Why This Mom Left it All Behind and Moved Her Kids to Bali - Lindsay’s Story (S1E13)

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

In our latest episode of the Bold Little Minds Momcast, I had the absolute pleasure of chatting with Lindsay, a mom who’s redefining “having it all” by completely rewriting the rulebook. Lindsay’s story is all about courage, flexibility, and chasing a life that feels true to her—whether she’s parenting in Canada, Bali, or somewhere in between. Grab a cup of coffee, and let’s dive into the key takeaways from our talk!

From Corporate Climb to Full-Hearted Mom Life

Before kids, Lindsay was all about that corporate hustle, moving up the ladder and ticking off those big career goals. But once she became pregnant, everything changed. She describes motherhood as a “shattering of identity”—sounds like a lot, right? But it’s real. Lindsay had to piece herself back together in a whole new shape, adjusting to life with little ones while far away from family support. Through that transformation, she found strength in redefining what success looks like on her own terms.

Homeschooling, World Travel, and All the Learning Curves

Parenting Lindsay-style means staying open to change. After returning to work, she soon realized her daughter needed something different. So, she took on homeschooling, crafting a world of learning and family time that suited their needs perfectly. But that’s just the start! After Lindsay’s marriage fell apart, she and her family have hopped between Costa Rica, Mexico, and Bali—finding that each place gave her kids unique experiences and fresh perspectives on life.

Through it all, Lindsay was able to balance the adventure and educational variety, enrolling her kids in an international school in Bali when it felt like the right fit. It’s been an ever-evolving journey of learning that’s shaped her family in the best way.

Creativity in Parenting: The Power of Tape, Paper, and a Bit of Yarn 🎨

If there’s one thing Lindsay’s learned along the way, it’s that keeping things simple can be magical. One of her favorite tricks is using good old painter’s tape, paper, and yarn to keep her kids entertained. It’s a simple setup, but it’s been a go-to activity in her household, keeping little hands busy and imaginations running wild for years. Sometimes, a little creativity is all you need to make a day special.

Embrace Change & Write Your Own Rules

Lindsay’s life is a masterclass in “going with the flow.” Her advice? Life’s too short to follow someone else’s playbook. She’s constantly reshaping what parenting and family life look like, reminding us that we can always make changes—nothing is set in stone. This is your reminder that you, too, can hit “reset” whenever it feels right.

Catch Up with Lindsay 🌟

Want to hear more of Lindsay’s story? Tune in to her podcast, Breaking Free with Lindsay, or follow her journey on Instagram and Facebook. She’s all about living life authentically, and her insights are perfect for anyone looking to live courageously and embrace the unknown.

https://www.breakingfreewithlindsay.com/

https://www.breakingfreewithlindsay.com/podcast

https://www.instagram.com/breakingfreewithlindsay/

https://www.facebook.com/lindsay.ford.754

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For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript

[00:00:00] 

Krissy: Thank you so much for joining me on the Bold Little Minds Momcast. My name is Krissy, I'm a mom of two young kids ages three and a half and almost two, and I am here today with Lindsey, who is also a mom of two, but her kids are ages eight and ten. Lindsey helps women shed their limiting beliefs,

Lindsay: Okay.

Krissy: societal expectations, and fears and thought patterns that have been holding them back so they can fully trust their intuition and courageously follow their dreams.

lives between Canada and Bali, co parenting her two kids internationally, and she has a podcast, Breaking Free with Lindsay, which you'll hear me on fairly soon, or maybe you already have, depending on how this all comes out, but thank you so much for joining me today, Lindsay.

Lindsay: Oh, thank you so much for having me. I'm really looking forward to this conversation today.

Krissy: Me too. We had our conversation on your podcast already, so we've already had kind of like a warm up of each other's vibes, and we talked before this, and it's just been so much fun interacting with you. So I'm excited to hear. your [00:01:00] story.

Lindsay: Yeah, 100%. We vibed right away. So this will be a good conversation.

Krissy: So tell me, what was your life like? Who were you before you became a mom?

