Attachment Parenting, Play Based Learning, and Starting Again After Solo Parenting: Callie’s Story

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

In this episode of the BoldLittleMinds MomCast, we dive deep into the world of creative parenting with Krissy and her guest, Callie from The Messy Schoolhouse. This enlightening conversation explores the ups and downs of parenthood, personal teaching philosophies, and practical tips for connecting with your child through play and education.

Introduction

Krissy opens the conversation by setting the scene in her own life as a stay-at-home mom to two young boys. She reflects on her journey into casual homeschooling, emphasizing the joy of creating a structured yet playful learning environment right in her home. She shares anecdotes of decorating with a theme, which in their case is apples, and the delight of seeing her children's faces light up as they engage in themed activities.

A Journey to Becoming a Mom

Krissy introduces Callie, a mother of three with a background in early education. Callie's story resonates with many listeners, touching on her experience of stepping into motherhood at a young age. Through her narrative, she highlights the unique challenges and joys of raising her children, particularly her firstborn, who she raised independently. Callie's account is a testament to the deep, transformative bond that single parenting can forge between a mother and child.

The Messy Schoolhouse and Play-Based Learning

One of the central themes of Callie's message is the importance of play-based learning and nature-based education, which she practices at her family-run schoolhouse. She explains how returning to her roots and running a small educational program in her hometown allows her to challenge traditional education norms by providing a nurturing, creative environment for children.

Parenting Styles and Philosophies

The podcast delves deeply into the concept of attachment parenting, exploring how natural instincts and practical needs guided both mothers toward adopting a more personalized approach. Callie and Krissy share their experiences with co-sleeping and baby-wearing, emphasizing these practices as tools for achieving rest, connections, and efficient caregiving.

Practical Tips for Busy Parents

A segment of the podcast that listeners find particularly useful is the discussion around low-prep, go-to activities for children. Callie and Krissy share their love for simple items like tape for road trips and innovative uses of objects like pipe cleaners and colanders for creative play. These easy activities help keep children engaged and foster their development.

Engaging Older Siblings

Callie also opens up about managing sibling dynamics with a significant age gap, offering insight into fostering bonds between children of varying ages. Her advice on maintaining individual connection times and nurturing each child's unique talents provides valuable guidance for parents seeking balance in multi-child households.

Engaging with Your Child

In response to a Reddit user's query, the podcast addresses creative ways to play with a three-year-old for parents who might lack creativity or time. Suggestions like involving children in everyday tasks, creating simple games from household items, and encouraging outdoor activities highlight the episode. The overall message is clear: presence and engagement outweigh perfection in parenting.

Conclusion

Krissy and Callie's conversation is a heartwarming and educational journey through the realities of modern parenting. The episode encourages parents to embrace the non-traditional, focus on their child's unique journey, and trust their instincts. The BoldLittleMinds MomCast continues to offer a platform for sharing stories that empower parents everywhere to feel more connected and less alone in their parenting adventures.

--- Stay tuned for more inspiring stories and advice, and don't forget to connect with us on Instagram for updates and tips from Callie on Instagram @TheMessySchoolhouse

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For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Krissy: Welcome to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy. I'm a stay at home mom to two young boys. Right now, their age is three and a half and one and a half. And we are having so much fun doing some new activities around the house. I have casually started doing like a homeschool preschool kind of thing, which I don't really like.

I don't love saying that because I don't really feel like we're doing an official preschool right now. I feel like we're just having fun and playing games and sure there's a learning spin. It doesn't really feel much different than what we've already done other than I'm following more of a curriculum, more of a guide, more of a logical pace, [00:01:00] and I'm planning activities a little more thoughtfully.

And doing a little more structured activities in a special designated learning space rather than just on the living room floor. So, it's not quite different, doesn't feel too different for me, but it was really fun to have my teacher hat on again and start doing some lesson planning and to set up a nice, like, first day of school kind of environment.

I set up different apple decorations around because we're doing an apple theme this week and, or last week and this next week. And it was just so much fun to put it all together and to see the look on his face with my little learning space that I put together with all the apples hanging up. And it was just so sweet to watch.

We've read a lot of Apple books, things like that. But with that, we had a lot of really rough moments this week too. My husband has been working a lot of hours, which is so nice. It's so hard on him and it's hard on us too. He does a great job of still being present and showing up for us, which is amazing.

But we definitely needed to take it slow sometimes this week. And I really leaned into that [00:02:00] on Thursday and Friday, just letting the boys relax, letting me relax. The kids haven't been sleeping very well. They've been waking up really early. So taking some slow time and letting go of the plans has been really nice too.

This week on my Instagram, you'll see all kinds of things like my learning space coming together. So Like our rock wall being built. How cool is that? My husband really took the reins on that. My original plan was to just do a piece of plywood with some scrap wood on it to lean against the stone wall that we have.

So nothing super fancy. But then he came up with this incredible idea and has really taken the reins to putting it together. Like this was not my idea for once. This was, uh, something that I guess I kind of came up with a seed of and he took and ran with it truly. Oh my goodness. And the boys love this thing.

Now my kids love to climb. They will climb everything and nothing has deterred them from just. Climbing up the walls. Quite literally. I bought a pickler [00:03:00] triangle, a climbing arch, all kinds of things. And even now this rock wall, they still are climbing animals. Nothing is taking away this urge to climb.

Unfortunately, I would really love to be channeling it into some proper ways to do it, but there is no channeling. They are just going to be climbing monkeys. Probably for a good long time, but it's been still really fun having this rock wall. It's been more of a motivator to get them outside when we're having some rough moments inside.

It's really fun to watch them run up the slide and then go down or go up the rocks. Even my 21 month old, he is climbing so well up those rocks. It is unbelievable. Like his first try, he didn't even need my support. I couldn't believe it. It's a little scary when he gets to the top because he's Not quick to go down the slide.

