How (& Why) To Prepare For Second Babies (& Beyond!) From A Nurse Mom with Heather Knezic (E31)

Mom's Guide to Finding Herself
Written By Mom Identity Project

Becoming a mom is one of the most transformative experiences of a woman’s life. Whether it’s your first baby or your fourth, each journey into motherhood brings new challenges, uncertainties, and surprises. In this episode of Mom’s Guide to Finding Herself, I sat down with Heather, a labor and delivery nurse, birth educator, and mom of three, to discuss how she navigated motherhood—even with all of her professional experience—and what she did differently each time.

The Overwhelming Reality of Motherhood

Do you remember those sleepless nights, Googling everything from “why does my baby sound like a pterodactyl?” to “will I ever sleep again?” No matter how much you prepare, those early days can feel like chaos. The truth is, even if you’re not a first-time mom, each baby brings new surprises that throw your expectations out the window.

Heather shared that despite her experience in labor and delivery, she still felt completely unprepared when she became a mom. The textbook advice she once gave as a nurse didn’t always translate into the realities of new motherhood. She experienced firsthand how the hospital environment was vastly different from being at home with a newborn.

What You Can Do to Prepare (Even If It’s Not Your First Baby)

Heather’s journey taught her to shift her mindset. Instead of focusing on what might happen to her, she started focusing on what she could do to shape her experience. This approach completely changed how she prepared for her second and third births. Here are some key takeaways from our conversation:

1. Visualize Your Ideal Birth Experience

Instead of passively waiting for things to happen, Heather actively planned what she wanted from her labor and delivery. She wrote out her goals from early labor to holding her baby, identifying what she could do to influence the process rather than just letting it unfold.

2. Educate Yourself Beyond the Basics

For her first birth, Heather took a hospital birth class with her husband, which was more helpful for him than for her. By her second pregnancy, she knew she needed to go deeper—researching different birth methods, creating a detailed birth plan, and preparing both mentally and physically.

3. Understand That Every Baby Is Different

Each of Heather’s three children had completely different birth and postpartum experiences. She assumed breastfeeding would be easier the second time, but it still came with challenges—just different ones. Instead of relying on what worked last time, she approached each baby with fresh eyes.

4. Prepare for Postpartum, Not Just Birth

One of Heather’s biggest regrets was not preparing for postpartum the first time around. Like many moms, she was so focused on labor and delivery that she didn’t consider how difficult the recovery and adjustment period would be. By her second and third pregnancies, she put more effort into preparing for postpartum, from meal planning to learning about baby sleep and breastfeeding.

Helping Others Prepare for Their Journey

Heather’s personal experiences led her to create A Life in Labor, a platform where she provides real, unfiltered advice for moms-to-be. She now offers courses covering birth preparation, postpartum, breastfeeding, and newborn care—all designed to empower women with the knowledge they need to navigate motherhood with confidence.

For listeners of Mom’s Guide to Finding Herself, Heather is offering 30% off her courses! Simply visit alifeinlabor.com/boldlittleminds and use the code BOLDLITTLEMINDS to access the discount.

Final Thoughts: You Are the Perfect Parent for Your Baby

Heather left us with one powerful reminder: You don’t have to get everything right the first time. You are the perfect parent for your baby simply because you are their mom.

Whether you’re expecting your first baby or navigating life with multiple children, remember that every journey is unique. Educate yourself, seek support, and trust that you will find your own way.

What was your biggest takeaway from this episode? Leave a comment below and share your thoughts!

Help Us Grow

The BoldLittleMinds MomCast is made possible by you - the listener. Your support goes directly into making each episode happen—thank you for being part of the journey!

All donations go directly to supporting the production of the Mom's Guide to Finding Herself podcast

For Your Binging Enjoyment…

31 Video

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[00:00:00] In the episode just before this one, Heather, a labor and delivery nurse and birth educator, shared how even with all of her education and knowledge, she still felt unprepared becoming a new mom. Today, she'll share with us the things that you can do when you're preparing for a new baby, even if it's your second, third, or even your fourth baby.

Or how you can gently help your friends and family members prepare for their birth and beyond.

Welcome to Mom's Guide to Finding Herself, where we share stories of side hustles and surviving while parenting young children. I'm your host, Chrissy Bold. Let's make motherhood less lonely and help you find joy in being you again.

