10 Simple Tips for Surviving— and Loving — Thanksgiving with Kids ft. Maria (E16)

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

Thanksgiving is a cherished time for families to come together, share meals, and create memories. But for parents, making sure the day is enjoyable for both adults and kids can be a daunting task. Fear not! Here are ten simple tips to ensure your Thanksgiving is not only survivable but truly enjoyable.

Kick-Off to a Memorable Thanksgiving

This year marks my first Thanksgiving with family in four years. This year I will be having dinner with my sisters and my heart is full knowing it will be a special day regardless of the setting or circumstances. My dear friend Maria from Pride and Joy Life shared with me her wealth of experience on how to make these gatherings stress-free, allowing us to focus on what truly matters.

Tip #1: Distractions are Key

Kids can be unpredictable, as any parent knows. If meltdowns threaten to disturb your peace, distractions are your saving grace. Whether it's a new toy, a quick song, or creating a mini activity zone, having strategies at the ready can help steer your children away from the brink of a tantrum.

Tip #2: Create a Kid-Friendly Space

Having a designated area for your children ensures they have a safe, contained environment to play. This spot should be centrally located if possible, so you can monitor the kids while enjoying time with family and friends. Setting up toys or crafts where you’re primarily socializing can keep you integrated with the crowd while still caring for your little ones.

Tip #3: Realistic Expectations and Communication

Creating realistic expectations can alleviate much of the pressure. My husband and I follow a mantra: "We choose not to stress." Setting clear expectations for behavior with your partner, and even with your kids in a simple, positive way, ensures that everyone is on the same page.

Tip #4: Let Go of Judgments

It's all too easy to feel the weight of judgment at family gatherings, especially regarding how our kids behave. Remember, children will be children, and their actions do not reflect the quality of our parenting skills. Focus on guiding them with love and understanding, and dismiss any judgment from others.

Tip #5: Building Connection Time

Thanksgiving is about connecting with loved ones—including your kids. Take moments to immerse yourself in your child's day by playing with them or doing a craft. This fosters a connection they'll cherish and helps mitigate any chaos.

Tip #6: Involve Them in Preparations

Letting kids participate in cooking and other preparations makes them feel important and included. Simple tasks like setting the table or helping make pumpkin pie can give them a sense of contribution and accomplishment.

Tip #7: Flexible Eating Times

Encouraging kids to have flexible eating routines allows them to snack throughout the day without the pressure of a formal sit-down meal. Carry familiar foods like chicken nuggets or yogurt for backup and let go of strict meal rules for a more relaxed atmosphere.

Tip #8: Plan Ahead for Messes

Spills and messes are inevitable. Keep wipes, trash bags, and clean-up supplies handy so you can quickly address any accidents. Approaching these situations with a sense of humor helps to avoid stress

Tip #9: Plan for Downtime

Kids can become overwhelmed by the excitement of the day. Schedule quiet time for them to decompress, whether it's reading a book together or a quiet activity away from the chaos. This downtime helps them (and you) recharge.

Tip #10: Create Family Traditions

After the hustle and bustle, wrap up the day with a comforting family tradition. Whether it’s a movie night, reading a special book, or getting into matching holiday pajamas, ending the day with a cozy ritual can offer solace from the Thanksgiving whirlwind.

Embrace the Holiday with Open Arms

Thanksgiving should be a time of joy and togetherness, not stress. With these tips for maintaining a low-key, enjoyable holiday, you will create memories that both you and your children can cherish for years to come. Remember, anything beyond surviving the day can indeed be a delightful bonus. Happy Thanksgiving!

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For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript

Krissy: [00:00:00] On this episode, I sit down with Maria from Pride and Joy Life to talk about 10 simple tips that you can use to not just survive Thanksgiving with your kids, but to love it. Thank you so much for joining me on the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy.

I am a mom of two young boys ages two Two on the 27th and three and a half. And I am so grateful that you are here with me today for this very special Thanksgiving episode. I am so lucky that my friend Maria from Pride and Joy Life joined us for another celebration episode. She brings with us so much wisdom and so much peace and calm as we go into the, another crazy hectic holiday season that I think we just all need a little bit of.