He wants to stay up there and play and jump around and He's still in that phase where he has no fear and doesn't really understand at all What is that he could get seriously hurt up there? [00:04:00] So I my anxiety is still really high and I'm almost wishing we waited a year or two before we put it up But to see the joy on their face is doing it really does make it worth it and it gets me up there They're playing with them too and going down the slide.

So it's really nice way to, for us to connect and be present with each other. On this week's episode, we talked to Callie who has the Instagram page, the messy schoolhouse, and she has the cutest activities on her page. She does a lot of messy play, a lot of really simple, small world setups, and it's just so cute.

I want to play with the things that she sets up. I want to go in there and start tinkering around with everything or playing with her little peg dolls and doing little sports. It reminds me of what I was like as a girl, and it's just so sweet. Callie has an incredible story with her three boys. She's got a big age gap in there, and it's really interesting to hear her story of how she started, where she is now, and how her family has come together.

I hope that you enjoy Callie's story. story as much as I [00:05:00] did. She's so sweet and nurturing and you just want to cozy up and listen to her. So put on a blanket or a sweater and maybe a cup of coffee and a hot tea and just cozy up and listen to her, tell her story and talk about, um, where she's come from and where she's, and where she's going.

Make sure you take a moment to subscribe, leave a rating and review, and share this episode with your friends before you dive in. And make sure you give me a like on Instagram and social media, and make sure you look up Callie in the show notes and give her a follow as well, because she is a gem. Thank you so much for listening, and I hope you enjoy the show.

Thank you so much for listening to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy. I am a stay home mom to two young boys ages three and a half and one and a half now. And I am so happy to be here today with Callie, who is a mom to three boys ages nine, four, and two. She's a preschool teacher and she has the cutest Instagram page filled with lots of really awesome play prompts.

Thank you so much for being here with me today, [00:06:00] Callie. 

Callie: Thanks for having me. I'm excited to take some time away from the boys and chat with another mom for a little bit. 

Krissy: Right. I know. Right. To feel like an adult or like a person and not just like this mom. I love that. We were just saying how we already feel connected through Instagram because we really get a chance to interact with each other's posts a lot because of some of the communities that we're a part of.

And Callie's posts are just so cute. You post. The sweetest little play prompts for your kids and for your preschool students, right? That look just so easy to do and like, they look so inviting. Your kids must love it. 

Callie: Thank you. I appreciate that. That's a big, that's a big compliment. Sometimes in my community, I'm a little bit of the oddball.

So I appreciate that a lot. 

Krissy: Yeah, I understand what you mean. Yeah, it can feel a little out there to be putting together, like taking the time to put these small world things together, but it's the kids, they make it so worth it. 

Callie: Oh, definitely. Definitely. I 

Krissy: couldn't imagine doing [00:07:00] anything else.

So tell me about your journey to becoming a mom. Where were you before and then what brought you to where you are now? 

Callie: So I've always worked in early ed. So I was working early ed when I was pregnant with my first. That was a difficult time and a challenging situation.

I became a mother, in my opinion, pretty young age. I do feel like just my family and my upbringing and my career, I was prepared in that sense, what to kind of expect, but not entirely, and especially not to do it all on my own. So right so that was a big that was a really big deal. It's a very stubborn person.

So I really just shoulder that all on myself. We lived on our own and it was a very busy time and he brought so much joy to my life. It was a different challenge. And for your 1st child, you know, being by yourself and just the state of everything, it was [00:08:00] a big adjustment.

Such such a blessing. My life turned around for the better because of him. Our bond is very special because of that. 

Krissy: Yeah, I can imagine. It's, it's so incredible, especially your first child. There's something special about that bond, I think, and for all the things you had to go through with it too.

Wow. So you were teaching when you first had him. Were you teaching for a while before that? You said you were pretty young. So were you like new in the career? 

Callie: No, actually that I had started working when I was in high school. I started working all throughout. The rest of my education working at a school.

And it was actually working with pre K students when I became pregnant, so, definitely it was a shift. Like I said, something I wasn't, I wasn't prepared for as much, but definitely my background helps. I do you think, for sure.

Krissy: Absolutely. I was a middle school and high school teacher, but I started in elementary school and having just the knowledge, the base knowledge of child [00:09:00] development really helps. With, with understanding and being calm and patient through some of the really tough moments. So that is a huge benefit to your parenting.

Mm-Hmm, because it's a huge transition anyway. Nevermind doing it on your own. Wow. That's a lot. Did you always know you wanted to work with young kids? 

Callie: Yes. Yeah, I did. My mom was one of 13 kids. Whoa. And I have 3 siblings, so, we just always had a big family we were always around kids.

I was always the one at family gatherings that would take the younger grandkids and play with them and make up little activities, the things to keep them busy at family functions started babysitting when I was really young. So, always having that feeling of responsibility with children. Might sound odd, but just feeling like if there was a kid lost and there were situations that I was at a store department store and a kid was lost.

I would stay [00:10:00] with them. I just always felt that on my heart. To just look out for kids just kind of an innate thing and I just think it goes back to my family experience and just how important kids were to the family and just, just those experiences, those early experiences and those early bonds.

I had a really. Special babysitter really like a part of the family as a kid mom stayed home with me until I was about four and then I'm a very sweet babysitter to take care of me. And those bonds became my family. So. It was always important to me to be that for someone else as well. 

Krissy: You must have a really nurturing spirit.

You're probably that person that the kids just run up to you in public or at the park to show you the cool little rock they found without even knowing you or anything about you. That must be really special. 

Callie: I, I [00:11:00] do love it. I always tell people The truth is that preschool teacher is not financially rewarding.

I mean, it's not that's just kind of the state of things. I wish there were some different systems in place where schools could get more funding to pay teachers more. And some of those things were put in place, but it's not financially rewarding, but it's definitely spiritually rewarding just to have that impact and care for other people.