Do you remember that feeling you had when you had your first baby? Like total incomplete chaos. You were up all night Googling things like, why does my baby sound like a pterodactyl or will I ever sleep again? And then there's feeding struggles. Like they have no neck control and you're juggling everything, including their head and everyone [00:01:00] tells you it's supposed to be natural, but it feels anything but. You're probably wondering, am I doing this right? Is this ever going to get easier? It's so easy to feel totally blindsided and overwhelmed, like you're in this alone and you're doing it

all wrong, right? But here's the thing. Even if you're not a first time mom, those feelings don't just disappear with the second or third or even your fourth baby. Each baby brings a whole new level of what is happening. You might think that you've got it all figured out with that first one. Maybe you even have that, I got this moment, right?

And then bam, baby number two or three shows up. And it's completely different throwing all your routines and expectations out the window. Your second baby might be a firecracker baby who has been a terror since they were eight days old.

Or you might expect that the third will be easier, and instead it feels like you're going from two kids to 13. Last time we talked to Heather [00:02:00] about this. She's a mom of three, and a labor and delivery nurse, and a birth educator who

despite all of her experience, felt completely lost when she became a mom. The textbook advice that she used to give as a nurse was totally useless in her own reality. She experienced this postpartum fog in the hospital and she had all this help, right? But when she went home, she was hit with the reality of having to make decisions all on her own.

She realized that the hospital experience was nothing like being at home. Just like so many of us she had this thought of am I cut out for this? And in this episode we're diving into how all of that completely changed Heather's professional life.

She went from giving this generic textbook advice to offering real raw and honest support that came from her own struggles and victories.

She gets what keeps moms up at night because she's been there too. She came to understand that there's no supposed to in motherhood and that each baby and [00:03:00] each journey is totally unique with its own set of challenges.

Heather is the host of the labor room podcast and creator of several birth and postpartum baby care courses. Through her courses, her podcast, and her Instagram page, she is committed to helping mothers navigate their birth experience with confidence and empowering mothers throughout their journey. Heather started out by creating a blog to help share her experiences and give a more realistic view of motherhood .

Heather is going to tell us what she did differently the second and the third time around and how when preparing for her second birth she focused on what she could do instead of what might happen to her.

It's like the first time we're so focused on the what ifs that we forget that we're actually in control and there are things that we can do to shape our experience. So listen to all of her wisdom. This is amazing.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: We've learned about how motherhood really changed you and how you figured out where your mothering was going to be and what you, that you didn't know what you knew. But your whole life, your whole job, your whole career has [00:04:00] been helping moms to transition into motherhood. So tell me, how did becoming a mom change your professional life?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: So much in every way, shape, and form, I, I mean, I always loved birth and I always was very fascinated with mothers and motherhood. And so I knew that. Working in maternal child health was where I was meant to be, but I didn't even know what that meant until I had my first baby. And I want to say that I was compassionate and empathetic to my patients before I had a baby, but now looking back, I don't know for sure that I was.

Like, I feel like now that I had my babies, I can relate to them so much more and I can give them advice that actually matters. I think that before, when I, before I had my babies, when I would take care of moms in labor or early postpartum, I would give [00:05:00] advice that was so textbook, right? Like advice that they could Google and, you know, and it was just like, well, this is how, you know, this is how your milk production works, or this is how you know, you're gonna push out your baby, whatever.

It was so textbook. And. Now I feel like I know what actually matters and I know what they're actually worried about and I know where their brain is Actually taking them and it's not Textbook and I think that's why I needed to start my blog and that's why I was so passionate about it because so much information out there is Especially now in the age of AI, right?

Like

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: yeah,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: answers that you get are so perfect and textbook and just cookie cutter. And now at this point, like having three babies and, and having been a labor nurse for 10 years, I can tell them like, listen, You don't have to listen to this piece of advice or that piece of advice because [00:06:00] all of it has nothing to do with you.

Everybody's experience is different, and you're going to have to put together all of the advice that you get into this little basket with a bow that you've created for yourself. And you have to be able to, uh, Create your own journey without feeling like you need to get it all right. And I feel like I say that a lot when I'm working with, with moms now because they hear things like, Oh, if, if breastfeeding hurts, then I'm doing it wrong

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: right,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: because that's what people say over and over again to try to get across the point that, Oh, if, if you're, if you're breastfeeding and it hurts, then there might be a bad latch.