This year I'm going to Thanksgiving, [00:01:00] hopefully at my sister's house with both of my sisters and all four kids, her two and my two, as long as everybody is healthy, then we'll be doing that. This will be my first Thanksgiving with family in four years. Four years. I can't believe how long it's been.

Thanksgiving has always been a very special holiday for my family. So the fact that we've gone so long without a gathering is a lot for me. It was really hard at first. It's gotten easier now that I have kids to keep me busy. But even if we end up having to stay home because the kids are sick, I know from the last couple of years that we're still going to have a really special day and I hope that you do as well.

This episode is full of so much good information that can really help you to prepare for whatever gathering you might be going to. Whether you're hosting or going somewhere, maybe you're nervous about the place you're going, it's new to you, or you're not really sure what your surroundings are going to be like, or maybe it's somewhere you're really comfortable, like me going to my sister's house.

No matter what, there are going to be some amazing tips in this episode that you can take with you to that gathering. Maria is going to be back with us in December as well, And I'm so excited to have more episodes with her as we roll into another [00:02:00] busy holiday season.

This all comes so fast, and this is a really short season this year. We only have few weeks between Thanksgiving and Christmas because this is the last possible day that Thanksgiving can be on.

So take some notes or just enjoy listening to all of this advice that we have to offer you and hopefully we can bring you some peace of mind as you go into a busy, busy gathering. Happy Thanksgiving and thank you for being here. 

I am here today again with our celebration correspondent Maria, who is a mom of four, so she has been here and done that and has amazing tips for us for this episode, which is our Thanksgiving special. We have tips for how you can not just survive Thanksgiving, but actually love it with your little ones.

Thank you so much for being here today. Thanks for having me 

Maria: back. I brought my own turkey. I hope you don't mind. He's here. She's here. We're here to do it and have fun for Thanksgiving. 

Krissy: I love it. Are you wearing your dinner pants? Because I am. [00:03:00] 

Maria: Um, if I didn't run in from American Ed Week, I would be in my dinner pants.

So I am jealous of you right now. 

Krissy: Right? I think I feel like this is why you keep a maternity pair laying around for Thanksgiving. 

Maria: It's the one time of year you really get to take it in. So I feel like Yes. 

Krissy: Excellent. So we together have come up with a list of 10 tips that you can use actively in your preparations for Thanksgiving and on Thanksgiving Day to make sure everything goes smoothly.

And I'm so excited to discuss all of them with you and hear how you've actually put them into place. Now, number one, I think you are the queen at is distractions are key. 

Maria: Yes. It is. If kids start to melt down, distract, like literally just every time you think that something's gonna happen or it's happening, just say, Oh my gosh, did you see that over there?

And then they will be out of it or just take a walk, get them out of the moment [00:04:00] of whatever's happening. Distractions are top notch, whether that's activities, whether that is just like a song or a dance or a quick movement break. Distract, distract, distract, distract. 

Krissy: What are your favorite activities to throw out during a Thanksgiving gathering?

Because you can't just have all of the toys, because then somebody's gonna trip and break a neck, and then we're gonna end up in the hospital. So, what do you bring out? 

Maria: Thank you so much for asking. I actually came prepared for just this moment. So, I have a ton of things that I am going to show right now that have been Very helpful during Thanksgiving.

And these are all things that can, if you're hosting, you can just have a table and a section where you have these things out amongst the toys. Like, you're going to have different sections of the house, but also these things I'm about to show, you can take with you in a backpack to wherever you're going and just find a corner and set up your kid.

And these are bonuses. [00:05:00] So don't go into it and think of like, oh, I need to have all these activities. Let your kid, your expectations need to be down here. Let your kid go into the situation, feel it out. Let them have the first 10 minutes to kind of feel what they're feeling. They're excited. Go with it. If they see toys because they're at someone else's house, go with it.

