How This Mom Nurtures Capable, Independent Kids - Danielle’s Story (E15)

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

In our latest episode of the Bold Little Minds MomCast, I had the pleasure of chatting with Danielle, an inspiring mom of three as well as a former teacher and learning behavior specialist. We dove into some incredible insights about the powerful role that play and learning have in our children’s development. Danielle brings so much experience from her background in education, along with a passion for helping parents create joy-filled learning experiences for their kids. I know you’ll love the wisdom and ideas she shared!

Meet Danielle: From Classroom to Full-Time Mom

Before becoming a mom, Danielle was a dedicated teacher with a focus on curriculum and instruction. She’s spent years learning how to support students with a range of needs, from behavioral support to learning disabilities. Later, as a learning behavior specialist, Danielle’s goal became ensuring that every child had the tools and support to thrive—a mission she now brings home with her own three kids!

Finding Balance in Motherhood

Danielle’s transition from teaching to motherhood has been a learning journey all its own. She shares that going from one to two kids was manageable, but when she had her third, it felt like “having 13 kids!” Yet, each new step gave her more insight into child development, helping her grow as both a mom and a mentor to other parents.

Encouraging Independence Through Play

One of the main takeaways from our chat was the power of independent play. Danielle is all about giving kids the chance to discover their own creativity. She has so many tips that encourage independence and boost confidence.

Guidance for Raising Emotionally Intelligent Kids

Danielle has developed some amazing resources for parents. Her social-emotional and independent play guides provide practical tips, scripts, and milestones to help parents support their kids’ growth in a meaningful way. Her approach makes it easy to understand what our kids need and how we can create environments where they feel seen, supported, and ready to explore.

Join the Conversation

Danielle shared that one of her biggest messages for parents is to become their child’s strongest advocate. Kids are incredible little people with unique perspectives, and when we recognize this, parenting becomes an even more rewarding journey.

You can connect with Danielle on Instagram (@steammadesimple) or reach out to her directly for personalized support at steammadesimple@gmail.com.

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And if you enjoyed this episode, don’t forget to rate, review, and share it with other parents who might love these tips! Join me for a bonus episode where Danielle and I discuss our passions in teaching and we hear more from Danielle about her parenting journey.

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For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript

Krissy: [00:00:00] Thank you so much for joining me for the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy. I am a stay at home mom to two young boys ages three and a half and almost two. I can't believe it. And I am here today with Danielle. Danielle is a mom of three, ages four, two, and one.

Danielle is a former teacher and learning behavior specialist. Now she helps parents discover how to bring joy into learning, trusting their child, and helping with independent play skills while also focusing on social emotional learning. Wow. Thank you. Being here with us today, Danielle.

Danielle: Absolutely. Thank you for inviting me and having me. This is, this is so fun and it's fun for us to just kind of connect.

Krissy: Definitely. I love all the content you put out. You're really, your page, if you're not following Danielle, make sure you do because her page is full of amazing, easy tips that you can use without feeling overwhelming, without feeling stressed. So I really appreciate your online presence and sharing that with the world.

Danielle: Thank you. That, that means so much because it's kind of, you know, like the everyday [00:01:00] of like posting and it's just like, I hope that this is someone and you know, it's just, it's nice to hear. So thank you. I appreciate it.

Krissy: Well, we see a lot about how you do things with the kids and the way that you're implementing your learning. But I want to hear about you and your life and what's brought you here to this because that's something as moms we don't get to talk about very often. So tell me, what was your life before becoming a mom?

Danielle: My life before becoming a mom was I, my life was teaching and I. I always like say, I'm like, oh my gosh, if I was like a, like in the classroom right now, I, I would have, I, I was really, really good teacher, but I would have been so much better being a mom, like having that perspective. I'm like, oh my gosh, like that was all of their babies,

Krissy: Yeah.

Danielle: But anyway, I, I poured my life into teaching.

I, I don't, I was just talking to a friend. I, they were like, Oh, it's just so sad how teachers don't make any money, blah, [00:02:00] blah, blah. And I'm like, I'll be honest. I've never looked up a salary. Like I never even like looked it up to know. I just felt like weird getting paid for doing something that I love so much. And so I taught, I started off teaching sixth grade. then I moved to second grade and that was kind of like on my forehead, and I just went from different districts, whether it was like a Title I or affluent area, different states, like I've had tons of experience and, and very diverse roles, and, that's just kind of what I did.

And my husband and I were getting our master's at the same time and, you know, of just our life into that and it's probably a good time to do it before, you know, having kids and stuff.

Krissy: 20s most of the time because there's so much energy and enthusiasm.

Danielle: I know. I know. I'm like, can I get a little bit of like Danielle, like, you know, 15 years

Krissy: No [00:03:00] kidding, right? Oh my goodness. So you started in sixth grade and then moved to second. Wow. What was that? What caused that transition? Why did you do that?

Danielle: I actually was just writing for a magazine today and they were like, who was like your, you know, your mentor. And the person who was like, always believed in me in the education world was my very first practicum cooperating teacher. So like we get paired up with a teacher and she was like, everything I wanted to be, like, she was just amazing.

And she like saw me for me and she wasn't intimidated. Like I was like, Like I dressed up as Thomas

Krissy: Oh,

Danielle: to the kids. Like I was, I was so into it and like obsessed with teaching and like learning and making it fun and getting kids to laugh and talk and feel comfortable and she was never threatened by that.

She was like, Oh my gosh, there needs to be more. Like she was just life giving, you know? And She actually helped me get my first job. Like I, she was my first practicum teacher. We kind of went our separate ways and [00:04:00] I always kept in contact with her. Very like professional. We weren't like friends. And I re she reached out to me when I graduated, which was four years later.