But. But that's so freaking textbook and it's so annoying to me because those words will discourage someone from continuing their journey because it hurts and it's not supposed to. And so I try so hard to like reverse [00:07:00] that and remind people that like there is no supposed to. There is no have to or need to.

It's like, Here's a piece of advice. You can take it or leave it, but there's always something that you can change around to make it fit your life because it's different. And I don't know. I'm kind of like rambling now, but I just feel like that it's just so impactful having your own experiences and being able to be real and raw with someone and tell them the honest dirty truth that like it's not going to be perfect and it doesn't have to be is so valuable to me.

Like I hold that above everything else.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: That's so important because the words that you hear and read, they're so subjective. So hearing that breastfeeding shouldn't hurt. Well, what does that even mean? I

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: is a brand new sensation for you and a brand new skill for your baby. So between the two of those things, yes, it's going to feel different than anything you've ever felt. Does that mean it hurts? it just uncomfortable? You [00:08:00] know, there's, there's these questions that it just feels It feels different. You might interpret that as hurting.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: who's been through it, you can ask more realistic questions and really probe and try to figure out where that goes. So I totally hear that. Now when you had your first baby, did you do anything special to prepare or since you had so much education and first hand experience, did you just go into it?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah, no, I did prepare actually. I'd seen, I worked at a high risk teaching hospital. So I saw the best of the best, but also the worst of the worst. Yeah. And it didn't scare me like I should be afraid of birth, but it did, you know, kick me into gear. Like I have to take the reins in my own birth and I have to make sure that my husband is ready too.

And it's not just me in the room. And so, Even though I had been a labor nurse for two years at the time I took my husband to the hospital birth class [00:09:00] and, and, you know, it's the,

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Yep.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: instructor is literally, literally a labor nurse. So, like, it's not that she knew anything different than I knew, but just being a patient, being a student.

Alongside my husband, I feel was really important to me. And so I did do that, uh, in order to help prepare not, not only like what I know, but just my mental state for being somebody in labor. So I did do that, but I wouldn't say that it was terribly helpful for me, but it was helpful for my husband, I think, to get into the right mindset of like being a support person.

But then. The craziest part is that I went on to have my second baby, and I did so much more preparation than I did with my first, that with my second, I knew what I didn't want. I knew how my first played out, and I was like, well, I don't want that again. So I'm going to actually take the reins and make a birth [00:10:00] plan and make sure I know exactly what I'm going to do in order to have the birth that I want.

So I did things a lot differently then.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Tell me more about that because I'm really curious. I had a really similar experience where my first birth I felt like I knew a lot going in but then you don't know until you know and then you change how you're going to do things. I thought the second time around would be easy breezy but I did so much more research and so much more education. So what kinds of things did you do differently to prepare yourself the second time around?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yep, that's so true. And I hear that every day. I swear, I hear it every day. And being a birth educator who, you know, I host birth courses and I teach birth classes and I try to empower women to, you know, take the reins in their own birth, I constantly try to reach the first time mom. And they are the hardest moms to reach because as a first time mom, you think, well, I'm just gonna.

I'm just going to do [00:11:00] it. You know, I'm just going to do the thing. I'm just going to go in there and go with the flow or whatever we think. I mean, even me, right? As a first time mom, I was like, yeah, I'm going to take a class. I'm going to go and I'm going to participate, but that's it. You know, it's fine.

I'm going to be fine. And then you have your first birth and it's not like anyone prepares to have a traumatic birth. It's not like anyone prepares to have a hard or difficult or long exhausting birth. You don't know. What it's going to be like until you're in it. And then it's too late and it's too late to prepare.

And I, and I feel like that's my biggest struggle as an entrepreneur is that once people realize they need me, it's too late.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Right. The experience happened.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: It already happened. And so most of the people that I, that I reach are our second time moms because they realize. Okay. Like, I, I had that experience and I want it to be different and similar to my experience.

My first baby, it didn't go the way I [00:12:00] wanted it to,

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Yeah.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: traumatic by any means. I think I had a beautiful birth. I enjoyed my birth, but it just didn't go the way I wanted. And so what I did was I actually. visualized the birth that I actually wanted, and I wrote out what exactly that meant for me from, like, the beginning.