But when you feel the mood is shifting where they need something, This is what you're going to do. So first, like 

Krissy: an emergency pack here, 

Maria: literally you need it. It's like, if you're going to be stranded on an Island, like think about what you would need for a kid. So Play Doh is going to be your very best friend.

Yes. This is a tub from Amazon. Um, if you don't want to bring a tub of Play Doh with you, if you're going somewhere, this is just because I'm posting. So I have a tub ready. 

Krissy: Smart. 

Maria: Target at the dollar spot has three little Play Dohs for one dollar. So this entire thing is one dollar. Just throw a couple of these into your emergency backpack.[00:06:00] 

And, um, you're good to go. Also, right now, at the dollar spot at Target, Is this and did you grab these two? I 

Krissy: didn't grab those. I grabbed mixing bowls that I thought would be great for hot cocoa play. Yes. 

Maria: And you could bring those too. Yes. So it comes with a roller. So if you just pretend that this is, I mean, you're going to use your playdough, you're going to use your roller and it comes with these cutters.

So for any kid who just needs to like get energy out, but they can't go outside because it's either bad weather or whatever it you can pop these out. And they will pretty much save the day. So Play Doh and these are going to be your go to. If your kiddo is a. Doesn't want to do a high activity thing. You can pull out the handy dandy.

These are on Amazon. They are Turkey headbands and you're just going to have a pack of crayons. If you want markers, you can go for markers. However, if you're going to [00:07:00] go for markers, grab clicking markers. Once this is genius, this is my favorite little trick that I, I like by accident happened into it.

two years ago, we lose marker tops like no other, or it's like, we're busy. So the kids are drawing with markers and then we have to abandon the marker mess because we have to move into naps or whatever fabs, whatever it is. So then the markers dry up overnight, but these are always. And so I got these off Amazon.

I, it's a pack of 20. I'm almost positive. They're like 10 bucks for a pack of 20 make sure, and it comes in a carrying case. And you can just pop this into your emergency backpack. This is also on Amazon. I believe there's 6 for a pack of however many this is and just let them draw. And then they get to wear their Turkey headband.

Those are so 

Krissy: cute. Yes. And if you don't have time for Amazon, you're listening to this and you're like packing up the car and leaving or, Something like that [00:08:00] on my website. I have two principles that you can use. I have a placemat that's double sided there's a map on the other side, you can have a car, a toy car, a figurines, bringing the turkey to the desserts and there's little maze and connect the dots, lots of coloring.

And I also have a mini sized, uh, Thanksgiving coloring or activity book that you can print out. It's just half a sheet of paper. So one sheet of paper, double sided prints, two, you cut it in half, fold it There you go. I'm going to print those out for my nieces and my kids. Print out 

Maria: 25 

Krissy: of them and keep them 

Maria: in that 

Krissy: backpack.

Right. Perfect. So we've got options for you on Amazon and on my website for distracting these kids because that is important. And you touched on number two here, which is to create a kid friendly space. Yeah. 

Maria: It's key because if there are months, you can have them amongst everyone, especially if like it's in the kitchen, for example, I probably will make mine at the kitchen table because we also want to be realistic that the adults [00:09:00] are usually either mingling or whatever.

You don't want to take yourself out. Sometimes you just don't want to take yourself out of the. out of the social aspect because you're seeing family or you're visiting with friends, wherever you're with. So getting a central spot that's kid only spot will also be super helpful just because they can be doing their things.

You could be sitting next to them, but you're right in the middle of everyone. So you don't have to miss out at the same time. So I feel like that's like the best of both worlds. 

Krissy: I love that because you're right. The kids are going to play where you are. I mean, sure, they'll run off and maybe do something for a little while, but they're going to gravitate back to you.

And moms are often the person that are now out of the social atmosphere because you're in the other room with the kids. Um, and that's genius just to set something up where you want to be, like, just make it happen. 

Maria: Yeah. And the thing is, is. If you're with family, and I know sometimes like everyone has their own way of living life.

