5 Ways to Plan Your Holiday Season to Avoid Burnout and Disappointment (E17)

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

As the holiday season rapidly approaches, we often find ourselves overwhelmed with expectations, plans, and the stress that comes with trying to make everything perfect. In this blog post, we're diving into five simple tips to help you prevent disappointment and make the holidays enjoyable for both you and your family.

Embrace the Community Spirit

First, I want to express gratitude for this community and thank you for being a part of it. As we transition out of Thanksgiving and into the holiday season, I reflect fondly on my own experiences and hope your Thanksgiving was filled with joy as well. The beauty of the season often lies in unexpected places—like the warmth of a family gathering, even if things don't go exactly as planned.

Plan and Prioritize Traditions


The first step in ensuring a joyful holiday is to create a list of traditions or events that hold emotional significance for you. Think about those things that, if missed, would leave you feeling like something was missing. Next, map these out over the holiday period, without binding them to a strict schedule. Flexibility is crucial. Plan around fixed events and leave space for spontaneous, special moments with your family.

Schedule Social Gatherings Thoughtfully

Similarly, prioritize the people you want to connect with this season. Extend proactive invitations and leave room in your schedule to accommodate surprises or changes. Remember that not everyone can be seen in December, and some relationships might be better nurtured in the quieter months of January or February.

Create Time for Rest and Reflection

It's important to maintain a balance between activities and downtime. Allow space for unplanned fun—like spur-of-the-moment crafts inspired by a holiday show. Also, make a "no list" of things you'll consciously skip to preserve your sanity and avoid burnout. The act of saying no is as important as the activities you choose to embrace.

Stay Ahead with Gift Planning

Keep an organized list of the gifts you intend to buy and wrap them as you go along. This helps to avoid the last-minute panic of wrapping on Christmas Eve. Remember, children's excitement does not solely depend on the quantity or price tag of a gift, but rather the thoughtfulness and love behind it.

Plan Your Food and Festivities

Food plays a huge role in holiday memories. Plan your meals and treats in advance to spread out the workload. Consider making and freezing batches of cookies or other homemade delights ahead of time. This not only saves stress but also provides opportunities for multiple joyful kitchen sessions with your kids.

Focus on the Essentials

Finally, remember that the magic of the holidays often comes from simplicity. Your kids will cherish the warmth of the season through shared stories, simple pleasures, and cozy moments rather than overwhelming events. Reflect on what truly matters and communicate these priorities with your partner to ensure that your vision for the holidays aligns. As we head into this magical time, I hope these tips help you create a meaningful and joyful holiday for your family. Remember that your best gift to yourself and your loved ones is the experience of presence and joy, unmarred by stress or unrealistic expectations. Next week, join me for a special guest on celebrating Hanukkah, followed by more insights into making Christmas shine both for you and your family. Until next time, thank you for stopping by, and if you enjoyed reading this, don't hesitate to share it or leave a review. Happy holidays!

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Transcript

[00:00:00] On today's episode, I give you five simple tips that you can use to try to help prevent disappointment during this coming holiday season. 

 

Thank you so much for joining me for this episode of the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy, I'm a mom of two young boys ages three and a half and two, and I'm so happy that you're here with me today. Thanksgiving has come and gone and we are now on the other side. I hope you had a really great holiday.

I am so thankful for this community and for you to be a part of it. I had a really nice Thanksgiving with just my family. It didn't work out as we planned, but there was some snow forecasted for my sister. And when I say some, I mean like six to nine inches over the course of a few hours. So we opted not to go [00:01:00] and then womp womp turns out there was no snow at all.

So we stayed home for no reason, but it was a really nice day. Despite the scream crying and despite the loud emotions from my children. We still had a lot of fun just being together and enjoying each other's company and having a low key day. And then the next day we were able to go out and see my sisters at my sister's house and spend time with my nieces and my sister's husband was home, which was a special surprise.

And then on the way home, since we didn't have this big meal that took up a lot of our time. We stopped by my dad's house and saw my dad and his girlfriend on our way home and it was a really special day. So we had a really nice weekend together. I hope that you had one too, even if yours didn't work out exactly as you expected.