Early labor through holding my baby in my arms, what does it mean to have the birth that I want and what needs to happen in order to accomplish that? And then step by step, what can I do? What can I do as the mom, as the pregnant person, what can I do to make that happen? And I think the difference is that when we are first time moms, Taking a birth class or not, writing a birth plan or not, we're thinking about what's going to happen to us, right?

Like, am I going to get an epidural? Am I going to have a c section? Am I going to be induced? Things that people are doing to [00:13:00] us. And instead I switched my mindset and I told myself, well, what am I going to be doing? What can I do to change the trajectory of my birth? And you know, that, that worked for me.

That absolutely worked. It changed everything. I had the most beautiful, empowering birth with my second, so much so that in the car ride home, when we buckled that baby into the car seat and started driving, my husband literally said out loud, whew. That was amazing. Let's do it again.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Oh, wow! That's like, that's exactly what you want to hear with your like, adrenaline and everything.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: that was, yeah, it was adrenaline for sure. And it was just this like out of body experience for both of us. We just were like, that was euphoric. And people think I'm so weird by saying that to say that my birth was euphoric, but it was and your birth can be so incredible. But unfortunately, this like media and just the way we talk about birth makes it like [00:14:00] you aren't.

The driver that you're a passenger and that everything is just up to chance But it's just not the case a lot of the time

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Right. It's so true. Yeah. You can, there's so much you can do going in and it's really powerful that you reach so many second time moms. Now tell me about third time moms. What do you, what did you do the third time going in?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: the third time. I I was almost Just as nervous because I was like, is it gonna measure up?

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Right? Sure! Yeah! Right!

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Like was that a fluke like did I just like get lucky And so I did the same thing. I I prepared the same way as if I'd never done it before and And, you know, my goal is, is to have an unmedicated birth and my goal is to obviously have the healthiest baby and body and mind at the end of it. So I did a lot of mindset.

I did a lot of, you know, physical preparation. I did [00:15:00] a lot of birth planning with my, uh, support person, which is my husband. And I went into it as if I'd never done it before. And I think that's kind of my favorite client is like a third time mom

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Yeah.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: they like it kind of like the newborn thing, right?

Like the first one, you know, is like way to go with the flow. The second one is kind of rigid and scared. And then the third one is like, okay, I've done this before. I just, I know what I want and I know kind of like, my goals, I just need help figuring it out. You know? It's funny. It's, I guess our personalities as a third time mom spills into birth and postpartum, right?

It's so similar.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: It really is. That's really interesting. Yeah, because I would think that, I mean, I'm, I'm not planning on a third baby, but like if I were, I, I right now from where I stand, I feel like it would be easy breezy going through it. But I know that once that pregnancy hits and, and I have an actual deadline or a goal like that's coming, that my mindset would be [00:16:00] totally different of, okay, let's get into gear and prepare for this marathon all over

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Right. Yeah. Mm hmm.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Now, how about preparing for postpartum? So what did you do the first time around knowing that you, I mean, you were educating women on breastfeeding and, and all these things. So did you prepare yourself for that any differently?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: No! I don't know what was wrong with me. I don't know what, where my mind was. I really don't. I don't remember. Thinking about breastfeeding. I don't remember feeling like, Oh, this is something I need to make sure that I learn about. I don't remember feeling that way. So I don't know where my mind was, but I just was thrust into it and breastfeeding hurt.

Guess what?

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Yeah.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Like, guess what? It hurt. And I thought it was really hard. And my, my son had a lip tie that had to be revised. I didn't even know lip ties were the thing. I didn't even know that existed until someone was like, Oh, he has a lip tie. And then he was like [00:17:00] five weeks old when he ended up getting it lasered.

And it did help, but it didn't help any with his reflux, which is like, my ultimate goal was to get him to stop throwing up. But I ended up breastfeeding him for a year. Which was my goal, and so I was happy with that. But then, just like birth, with my second, I actually did a lot more research about breastfeeding and milk supply and latch.

And because I wanted it to be different. I'm realizing as I'm talking to you, I feel like this is therapy. I'm, I'm realizing, yeah, like it's so different. It's, I mean, it's so similar, like preparing for birth and preparing for postpartum and being a first time mom versus being a third time mom, it all fits together.

And I was the same way with breastfeeding as I was with the other subjects. And then with each one, it did get a lot easier. Did it stop hurting? Like with each baby, no, like when I had my first baby, the latch hurt and then, you know, we worked on it and worked on it and eventually it didn't and we [00:18:00] breastfed happily for a year.