Yeah. But if you just make it very clear to them, Hey, I do need a spot where I can safely have [00:10:00] my kids just work. Like where, wherever you're going, if it's your side of the family, if it's your partner's side of the family. Just like have that mini conversation beforehand to be like, Hey, just to make it a smooth night.

Can I have a spot kind of central to where everyone is, where I can just set them up. So then you go into it. You already know, you don't have to have that in your head. Like, Oh my gosh, I have to walk in and I have to spot spot. Where are we going to be? Just kind of think about it beforehand. It can literally be an hour before you arrive.

If you're listening to this before you're arriving where you're going, but it'll just help. Your mental state as you walk into chaos. It's great chaos and it's loving chaos, but it'll help just to know have kind of a plan. 

Krissy: I love it. So that brings us to number three, which is set some realistic expectations early.

Yeah. 

Maria: My husband's and my mantra is we will choose not to stress. Because, and we always like check in with each other. It's literally, we, and it started a couple of years ago. We were on our way [00:11:00] to the pumpkin patch. We had these expectations in our, and standards in our head. And then we kind of looked at each other, a couple of the kids were melting down and we were like, I'm going to choose not to stress about this.

Whatever happens happens. And then he was like, I'm going to choose not to stress either. And then it just makes it so much more enjoyable because you just don't have this grandiose. This has to happen or this has to happen. And then the other part that really helps is if you just view it as a comedy, if your kids are melting down around you, just view it as a comedy.

Be like, what else could happen? And if something else does happen, you're like, of course, yeah, of course that would happen. And then you just get glad at it. You just got to really make sure you take those deep breaths and the meltdowns are going to happen. The overstimulation is going to happen and you just, That's okay.

Just live with the expectation down here and anything above it is going to blow you out of the water. Yes, 

Krissy: definitely. And I think it's important also to talk with your partner [00:12:00] about what kinds of behaviors you're expecting from each other. So if you're going into this worried about something, maybe you're worried about being the one that's in the other room.

So the expectation of, Set a timer every 10 minutes. Come look and make sure I'm somewhere and maybe swap with me. Or if you're worried about being like a center of judgment of something, talk to your partner and say, I'm really sensitive about this. Can you have me listen for it? So you can jump in on the conversation.

Maria: It's so important. Something that, um, my husband and I have also figured out is. When it like whose family it is. I mean right now we actually have gotten a great group where we have our mixed families together but early on in our Marriage and with kids it was either my side of the family or his side of the family that we would do holidays with And so we would decide okay, if it's my side of the family It's really important for me to be able to talk to grandma because I don't know how many more you know Holidays I have with grandma or what it is.

And so if I can [00:13:00] have You More, you know, if you think about your time at the holiday event as a 100% sort of thing, if I can have 75% of the time to be able to mingle and really take that time with my family, and you do 75% of the kids, and then I will give you the 25%, but that means a lot to me since this one is specifically my family function and not that it takes away from them.

But if you kind of set the expectation, like, it's really important for me, because this is one of the only times I get to see these people and they mean so much to me. Or if your family means as much to your partner, how you can 50 50 it. But it really helped us to figure that out and navigate, because then on the flip side, when it was his turn and we were somewhere for his family, I just knew, I was like, all right, I'm going to make sure that you can visit with whoever you want to visit with, and I'll take, like, most of the brunt of the kids, because This is one of the only times we know everyone will be together.

So just really making sure you have that conversation to see, because if you don't, if it doesn't matter, then you could [00:14:00] just divvy up whatever you want and it's fine. But if someone does, if it does matter to someone and they feel like they missed out, that's when it gets tricky because you're like, Oh no, I didn't get to talk to this person.

I didn't get to talk to this person. But yeah. 

Krissy: That makes so much sense, and I love how you split that up in that way. It's really logical. It makes sense. Like, it doesn't have to be 50 50. It can be split up. Now, how do you set expectations with your kids? Maybe setting them up and letting them know like what they should expect, but also what you expect from them. 