Lindsay: Yeah, I was just saying to you before we hit record that it's been so long. So my oldest is 10. I was working full time. I was climbing the corporate ladder. I had got to a point in my career that I had sort of made it to the top as far as I could go at that particular organization anyways. And when I got to the top, I just felt like, oh, was this the rest of my life? And so I was kind of like in this limbo period for a very long time of knowing I was not meant to be there, but also not sure where I was supposed to be. And I had this instinct that what I was meant to do with my life would change when I had kids. It took a year and a half to get pregnant and I went on this [00:02:00] massive growth, inner growth journey during that time where I learned to trust my intuition, to listen to my body, to slow down.

I got a little bit more into understanding, you know, a little bit about diet and health. I had this sort of aha moment and it's kind of offensive for some people, but it was a really, really helpful aha moment for me. And it was like, Lindsay, you want to get pregnant for the same reason you want a new pair of shoes because you think it'll make you happy. And it was just like that contrast. I know that is slightly offensive, but it was just like, you want it because. It'll make you happy. And so my ultimate result is that I want to be happier. So I focused on the things in my life, what needed to change in my life, how did my priorities need to reorganize themselves to start making myself happier and more deeply fulfilled. And through [00:03:00] that year and a half, I. trusted myself enough to Say no to going to a fertility clinic I had an appointment booked and I instead opted for a meditation for fertility class and knowing that I could change my mind at any time, but that just sort of like Led me down like I could feel myself getting closer to getting pregnant Which is like something that's super weird to describe, but I knew it was going to happen regardless of which route and it was just this surrendering to trusting myself and trusting the process and just like whatever happened was meant to happen in whatever time it was meant to happen and then I got pregnant and I can say because of that lengthy journey to get pregnant in the first place, I, like, I would have been a completely different mother had I gotten pregnant right away.

Krissy: I can relate to that too, because I, I, my journey wasn't quite as long, but there were several losses before I ended up having mine. And [00:04:00] the journey that you go through trying to become a mom and that self discovery, that self Doubt that guilt, all of the things that you feel throughout a fertility journey, it's wild.

​

Krissy: Did you always want to be a mom?

Lindsay: No.

If you had asked me in like my teens and early twenties, I would have said no. No, I can't really see it happening. And then, just like, I don't know if it was hormones or just an age, like, just like something kicked in, I'm like, I mean, I knew I wanted kids by the time I got married, which was, like, mid twenties, but, It was, yeah, I never dreamt about being a mom when I was younger.

Krissy: I can relate completely. I was a hard no. It wasn't even like I can't see this happening. Like my dating profile said, I do not want children. And on dates, it Really? way. I said that. And then you know, we, we, we very intentionally ended up here. It changed our minds. So. throughout along [00:05:00] the way. I think, yeah, those hormones and that biological clock is pretty powerful.

But we end up where we are and it's so fascinating. All the different routes that people take, but that doesn't make us any less of a good mom or that we love our children. So it's really interesting that journey to go to where we are.

Lindsay: Were you, like, with your spouse when you changed your mind?

Krissy: Yes. Yes. We both knew that neither of us wanted children when we were dating. And then when we were realizing how good of a match we were for each other, we're like, okay, maybe we could actually do this together. Like this could be something that could be good with each other as a team.

Because I think before that we saw each other. Parenting individually, and that was like a very big no. And then seeing it as a team was more like, okay, well, we're not going to regret doing it, is what we, is what we see around us. So that's kind of where we ended up.

Lindsay: Oh, that's such a fascinating story. I wish I was [00:06:00] interviewing you right now.

Krissy: This is going to be great. It's just a real conversation. I love it. 

​

Krissy: So you decided that you wanted to pursue your mothering journey. You let go and found all these things because the research that we do when we're trying to have children is just intense and I'm so glad it worked out for you. It's so, it's hard, it's a hard story to hear for so many moms who do need to go down that fertility route and it doesn't end up working.

But I hear what you're saying of really digging down deep of like, why do I even want to do this? And that's fascinating too, because you're right. I mean, so many people, it's just, it's either the next step or it's something that will make you will fill a void, or it's just something you're supposed to be doing.