And just. Help bring them up. So definitely the nurturing aspect is that I get very teary with my students. I get very attached 

Krissy: I bet yeah saying goodbye Seeing them grow up and move on. It's so it's so bittersweet for sure And I agree with you the money in teaching especially early ed It's you don't you are definitely not doing it for the paycheck.

You're doing it because it makes you happy now I know that some of your experience showed you exactly what that might mean, right? You had a prior [00:12:00] experience that it maybe made you make some more sacrifices in your life to be happier. 

Callie: Yes, yes before I had my son and I was trying to take that next step career wise, and I was approached actually, I was approached at a teacher conference to work for a school.

Yes, wow, 

Krissy: that must have made your heart so happy. That doesn't happen often in education. 

Callie: It did, and I was very excited about it. It was a very pretty looking school. It's very fancy, had all the bells and whistles, and I doing it for so long, I already, you know, I knew it was going to be kind of a smoother transition.

You knew what to expect. And what would be required of the job and once I got there, I thought it was very nice. It was very exciting and very enticing. But once I was there day in day out and started seeing behind the scenes, I just was not happy the cafeteria, they started running [00:13:00] out of food by the second group of lunches.

And so the kids, as they were dipping on the kids plates, they started dipping little and little, littler portions and that alarmed me. And so I talked to my boss about that and you know, they said they would fix it and rectify it. And then the next day, there was a situation with a little boy who had an accident and he'd soiled himself.

And they would not help him get cleaned up. They sent him by himself to get cleaned up. And again, this was before I was a mother, but still, it was very upsetting to me. And they said, well, you know, this is just, we have to protect ourselves. We can't go in the restroom with him. And this is a very, like I said, a very fancy

school. So, I, of course, I cleaned the boy up and asked another teacher to watch, be present, you know, to just keep everything safe, but I just didn't feel right sending that little boy [00:14:00] home like that to his parents at the end of the day, and I just couldn't live with myself. So, there are other little moral things.

Things that popped up and I did not last very long because I just part couldn't handle it. The grass is not always greener on the other side. Sometimes the thing that looks nice and looks like it's going to be awesome. It's not. And so that then that became my passion was to educate parents to make sure that they were doing, Drop in checks at schools and things like that, and just checking up on those facilities and making sure that they were the right fit.

You know, I can't I can't have everybody's kids in my classroom. That's too many, but I will help parents understand. What what entities they can go to and what precautions they can take to make sure when they choose a school that it's going to be a safe school for their child. 

Krissy: That's incredible. Wow.

What a great mission to have. Do you have any tips from off the top of your head [00:15:00] of questions you can ask or things to look for in your interview process when you're looking around. 

Callie: The 1 thing is as a teacher is hard, but I always tell parents sneaky, but drop in because if they know you're coming, they prepare for you to be there and everything can look nice and tidy for that

30 minutes or hour. So kind of drop in on unscheduled visits. I also, we always ask about disciplining. How how do they discipline the class sizes types of things. And I have had parents ask me specifically. What would you do in this situation? I got interviewed like that to become a teacher.

And so I think that it's only fair for parents to ask those questions when picking a school or picking a program. I think it's only fair to ask those questions. And again, of course, depending on your state licensing is the best. Yeah, really?

Krissy: Yeah, that does a lot of safeguarding for you at the [00:16:00] very beginning of it all because there's certain requirements to meet. But the idea of asking questions about specific situations, because, I mean, everyone knows their child best and. I'm sure every parent has that anxiety piece about whatever that unique thing is for their kid and the behavior thing that keeps popping up or whatever that you're a little embarrassed about and you're not really sure if you're handling it right, asking somebody else how they would handle it knows if it sits well, specifically with your kid and your heart.

So that's a great suggestion. You got out of that situation fast, right? Now tell me about where you are now. 

Callie: Yes so, so now I am at a very small town. It is actually our, it's our family it's a family business that we have a little, yeah, it's a little private, play based, nature based school and I call it our schoolhouse because it is.

We turned a actual house. Into a school so, yeah, it's a very small town. It's [00:17:00] very, we're in a very small area, very country area. So it's very different. It's very different than the norm and it challenges a lot of standards and I have a lot of open communication with my parents, especially meet the teacher so they know what to expect because I do things.

A little differently in education world for where I'm from. This is my hometown where I grew up. So we just moved back here to pour more into this program and have that small town, slower paced life for our boys. So we're really excited about that. And just, just letting this program take off. We started a homeschool class as well.

So now, yes, so now we can pour into. The older children of the community as well because there are people that are homeschooling. In a small town where I'm from, typically, you know, as soon as your kid turns 4 or 5, they're going to pre K at public school or kinder. So this is a [00:18:00] new thing.

We're seeing a wave of homeschooling groups and I'm, I'm just really excited and really encouraged to pour into that. And become more of a part of that and and offer that to the community. So, it's a very small, warm environment and I just love it.

Krissy: That's great. Yeah, I agree. There's waves. I think everywhere I've ever since lockdowns.

I think people are seeing that there's just other ways to do things. There's other ways to raise your kids and it doesn't have to be whatever idea that you had in your mind and the stereotypes aren't necessarily true. Everything's the way you want it to be. That's really cool that you're offering that for parents and I totally understand what you're saying of things might be look a little different, right?

 If you're not giving a worksheet or you're not practicing writing your letters at an early age, that could be a little jarring for some people, but it's not all about that. I mean, your kid will read and write and they will. All these things. It just might not look like what you did when you were a kid or what your vision [00:19:00] is.

So that's really cool that you're helping to open these minds. And what a gift that you can now loop with a lot of these kids. You don't have to say goodbye as often. 

Callie: Yeah, I, and I know some will leave and some will go to public school. And so, I'm, I'm happy for the time I have with them and getting some more tools in their toolkit to prepare them for.

That's fine and the ones that stay, I'm just, I'm happy to have more time with and just see their progress because that is just. It's phenomenal. I mean, we just had our 1st week back and seeing how much they were capable of in this 1st week after being gone all summer, which was just really incredible.