Maria: We just go at it that as long as we're kind, we're good listeners. It's okay to have big feelings, especially in big crowds, because I have two kiddos who are a little bit more shy and two very expressive kiddos.

So I have both ends where we balance like their comfort level. And my oldest is one where he has always just been. A lot of people kind of overstimulate him and he gets very shy and within himself. So for him, we just say, Hey buddy, it's going to be a lot of [00:15:00] people. You know all of these people, but if you need a second, just let us know and we can go find a second with you because we know it's a lot.

And with my other kiddos too, my, my daughter is very, very expressive. She's one who can actually just like, Not mob mentality, but if everyone is very, very amped up and like the bodies are going and someone's definitely gonna get hurt, I, before we walk in, we have a talk about let's make sure we're having our safe bodies, we're listening to people when they say stop, we're making sure that we're following the rules, and we just go over just like the basic stuff so that when things are happening while we're at the event or, you know, wherever we are, um, They know, like, they know the ground rules and the ground rules just, if you have the same ground rules throughout life for every single thing, it's very easy to go.

It's very, makes flexible kids. They just know like, oh, nope, that's not okay in this environment. It's also not okay in this environment. So then they just kind of have like a basis to go off of. So that's been helpful. [00:16:00] 

Krissy: That's really helpful. Do you have any tricks? I don't. My kids are still really young so it's hard to like set that expectation for them.

 I think this will be like the first year with my three and a half year old where he really gets it of being able to say to him, but keep it small, just like, what are the basic things like you said? If there's anything you can use as like a reward or some sort of thing to look for at the end you can say like remember when we get home we're going to be doing this thing and so something to look forward to beyond the event too.

Maria: Yeah and This is probably terrible, but don't be above bribing if you need to. I mean, not in like a malicious way, but like if, if a kid needs just a really big reinforcement, you can be like, you know what, when we get home, this big thing is going to happen because. We did, we worked together and you did such a great job and listen to the rules and got through this thing if it's tough for them or like, you know, but that reinforcement, it's okay to do something big at the end.[00:17:00] 

Krissy: Yes, definitely. Now that takes us to number four, which is letting go of the shoulds and the judgment. Yeah. That's a big one. 

Maria: That took me years, years. I mean, the first like five years and that's just in life, you know, in general, but like. The first five years, especially as like a new parent, if you're one of the new parents, I don't know why we do this to ourselves, but we critique.

Every single thing that we do and then we think about how other people are viewing it. If your kid is having a tough time in this environment, you're taking it personally. You're like, Oh my gosh, like my kid is just not doing well. And then you're looking at everyone else and how they're reacting. And some people can be passive aggressive and say some things and it's so hard not to take it personally.

And so I am a veteran mom now with, you know, where I feel I have learned. Kids are going to do whatever they're going to do. You could be the [00:18:00] best mom in the entire world, have the Nobel peace prize for being the best mom. And your kid is still going to act and do whatever they're going to do in that situation.

And it's not a reflection on you. You are doing your best. You just lead with love with your kid. Your kid is your priority. Everyone else who has the judgment. You leave out of your head. Doesn't matter. You prioritize your kid how to help guide them through that moment and you leave the rest to the wind because if they're going to judge you, it's just not worth your time and your energy.

Yes, I completely agree. I always say to myself when I'm going to these big stressful situations of I just have to have faith that this person believes that I'm a good parent in a normal situation. And this is not a normal situation. So, you know, if they're seeing me as not so great, then they, I'm just going to have to assume that they think that I'm doing my best and, and that normally I am doing even better.

Yeah. And again, your expectations, keep them here, keep them way low because yes. [00:19:00] If you don't have high expectations, then like the rest just doesn't matter, especially people who are going to give side eyes, just doesn't matter. So we've talked a lot about kids who are in overwhelming situations. So I think number five is really important here of building in connection time.