We talked about this a little bit in your episode too. Tell me more about what you kind of came up with that, like that feeling of, it's going to make me [00:07:00] happy. Did you try to find where, what else might make you happy?

Lindsay: You know what? I don't remember all the specifics, but I remember sitting down with my husband, who's now my ex husband, but I remember sitting down with him and we listed out Like what we thought, like what we wanted our priorities to be, how we wanted to be spending our time. And then we listed out what was actually taking the bulk of our time.

So we had these two lists to compare and it was basically like one was the inverse of the other. And so we were just like, okay, we know our lives are not how we want it to. And we want to shift our priorities in terms of how we're spending time. We had no idea how. To do that. One of the things was we weren't even spending much time together.

We were both like, you know, playing soccer and going to see friends and just doing all these things kind of separately. And we really wanted more time together. And. I remember us just like, okay, we have all [00:08:00] these commitments in our calendar for the next couple months. I have no idea how we can make this happen, but okay, well, you know, problem for another day type of thing. and then I think within a week or two, he broke his toe and couldn't play sports anymore, which sounds like a disaster, but we got our time. So it was just like this beautiful, you know, putting the intention out there for what we want, not worrying about the how and just It's allowing it to, to unfold naturally.

And that's where life gets to be just a little bit magical when we can let go and surrender to whatever process we're going through without like, like solidly attaching to. an outcome or a specific way of doing things. I

Krissy: Really digging down to that. that need, that want. What am I, what am I seeking is, is huge. 

​

Krissy: So tell me now your life was this way. You found these ways to make yourself happier through it. [00:09:00] And then you became a mom and what was that transition like for you? Yep. Yep. mean, I did, I described becoming a mother like someone took my entire being, threw it on the floor, shattering it to pieces, and I was just kind of left to reassemble myself in a different way. Like, it was, it was so hard. For me I went from like this super successful career where I knew what I was doing I was well respected people came to me for help and then I was at home by myself with a baby I had no idea what I was doing.

Lindsay: I was so sleep deprived and just like I I remember Timing my my daughter and how much she was nursing. It was like three and a half to five hours a day She was on my boob. I'm like, that's like a part time job What is happening right now? And I just it completely caught me off guard You know It was, it was funny because like I had done so much worrying about the actual [00:10:00] birth and delivery process That it hadn't even occurred to me to think about what it would be like to have a a baby like and it sounds so bizarre to say out loud because obviously I like I'd wanted this baby forever But I was so afraid of birth that it just occupied my my mind to a point where I remember like I was, I, I had a home birth, a water birth and I remember just like my daughter coming out and I'm like, Oh, it's over.

And I just like put my head back and relax and my midwife was like, Lindsay, look at your baby. And I was literally like, Oh yeah, there's more to this. So I really had I, I had a lot of learning to do on the go and I also just feel like. You know in I'll say our culture this western culture like you're not super well supported or at least I wasn't super well supported Knowing what I know now about like fourth trimester stuff and just like taking it easy and let other people [00:11:00] take care of you Like I had No idea. My mind was just like, I can do it. I'm capable. I'm told I can do everything. Just power through. Don't let anyone see you're struggling. I was resistant to help, like, which is, you know, I look back on that now and I'm like, what were you thinking, Lindsay? But it was just it was a really, it was a really hard transition into motherhood because of so much of my conditioning. And then as my daughter grew, it got easier. Because of her, I started a blog and I just felt like, you know, I think a lot of moms just have this creative spark or they know there's something more. And so for me, it was just like, I'm going to start a blog. I have no idea why. And I just started to then pull like, You know, just follow these breadcrumbs of, you know, what ultimately transitioned in my career, but it was it was because of this journey into motherhood that really Was [00:12:00] life changing from like a lifestyle point of view, but also just like so much inner work came up There's so much like I became a different person not only because I had to care for her but I had to let go of so much of my i'll say control issues and my Um You know, need for a tidy home or just, you know, again, all the conditioning, right?