Now we are running into a very short holiday season. There's only a few weeks between now and Christmas, which, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, is really this cue for the end of this season. And the end of the year [00:02:00] is certainly a cue for the end of this excitement that we're heading into before we get into winter.

And that can be tough for people. So this is a really nice. exciting time for people, but it has a lot of pressure. And I'd like to help you to avoid disappointment as we go into it. Because even though it goes really fast and it's a short season, it is a marathon. It is a long haul that we need to plan for.

Going in too over eager and too excited. can lead to burnout really quickly, but also forgetting that it's short and leaving everything towards right before can lead to a lot of disappointment and a lot of frustration. So I want to give you five simple tips for how you can plan your Christmas season.

 I'm sure we've all been there where you have this tradition that you are really looking forward to this event you have this picture in your eye of something that you want to experience with your family and then before you know it Christmas [00:03:00] is here you are totally booked you are running from this gathering to the next you're going to different events and there's no time to sit down as your family to really get those traditions and those events done in a thoughtful way.

So you either skip it completely and you're just feeling miserable because you feel like a failure or you're rushing through it and now you're feeling really frustrated and short with your family because it's not working out the way you expected. So I'd like today to give you five simple tips to how to plan your Christmas to avoid disappointment and avoid that mom guilt that comes along with it.

The first thing I'd like you to do is create a list of the traditions or the different types of events that are so important to you that if you got to the end of the season and you didn't do them you would be really disappointed and feel like you missed out on something.

So really take the time to write them all down. Now what I'd like you to do is try to map them out. I don't mean plan them. Don't plan a specific day that you're going to cook the cookies. Because you know that that day that you're going to make the cookies is the day that your [00:04:00] three year old's going to have an epic meltdown

and then that's not going to work out. So look at different weeks and different windows of time. What makes sense to go where? And really just map out where they might fit in naturally. Put in the things that are time sensitive like if you know you have a specific gathering or you're traveling put in those dates and then from there fill in the windows of opportunities for where these traditions might fit in.

Leave yourself flexibility and don't overpack that. We're not looking for something to fill every single day. Kids are very happy to just read the Christmas books and sing the Christmas songs or play with the Christmas stuffed animals, whatever that thing might be. And that's a very special memory for them.

for them in and of itself. So you don't have to be making something very special. We're talking about things that are honestly more for you than they are for the kids. Yes, they will be memories that they'll remember forever, but they're not going to feel like they missed out on something if you don't get to something.

So make sure you're keeping yourself in mind [00:05:00] as you're planning these out.

Number two is very similar. I want you to make another list of people who are very important to you and that you want to make sure you prioritize seeing this holiday season. Think to your friends, your family, past co workers, whoever those people are that are important to you that you want to make time for, write them down and try to schedule in, again, windows.

Because with young kids, we know that the time that you end up scheduling, your kids are going to get sick. So try to set up a window of time, like maybe it's a weekend, maybe it's a few days in a week. And then you can nail down an actual time a day as you get closer to the actual time you've scheduled for.

So reach out to them early, try to be proactive and find those windows so you can spread them out throughout the whole season.

You know, if you find out that grandma's only available this one specific weekend because she's very booked with her friends through the other weekends, then it's important that you know this in advance, so that way you can make sure that you leave that weekend available for grandma.

Number three, as you're building this map and scheduling out your [00:06:00] calendar, I want you to leave buffer time And keep a no list, right? We have a lot of things that are must do's or want to do's or hope to do's, but what are the no's? What are the things that you are going to say no to? Because the reality is we are going to have more things that we want to do and more people that we want to see than we have time for without feeling overscheduled and burnt out.

So what are the no's? Who are the people that you're comfortable saying, listen, we're not going to be able to fit in seeing you during this holiday season. Let's plan something for the new year. Because that's important too. Remember as we get into the new year, we are heading into this long winter where a lot of people suffer from seasonal depression.

 And planning ahead for the people that we want to see during that time can really help to combat those feelings. So don't feel like you need to see everybody that you've ever met in December because being kind to yourself also means planning to see those people again in the [00:07:00] winter.