And she was like, Hey, there's this maternity leave position opening up in sixth grade. And I was like, Oh, sixth grade. I want to teach like babies, like little, that's so scary. And she's like, no, you like, you'd be so good at it. These kids are babies. Cause she was the

Krissy: right.

Danielle: And I was like, I mean, sure.

I'll apply. Like that school was awesome. And I loved the principal and all that kind of stuff. So I applied and I got it and it was amazing. Like the kids were, Wonderful. And they are babies, like even though it's sixth grade and it sounds like, like they're just little kids and it was so, it was so great.

I was really, really sad to leave, but it was a maternity leave position. So then I applied elsewhere and I found a second grade position that I liked and I, that's when I moved to second grade.

Krissy: Awesome. Wow. I was going to say that it was interesting because the second [00:05:00] grade and sixth graders, I feel like have a lot in common, right? They've got a little bit of school under their belt. They kind of know how to do things, but they still need a lot. I taught eighth grade for years and then into the high school.

So being around the sixth graders was very clear that these kids needed a lot of work.

Danielle: Yeah.

Krissy: happens again in ninth grade. It's the same thing where all these transitions, but the kids always benefit from that back to basics. And I think that's something we lose as kids get older is. bringing them back and laying those foundations.

It's always important

Danielle: Yeah. And it's like, I don't know. There's just kind of this like whole, I guess like as a eighth grade teacher, I'd like to know too. It's just like, you know, they're, they act like they're cooler and they're tougher and they're older, but like, At the end of the day, they just want to play. They just want to laugh.

They just want to connect. And if you can like see them for them and who they are and each individual, and they're going through all these changes too, and they need that like social emotional support, I mean, it's just amazing what [00:06:00] like they can accomplish. And now my students are in college and graduating and. Becoming doctors and like some have reached out to me and like, I think that's the best part of teaching for me is like the former students and they're like, Hi, Mrs. Mims. And I'm like, Oh, my gosh, like, so crazy. So I

Krissy: college classes and those kids still appreciate stickers and sticker charts and ripping them off, right?

Danielle: yeah,

Krissy: So it never changes. They are always little babies in the root of it. So those sixth graders were very lucky to have you who really wanted to teach that, that root and those fundamentals. So it's a good group.

Yeah. Now tell me about your transition to a learning behavior specialist. What even is that? What is that role?

Danielle: So it's like kind of like a fancy word for like special education. When I went to go back to get my master's degree, I really wanted to dive deep into curriculum and instruction. I guess like, okay, to start like way back is I [00:07:00] actually originally went to school for psychology and then fell in love with like the child development aspect of it.

But anyway having a couple of years of teaching under my belt, I was like, we can't, we can't be like, teaching just one lesson to like 30 kids at times, like, there's, that's, it just doesn't work, so like, I was really into like the, Small, I did guided reading, guided math, and then I was like, we should do guided

Krissy: Yes.

Danielle: like all, like there's just so many different levels, even though there's a bunch of second graders. Then when I went back for curriculum and instruction to really enhance my teaching I decided to also pursue special education because were so many kids who needed behavioral support or they had learning disabilities, or some were even undiagnosed. And like, you know, it takes time to get an IEP, an individualized education plan.

So like I needed to fill that job for them and I wanted to do it right. And I wanted to do right by the parents. I wanted to do right by the kids. And I [00:08:00] wanted to like, Be the best for the kids. So I did it, but I didn't want to leave the classroom. Like I didn't want like to be, I thought about it. I was like, okay, well I could be like a specialist where I have my own little office and I pull kids and I considered it. I had a cop, a couple of opportunities where I was asked to be the special education teacher that would pull kids out. But like, I loved the classroom. I just wanted. I had so many kids with needs, right? And I wanted to be everything for them, I guess.

Krissy: Wow. That's so special. And I totally resonate with what you're saying. I feel like we could take this into a whole, like we need to do a teaching podcast

Danielle: know.

Krissy: this because

Danielle: Yeah.

Krissy: guided math is my favorite. thing.

Danielle: Oh, is it?

Krissy: Oh, yes. So I, as I was a curriculum coordinator for my last chunk of my professional career, I guess.

And I, I implemented a whole, we called it math workshop, guided math, you [00:09:00] know, up through the eighth grade, I was doing workshops with the teachers at the high school to try to help them implement at least pieces of it, because it's such an incredible model of really meeting kids where they're at.

And like, amazing. Yeah.

Danielle: excited that you, like, you said that. I mean, when I started it, it wasn't very common. And so I was asked to, like, lead professional developments or whatever. And there's nothing scarier than going and teaching a bunch of teachers who just want to be, like, at home. And they're like, this girl wants me to do more work in math.

Like,

Krissy: Yeah.

Danielle: that kind of stuff. I loved it and what I actually would tell my sixth graders this because they have like I mean it actually I'm like going all over the place

Krissy: I love it.

Danielle: it starts so young that this like math anxiety happens and like, this feeling of like not being good at math or not being good at science and I was that girl like I was a little girl knowing I was like You Bad at math, couldn't do math bad.

And I was too dumb to do science. And like, I had this [00:10:00] belief with me growing up. And when I became a teacher, I still did not like math. And I was like, I am going to make math so fun for these kids. And it is like, I mean, you ask any one of my students, I hope one of my students sees this podcast and they will say, Oh, Mrs.

Mim's math

Krissy: Yeah.