So, definitely what you said about the not showing the worksheets, we do a little bit. I don't want people to think we hate them. We, we do a little bit, but yeah. It is a new thing. And we do a lot of more process art, [00:20:00] so it doesn't look like that cute little back to school, perfect apple or perfect pencil or school bus that you know, that's really for us.

That's really for adults. It's really for the parents and for us to feel good, but it's. The kids aren't learning from them, so there's nothing wrong with it. It's cute. You know, I like to do cute things sometimes, but I really am trying to get these kids to think creatively and have confidence in their creation and their ideas.

Because from my oldest, he did go to public school and was, we pulled him to homeschool. And that was 1 thing that he really suffered from was that feeling confident in his ideas and his own creativity. So, well, we're working on that. 

Krissy: Yeah, the confidence pieces is really hard. I mean, I feel like every parent probably, unless you have one of those super confident, like I could do anything kids it's out there thinking what do I do to help?

And [00:21:00] there's no right answer. There's no wrong answer. 

Callie: It's all trial and error. You're just learning alongside of them. 

Krissy: So you had some unique responsibilities when with your first child. I mean, you were a single mom and that had its own challenges, but you also had a gifted son, right? Tell me about that.

Callie: So, you know, when he was going through that toddler stage I started noticing some behaviors and due to my background, I said, okay, we're, I'm going to get him tested through where I'm in Texas. It's the early childhood intervention program. So they'll do kind of diagnostic tests and just check if anything needs to be addressed.

So we have that done. He's very gifted and you need to do something now, because if not, this could be a behavior problem down the road. He's going to get bored. And kind of already had picked up on that. [00:22:00] So we enrolled him in some different additional programs. You know, like I said, as a single mom, so that was finding the money and the time to do these extra things with him.

And, and he was, he was needing that. So when I say gifted, I mean, at two years old, he was reading letters and could read the words and yeah, so he would say, oh, mom, that's Africa and he could spell Africa. He could read the little signs that I had his little decoration signs in his room. He could read excavator and spell excavator.

Yeah, had like a fresh too. So, yes. So, there are the different challenges of, you know, challenging him and creating more opportunities for him and supplementing his education as much as possible. And sometimes, you know, that look different, and sometimes I got tired. He would ask questions all of the time, all of the time.[00:23:00] 

And so, at one point, we're going to play therapy and they said, why don't you tell him he can have this many questions for the day. He gets 5 questions or 10 questions because he was so bright or questions. I didn't know the answer to. And so, because of his gifted mind, he would ask me in the car and I wouldn't have access to a book to look it up.

So I would say, we have to wait and we get home. We will look this up. So, I created, and this is again, 2 years old, I had a list on my phone, or I would jot a list down of his question and we would, when we had the chance, take the time to look through every question and look it up. So it was a lot. 

Krissy: Yeah, it's a lot.

That sounds a lot like my 3 year old. And yeah, it's exhausting and they don't take, they know when you're bluffing, they know when you give an answer that is like, just a, I don't have time for you answer like, and when you're actually thinking about it and giving them the honest answer. And [00:24:00] I don't know how they know the difference, but they do so 

Callie: tiring.

It was and Really, I, you know, I talked to people now, it did not set me up well for the other two when you, when you're first, it's so, I don't want to say it was easy because it wasn't, but I didn't have those learning developmental challenges like I ended up having with my second. So it was a very almost whiplash shift to have a child who is, you know, speaking in full sentences, asking questions, reading, spelling.

Words at two, and then you have my middle child who wasn't speaking at two. 

Krissy: Wow, what a shift that must be and like, I, I feel like for me with my second, I don't notice the milestones as much just so busy that question like, did I miss something? What did I do? And that must have been really hard on you.

Callie: Yes, and we're still living through it. You know, he's still, [00:25:00] he's still playing catch up so to speak. So we're still, we're still in that and we still will be in that. And, I mean, that's just the reality of having multiple children, and they all progress at their different stages.

Krissy: You didn't miss anything or do anything wrong.

There's nothing you can do to affect somebody's development. It's just these are the questions that go through our mind our intrusive thoughts that like, what did I do? 

Callie: Right. 

Krissy: But that's great that you have him in interventions and you're working through that.

Callie: Yes, those ladies that helped 

Krissy: us were incredible in those early times. So you had one, one child, and then you have a pretty big age gap after that, right? Your next are now four and two. So tell me about your experiences with this like second wave of kids and your sibling transitions and whatnot.

Callie: Yes, big, big age gap with the 1st 2 like I said, because of being a single mom and then when I met my husband, wanted to take some time before jumped [00:26:00] back into that again. So my, my little 2, they are less than 2 years apart, which I related so much to you speaking and Reem, both of those episodes are related so much because, yes, yours are 19 months apart.

Right. Yeah. Yeah. And she said hers were 21 months, which is my age gap is 21 months with my, my last two. That's interesting. Still is interesting. But my, my middle, he was I was pregnant with him. and teaching preschool, when we went home for March and spring break and never came back during during 2020.

so, March of 2020, I left my class for spring break and then didn't come back. I was scheduled to have him a hospital with a traditional doctor and all the things, and because of the state of the world ended up having him at a birthing center, which was a really great experience. I loved it and it totally changed my outlook on [00:27:00] that.

Having him during that time the developmental delays and his, the medical issues that he's having they took a little bit longer to diagnose. He ended up having a cataract. They weren't sure if he was born with or developed later on. So he ended up having a cataract and having eye surgery when he was one.

1, that was 1 years old. Yeah, and that was right before I was due with my, my baby. So, yeah, it was quite a lot. It was quite a stressful time and, you know, there's always that that mom guilt feeling because it went on for so long that we didn't know he kept bumping his head on the same side of his face, he would bump his head and it was his eye.