Yeah. Um, I think honestly having that kids central place and making sure that you're sitting in with them and taking that time because remember the holiday is for you to connect with people, but it's also to be with your own kids and your own family. So just even if it's. Five to 10 minutes in that setting with your family or your kids where you're sitting there and building that connection Maybe doing one of the crafts with them or the activities or sitting and finding one toy to play with them That's gonna be what they remember So just building in just making sure like, oh, you know what i've been talking to so and so for 20 minutes Let me go check in and let me just like have some time with [00:20:00] with one of the kids Because that would just that means a lot Yeah, or even pulling them into a bedroom if that's an option.

Something for some one on one just snuggles or chats and yeah I love the idea of doing that craft with them that want because it's it's preventative almost right yeah it's before they need that time go in and give them at some individualized a time and it's going to make a difference. Yeah, and if your kids are extra excited or off the walls, throw on a Danny Go!

and do the Danny Go! with them. There is nothing like the eyes that light up from a kid when they see their mom or their dad doing something that they get so excited over. So just immerse yourself in one activity that they're doing that's exciting for them and then have that. They don't, it'll mean a lot to them.

I love it. Number six we have is involve them in the preparations. So how are some age appropriate ways and, you know, if you're a guest, other appropriate ways you could do that? So actually [00:21:00] my family, one of our traditions that we do is when we Have pies we do a pie making day So the kids will get to make a pumpkin pie pumpkin pie so easy to make so that's why they usually get that Because all you do is just put the pumpkin puree put the condensed milk mix it up put it in and when I tell you that the kids every single year feel like they Made the feast of thanksgiving because they made the pie Especially like at the end of the night when the desserts come out They also, it just means a lot to them, but they also understand whoever's cooking the dinner.

Like, they just had that experience, so they kind of can conceptualize, oh, okay, you know, it's their turn. And you also now have the language to tell them, all right, we have to let so and so cook. Focus just like yesterday when we were making the pie for today We had to really listen to the directions and make sure we put the right ingredients in now It's their turn.

So we're going to give them some space to do it. Just immersing them in the ways that they [00:22:00] understand What has to happen so then it They, they just understand even they're coming from doing it themselves so they can understand when it's happening in the setting of a holiday. That's so smart. I love it.

I mean, I, my mind went to, and maybe it's just because my kids are so young, like let them set the table, let them do that kind of thing, which is great too. But yeah, to give them the same experience, but in a different setting in another spot, like to relate to. Wow. I love it. Yeah. And actually I love yours cause that's so.

across the age ranges. And then also they can make, um, some, it sparked me to remember that my kids will color some of the name plates, name plates, it's a piece of paper folded and we put the people's names on it. And then they go around and they will, they will say where people are going to sit. Now, if that's where they're really going to sit, you know, that's up to the adult, but it makes them feel like they're like, Oh, we'll put this person here and we'll put this person here.

And so if you're hosting, that's easy. I know it makes [00:23:00] it a little trickier if you're at someone's house. But it does help them to just feel like, like, oh, I'm a part of Thanksgiving. Right. That's so cute. Yes. To like have them decorate it because they, then they did it and then Yeah. They can even pick, you know, it's a big deal who you sit next to, so if they really wanna sit next to their auntie, they can make that happen in that way.

So it's cute. So true. Now that brings us to number seven, which is embrace flexible eating times for your kids, right? Um, wow, because I'm a big believer in, you don't have to eat dinner at dinner. Like if you are eating your green beans while it's getting cooked and I'm throwing it to you, you ate your green beans.

I am happy with that. So what do you do about the kids who are hungry before dinner or aren't, don't want to sit and eat dinner? What do you do with that? Okay, so I am a very, very, if you can't tell, very, very flexible on everything. I personally do not [00:24:00] make, when it comes to food for holidays, I always come with chicken nuggets.

I just feel like, one, chicken nuggets are always a winner, but chicken nuggets, yogurt, anything, like yogurt is also something that's very easy across the board. I know that, I don't, is your littlest, will they sit and eat yogurt? They will sit and eat anything. So anything that will take a while though, if you think about like the yogurt or an applesauce thing.