Danielle: like she, her favorite subject was math. And it really is. I had to relearn the way I learned math because it is. There's so many different approaches. I love when a parent challenges me on like common core math or something like that. I'm like, Oh yeah,

Krissy: Right.

Danielle: it. You know, like it's not about like making it complicated.

It's just figuring out how your child specifically understands numbers and math. And it's like this universal language, but like we can go, we can approach it in so many different ways. So I love math so, so much. And I love teaching math and I'm so excited that you

Krissy: Oh, yes. Seriously. Like I was the professional development person, like going to workshops, teaching teachers, these things like totally love it. [00:11:00] And my number one thing I taught, so I taught eighth grade for a long time with Algebra one and having that, that knowledge of child development is so important because I would meet with parents who their kids were so frustrated and nothing was working.

Nothing was getting it. And I was like, well, let's talk about the development. We're asking these kids to do very abstract reasoning at a very young age, still 13, sometimes even 12, you know, based on the calendar. Yeah. of when the school year started in their birthdays. And I just said to them, you know, someday they're going to put, it's going to be like putting on glasses for the first time and everything is clear and it will work out.

It's just, you know, we're very literal people in our brains and then putting these abstract concepts. It's, It's not that you're can't, you're not working hard. It's not that you don't care. It's just tough. And we can try to conceptualize it and make it these like common core. Like, that's what we do. We try to make it very, very concrete that we can [00:12:00] see and visualize and use.

But at the end of the day, these advanced skills become abstract and it's, it's not the same.

Danielle: right. Absolutely.

Krissy: I love what you said about how IEPs take time. Because I don't know if you saw this too, because I would see kids that very clearly needed an IEP. They needed a support. They needed that extra individualized education. And not only did it take time, it was an uphill battle trying to advocate for that child, help the parents. So as a teacher, I found like I was on the parent's team trying to get that support. Whereas, you know, IEPs are money. So you're fighting sometimes the district to try to get the kids the support they need. Did you find that too?

Mm mm. Yeah.

Danielle: I, I did. I wasn't a very good rule follower with administration and stuff like that. But I, I, I did have some good admin and then I also had some that, you know, it was just very, How it is, [00:13:00] but I, I did work with the parents and one's like a parent. I mean, like now being a mom, I'm like, Oh my gosh, their kid just like got diagnosed with a disability or like they, or like just say that their kid was diagnosed with dyslexia.

Like, first of all, there's like a grieving process that probably goes into this with a parent. Right. And they have to just understand this and then like, they have to fight. for their kid, right? They have to fight for these needs to happen at school, and they have to, like, give that control away, right, from their little baby.

And I tried to be that, and I think I did it a little bit too much, where I think a lot of teachers do, actually, and that's what leads to burnout, because you're, what you said, like, kind of, like, fighting against. And not all districts are like that. And I, you know, I'm a very like, not anti public school at all.

Like, all places are the same at [00:14:00] all. But I think just having a team right? And, and knowing what's the common goal, like, it's like, you know, sure for a legal piece of paper, but the teacher can do changes in the classroom as well. And that's what I would do. I'm like, I don't need a piece of paper to tell me what I legally will do.

I will do way more for your child, you know? And it's like, but yeah, an IEP, it does take time. Just, I mean, you have to collect data. You have to, you know, prove that you have to select one goal. And I'm like, Oh no, we're doing five goals, but it says one, you know? And, it just depends on, I guess, like where you're at and stuff like that.

Krissy: Being on the admin side. I know that it wasn't it wasn't to not give that child support by any means. It's it's you have to look at more of a conservative financial aspect of

Danielle: Right.

Krissy: child need the extra personnel or are the supports that they need something that a teacher could reasonably do.

In the, in their classroom, like is this [00:15:00] teacher not accommodating and differentiating or is this something more? So I, I get it on all aspects of it. 

For listeners who have children with disabilities or fighting for IEPs, like your teachers are likely on your side or can give you some good advice, but there are advocates out there if you're looking for resources for just how to navigate the system because it's not easy.

Danielle: Yeah, in, in one of my guides, which is the social emotional guide, I, I have a ton of friends who've like been in these situations and, and I would write their emails or I would tell them what to say on the phone. So I just wrote scripts and I put them in the guide. So I'm like, if they go through this guide and they're like, Danielle, this is great information, but like, and I put like, if your kid's doing this, here's some like red flags for every like developmental stage, then here's what you can do.

Here's a script that you can have to the doctor. Here's a script you can have [00:16:00] for the teacher. Here's a script you can have for the administration. And I like wrote it like in an email format. that a parent could just use my language because a lot of times, like, I don't know, like parents kind of from my experience of talking to parents is just like they feel like scared and don't want to like, you know, overstep and it's like, you know, let's, let's try and figure out how to make this like a team effort and I think that it, for some reason it gets to like the teacher against the parent sometimes and it's not communicated right.

Krissy: Right. What a hidden gem you have in your guide. That's amazing.

Danielle: everybody who like learns about my guide or gets it, they're like, you're not. Like marketing this, right? I'm like, I'm not a

Krissy: Right.

Danielle: ex. I don't know how to do it, but like, I just like brain dumped every single piece of information that I've learned and research of like social emotional learning.

And I put it into the guide and there's like so much to it. I'm like, you know, it's, it was kind of like a therapy, like journal. Let [00:17:00] me just write it all

Krissy: Yeah. What do I do with all this knowledge now? Yes. I love that. So what an amazing resource. Definitely look into that. Wow. So you were teaching, you were continuing your learning. implementing these in your classroom. What a gift to your students. And now here you are as a mom. Tell me about your journey to motherhood.

Did you always want to be a mom?