It was turned off. He had no red eye reflex. So no light was passing through the eye. Yeah, so we [00:28:00] had the surgery and he was bandaged up after that. He was not able to go outside, which is a big thing for us as boy moms. Right. To not go outside for a month was really challenging. And after that point, he was he's supposed to be patching or he patches on his eye.

Good eye to strengthen his weaker eye. So doing all of that with a newborn and older brother. And so that was that was a big shift. 

Krissy: Yeah, and keeping a bandage on and clean and all of that. Whoa. Oh, my gosh. Wow. You just had the punches rolling, right? Your first one, you had your own set of challenges.

And then this one, it's like a whole new world of things. And like, they can't talk to you. And even if they could, they don't know that they're not seeing clearly. You know what you're doing. Right. And yes, at [00:29:00] 

Callie: that time, he still wasn't communicating. He was communicating in like screams and grunts. So, yeah, the screams and grunts were his form of communication and he would make this little sound.

And so everyone thought that he was calling them mama, because it would just be the short, a short m sound. And so I waited, we worked hard. I waited for me to be mama, and I can't recall exactly because that time is a blur. But when he finally said, yeah, Mama, clear, you know, just to me, that was my name.

Oh, because I've waited for that for a while. 

Krissy: Yeah. Really? And you probably had an inkling, like other people are saying, Oh, he's saying Mama. I'm not so sure this is super intentional with that. So that must have been hard to communicate that or just keep it in or whatever choice is best. How did you find out [00:30:00] about the cataract?

How did you ultimately figure out that was what was going on? Because, I mean, bumping your head into the table, that's pretty normal in my world. 

Callie: Right, right. Well, it was, it was always the same side. So it wasn't just one time. It happened numerous times. And it would always happen on the same side of his body.

When he was born, That first checkup, you know, the first checkup you go to where you're like, you're just given birth to a baby 2 or 3 days ago. And at that point during covid, your spouse was not allowed to go with you. So, I was by myself, I was exhausted and everyone's masked up and it was very hard to read

people, body language, even here, it was kind of hard to hear people with a mask on. So I had to address the concern with the doctor. That his eyes like oozing a lot. His eye just looks, you know, something doesn't seem right about his eye and they weren't concerned. They said [00:31:00] it was fine. And so every appointment after that, because as infants, they do go a lot, they go pretty much pretty much monthly and I was nursing and I have big babies.

So, they do kind of lose a little weight beginning once they adjust after birth and everything. So I was going for weight checks pretty frequently. And I kept saying something is off with this. I, it's, it's oozing. I'm not sure. It just seems kind of kind of off and they, you know, they kept telling me it was fine not to worry about it.

 Helicopter mom or something and finally, I had seen a different doctor . I was pretty upset and pretty emotional by that point. And said, listen, I. Something is wrong with this eye, I know that something has to be wrong because this doesn't seem normal to me. Something seems wrong and it's a different doctor checked his eyes and said, you need to go [00:32:00] downtown.

I'm going to call them. You need to go tomorrow. Where we live, that's our downtown is the big med center. They made an appointment for me that next day with the chief of ophthalmology. Yes, that point. I was very worried. Yeah, yeah, because they didn't, they don't tell you, they won't tell you anything until they know for sure and did the testing and said, okay, this is what it is and we need to schedule surgery before he loses vision.

Right. In that eye because it's a timely thing for them. So, that's that's the whole story. 

Krissy: Big takeaways for other people here are. Like for me, it's a trust your gut and switch doctors if you aren't feeling like you're getting it because people feel stuck. I mean, that was a message in another episode for me too, is you feel like connection or you, you just feel like you should keep going with it because I get it.

Like there's a lot of weird things with newborns and babies that are just all normal. There's so much. [00:33:00] Right. Bye. Yeah, the time the doctors are right that it's, it's probably nothing and normal and, but yeah, good for you for getting another doctor and a second opinion, because that's not easy to decide to do that.

So good for you. 

Callie: Well, and I did feel like a new mom again, because of the big age gap, I felt like I started over. So, well, maybe the doctor's right and I need to just watch it and let it go, but I did struggle with feeling angry towards that facility and that doctor for a while. I've let go of that.

It's easy to let go of now in the moment when you're very pregnant, you have a 1 year old. So he's like your baby. And seeing them in that pain those emotions are natural and they were going to come up. But now that we're years past it even though it's still not, it's still not solved, he will still [00:34:00] potentially have to have another eye surgery.

They wanted to wait a while because of the just putting a child under anesthesia so young. And so they they want to wait a while, but he could potentially have eye issues for the remainder of his life. So it's not that's not over. But seeing how well he's thriving now, it's a little easier now to let go of those feelings.

Just focus on him. I feel like that's the biggest thing I've learned in motherhood is once you kind of tackle one challenge, you're have a breather and then the next one will pop up 

Krissy: onto the next thing. Right? Keep it coming.

What do I do? Hopefully you get that breather at the very least. Tell me about your third child. So you've had two like huge transitions in your mothering that, and what, what about like having a third baby with all this? 

Callie: So, oh man. my baby. He is, he is the, he is the wild one. [00:35:00] Yeah. Well, the way you were talking about your three-year-old being the escape artist and being able to do every lock.

And not being able to talk deeply to other moms that play dates. That's my third . He's a spitfire, as we say in the south. Yeah. It was so fun. I mean, so close in age. I mean, they were both in diapers. Remember when my, when the baby was born, I took little side by side pictures of them, both of their little diapers, because it was like, I had a really big baby and then a tiny baby.

But he has just, he, he is great. I mean, he's wild and, it presented its own challenges, you know, adding a 3rd child. He is just. I mean, he fits in our family the way his personality is. He is so resilient. He is so tough. He is. You know, he has my most hospital visits [00:36:00] and E. R. visit child. At two, at two. But it's been I always tell people things got crazy when I went to three.

I feel like, you know, everything was cleaner and more organized. Now with the third, as you say, we just embrace the chaos. Yeah, that's what we do. We, we definitely just embrace the chaos and his personality, though, just brings something to our family. So it's, it's funny. He, he never meets a stranger.