The second one, I'm like, Oh, he doesn't have a lip tie or a tongue tie. Cool. Like I'm so lucky. Oh wait, it hurts.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Right.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: have, we have to work on it. We had to adjust. We had to, you know, figure it out. And then eventually it got better. And we, we ended up breastfeeding for 18 months. And then my third. I'm a third time mom.

It should be easy. No, it hurt. And,

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Yeah.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: you know what? It's just there. You can get all the textbook answers you want, but the reality is your experience might just be different. And you got to glow, go with the flow of what's happening in real time, rather than like what people say should be happening.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Right. Because you are the same person going through it. You have the same experience. You now have the muscle memory, you now have all these things, but you have this new dyad. You have this new second part of it who is a totally different person who, like, nursing an 18 month old is so much [00:19:00] different than nursing a newborn

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Oh yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Any neck muscles

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Right.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: and you forget that, like,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah, that's so true.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: that? So, yeah, it's really amazing. I did the same thing too, where I just like, I had an incredibly successful breastfeeding journey with my first, but then for my second, I was like, let's learn it all, let's figure it all out. Like hand expression, all of the things that I didn't know about the first time I just really dove into, but. Also, about co sleeping and learning about bed sharing, because with my first baby, and I think this is probably true for everybody, you're going to fall asleep with that baby,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yep.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Whether you

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yep.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: or plan to or not.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Oh yeah, that same experience for us, uh, being a nurse it has been drilled into us over and over again, that bed sharing and co sleeping is a no, no you can't do it under any circumstances, absolutely not big red stop sign. And so that's what was in my head when I had my first baby and I [00:20:00] fought it and fought it and fought it until, you know, one day I did fall asleep with my baby.

I was like trying to like sit up in bed in the middle of the night or maybe it was more like. Very early morning and he was nursing, like, sitting on the boppy pillow and I had gotten so comfortable, like, I ended up falling asleep while nursing him with the boppy pillow and pillows all around me and I wake up and he's like, laying, like, hanging off the boppy pillow and at that point I'm like, No, no, that can't be more safe than choosing to co sleep and doing it in a safe way.

And ever since then, I've co slept with all my babies. After that moment, I, I realized that I get to decide what's, what risks I'm willing to take with my baby. And if the risk is like purposefully and intentionally and safely laying down with my baby versus. accidentally falling asleep and letting him fall off a bobby pillow, I'm gonna [00:21:00] choose to lay down with my baby.

Yeah. And I did with all three.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: yeah. And none of it has to be all or nothing,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Right.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: have to. You don't intentionally co sleep every night. You intend to put them into their bassinet. But then when you're sitting there and you feel yourself dozing, you know what positions to go into. You're not going to learn it as you're falling asleep.

So just like everything,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Exactly.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: going into it what you can do to help make your situation that you're in safer before you're hallucinating and you're like, who has the baby?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Oh my gosh. That's so relatable. Yes, absolutely. 100%. We all go through that, that moment. Oh my gosh. It brings me back. But yeah. Isn't that so true that like I'm realizing as we talk like there's so much that we all Experience and like you said you don't learn it when it's happening like same for labor Right, which is like what my my whole life right [00:22:00] Mike you don't learn it when you're there you have to choose to prepare Before you get there, you have to make that choice and you can't turn around your traumatic birth story when you're in it.

Once you have it, you have it. And then your next, next opportunity to have a beautiful birth is your next one if you choose to have another baby. And then postpartum is the same way I made all the wrong, all the mistakes not preparing and then it was hard and I would say traumatic for me, the postpartum experience for the first one.

And it didn't have to be. If I had. Known to prepare ahead of time. And the same for sleeping, right? You don't learn when you're falling asleep holding your baby. Wow.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: true. Yeah,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: That's deep

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: are one of the very few people who have taken these experiences and created something beautiful from it. You have created these courses, this social media, this podcast, all of these things that you have, these layers of support [00:23:00] that you share with other women as they prepare for their journey.

So hopefully they don't have to experience everything that you did. Maybe it will be a little different. I mean, they're going to, that's how it is. But,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yes.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: So tell me about everything that you've created and how that's come about.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah. So I decided to create a life in labor after my first baby, and it started out just as a blog, giving real honest advice that wasn't sugarcoating or trying to claim that I knew everything. I just wanted to relate. And then over time, as I. I became a more experienced mom, not that I'll ever know everything, but as I started to learn, I like just wanted to be able to scream it from the rooftops and say, listen, I can help you.