For the people on the outskirts of your life, there's nothing special about December that says this is the time you absolutely have to see them once a year. You could make that time happen in January or February instead. So give yourself that flexibility. Who are those people that you're going to say, let's plan January?

I think that will be really nice.

And then also in your windows, plan some slow time with your family where you can really connect and just do nothing or whatever special thing pops up. So maybe you are watching something together and the people in the show are doing something cute like making ornaments that was something that was not on your original list of things that you want to make time for.

But you're looking at it and the kids are looking at it and everybody thinks that this could be fun to do. Give yourself some room to fit those new traditions in that you didn't even think about before. So planning for specific no time and downtime is going to be really important for those spontaneous moments of magic.

Number four is a big one right [00:08:00] now. I want you to start planning out your gifts early, and start wrapping as you go.

Keeping, again, another list. So if you're seeing a trend here, I am a big list person and I truly believe that this is going to help you. Keep a list of the things that you are either buying or intend to buy for people as you go.

Because as you start to sort things away, have you noticed this? I start to buy things in June or July, whenever those Amazon Prime days are, and then I tuck them away and out of sight, out of mind, you forget what you have.

So I keep a spreadsheet with a list of all of the things that I've bought so that way I can remember how much I have. Because there's a lot of urgency that people are trying to show you in December. You need this, this is important, this is on sale. If you don't buy it now you'll be spending double when you actually realize that you do need it.

 Prevent that false feeling of urgency by keeping a list of what you've bought and keeping a list of things that you think will be important to have. So [00:09:00] maybe a category. What's the open ended toy that you're going to give to your kids? What is the one themed toy for whatever character that they're loving at the moment?

What is that themed toy going to be? What is the book you're going to buy? So think about the categories of things that your kids like to play with and you could fill in those gaps that way. I know I've seen a lot of like the, the four things, four things that you need, three things that you want, you know, that kind of list.

Those are different ways that you could approach this. But whatever method makes sense and calls to you, keep a list of the things that you have bought and the things that you intend to buy or the categories you're intending to fill. So that way you're not just panic buying because something seems like a deal that you just can't resist.

This is great for stocking stuffers too. My favorite stocking stuffers are things that are really small and really shiny. So washi tape, going to Staples and buying some shiny washi tape. My kids stockings are going to have [00:10:00] tape, some sparkly glue in it, craft supplies, and that cloth measuring tape that you can wind back up when you're done with it.

Things like that. Things that are really cutesy, but practical. The things that they'll use, and then treats or food that you are okay with them eating right away. Don't put things in their stocking that you're going to say to them, no you can eat that later, because this is excitement.

This is part of the process. So make sure as you're planning things, you're thinking intentionally about, am I okay with my kid using this right away? Because they're, Probably going to want to. And then wrapping as you go is such a gift to yourself. It's not something I've done. I will be 100 percent honest.

My stuff is all up in the attic right now. I still need to buy wrapping paper, but finding that time throughout the season to wrap so that way Christmas Eve night you are not sitting on the floor till 3 a. m wrapping and setting things up is so important. And make sure you buy those batteries. Let's plan ahead for that too.

 Be kind to yourself by really thinking out your gifts and really thinking out your wrapping process [00:11:00] and your assembly process before Christmas gets here. Think for the long haul.

And then my final tip for you is planning out your food and treats in advance. Do anything that you can ahead of time. If you are a cookie making family, which we are, it's a really great idea to split up the days on which you do the different steps.

So one day of excitement could be making the dough and then you put it in the fridge and, or the freezer and you can wait that out. So you can make the dough now for Christmas cookies that you'll make two weeks from now. And then another day could be the actual act of just cutting the cookie dough and putting them in the oven.

So just baking the cookies is an event. And then a separate event is also decorating them. So cookie making can take you all month long if you really want to. So plan that out as you're making your list of things. Don't try to fit it all in into the same day.

As you're doing your grocery trips throughout the month, think about gatherings you might be having and maybe pick up extra boxes of crackers if they're [00:12:00] on sale, or maybe that appetizer that you are famous for. Grab the ingredients for them early so that way you're not trying to find them as things get closer. Anything that you can make and freeze ahead of time is going to be a gift to you as you get closer and closer to Christmas.