And that's 1 thing. I have, I struggle with anxiety. My oldest has a touch of that as well. And so. My, my baby, the littlest one, he pushes you out of your comfort zone. He will make you talk to people. He will make you socialize because he is. Such a social little being, so it's it's really fun to [00:37:00] to have that in our family and that part of our dynamic and push us out of our box a lot.

Krissy: That's so special. I love hearing that. I mean, right now, the idea of a 3rd for me makes my skin crawl because mine are both still so young with the close age gap. But I'm literally like carrying both of them into stores, you know, I get the look, that's why I have two arms and I get the, you know, the old men laughing at me.

Things like that. Oh, your hands are 

Callie: full. I hear that a lot. My hands are full. My hands are full. Yes, they are. 

Krissy: They are. Would you get that door? Thank you. 

Callie: Right. 

Krissy: So yeah, idea of a third freaks me out, but I can see how when one of them is older how more accessible, but it just sounds like such a beautiful addition to your family.

That's That's fantastic. 

Callie: And he's so much like my first. 

Krissy: Oh, 

Callie: yeah. Yeah. So our little our little joke between my [00:38:00] husband, myself, is that it's his chance to see my oldest at this age. As the years that he missed out on, because they're almost like, copy cats have each other. So I said, oh, the years that you missed out on, you're getting to see those now with the young son.

So, it's definitely it is you have, they have a little bond. So it's really fun to see what they bring out in each other 

Krissy: How does your nine year old do, I mean, he's got this great relationship with the youngest, but how does he do with having baby brothers?

Is that a challenge for him? Is, is he embracing it and taking on the role? What's that like? 

Callie: I think it's definitely had its ebbs and flows. He begged for a baby. He wanted a baby sibling so badly when he was younger. He was so sweet and he was such a help because no one was around during that time.

My family, only my mother and father would come visit me when I had my middle child just because of the state of [00:39:00] everything. So he was such a big, sweet helper. He would hold him onto the restroom Or if I needed to put a load of laundry and he would hold him and it was very sweet. So I think it just ebbs and flows.

He definitely likes the baby stage a lot. Yeah, I think he loves the baby stage. But it just, he has different things he likes to do with them. And yeah, it's he very much loves his time. Every evening we have a little time with just him. After the younger two go to bed. So, we're making sure he gets that 1 on 1 time with us.

So in his eyes, I mean, I think he loves it because he's that independent older 1 and he gets the different freedoms and he still can play with it. So, it's, it's really. It's really sweet to watch. 

Krissy: That really is special. So your parenting style, seems like it adapted with all of these different things that you've had come at you.

Right? You've had different experiences in teaching and then you had very different experiences with [00:40:00] your boys being born and coming into parenting. And I think you and I have it in common where we learned about safe co sleeping and, and those kinds of things, because maybe you didn't.

My experience with it is that first, my first was born and you know, I was very, no co sleeping, this is not safe. But then I would wake up And he would be still in my arms in the middle of the night. So I was like, I better learn about this because I don't, I know that this is definitely not safe. So I did a little research afterwards.

Tell me about how you kind of came into your style of parenting. 

Callie: Right. Well, when I was pregnant with my first, I did all of the things. I went to the new baby class and I went to the breastfeeding class and, To learn all those things before he was born and then when he was born, like I said, being a single mother, I was tired.

I was tired. And like you said, I would fall asleep holding him. And so I did the same thing research and ended up co sleeping [00:41:00] and that was the best way for myself to get rest. And it did also help with like postpartum anxiety. Honestly, I think every mom kind of had that, it's that fear of something happening to them.

It's just that overall, just that really big gush of, I need to protect this this is my duty. This is my heart. This is my child. I need to protect them. I don't want anything to happen to them. So, it helped me for him to be sleeping in the same room with me. And, yeah. We, we just both got better sleep. So I think that attachment parenting really came about because for 1, I was solely making the decisions and for 2, it just helped me sleep him sleep and just us get a full night's rest.

Because it's newborn stages. You know, you're waking up so much to nurse or bottle feed them and change their diaper and put them back down. And I'm the type of sleeper when I get up and move [00:42:00] around a lot. I can't go back to sleep. And then also with baby wearing.

So baby wearing that was pretty much born out of again. I intended to these are things I wanted to do, but in the practice of them, how was I going to cook dinner? Right? How was I going to do laundry or go to the grocery store or something like that? So baby wearing really helped with that piece as well.

Just definitely a lot of those attachment parenting type styles were born out of it just being with two of us in our home. 

Krissy: Yeah, I totally can relate to that because like I never really looked into attachment parenting and I still don't really know a lot about it as a term or as a philosophy.

Pretty sure that's what I'm doing, you know, just like out of necessity. I'm, I'm like, I pretty much exclusively co, co slept with my second one because I knew how tired I was with my first and having a toddler, I couldn't do that. So my husband and I, we, I just [00:43:00] like slept in the nursery. We kept a bed in there on the floor and he, he's never slept in a crib.

It was just, A floor bed from the start. And and I, baby wore everywhere and he was gigantic. So I went through every baby carrier under the sun and really wrapped myself into that world, like literally. And I learned just like so much about it until I found the right fit that, I mean, he didn't take a nap by himself until I think he was like eight or nine months old and he just wasn't able to nap in a carrier anymore because he was just too aware of things.

And even now, ever since they were on the same nap schedule, you know, my oldest one doesn't always nap We just snuggle up on the he's old enough to do that now. So But yeah, it makes things so much easier if that's your lifestyle if you're just around with them all the time 

Callie: Right, it really does and I mean there's so many benefits to it.

There's so many benefits to their developmental Physically developmentally with that, he [00:44:00] was crawling earlier. He was walking earlier and I had family members who said, oh, you're carrying that baby all the time. You're not getting him the floor time. You know, I'm a very old school. Aunts and actually, there is scientific research that says their body being held in that shape and their legs in that position strengthens their core, their core muscles.