So I became a different person and then that affected my marriage. You know, just with this shifting of rules not bad, not good, but it was just like all these little things that I never, ever, expected, anticipated, was aware of, thought of you know, I was on a one year mat leave cause we get those in Canada and then went back to work.

So like my, our, our, the roles in our marriage changed, you know, when I was staying at home, then back to work and then second kid and then back to work, like it just kept. You know, things just kept changing and evolving. And I think that's one of the [00:13:00] beauties of motherhood or the beautiful things about motherhood is that it's a continued evolution.

And, you know, if you think about, you know, our child goes from being 100 percent dependent on us to fully independent and the whole process of parenting is about letting go. And for someone who likes control or like way more liked it back

then and it was attached to it. I'm like, okay, there's, it's been, it's been a road.

Krissy: Oh, that is, yes. It is, like, it is the most wild thing. And it's so lonely when you're in those moments where your life is shattered because you think then, because nobody talk, or people don't talk about it as much as they should, I'm the only one that this has ever happened to. I think part of it is we forget Right?

It's that, that whole idea of we forget what childbirth is like. So that way you'll do it again. We forget what early, those early, early days were like, so that way you'll do it again. You won't be terrified of it. It's evolutionary, I guess, but even still, [00:14:00] it's almost seen as like a rite of passage. So when you'll reach out to help for help or talk to people often, I, I received like, Oh yeah, I know that was hard.

Like, yeah, but like, what? That's it? That's all? That's where it ends? Unbelievable. 

Lindsay: One of my business, previous businesses was I did parenting coaching, positive parenting coaching. And when I was writing my book And going through the editing process, I had about 10 to 12 moms going through the editing process.

And I commented, like there was a section in there describing what I just described to you, the shattering of identity. And every single one of them commented on it. And I would say like 50, 50, like the women were just like, yes, 100%. That's me. And then the others were just like, I have no idea what you're talking about, Lindsay.

So it was really, that was interesting. So just know that like, If you are listening to this and you're going through this, like you are absolutely not alone. You're not going crazy and there's really nothing wrong with you. ​

[00:15:00] ​

Krissy: Did you have a good support system that, you said you were turning away help, but were people talking to you, with you 

Lindsay: I didn't ask for help and I was the first one out of my friends to have kids.

So they didn't really understand the support that I needed. They would come to visit, but they would just like sit and visit. I think my mom had some Oh, I would say like triggers come up for her and just sort of like, you know, I wasn't supported when you were a baby. So like, you know, you're on your own with the baby.

I'll come over and, you know, do the fun stuff, but I'm not gonna like even change a diaper or like, there was just stuff like, and not that she wouldn't,

but she was just like, not that like not jumping in. And then my mother in law, You know, it wasn't until years later when I actually asked her about this, because she, she, didn't really come around to help [00:16:00] at all.

But then many years later, I watched her do it for my, my sister in law. And I was like, why did you never, Like, like what? Like, she came and lived with them for the first week to help with

the baby and I'm like, what is, what is this? And she's like, oh, I just thought you had the support of your mom and like my sister in law, her mom had died, so, I was like, whoa, okay.

So like, part of it is I didn't ask for help because like I said, my conditioning was just like I should be able to do

alone. How hard could a small baby be? And I also feel like At the time had she said I'm coming to stay or I'm coming to, you know, help and take care of you. I would have been like, no, I've got this.

I should be able to do this. How like I would have, I don't know. I was just like, that

conditioning was so strong. Now I look back and I'm like, yes, please come help

Krissy: Right. You want to 

Lindsay: take my kids. I definitely like made it harder than it needed [00:17:00] to be. So no, I didn't have a, I didn't have a support system. I wish, I wish I had.

Krissy: It's so, it can be so hard. I, you know, I, and I mean, I can't relate in the way only because it was COVID. So my 

Lindsay: Right. 

Krissy: was kind of on me, but in so many ways I can, where it's just not. Like you think this is supposed to be natural and innate and come to you and your, your maternal instincts turn on and you would walk through fire for this child and you're looking at a stranger that you don't know anything about who is changing on the hourly basis.