Danielle: I always wanted to be a mom. I didn't know what that would look like, and I always knew I would still teach. So it was very different when I decided to not go back to the classroom. So actually moved to Michigan for my husband's job. He's an engineer and he got a really awesome job at Waymo, which is self driving cars for Google. And he, it was kind of like a dream, a dream job, you know, and it kind of like fell into his lap. So we were like, we don't have kids, like, let's just go. And so I worked in Michigan as a teacher, a second grade [00:18:00] teacher. And COVID hit too. And I was pregnant and so I had my first baby in March of 2020 when the world shut down. And it was just crazy. And then on top of that, he had medical needs and it was like, Not a very clear medical like what was actually like wrong with him and it was really like kind of like a god thing for me because He I was like, I don't know what to do. Like I want to go back back to teaching next year I don't want to lose my job, but I need to be here with him And I was like, I don't know and the day I had to make the decision he had to get rushed to the emergency room and I was like this must just be like what I need

Krissy: Yeah.

Danielle: and it was just like the um You know, financially, we were like, let's wait. Two years, then we'll be on a great financial, you know, you could stay home with, you know, other kids or whatever, but this is where I'm meant to be and put all my eggs in this basket right now. And so then I transitioned and [00:19:00] I, I can't even imagine, like, I mean, I have. Most of my friends are teachers and I'm like, I have no idea like how you can teach and then come home.

And I mean, it's so crazy just being a mom in general. And how hard it is. It's so much harder being a mom than a

Krissy: Right.

Danielle: And then to do both at the same time, like, so I I'm where I'm supposed to be and I don't have plans on going back to the classroom, but I'd love to like, you know, go in and, you know, help teachers or do fun activities with students and stuff like that.

Krissy: Right. Once you're out of the classroom, it's kind of fun to dream about all the other things that you can do to support students still or support teachers. It's a really fun place to be. And it shows that you're, You got that ball rolling and those gears go in about what you're going to do and how, and that's, it's pretty incredible to watch.

Danielle: Yeah. Thank you.

Krissy: So you had a child with medical needs as you're becoming a mom in a pandemic. Wow. That must've [00:20:00] been terrifying.

Danielle: Yeah, it was, it was crazy. Like I, I just, we, no one knew what was going to happen. And I've never been a mom

Krissy: Right?

Danielle: And like, even my OB's office was shut down. I mean, it was like, it was March 13th and then the world, like, shut down. There was no one even at the hospital. So like, I didn't know what it was like to go into labor.

I didn't, I didn't have a checkup for like a whole month. And I, I didn't know. So, when I did go into labor, it was like, they were, they were just like, we, it was an emergency, right? Like I almost had a baby on the side of

Krissy: sure. Yeah.

Danielle: it was, it was crazy. And then navigating that I'm like, well, I can't bring them to the doctor two days after because. We don't know what this is and their doctor's office has already been open like I can't bring him for a checkup. He's fine I'm here with him, right? So I had so much anxiety Luckily I somehow got this amazing pediatrician and she was like look I'll meet you out in the in the [00:21:00] parking lot Let's go. So I did like the baby checkups like outside.

Krissy: Oh,

Danielle: it was a wild time wild It was so survival for me. Like, I feel like at times I'm still in survival mode, but that was, like, ultimate survival. All that mattered was that we made it to another day because he, like, couldn't be, like, laid down without choking and so every single day, like, morning just felt so, we just felt so thankful.

We're like, okay, we're, we're another day, another day, you

Krissy: Mm hmm. I can relate to the night anxiety and my child didn't have medical needs. It would just be the night time came and it was it was terrifying of what are we going to do? How are we going to survive this? So with with sleep disorder of some sort, like, Oh, that must have been even worse. Like, Did you have postpartum anxiety?

I don't, I don't want to.

Danielle: I

Krissy: Yeah. Wow.

Danielle: Very bad postpartum anxiety. Very like horrible [00:22:00] intrusive thoughts and it was just, it didn't feel like I was able to control the anxiety and just not have like at one time he had 13 different specialists because no one could figure out what was wrong with him. and like, so we'd go to the ER and, you know, I luckily this pediatrician. Who I would have never been able to see because she's like, so highly wanted. But because of the whole pandemic, she was on call and somehow got my case. So like, you know, that was amazing. she like gave me her number because of his needs. So like I sent her a video of him on a Saturday and she forwarded it to a panel of neurologists at the university of Michigan.

And they were like, get that kid to the emergency room. And, and that was the day I was supposed to like make the decision The going back to teaching and it was just, it was a really, really dark time and I don't even know if I've like, I probably haven't even fully like processed it. But yeah,

Krissy: [00:23:00] Well, how could you? We've had back to back to back kids. It's a lot.

Danielle: I

Krissy: You're probably still in survival mode, but you know, you'll get there and figure it out.

Danielle: Well, you're, you're in the thick of it too. I mean, like young and then boys on top of that, like, and my first son, he's very like typical, like firstborn and he's very like calm and chill. But then like my second born came and they are just like crazy together. And then I had a third boy and it's like, Oh my goodness.

Like they, nothing is safe. You know, you can baby proof the entire house and it's like

Krissy: Oh, they figured it all out. Like my kids, we still have the locks on the doors just because it slows them down. Not because it keeps them out.

Danielle: We actually had to get, like, so on the sliding doors, we had to get, like, those little locks that, like, are at the very top, and then at the front door, we had, like, locks, and then we have one at the very, very top as a lever, because they'll, like, I remember my he was not even two yet, and I'm like, where do you [00:24:00] think you're going?

And he was like, just going for a walk.

Krissy: Yeah. Yes.