And so I ended up making courses. My first course was a birth course because that's where my strongest passion lies and where I can talk all day and all night about birth. And so I created the Empowered Birth [00:24:00] Academy where I. I teach people how to achieve their most empowered birth, which oftentimes women choose to go unmedicated, and I help people find a path towards an unmedicated birth without judgment, and while knowing that it's okay to change your mind and have a plan B and then, After my third baby is when I really dove into creating a life after labor postpartum course to help mamas who are struggling with the whole postpartum season.

Milkies, like you mean it, which is a breastfeeding and pumping course. And then my baby, my youngest course, but one that I feel is so, so important is momming, like you mean it. Mastering the newborn stage, because I think that the newborn stage is the hardest stage. Harder than pregnancy, harder than birth, harder than breastfeeding.

Just being in that newborn haze is something that I feel like we [00:25:00] should be, uh, Taking more time to learn about so that it can be a beautiful newborn bliss Rather than this time of constant googling and wondering am I doing it? Right? What does everyone else know that? I don't know. So I put all of that into a course and put all of my tips and tricks and advice for new mamas with no judgment and just Honest, honest advice for a mom that I would say to anybody sitting next to me, any best friend of mine, I'd be like, listen, this is what I want you to know.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: that is what we need. We all need that best friend on our side that's gonna tell us like it is, but also give us hope for how it could be. I went into all of this.

I'm, I'm a super eager person. I like, I'm ready to learn and everything all the time. And I would be signing up for classes and people would say, wow, you're already doing this. You know, you don't have to be doing [00:26:00] this until you're like 30 weeks, something like that. You know, the, the hospital class, they would be like pushing me down the line. When do you think people should be doing it? Cause it's a lot to take in. How do you structure that?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: I don't know that I have like a perfect time that I would recommend people to get in. I think that you do need enough time. So if, if you're, You know, 37 weeks, I, I would encourage you to definitely start, but I feel like you've waited too long, right? And so typically I tell people the earlier the better, period.

If you're six weeks pregnant and you want to Get the ball moving, then a course is a perfect way to do that because you can go back and refresh and rewatch as many times as you need. And you can start looking into things that you didn't know you needed to know, right? There are so many things that we don't know until, you know, you don't know what you don't know.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Right,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: trying to [00:27:00] say.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: exactly,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: too early because the more time you have, you can start deep diving into things that made you wonder, or you have more questions on,

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah. And when you're pregnant, I think that mostly our brains are focused on birth because that's like the most immediate, like, scary thing that we're going to be, you know, having to do. And so we're like, Oh, you know, I don't have to give birth until, you know, months from now. So I don't have to worry about it.

But I think. And I think that when you start preparing for birth, then you start realizing that there's a whole nother person involved and you're like, Oh wait, I'm also going to be breastfeeding. Oh wait, what am I supposed to do with this newborn baby when I take them home? And so there's so much to learn in a very narrow way.

period of time. You don't get extra credit. Like you don't get extra time if you run out of time. Once you're, once you're in labor, you're in labor. So getting into these courses and learning about labor and birth and then postpartum and breastfeeding and taking care of a [00:28:00] baby, you can be doing that your whole pregnancy.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: I hear you that totally like and labor and delivery it all seems it's the that's the unknown from what you think it's going to

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: you think you know that this is going to be something I've never experienced and I have no frame of reference for but having the baby I mean my sister has a baby I've seen babies on TV it's going to come naturally but it doesn't

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Right.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: for that too is super important.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah. It's so true. I think that's where my mind was too, is just like, Oh, I see it all the time, but you don't realize how many things are going to come up that you realize, like, wait. Is that normal or wait? How do I do that? It's it's constant.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: And then hearing other people's experiences, I mean, my audience is all moms who've already had babies, so this is just kind of therapeutic of we're all in this together and I'm not alone. But for your audience on your podcast, you must have a lot of [00:29:00] pregnant women who are going into this. So how do you help share those kinds of experiences without scaring people?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Oh my gosh. Yeah. No, that's that's actually the big biggest thing for me Is that I? Don't think you should be afraid of, uh, of labor or birth, uh, breastfeeding or, you know, postpartum, and yeah, talking about my story, I guess it does sound scary because I had such a hard time, but like, I, I try to rid fear as my main, uh, Like goal if you were to listen to my podcast and when I do educate on these topics I try my hardest to remind women that you are so capable and you have everything that you need to be the perfect parent for your baby because There is no such thing as a perfect parent.