It takes them a while to eat it. So anything that will take them time to eat will only help while they're eating dinner, but also leading up through the day, because I know a lot of people come for like appetizers and then the Thanksgiving dinner, I just allow whatever to happen to happen. I just don't put any pressure or expectations because they could eat absolutely nothing all day.

And then I put out their Thanksgiving dinner. Where there's a chicken nuggets and they still don't eat it. So just [00:25:00] bag it up and if you're going to be driving back home, feed it to them on the way home because you know that they're going to get in the car and say, I'm starving. Just don't overthink it and have your activities ready for the table because If they don't feel like eating, but you need to sit down and everyone's sitting down and eating, pull out your Play Doh again.

Like, pull it out, make sure that you just have something ready for them right there, and, and just lower those expectations. It could be one of those two, where you and your partner have that talk, and you decide, all right, If all is going not well, you can eat first and then I'll eat, you know, and you just take turns because just reality hits.

You never know what the kid is actually gonna do. So just kind of have that discussion so that it's not, you're giving each other like the side eye when the kid's losing it and you're like, Come on, you take the turn. You be with the kid. Just have the talk and be like, Alright, I'll take it this [00:26:00] time, next time you be the first one to take the, you know.

So then it just helps. Yeah, that's so important because dinner is such a big time for people, especially a big dinner. And there's a lot of new things. There's a lot of people. There's a lot of noises. There's a lot of smells. There's a lot of new foods that you don't eat often. So, yeah. Giving yourself the permission to bring the chicken nuggets and the familiar food or the familiar plates or you know Having them sit on your lap instead of at the kids table or wherever that thing is or to leave to go to that kid Friendly space right?

There's no nothing that says your child has to come and sit really Thanksgiving dinners for the adults, right? Yeah, and everything else the kids aren't necessary. It's not for them Well, I force it on them can add, you know, what's funny is I grew up with their being an adult table and a kid's table. But ever since we started hosting, and even when my when, you know, my in laws, my parents hosted, ever since I've had kids, we've actually never done an adult table and a kid's table.

We're all, the kids are completely immersed wherever the parents are, the [00:27:00] grandparents. So that we can make sure that they're all taken care of but we're right there with them So it's not a hard situation because it's not like one of us is running out to this table to make sure that they're set And then running back to our table.

It's just like you're out at a restaurant how you would normally, you know, like Just, you're all right there together. So that actually has helped us a ton with being able to manage too. Yeah. That brings us back to that kid friendly space, right? That same idea. Put the kids where you want to be. Yeah.

Where it's easiest where you can actually manage it because you're not going to be successful if you can't manage it. So just figure out how. how you're going to be the most successful. Yep. Yep. And that brings us to eight because this is a big one and the whole version of it, like the beginning, middle and end plan ahead for the messes.

Yep. Just come with wipes ready in your emergency backpack, maybe even bring your own bags that you could just [00:28:00] like throw. I mean, it's just. This also goes back to expectations. You're going to have spills. If you're going to a grandparent's, maybe not a grandparent's house, if you're going to a house that they don't have kids, And they don't have sippy cups.

So they have a juice box and then your kid grabs the juice box and it's just be aware. It's going to happen. Have those little expectations. See it as a comedy. What spill is going to happen next? Just roll with it. And, and that is where. It could get tricky with the external people where the judgments might come out, but just realize they probably went through it too back in the day.

They just are not remembering it. So just give yourself grace, give your kid grace and just move on through it. Right. They're not looking necessarily to see that it happened because it happened. They're more looking to see how you react to it. And if you laugh it off and make it fun, but also you're like not stressed about it, you, you know where the mop went.

Was like you're not [00:29:00] now searching frantically for the mop. You went in and you said, where's your mop? Where's your broom? Where are these things that you can run in into the rescue? Maybe that's what you need to do. Walk into the situation and say, hi, I have however many kids you have. Do you know where your trash bags are?

Your paper towels, your cleaning agent that you choose and your vacuum as well as your broom. That would be very nice to know. Thank you so much. Right, just be prepared and then you're going to clean it up and laugh about it and everyone's going to laugh with you and it's going to be over and you're going to forget.