Danielle: leave the house. Like, yeah,

Krissy: Yes, same thing. My oldest will come home, like, we'll be at the neighbor's house talking and he'll come home to bring everybody applesauce. Like, he just went inside and did this and brought them, brought them back. Like, when did you even leave? Like, and I feel like I'm a pretty, yeah, right? I feel like I'm a pretty attentive mother, but still, like,

Danielle: I know. I know.

Krissy: they find a way.

It's, it's nice. So. Parents, if your kid feels like they are a little out of control, just know that people with extensive education and background and work with anything,

Danielle: Can't figure it

Krissy: we also

Danielle: Can't

Krissy: can figure it out. And I love when people say, like, my kids love to climb. I'm sure yours do too. Like it's, it's wild. They climb everything and anything.

And we were at my dad's house and he had these bed frames as a fence, whatever. And my little one was climbing one and I said, no, climb this one. It's a little more sturdy. He goes, why don't you just tell them not to climb? I was like, [00:25:00] Oh, there's, there's an idea.

Danielle: but like. They'll still do it, you know, and it's like, don't know, I have a friend and she has like many, many,

Krissy: Hmm.

Danielle: and I feel like I have a lot and she was just like, you know, the best advice I can give you is like whatever standards you have or had, like, let them go. It's like a lot easier to parent when you just like, I mean, people, I know they look at me and they're like, why are you let your kids out without shoes or like with it?

And I'm like, it's just, it's like, It makes my life easier to not be in a constant battle, my battles with my kids. And yeah, my neighbors too, like I have the best neighbors ever, but they're just like, it's really weird. We saw Cason with clothes and he's so cute with clothes on. And I'm like, I know, I know, you know, it can't get them to wear clothes.

And and then anytime we like come back from like a vacation, they're like, it was so quiet around here without you guys. I'm like, I know why we're back.

Krissy: Here we are.

Danielle: Huh.

Krissy: Oh, I know. I had a [00:26:00] conversation, a full conversation with neighbors while both of my children were fully nude. No diaper, nothing. And I'm just like, whatever, nothing you haven't seen. Right.

Danielle: I

Krissy: I hopefully they're not creeps. Like, 

Danielle: Yeah, I know.

Krissy: you can do what you can.

Danielle: Seriously.

Krissy: One was a huge transition for you for so many reasons.

What was it like going from one to two? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Danielle: One to two was a lot easier for me. And I know a lot of people struggle with that. It was very hard going from. Mm hmm. to 1. Just because I mean, we didn't know what we were doing and then the pandemic and then the medical needs on top of that. And then going from 1 to 2, it was, there was a lot of guilt I had associated with like, you know, having a little baby for, and then, you know, my, my toddler. But they're 18. Months apart, like they're best friends. They fight all the time too, but they're, they're best friends. And then going from two to three, I mean, that's like having 13 kids. I'm [00:27:00] like, that is different than two.

Krissy: Yeah.

Danielle: So, and anytime, like, I'm always like, for the last three kids, I'm like always pregnant at this time.

So anytime I'm like talking to someone, I'm like, Oh, guess what? They're like, you're pregnant. I'm like, no, no, no, I'm not pregnant. Like three is a lot.

Krissy: Oh my gosh, that's so funny because the same thing happened to me when my youngest turned around the same age. It was like nine months, right? When, when I got pregnant with him the first time around. So when he turned, my younger one turned nine months, I, I like had this bug, like something needs, I need something in my life.

I'm out of survival mode. I can sleep a little bit more. I'm functioning, but I know I do not want another one of these. So what am I going to do instead? Right. And

Danielle: yeah,

Krissy: was like this identity crisis of how do I figure out fill this now emptiness that's not just taken up by, by literally surviving. Did you feel any sort of identity crisis?

Danielle: I did. I, I [00:28:00] think like my anxiety and like my guilt just. And it's still just like, it's the best to me all the time. But yeah, like that's actually Why I kind of started doing things online. Are you're familiar with teachers pay

Krissy: yeah,

Yeah, so I actually would create resources for teachers to use in their classrooms and I did that like as an outlet to and design and to enhance like teachers learning and like make it easier for them and make it more exciting for the kids and instruction. And it was such an outlet. And I remember I was sitting on the couch with my husband I made, I think it was like 32 cents and I got it on my phone and I was like, Oh my god, like I think I was I was probably like crying. I was freaking out It was like how in the world is a teacher think my stuff's good enough use their hard earned money Which is barely any

right.

Danielle: and they buy all these resources [00:29:00] with their own money And they think my stuff's good enough and I just like it was so Like life giving to me like I was just like, oh my gosh I love doing this and someone wants to pay me for something I created online So then I did that for about a year and that was kind of like a hobby, right?

And then my husband was like, why don't you just like do a website or something and like make a hundred percent of the profit instead of 80%? And I was like, no, no. And then he was like, well, you should, you know, and he, and he kind of like pushed me a little bit and he was like, you could even market it just on media.

And I was like, I hate social media. I'm not doing social media. And I did. And it was funny because I started at like, Instagram in February. And I actually really don't like Instagram, but I saw like a, or social media. And I saw just like a whole different I mean, like when it's like a business and it's more of like, there's just like so many different people out there.

And I'm like connecting with like you and other educators and [00:30:00] other moms. And it's like a beautiful thing. And it, and it could be used for good. So. I started it on Instagram, but the people that I was attracting were parents. And that's kind of like where I shifted gears. So I was like, okay, well, how could I use what I'm kind of doing for teachers and like, how could I help parents?

Because they're their first teachers and their greatest teachers. Like, how could I help those foundational years and make it a little bit easier for parents? Yeah.