So, it actually benefited and helps me from a nursing standpoint to, like, if they're close to buy you, your body makes more milk and your body is more relaxed. So, it just not only helped him, but helped me as well. 

Krissy: Right. And the other people, they don't see the whole picture.

I have neighbors who only time they ever saw me with a newborn was when I was wearing him, except for like maybe the five times I ever had him in a bassinet, a stroller. But you know, I had a neighbor say to me, I forget what the judgy comment was, but it was something nasty.

And I was like, what am I supposed to do? Just [00:45:00] put them down in the middle of the street here. You're like, we're out. outside. What am I going to do? And what they don't see is all of the floor time they're getting in the house while you're playing and doing things. You're not 100 percent of the time wearing that kid.

They're getting their tummy time. They're running around, rolling around and doing their things. So it's, it's a full picture. It's not, what's the alternative to wearing them? You're not just going to put them on the kitchen counter. You know, it's just, it's a funny, funny thing to try to judge on. 

Callie: It is. It is.

And they were just, like I said, they were tools. It was all tools to maintain myself and make myself feel rested and healthy and energized. And that's, I mean, that's how we ended up co sleeping and that's how we ended up baby wearing. And it does, it helps the mom. It helps you feel more like yourself and be able to do the things you want to do and enjoy the things you wanted to enjoy.

So that way you can just preserve yourself and keep that time to where it's [00:46:00] a, it's a good memory and something, you know, it's a sacred time. 

Krissy: Absolutely. Now, talking about taking care of yourself and having, you know, that extra time. I love to talk about favorite go to easy low prep activities. And I love the one that I think you're going to talk about right now.

So tell me about your favorite go to activity. 

Callie: Okay, no pressure. I hope it's the right one. So on, on the go you know, at home versus on the go, it's different, but on the go, we bring tape everywhere. Just cheap rolls of tape. We bring it everywhere.

We're a big road trip family. I have never been on an airplane with my husband. I'm not sure if we ever will. Okay. We drive everywhere, we camp we drive everywhere and take the boys that's something we really like to do, but we, I always have my little mom go bag, I call it my little entertainment bag, and I pass things back to the kids and tape is such a big hit.

The little fabric measuring tape is [00:47:00] also a big one. Oh! Yes. So you can get those for less than 2 and it's very hard to hurt someone with that. So, you know, with lots of boys, you have to always make sure, okay, is this safe? That's a fun one for long road trips. And then just tape. They love tape, especially toddlers.

They love tape. They want to stick it on everything. Or if you stick it on their shirt, they love to peel it off. That's a good idea. Yes, yes, they love that. So that's, that's really fun. And again, inexpensive. It's not going to hurt anything. It's not going to damage anything. I know I'm queen of the messes.

If you look at my Instagram, my middle son calls me Messy Mama now. Oh, cute! That's my new nickname because when he sees me prep our little activities that we do, he says, What are we playing today, Messy Mama? And it it's adorable. But tape is very low cost. Everyone's got tape. It's [00:48:00] not going to hurt anything.

You're filling out paperwork at the doctor's office. Give them some tape. And then restaurants, my favorite is the straw wrappers, the paper straw wrappers. 

Krissy: Yes, 

Callie: to roll them up and create everything we've made snails and worms. Create little stories to go with it, because I really teach my boys. I really want them to be respectful of the surroundings they're in.

So I don't want them playing with something that the wait staff is going to have to reset or restock that would be disrespectful in that way. So the straw wrappers, they're already there, you know, so playing with those and making little creations out of those, that is a favorite for restaurants, for the restaurant.

Another one we'll play is what's missing. So we close our eyes. Yeah. And that you can have with, you don't have to have anything, just whatever's on the table. And then we close our eyes and we'll take something off the table and then they have to guess what we hid. [00:49:00] 

Krissy: I love that. Yes, 

Callie: that's that's a good one.

Can you tell I like to go screen free a lot? 

Krissy: Yeah. Yeah, I love it. That is such a good one. I want to use that. I feel like all the time that my boys love playing hide and seek, you know, in the fake way where they're like telling you like you hide there. I'll be right back. So I think that's such a cute one.

We love tape too. I have all the colored tapes and I've never thought to bring it on the go, but I'll put it on the walls throughout and they have to go do a scavenger hunt or sometimes they'll just make a collage type picture out of it. And it's really fun. They love pulling it off of things and messing with it.

So. That's a great one. That's so good. So for our next piece I love to give moms an opportunity to feel like an expert and give some advice because we want to give that advice all the time But it's not always welcome in [00:50:00] our lives. Our family and friends don't necessarily want to actually hear our input so this is a question from Reddit.

It's how to play with my three year old. I know this sounds like such bad parenting, but before you say, just play with their toys, let me clarify. I'm looking for ideas for my son and I. I work and take classes full time. I've recently been in an emotional rut. in my very tired after work, but still want to get in some solid connection time with my three year old.

He cooks and cleans with me and enjoys doing it, but I'm looking for ideas for playing and interacting in fun ways with him. I'm not really creative nor imaginative and get bored quickly when playing with his toys with him. I obviously still will play because it makes him happy, but I'm wondering if there's any tips or activities that are also fun for parents.

Whoa, what a big one. 

Callie: That's huge. That really resonates from my time with being [00:51:00] a single mom because I, I was very tired and you don't have that other person to tag out to to help with that. So, I think what she's already doing is great incorporating them. It's, it's great. I mean, my, my 9 year old has so many great.

cooking skills because he was involved so much in that during that time. One little tip I will say is that I like to put something, kids love to be in whatever room you're in, right? If you set up something beautiful for them to play in the living room and you're in the kitchen, they're going to follow you into the kitchen.