Yeah. So, so much better to plan ahead. Yep. Now, number nine is similar to our connection time, but I do think it's different and I think it's worth talking about still, is plan for downtime. Yeah. It's just going to be a hot mess, as we've said the whole time. I agree with it. Mm. Just make sure that if you notice the cues of your kid and they are starting to just get amped, amped, amped, amped, [00:30:00] amped, either grab them and do a movement break or grab them and take them into a quiet room.

Give them five to ten minutes. If, I mean, I'm an adult and I need that. I get way overstimulated sometimes.

Yes, because if you're overstimulated, they're probably overstimulated, so you can use that as a cue to maybe read a book, like sit everybody down and, and do like a dramatic reading of something that they're all going to be interested in, to have that forced like quiet time, right? And then. Totally. The last time, the last thing is, you know, when you get home or when you are home and everybody leaves, there's that lull and everybody kind of feels meh, like what's next?

What just happened? Like that crash after the excitement. So the last tip we came up with is have some sort of family tradition ready to go. What, what do you think about that? Well, you talked my memory that We do our Christmas. So my mom actually gets Christmas jammies for the kids every year. So she will grab the Christmas [00:31:00] jammies.

And then at the end of our Thanksgiving dinner, she hands each of the grandkids, the jammies, and then they run and go get in their jammies. And then we just have a low key ease into bedtime. Now it's easy because we host. So I'm able to kind of control the environment, but for other. Situations we would put them in the jammies and then head home and then have a low key day or a low key day a low key night Just go to bed and we did it.

That's so cute. I love it And like maybe it's a movie night or maybe it's a board game night or maybe it's a special book but Something that brings you together as a family in the end to talk about gratitude and talk about all the things you were thankful for for the meal and feel cozy because that cozy feeling can kind of fight that, the blues that you get after a big event's over.

Yeah, and remember they're going to be exhausted, so anything that just lets them chill is going to be what you want. Yep, and [00:32:00] that's a good point too. If they are so exhausted that they are not going to sit for that cute family moment and put on those jammies and all of the things, that's okay too. You don't need this Christmas card moment to happen after Thanksgiving.

You could just, you know, fight for your life and go to bed. Yeah, honestly, and truly that's what we do. We just get in the jammies and then start the bedtime routine because they're tired anyway. So it doesn't matter what time of the night it is. They're ready. They want that downtime. So if that's all you have and you can muster, perfect.

We're doing the same thing. Yep. I love that. Well, Maria, this is amazing. I think these 10 tips are really going to help families to prepare for a low key, low stress Thanksgiving that you can actually enjoy, survive, and love. And it's all because you gave us your time and your expertise from your 10 years of parenting, your decade of parenting advice and wisdom.

And also just having the lowest of low expectations. Anything great [00:33:00] that happens. is a bonus and just view it as that. A bonus is a woo! But just go into it and know it's going to be a comedy. Yes, definitely. Exactly. Just treat it like a movie. Well, we will have you back in December and I can't wait for that.

Tell us where we can find you in the meantime. You can find me at Pride and Joy Life on Instagram. Instagram's my like main jam. So you can find me there. Excellent. Sounds good. Well, please make sure that if you enjoyed this episode, you follow on any channels that you're able to Spotify, Apple, Amazon, YouTube, you leave a little thumbs up or the five stars on Apple or Spotify, and you can leave us a comment on Spotify and a rating on Apple.

And that will really help us to reach other moms. Make sure you share this episode with your friends. Because you know that they are going to need this advice as well, . And we don't wanna gate keep these kinds of secrets. No, mom. So please share with your friends. You can find me on bold little at bold little minds on Instagram [00:34:00] and you can reach me if you'd like to share your story at Bold Little minds@gmail.com.

And please visit my website, bold little minds.com is where you can find all those printables we talked about, uh, um, beforehand, my menu and my activity booklet. Thank you so much for joining us and we will see you next time.

 

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