Krissy: you just start something to keep yourself busy, to feel like a little productive, and then it just keeps going in different directions that you never even expected. And now it's something huge.

Danielle: Yeah, yeah, no, it's, it's really cool. And it's just like, I mean, there, when I first started, I, people would just say like, Oh, really great. Like, how do you have the time? And I'm like, Oh, it's just like a hobby. Like I do it when the kids [00:31:00] go to bed or, you know, my husband, I'll watch a show and I'll be on my computer and I'll design a product or something.

And I, I have a bunch on. Teachers pay teachers, but I don't like promote it or anything like that. It's just like, if someone wants it, they, they want it. And now I've kind of put the eggs more into the basket of like how to help parents and just keeping that on Instagram. So that's kind of where my focus is. And then I guess like when I did start this Instagram, that's kind of like evolving too. 

Krissy: I, I, I just want to say I, I've saw, I feel like I've seen this evolution in your Instagram page. Like I remember you posted the only, you know, the one thing I remember that you posted that like really stuck with me at one point was a long time ago was making parachutes and like throwing them down your stairway.

I remember that. But yeah, you've completely evolved to something totally different than an activity page now, but I can relate in so many ways where I was posting like I'm doing a kind of preschool at home with my kids where I just do some intentional activities, but I don't really consider [00:32:00] it preschool.

It's just kind of playing with them, right?

Danielle: Yeah.

Krissy: and I was posting the activities that we did throughout the week. Like, this is what we did. This was our stay at home preschool and people like you did so much. That's full on. I was like, Hmm. I don't think you're, this is coming across the way it's supposed to be.

So I did a story that weekend where I was just standing at the water, kids, water, my kids, water table, spraying the hose. Like that's all I was doing. I was just standing there, spraying the hose and they were playing with the water spraying. And I said, watch, I'm about to post a video of me doing this. and put some music to it and I put a caption and it's going to look like I'm doing something really special.

And I promise you this is not, this is a very normal moment. And I'm hoping that resonated with some people of like this. So,

Danielle: should be, if you did it as a story, you should make it a

Krissy: right. I probably should. You're right.

Danielle: yeah,

Krissy: Yeah. Because it's so, it's so important to remember that these are Edited clips of people throughout their day, and if you took the [00:33:00] snapshots of what you do with your kids every day, even if it was just through three seconds, it would look really cool at the end of the week.

Mm-Hmm?

Danielle: I know. And it's like music makes everything like cooler too. But I, I just, I wasn't hitting and I'm like, I, you know, and some of my friends were just like, you know, it's, it's okay if they think that like, you know, you know, you don't have your life together. And I'm like, I know, but I, that's not like the purpose I have. When I first started, I was like, Ooh, let's like make learning fun and show like, you know, STEAM education. Like that can be done at two years old. So I started doing that, but like the feedback I was getting was like, this is amazing, but you're making me feel like a really bad mom.

And I

Krissy: Oh,

Danielle: Oh my gosh, like and I've had I had multiple people say like I could never do and I'm like Okay, so I do not want to come across as like an account. There's enough out there That's like, oh they have their whole life figured out and I don't want to do that And i'm still struggling with like messaging and like how how to come across as like [00:34:00] someone to help so I like took a step back from that and I was like there's enough on to make people feel bad about You know, not being able to do these activities.

And the truth is you don't have to do activities with your kids every day. And even though it looked like I was doing it every day, I really wasn't. Like I was filming like once a week and then, and then I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm not getting my message across. Right. So then I, I was like in this crisis of like, I don't know what to do. So I was like, what's the most important thing I would want to Parents to know. And I was like, okay, I'll start with social emotional learning. And then now I'm just like, let's get back to basics of play.

Krissy: yeah.

Danielle: you know, kids are, I mean, babies are born with this skill and then they get lost and they forget and you could reteach it and parents don't mean anything like by like. I mean, it's just like all good intentions, but then there's like these habits that will form and then kids will learn like lose that like spark and that motivates that intrinsic motivation and I'm just I want to help it back.

I think my [00:35:00] purpose is to genuinely help. And I've seen, I've seen the kids come on the other side of like feeling lost with learning. And then finding the joy again, and I'm like, it's like, almost like, how can I prevent that,

Krissy: Mm. Right.

Danielle: like, kids at, like, eight, nine, and ten, you know, where they're, I mean, there's already, like, little, little, especially little girls who are just, like, not into science or math, and I'm like, that was me, and I'm trying to help, you know, so.

Krissy: Now you, you said something in our little discussion before about kids being so capable, and I'd love to hear more of your thoughts on that. I think this ties in really nicely with that sentiment,

Danielle: You know, the first person that I think of when I say that, and when I, I feel very lucky to have worked with this person. Her name is Rhonda Jenkins, and she is a phenomenal human being. And she's a LMC director. And I got to be like a teacher and like work [00:36:00] side by side with her and it was just like I learned so much and she taught me a lot too like just as a teacher and like how to treat kids and stuff and it's funny because if you just meet her like one time you'd be like wow she's kind of like strict like she's kind of like You know, had, like, all the, she, like, kids in kindergarten are 3D printing, and she has nothing, goes, I'm not touching the 3D printer, they can do it themselves, and she, like, these kids are so believed in, and they, I mean, I just went to go interview her and I should probably post that stuff too.

But like, I'm just like, tell me more. She's like this famous celebrity in the school. These kids gravitate to her. She's like a magnet. She doesn't do anything for them besides believe in them and give them the environment and the materials. She's like, She won't rip off a piece of tape for the kids. She won't type in their thing on the laptop.