Like, as soon as you figure something out, they're totally different. So 

Lindsay: Yep. 

Krissy: how do you even adapt? I get it 

​

Krissy: what was your transition like from one to two? Yeah.

Lindsay: From one to two was a little bit insane. So the initial transition was Six weeks postpartum, I was on a plane to South Africa for my brother's

wedding. [00:18:00] So, it was like, my husband was not taking time off with this one because he needed to save it for our trip to South Africa. My daughter, was still doing some daycare like twice a week. But yeah, we went to South Africa. We dealt with, I don't know what the time difference is, like a seven hour time difference for a few weeks. And then we went back. So like the first few months of that was just like, Insane. And then my daughter around the same time, she was fully potty trained.

She went back into diapers. We were just, you know, just juggling, just juggling.

Krissy: Yeah.

Lindsay: yeah, the, the, the transition to two. I mean, I have really fairly like easy kids, but like my son He was quite demanding. He did not take a bottle until he was almost a year old. So I felt like I could never leave him. I know I could have like left him and sort of forced [00:19:00] the issue, but He was so stubborn that I just didn't wish that on anyone caring for him. So I felt like I really was trapped. And then at the same time going through all the potty training stuff with my daughter, like

that was like, I would describe it as psychological warfare.

Like that girl, like, just, I remember it was before My son came along. I remember she was just before age two and I was just like, okay, let's keep your, your underwear dry. And she stood in my living room. She took off her pants, her underpants and peed on my living room

floor. And I'm like, okay, all right. I give up. So there was just like, it, it, it was, it was a lot, but then you know what, like once I got the nap sorted out and like space in my calendar and like, in terms of like, You know, there's, it got easier. I mean, I guess it didn't get easier when my son started moving and crawling and taking her stuff.

But you know what? Like it was, it was, it was not terrible.[00:20:00] 

Krissy: That's, that's great because for a lot of people it is, that's the earth shattering piece of transitioning. So I'm glad you didn't have two completely shattering experiences.

Lindsay: it may be like the rose colored glasses looking

back now, 

Krissy: There's that too. Yeah, exactly. 

Lindsay: Honestly, like one of my hardest things as like a parent was potty training.

Krissy: Yeah,

Lindsay: specifically, like it was just the, like, so everything else feels easy in hindsight.

Krissy: I am kind of in it. I'm just like, I don't even care. Like, I honestly, at this point, I feel like the more longer they're in diapers, the little it's easier because we don't have to, like, rush to find a bathroom in public places. So I'm like, you know what? We'll casually do this. We have a potty in like every room.

it'll happen when it happens. They won't be in diapers forever. 

​

Krissy: A lot of people say later on when they have older kids is like it doesn't get any easier. It just gets [00:21:00] different. But I, I 100 percent disagree, even though my kids aren't that much older than they will be, but it has to be easier than the survival mode.

those 

Lindsay: Yes. 

Krissy: days. I think those days are just like, like you said, psychological warfare. It's just like you're going through this battle. So sure, it gets different and it's always hard. But that is next level.

Lindsay: Yeah, I would say my kids are 8 and 10. Things are pretty easy right now. Like we have our moments. We do better when they're not in the public school system. We do better. We have a lot of fun when we're traveling and we have our moments where we're just like in tears, all of us and dealing with things.

But overall, You know, they understand more, they understand more the rules, they understand more the expectations and the nuances I can even start to explain to them of just like, you know, when I'm upset, I'm like, I can say to them, like, this actually has something to do with my past. It has nothing to do with you.

And I'm just [00:22:00] having a temper tantrum

right now. And they're just like, okay, all right, cool. And. you know, there's things that we can, we can just start to have different conversations now that they're, you know, past sort of that magical, like six, seven

age. But yeah, no, I do think, I do think it does get easier.

There's still hard aspects, but yeah, you're not in that survival mode. I will also say that. The difference and it could be timing of age as well. But for me you know, when I was working full time, my kids were in either childcare or school like full time and we never saw each other or like barely saw each other.

