us. We know no one can come and get

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Right.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: but we, someone please help.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yep. So people at least knew that there were humans in this house

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: go look for after. Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: And we were, we were some of the very first that were evacuated

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yeah.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: storm

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Yep.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: because we had a young child. So we were some of the very first.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Wow. This is an incredible story. What a process you've gone through with this. I can't even imagine where you go next. And I'm so excited to dive into that with you because that is just like a whole other layer. Like, cause you've just survived this thing. But. Now, now you need to figure out where you're going to live and where you're going to go and what you're going to do.

You don't have time to sit and think, like, it's not like this happened and now you get to go home and take a nap or rest on the couch. There's none of that. So let's dive into this in the next episode because I cannot wait to hear that [00:27:00] experience. But thank you for sharing it with us so far.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: Yes. Look forward to sharing the rest.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Tell us where we can find your book and find you.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: yes, so , it's www.tarapyfrom.com. T-A-R-A-P-Y-F-R-O-M. The book is available for pre-order through pre-order through the website, and it will be in retail stores. So in Barnes and Noble and on Amazon next summer. So you can get it now. Order it through the, through the website.

krissy_1_12-06-2024_100335: Perfect. Well, Tara, you are inspiring. Thank you for sharing your time with us today.

tara-pyfrom_1_12-06-2024_110335: I appreciate it. Thank you.

If you liked this episode, please take a moment to share with a friend. The more we can talk about this kind of thing with each other, the better we're all going to be. If you can relate, take a moment to leave a thumbs up and make sure you subscribe to the channel.

If you're ready to do the work to find you again, follow me on Instagram. You can find me at mom identity project or visit my website, momidentityproject.

com where you can jump on my email list. I send one email every week with the link to the latest [00:28:00] episode, as well as some tips and tricks and some freebies that you can use on the path to discovering you or to help keep your kids entertained.

If you're looking for more support on your journey, let's book a time to work together. It's totally free, we can have a 15 minute discovery call with some coffee, or we can connect on messenger, whatever is going to fit your life best right now. I would love to support you on your journey.

In the next episode, Tara will continue her story and share how she used storytelling to process her trauma and reconnect with herself. Until then, take a moment for yourself and remember you are an amazing mom just as you are.

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
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