She won't do any of it because she believes in them. And these, there's like fifth [00:37:00] graders who are becoming authors because of her impact. And like, she has just totally shifted my perspective. And, like, so, you know, like, how teachers will bring in their class to, like, a computer lesson or something in the library and teachers will, like, help kids, like, type, and she goes, ah, don't, don't touch their laptop, you know, like, you're, you're teaching them this learn helplessness, right?

And, like, she's just, she retrains teachers, too, and I'm sure it kind of drives people a little nuts at times, but she's, you know. She's probably someone like I, I always think of when I'm even with my own kids. It's like so much faster if I just do it for them. But when you, like, say that your kid spells a mess all over and it's like, Oh, just, you know, like just step aside.

I'll just do it. It's like, that's, that is teaching them that mommy can always just do it better.

Krissy: right.

Danielle: Like, even though your kid has like a dustpan and a little broom and they're not getting anything in [00:38:00] there, you just let them be. Because they're not asking for your help, and they feel they can do it, but the second that you're, in all good intentions, yeah, you can do it a lot faster, but they, they're capable of it as well, and that's how they, That's how they learn and that's how they discover and it's like these like little things that we even say to kids of like, Oh, oh, don't put the paint in

Krissy: Mm.

Danielle: will mix. It's like, let them figure out that it mixes. Like, that's such a cool learning opportunity and like, and I'm guilty of it too. And then I'm like, Oh, what would Rhonda say? You know, she would. at me for

Krissy: Yeah.

Danielle: my kids or my students or something. So she's kind of like the person who kind of like retrained my mind too.

I've always believed in children and I've, I was always given by admin the challenging kids because I could handle it, but like, I could just see them and I could have that relationship and that connection with them. And I. I love learning from my students too, but then once I [00:39:00] taught with her too, she just totally helped rewire my brain.

I'm like, oh my gosh, I thought I was like on the right track, but man, like I have a lot to learn from you.

Krissy: Right. I see that so much. Like it takes a lot of foundational work and modeling and showing and, but then setting an expectation of, I'll say a lot to my kids, like you're responsible. I want to see some responsible behavior, but without trying to make it a battle. So like, I have that expectation that they're going to clean up.

But. I'll do it alongside with them, or you turn it into a game or you do these other things. So that way it's, it's not just on them because that's scary when they're that young, like, I

Danielle: Mm

Krissy: this is a huge mess, like it's bigger than they are. So it's okay to help and to turn it into something. But then all along, you know, you can influence what's happening.

Like I'm, it's not that I'm helping you. It's like, wow, look at what you are doing. You are cleaning this part. You're doing all of these. And, and, and then they hear that and it starts to become [00:40:00] real.

Danielle: Right. And it's so true, like making it like a game or something like my kids. I'm like, I don't know what I did wrong, but they despise cleaning. Like, so I have to do all the like tricks and stuff like that. Like, I even bought, In my independent playroom, I just bought like a little, they like buttons.

So I bought this button that like people use it, like bodybuilders use at the gym to like record their reps. And I'm like, every time you clean up something, you get to press

Krissy: Oh, cool.

Danielle: track. Yeah, and it's a big hit. And it's like you, you celebrate those like little things and pray, don't over praise like every little thing, but it's like, You know, making them feel good about it.

And like, there is tons of research out there for kids doing chores and kids having that kind of responsibility and stuff like that. 

Krissy: You've been doing a lot about independent play recently, which is really interesting. I love learning about it. One thing that I've noticed with my kids and I think it's important for other people to hear too, because it can be frustrating when you're thinking my kid won't do this is sometimes I know for my [00:41:00] kids and your kids probably need it too is They need something really directed first, maybe it's really directed gross motor time or maybe it's really directed sensory thing, just something that's heavy work, whether it's physical or mental heavy work.

And then once that's over, maybe that was only 5 10 minutes, they go in and they do the blocks and the imagination comes out and all of those things too. Do you see that with your kids?

Danielle: did when I was building the skill. my kids, like, That's where they want to be. I actually lock the room because I just, I like, they want to do it all day. But when I was building it, I think it's very important for parents to, I say 15 minutes. I'm like, what is like, put your phone down and like, if, and sometimes parents don't like to play like the play pretend and that's fine.

Like, but do it like 15 minutes. Or if you only have five minutes, fine. Give them five undivided. Attention minutes, right? Like [00:42:00] to just do whatever they want to do. Let them lead. You just follow along and like fill that cup of, you know, emotion and connection and quality time. And so that they're not seeking it, you know, in that independent play time.

But I, I think it definitely depends on the kid. Like my older son, he would be totally fine not doing heavy work and just reading a book with me for five minutes

Krissy: Oh, sure.

Danielle: my second born you need to, like, smush him in some pillows, you need to have him climb, like, so it just kind of depends on, like, but I think that, like, what you said right before, like, if you're filling that emotional cup ahead of time and that physical cup, like, That's going to set them up for success.

And that's what we want to do. Right. We don't want to like direct and say, nope, you've got it. You've got to go play, go play, go play. You know, it's like, what can you do like to set them up for this like exciting, successful moment?

Krissy: Right. You can't go into it thinking like, okay, I'm really tired right [00:43:00] now. They're going to go play and I'm going to have this moment. Like you got to put in a little bit of work first to fill those pieces, fill that cup. So that way, and, and it just comes, they just start doing it. You don't have to point them in the direction, you know, sometimes a little prodding helps, but

Danielle: Yeah,

Krissy: Like, giving them the right tools or whatnot.

Danielle: Yeah.