And when we saw each other, it was like sprinting out the door in the

mornings, rushing to get dinner on the table and bedtime. And our quality of life was so low I could see because I was in like the positive parenting coaching world. And I sort of understood like why are all these. All these behaviors are happening was because we weren't spending quality [00:23:00] time together.

And at the time, I'm like, this is just the way our society is set up. But since transitioning out of the workforce and you know, that nine to five world anyways homeschooling my kids, like that slower pace, that more connected time. It, it makes a difference because that is the underlying root of so many of the behavior issues that are happening.

So, yeah, that was, that's, I also think, like, if you're just sprinting through life and your kids are overscheduled,

Krissy: Mm hmm.

Lindsay: and I have some opinions about, like, all the extracurriculars

Krissy: Sure.

Lindsay: kids are in But if you're overscheduled and always sprinting and, and you're stressed, your kids are stressed, there's not a lot of downtime to decompress. It's not necessarily the best recipe for a great relationship with your kids.

Krissy: I can hear that for sure. Yeah, we thrive on our quality time together and our downtime and just those days where you don't feel [00:24:00] really do much. It's, it's refreshing and invigorating. And I wouldn't say we're overscheduled by any means, but we still need that downtime and that those days where you just don't move.

So I feel that. 

​

Krissy: Your parenting has looked a lot of different ways throughout. You were working full time, you were homeschooling. Tell me about all these different hats, all these different ways that parenting has looked for you.

Lindsay: Yeah, it's been a ride. So initially I was working full time and my kids were in childcare first and then school, and then pulled them out to homeschool. Actually before that I had quit my job because. You know, for all the reasons sort of I just listed of just like, I knew there was something different.

My quality of life was so low with my family. And I was just like, I had something needs to change. This cannot be, this cannot be my life. So I actually quit my job. [00:25:00] I had started a positive parenting coaching business that was sort of like an evolution of the blog I first started. It just sort of led into that, that business naturally.

And right before COVID I had walked away from my job to do that. Went through you know, all the shutdowns, put my kids back in school, you know, lockdowns online, back in school, like all of the things. And then it just got to a point where my daughter's stress level, like I had to, we had to do something.

It was just like the school, whatever was happening at the school was just not good. It was very clear that we needed to get her out of there. And so I kind of dropped everything and. started homeschooling and I had, you know, I had this like idealistic view of just like, Oh, it'd be so nice to homeschool.

But I, I would have never done it had it not been like urgent and pressing. and so I just started to figure out homeschooling. I started to at first just base it off of the questions they were [00:26:00] asking and, we'd go to the library, we would do some research, I'd get them to write something about it or draw or like whatever it was. and then I realized that I didn't love like lesson planning

and like that required a bit more work on my end. So I eventually found a curriculum that I really, really liked. We focused on reading, writing, math. And didn't really worry too much about the other stuff because the other stuff I just found, like, you know, when they were naturally curious about something, we would, we would just like, go investigate that.

We would research it. We would go, you know, what's the difference between a moth and a

butterfly. We would research that. And then we'd go for a walk in the forest and we'd be like, is that a moth or is that a butterfly? And just, you know, different things like that. Around the same time I started homeschooling I discovered forest school.

And at first it was just drop in with parents. Like I would stay I could drop off as well, but like, we would just go hang out in the forest once a

week for a couple hours with other families. And we [00:27:00] built a really like, Quick and supportive network of not only friends for my kids, but for me as well.

And as someone newly homeschooling them in the middle of a pandemic, it was like, thank God I had those people. But that introduced me to a whole other way of thinking this like unschooling for school, you know, they're out in the forest and they're not learning academics,

Krissy: Sure.

Lindsay: You know, I watched like a group of, you know, seven kids take this big branch and try, they're like, we're going to plant this tree.

And it probably took them like 30 or 40 minutes to figure out how to stand up this tree.

And they were working together. There was teamwork involved. There are brainstorming ideas. They're like, let's try propping it up with this. Let's tie a rope like this. And I was just like, Oh, this is just such good, valuable learning that's happening.