You don't have to do everything right. You don't have to know everything perfectly and you don't have [00:30:00] to get it all right the first time. As long as you're trying and you're, you're putting in the effort, then you are the perfect parent for your child and you are going to have the birth experience that was right for you.

Whether it's the unmedicated birth that you plan for or a C section to save your baby's life. Like it was the perfect. Situation for you and your baby and you're unique and you don't have to fear that unknown. You can embrace that unknown by, by planning and learning and absorbing everything that you can to make it the best experience possible for yourself and your baby.

But it doesn't have to be perfect in any way. It's just going to be what it was meant to be, but you are in control and you are in the driver's seat, even when it doesn't feel like it.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Yes, knowledge is power. And when you learn something new that you didn't expect, yes, that can be scary. And then you keep listening and you hear that that person came out the other [00:31:00] side and everything was fine and you hear what they did or what they might have done differently. So if you're going to embrace or face that fear, face it before you're in it.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Absolutely.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: it, learn it, and, and then, and then learn where to go from there.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Oh, 100%. Yes. I wish I could screen that from the rooftops.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Right.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yes.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: that. Yes, we're doing our best. We're

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: put it into the

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: This has been such a joyful conversation, Heather. I'm really appreciative of your time. Do you have any final words of wisdom for our listeners?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Oh, just that, like, you're going to be okay and you're gonna get it right because everybody's right is different. I remember being a new mom, always asking my friends, like, what did you do and how did you find that answer? How did you know to do that? And I learned that everyone struggles. And the reason why people know to [00:32:00] do something differently is because of their own trial and error.

Something that happened that was hard in their journey that they found a solution to. And it might be different from what your journey is or what your struggle is or what your solution is. But just remember that. We all have some sort of struggle and some sort of search for solution. And although you're struggling with one thing, you can be the, like the saving grace for somebody who was looking for what you have. And you can be the person that some other new mom is turning to saying, like, How did you do this? Like take it from me. You are hearing my story where I struggled so much and it was so hard for me and now I'm teaching and empowering thousands of women on how to feel strong and informed and empowered and totally capable to do it.

So [00:33:00] just because it's hard for you doesn't mean you're not doing it perfectly right.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: absolutely. And for our listeners who aren't preparing to have a baby, I think you are, you hit the nail on the head of you are that person that can help somebody else. And I know it's uncomfortable to try to impart unsolicited wisdom on people, but like you can do things like send them the link.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: website or to her Instagram page or to something else that you think might be good knowledge or good without just, without sharing it and feeling like you're overstepping, you can send a link and they can either look at it or not.

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yeah,

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: of resources out there for those. Where, speaking of resources, what do you have for us and where can we find you?

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: you can find me on Instagram at AlifeinLabor and you can find my website at alifeinlabor. com. But for your listeners, you can actually go to alifeinlabor. com slash bold little minds and you'll find that you can get 30 percent [00:34:00] off any of my products. Courses, uh, that I talked about here today, the birth course, postpartum breastfeeding or newborn care.

All you have to do is use the code bold, little minds, and you'll get 30 percent off any of my courses.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Wow, that's even better than sharing a link with your friend who's pregnant and you think they need to take a course, you can

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Yes. Yeah.

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: Well, thank you so much, Heather. Please go check out Heather's page and follow her so you can share her story. You share a lot on your Instagram, not just of labor and delivery, but a lot about your real parenting life and it is worth following because it's all so real and

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: Oh,

krissy_1_11-25-2024_183012: So

heather_1_11-25-2024_153012: you. Thank you so much.

I would love to hear how this episode has helped you. Scroll down to the comments and leave me a note there. This will make a big impact in helping moms like us find the show.

Make sure you click that thumbs up and make sure you to follow so that way you can continue to join me on this journey of finding ourselves.

In the next episode I'm going to share why so [00:35:00] many of us feel like we are failing at motherhood and ways that you can finally let go of that guilt and start embracing the mom that you actually are.

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