Krissy: I love to ask everybody their favorite go to activity when they need that few minutes and they need something a little more directed. What are your go to things that you present your children with for an opportunity for that, that play?

Danielle: Well, instead of just like saying a tool, I'll probably just go to like an extreme of like a kid having really like low confidence or like You know, scared to make mistakes. I've had a lot of students with like, onset of like, anxiety and even like, experiences with one of my children who can't even draw because they're too scared of like, making a

Krissy: Wow. Mm hmm. Yeah. Yeah. Mm hmm.

Danielle: like a go to activity [00:44:00] me is to, I love connecting through literacy as well. So like there's this little tiny little board book and it's, I think it's called Spilled Milk or something like that. And we just read it and it's like the perspective of like a little, you know, piece of milk and what you could turn it into and what it looks like.

So, you know, using your creativity to see like this like blob, but then it actually looks like a horse or it looks, you know, it's kind of like what you do with like clouds, you know, like you see something in the clouds. And then what I like to do is use chalk and like, let's just draw a blob. What, what do you think we could turn this into?

And it's like, you know, Those are the kids who hate making mistakes, and they're perfectionists at a very, very young age, and it's a very real thing. A lot of kids do struggle with that, and it's like, after they can see like, different world, like, even my son, who is a perfectionist, and he messes up at first, he'll be like, he'll be like, I can make it better, right?

Like, but he wasn't always like that, right? We had to do a lot [00:45:00] of practices with let's just make a mess. What, what does this look like? What could we turn it into? Like, how could we turn it into a game? And it's like giving them, like, maybe you're making the mistake and, like, having them point it out from you.

So I like to kind of tie in, like, the social emotional piece to it but using, Mistakes is kind of like, an activity. And then I guess like for actual tools, I love using just random stuff that like, you know, like how babies go in like the cupboards and stuff and they play with like the pans. Like that's what they're, that's what they like.

That's why there's all those jokes

Krissy: Yep.

Danielle: stuff too. So like the things that your kids want to play with, like Q tips or toothpicks or, and glue, like, let them play with it. And it's like, you don't have to go buy this, like, which So many toys are amazing, right? Like, and they're so much fun, but my kids play a lot longer and have a lot more fun with, like, the everyday stuff.

Krissy: A hundred percent. Yes. If I open up that pots and pans [00:46:00] cabinet, it's a gold mine. I mean, not only are they then playing with the pots and pans, but then they're also going into the empty cabinet and pretending it's their house. Like it's a whole thing.

Danielle: Why is that a thing? Like, my son was in the late, like, you know Lazy

Krissy: Yep.

Danielle: in there. I'm like, how do you get in

Krissy: How did you do that? We'll go to, in the winter, we'll get a Y membership and we'll go to the Y. And in the middle of the day, it's pretty quiet. And their favorite thing to do is go in the locker room and just lock themselves in the lockers. Like it's the same idea. They just love these little, they're them size piece, like spaces.

It's so cute. So fun.

Danielle: So cute. Yeah.

Krissy: Do you have any final words of wisdom to share with us? I can't believe that we've already been talking almost an hour.

Danielle: I know. I know. I feel like we should like have a coffee and

Krissy: Right?

Danielle: teaching. I didn't realize like how much you know, of the education field that you

Krissy: Right.

Danielle: it's really cool to connect with you and I'm like, Ooh, like I'm going to make you go live

Krissy: Right, we'll have to do this again.

Danielle: Yeah. We'll have to [00:47:00] like talk all things math or something like that, but last words, I guess just Be your, be your child's biggest advocate. Like I don't believe that there's a parent out there who doesn't truly want the best. They're just like overwhelmed, overstimulated, or overworked and might not know what to do.

But like kids, and this sounds so simple, but like. Kids are real people and they're like, they have, like, if you look at them as just like this individual, instead of just like this little kid who just needs to learn, it's like, they can teach you so much. And if you really listen and you hear them and you value what they have to say in their own opinions, like. Everything's going to be so much easier and it's going to be so much more enjoyable. And that's when like kids really start to thrive.

Krissy: Where can people connect with you and what resources do you have to offer them?

Danielle: Right now people connect with me on Instagram, which is my handle name is steam made simple. [00:48:00] And then also email, which is steam made simple at gmail. com. The resources I have right now is I have my social emotional guide, which is called raising emotionally intelligent kids. It's really about Figuring out your kids, but like kind of what we talked about, like their sensory profile and what they need and then curating a space to help teach proactively and help your kid through meltdowns and about the red flags and you know, all of the social emotional piece.

And then I also have an independent play guide that walks you through like a research based proven like, step by step guide. That will help a kid if they can play for zero minutes and they will be able to play independently if it's followed and it's consistently followed. And then I also do support calls for parents if they need that as well.

So that's what I have right now. I have like so many projects in my mind. I'm like, I should do a podcast too. That's so fun. But like, I don't have any of that right now. [00:49:00] But just trying to have fun, support parents and, you know, Share as much as I can.

Krissy: I love it. Well, definitely watch Danielle because she has big things coming one way or another, whether she knows what they are or not, they're going to be here in the world before we know it. If you liked this episode, please make sure that you leave a like or a five stars if you're on Spotify or Apple.

Leave a comment or rating a review. Make sure you share with your friends. The more that we share and like this, the more we can share this with other moms who are also looking for a community and a connection. You can find me at On Instagram, TikTok, Facebook, Pinterest, all of the things at Bold Little Minds.

And if you'd like to share your story, you can connect with me on one of those things, or you can email me at Bold little minds@gmail.com. Thank you so much for joining us for this episode, and I will see you next time.

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
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