So if you set things up for play in whatever space that you're doing, Your cooking or your laundry or whatever in that that's one little tip that I like to do Whether that's magnets on the fridge or the little gears magnets that go in the fridge Recently a friend of mine actually did ask advice It was really nice to give her some and she ended up putting her kids [00:52:00] play kitchen inside her kitchen 

Krissy: Yes, 

Callie: so that was some parallel play where, you know, if she's cooking and the daughter's cooking in her pretend kitchen, she can say, Oh, mom, you know, all the kids do.

Oh, mom, try this. I made you X, Y, Z, and she can pretend. Oh, thank you. And she can still be cooking. But another 1 little 1. Have this like a colander, you just take a colander and let them put pipe cleaners or noodles if you're in the kitchen. So, just little, little ideas like that are great for for that age.

And that stage and trying to be productive, I feel like that's a lot of parents challenges. We're trying to be productive. There's a lot to do outside of your working day and all the things that you have to do cook and dinner ready and clean and do your laundry. So, little ways like that to incorporate play through the household tasks [00:53:00] are great.

And then she's looking for other connection pieces. I used to take my son on a walk when we got home. I know you're already tired. That sounds crazy to go on a walk when you're already tired, but it was so great because it gave us that little connection time. We can talk with each other and just observe what's around us.

And then when we came back inside, we might would. Draw what we saw so yeah, so that's that's really fun. Taking those little pieces or whatever they're interested in. And I also tell people think of what you're interested in as well. If you are interested in something, try to early if you started early it really has the most impact on your kids.

If you show them what you're interested in, that, that's always helpful, too, 

Krissy: right? I love the colander that you pulled out. We try to come up with, like, I call it, let's, let's make a game and I just pull random things like that. And it's like, okay, what's the game going to be? And we figure it out together.

And it sounds, it sounds like it's an [00:54:00] imaginative thing, but it's not necessarily on me. It's on them. We'll just pull these random things that they come up with the cool, like, and now he says it too. Like, I have a game that we can do. And it's so cute. And even finding out. Like your old games, like we play Uno, not necessarily, my three year old does play Uno, but like open handed, but you know, just doing color matching or numbers and, and playing a simple game like that can be a lot of fun and low brain work too.

And like you said, though, getting physical, like taking a walk or. Even playing chase, you don't want to do it because you're so tired, but that's the thing about exercise. You start doing it and the endorphins start growing and, and start to get energized again. So any rough play and energetic movement that doesn't take any mental work to do.

To start rolling or tumbling and playing wrestling of some sort of monster, but it's a huge time killer and it [00:55:00] makes everybody tired in a physical way after, which is great. 

Callie: Oh, yeah, that's really great. There's a lot of great research on that. For sure. I'm glad you brought that up. There's tons of great on that.

And again, before bedtime, you think, oh, we don't need to do that before bed. But actually, there's tons of research on the benefits of that before. bed actually, my, my oldest who was in OT, they said that during his OT that he needed more of that vestibular output. Some of that rough play before bed. So those are those are great ideas.

I think there's a lot of pressure on moms for it to be perfect, or, you know, it has to look like this aesthetic. Beautiful version, I would say perfect is boring and it's not realistic. Right now, if she's so tired and there's a day, all she can do is sit on the floor beside him while he plays trains and just kind of let out a little response when he asked for it.

That's [00:56:00] that's doing great. Like, she's doing a great job. If that is all she can do for that day being physically present. Is the hugest thing. They really just want our presence more than anything. We don't have to come up with the great ideas. And I love that you said that we don't have to come up with the great ideas.

They, their ideas are so much better than ours. And really, and and they just want you there witnessing it. They just want to know that you're watching what they're doing. And you don't necessarily have to grab a person and talk for it or whatever.

You just, they just want you near nearby. So, all all the great tools and all the great ideas are great, but. You know, I don't think anyone needs to take everything as they need to do it, you know, pick and choose and what works and what works for them and it will work for maybe a little while. And then she might have to change it up again.

That's definitely what I see with mine is that we, we rotate. [00:57:00] There's definitely cycles of where every day we're outside all day and then there are cycles of we're going to play with a new sensory event every single day. 

Krissy: Yeah, and then you won't do one again for like a week or whatever, because you're just outside and it's wild.

I agree. Oh, this has been so amazing. You are so amazing. So full of good ideas. I can't believe we've already been talking for an hour. This is wild to me. It's been such a wonderful conversation. Tell everybody where they can find you and get more of your good ideas. Okay. 

Callie: I feel like we could talk even longer.

Krissy: I know. 

Callie: I am on Instagram solely right now. , I'm working on some things right now, but with, you know, a move, three boys, and the school. It's quite a lot. So right now I'm in, I'm on Instagram. It's The Messy Schoolhouse. Which I love, I love our name. I think it's quite a, quite a fun contradiction, if you will.[00:58:00] 

And that is where right now I'm sharing what we do in our classroom, what I'm doing with my boys at home, a little bit of my side hobbies and things I'm interested in. So I share all of that there and projects I'm working on for the future. I will be. Putting out and working on some resources right now, too.

So, because I just, I'm just so passionate about kids being outside learning through play, moving their bodies and it's not being the stagnant sit down at a desk or 45 minutes circle time. I'm really diving into all of that research and working on some things to put out later on. So everything will be on my Instagram for right now.

Krissy: I can't wait to see what you put out there. This is gonna be great. I, I think everybody's gonna benefit from that. Thank you so much for being here with us. This has been great. If you are interested in sharing your story, please reach out to me, you can email me at bold Little minds@gmail.com.

I [00:59:00] am on Instagram, TikTok, Pinterest, YouTube, all the things. at Bold little minds. And please make sure that you subscribe and share this podcast with your friends. If you could take a few moments to rate and review, the review doesn't have to be anything long, just be, this was great, I liked it. And it will really help me to reach other moms.

And so we can share more stories and share our stories with more moms out there. Thank you so much for your time and listening. I am really excited for our next episode and we will see you then. 

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