And they're just playing.

Krissy: Yep.

Lindsay: Like, but it was just so cool to witness. So we continued forest school throughout our homeschooling journey. I think I homeschooled for like a year and a [00:28:00] half, two years ish. And it was like the best experience because. You know, I had those slower days. I had quality time with my kids.

I like we were just getting along

so well. We built this really beautiful life. And then my marriage fell apart. Because what happened was, you know, sort of, With without me working my husband was just like, okay, I need to

work more and then so he felt like he needed to work more the less he was around the less competent he felt When he came home and was and we're just like happily living our lives and then he was just like, I don't know what i'm doing so it was just like this cycle that we couldn't get out of in in that respect and then when we so when we parted ways i'm like, okay You I had put my parenting business sort of on hold to do homeschooling.

And it really just sort of like that creativity, that passion for that business just sort of faded. Away. So like, [00:29:00] yeah, there, I could have done that business, but it just sort of died out of me. And then I was faced with this. Okay. I don't want to go back and get a job and put my kids back in school because I love the life that we built.

I just need to figure out the income piece now. And I, cause I had that contrast. I knew what that hamster wheel looked like. I knew what it was like to work full time. I'm like, I definitely know I don't want

that. Let me try to do something different. And so at that time I had really been dreaming about traveling, thinking there was no way I could do it.

I didn't have money, like all of this stuff. And, but I just like sat dreaming in my head and then. And then I just decided to cash in some savings and say like, you know what? I'm gonna go travel for five months and i'm gonna figure this out I'm gonna trust myself to figure this out along the way because I knew I knew the life that I wanted I just needed to figure out the income piece and i'm like this is Like I don't want my kids back in the public school system.

[00:30:00] I I know that this is possible because they've seen other people like mostly online

Krissy: Sure.

Lindsay: this I need to figure this out and I literally we started traveling We looked at costa rica because I wanted to live outside of canada I didn't just want to like, you know hop around on vacation. So I spent two months in costa rica with my kids And just exploring that as an option.

I continue to homeschool them We went to Mexico actually as a family. So their dad was there, his parents live in Mexico, so we actually spend a month together in Mexico sort of post separation figuring we would do Christmas together. So continue to homeschool. And then the hard part it was, you know, I had sort of, you know, in terms of like testing this, like, could I actually live in another country? What would that actually look like? I had the kids for the first two months we did then that third month together. And then it was his turn to have the kids for two

months where I was going to go to Bali and Bali was [00:31:00] just a pull of the intuition, but it was just like, okay, now. I'm going to leave my kids for two months, having been like, not pretty much inseparable for at least the last couple of years. They're going back into the school system, which I do not want. And they're with their dad who hasn't really like been a parent for the last, you know, at least a year or

more. And so it was just like, You know, it was just this rattling of like, like, what am I doing? Like, it was so deeply uncomfortable.

It brought up so many emotions. I was just like, what kind of mother leaves her kids for two months? And the thing about like that travel piece and that evolution piece, I knew I could get to Bali and like, get on a plane and come back, like the worst case scenarios, I would be out some money. Which I didn't want to do, but like, I could change my mind at any time. At any point and at any point I could come back and get a job like it just But I knew what I [00:32:00] wanted I knew I needed like my intuition was so strong was like go to bali meet people to help you figure out your life And I was like, I don't even know where to start with that. But like it was so strong I'm, like, okay.

I'm just gonna trust my kids transitioned Really well back into the public school system. They had amazing teachers for that first part. Honestly, if I could start school mid year every year I would, because I got, like, we met the teachers right away. They chatted with us at the end of the day. Like, you know, if you start school in September, it's like very hands off,

like just drop your kids, run.

We won't, we'll see you like in a couple of weeks that like meet the

teacher night and you have no idea what's happening. 

Krissy: in a marathon at full speed. Yeah.