As you're making dinner throughout the month, try to make two and then freeze one of them so that way later on you have that ready to go when you have those busy, busy days and nights coming up, you can just pop them out of the freezer and put them in the microwave it doesn't take you double the time to make double the amount of food when you're preparing.

Now lastly, this isn't a tip, but I just want to revisit that no list again. Remember that your kids are going to find this season to be magical, no matter what you do. You don't have to do anything extra special throughout the season. Truly, the memories that you're trying to recreate are probably your own.

So try to evaluate that and think carefully about what you're trying to fit in and why. take the time to talk to your partner about this list that you've created of the important traditions that are going to be make it or [00:13:00] break it holiday season things for you.

And really explain to them why they're important, what you're hoping they look like. So that way you can work together to make that happen. If putting together the tree as a family is important to you, You need to communicate that, because if that's not important to your partner, they might just put up the tree while you're in the shower.

And if you come out and it's set up and you're going to be disappointed, you needed to explain that to them ahead of time. So start now talking to your partner about all of these things that are important to you. Make this list together, take the time to map it out together, and get their perspective as well.

The best thing you can do for yourself. and for your relationship and for your family is go into this prepared. Go into this being totally transparent and communicating all of your needs, your wants, your wishes. 

So that way, when things don't work out as expected, you have either a backup plan or you know that you did everything you could to try to make this the way you were [00:14:00] envisioning and it's still Still just wasn't going to work out that way. Avoid the resentment that can build up when you don't take the time to talk about your wishes.

 Mom guilt is hard enough no matter what you do. One thing that you can do to try to prevent mom guilt is this planning and this communication process. No, it's not going to go away. There's nothing I'm going to say to you right now that's going to take the mom guilt and just remove it from the situation, but being kind to yourself and remembering how much your kids are just going to love reading these books and watching these shows or just take a trip to Home Depot and look at all of the Christmas decorations that are there. You don't have to go out of your way to go to this magical light show that's going to be an hour away, past bedtime, everybody's going to be cranky and nobody's going to sleep. You don't have to add the additional stress by planning these things that don't fit into your lifestyle.

That your gut is saying, this just doesn't fit us right [00:15:00] now. Do something else. The kids are going to like the light show at home Depot with all of the things that they have up just as much as they're going to like the extra fancy one that costs 50 a person, an hour and a half away.

It's okay to say no to those things. I know that social media makes it seem like you have to go to this special light show. Everybody loves it. You have to go to this polar express night. The kids are going to love it. You know what? The kids are going to just as much love the Polar Express night you make at home with hot cocoa and lots and lots of pillows around the couch.

They don't need to go to this extra special event with all of these special decorations to feel special and to feel that warmth that's going to come from it. In fact, unless those events are super important to you for some reason, they can often backfire because you get there and it might be too overstimulating for your kids and they are just asking you to leave the whole time or maybe they missed a meal or a nap on their way and they're just [00:16:00] crying because their needs aren't getting met in other ways.

 Putting your kids basic needs first, eating healthy food, sleeping as much as they need to, and leaning into their social preferences, maybe they are kids that just can't stand a crowd and they get overstimulated really easily, leaning into those things and really leading with your kids needs in mind can help you prevent disappointment from spending too much money, driving too far, and building up these big events in your head.

I have a great month of episodes for you. Next week, we're going to have Blair, who was one of my very first guests on, she's going to talk about how she celebrates Hanukkah with her family, And then the next two weeks I'm going to have Maria back And she's going to talk about simple, easy ways that she makes Christmas magic in her home, and we're going to talk more about this mom guilt and how we can really work against it to try to make Christmas feel magical for everybody.

It's going to be magical for your kids no matter what, but I truly do want this to be a [00:17:00] magical time for you as well. Thank you so much for taking the time to listen. If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a quick five star rating on Spotify or Apple. If you're on Apple, you can leave a review by going to the about page of my podcast down to leave a review.

That means so much to me and helps us to reach other moms. Please share with your friends as well. You can find me on my website boldlittleminds. com or on social media at boldlittleminds. Thank you so much for taking the time and listening and I look forward to seeing you next time.

 

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
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