Lindsay: Yeah, exactly. So they went back into the school system. They were there for that full calendar year. So, two half school years, and then I ended up pulling them out and taking them to Bali for six months where they attended an international school. [00:33:00] That was just like, so in alignment with My values and, and how I wanted them, you know, even just simple things, like they didn't have to ask to go to the bathroom or, and, you know, they were just trusted to you know, just be more independent, like, just like, yeah, let them be kids, not just like micromanaging them. And in Bali, like for six months, I was. Solo parenting by myself in a foreign country on the other side of the world. It's a 12 hour time

difference It's about you know 24 hours in air for the flight. So it's not like a quick trip

home or for anyone to visit So that was just that that was another experience and then now they're back in the school system for, you know, at least four months,

Krissy: Sure. Yeah.

Lindsay: committed to four months. But the overall arching, you know, I know people sort of look at this like inconsistency of education. [00:34:00] All I really care about is Are they progressing in reading, writing math?

Krissy: hmm.

Lindsay: Do they want to continue learning? Are they still enjoying learning? And I don't really care about the rest. When I meet with their teachers, especially in the public school system here in Canada, they're like they're looking for like, how do they fit into the class in terms of their

academics?

So like when I met with my son's teacher before going to Bali, I was asking like about how he was reading and she's like, Oh, I don't really read with him cause you know, these other kids are at the bottom. So I'm spending more time with that.

Krissy: Mmm,

Lindsay: like, and I'm like, okay, that's not the education I

want for my kids or even like with my, my daughter talking about math.

I'm like, okay, like how is she doing in math? Because I saw her math skills decline when she went back into the school system compared to when we were homeschooling. And her teacher was just like, oh, she's, she's fine. She's totally fine in math.

You don't have anything to worry about. And I'm like, well, I'm not really worried about how she's doing compared to others.

I actually want to know if she's still [00:35:00] progressing. So. It's been some like unschooling in terms of me because like

Krissy: Oh,

Lindsay: are so wired to look around and like, you know, is my kid falling behind or like all because we created all these scenarios in our head, but I just focus on are they progressing? Are they wanting to learn?

Are they enjoying learning? And the other thing that's really sort of like the overarching driver for why I want my kids exposed to different educations or education systems or ways of learning. I want them to know there's different ways of doing things,

like look at my life and living like off script. I want them to know that there's not just one way of doing something. There's not just one way of thinking. And I really want them to have this wide range of experience to pull from. Because then when it comes to them designing their life, as they get older, like they're going to have just like this, this, you know, bigger, this broader [00:36:00] perspective that will hopefully like just help them thrive. it in in life. So there's really just like this longterm vision. And there's of course these short term hiccups and ins and outs and transitions and all that. But it's really like this. I want them to be critical thinkers and I want them to know that they do not have to live by anyone else's script.

Krissy: Look at you with all these ways of like letting go like this theme keeps coming back. It's not just letting go of your expectations for yourself, but even like educationally thinking about your own objectives for your kids and then letting go of the rest because it's working out. 

​

Krissy: I'm curious how the transition is for them.

Like that initial, when they go for such a long period, From their father to you, I mean, just within the course of a day when my husband and I trade hats, it's a rocky transition. What [00:37:00] is that like? Well, 

Lindsay: know what, what's really interesting for us is Yeah. when we're going back and forth between homes there is more of You Those transitions are real, like there's like, you're adjusting to new rules, you're adjusting to a different way of doing things. Because we've done these larger blocks I feel like the kids are more settled into one routine, they're not as disrupted on like a daily basis. One of the things that we've done, that I think has been so key, And that I would have never have guessed would it like it wasn't I didn't realize how profound of an impact it would have when I initially did it, but it was like every day when we are, you know, on the other side of the planet. Like when I'm in Bali, those kids, like my kids are talking to their dad every single day. They are video chatting with him over breakfast. They spend about like 40, 45 minutes with him talking. That started when I did that first [00:38:00] transition that when I went to Bali, they went back in the school system and I was like, okay, you know, worked, we're talking every single day. And it surprised me because when that happened, they were six and eight. It was an hour every day. They wanted to sit on the phone with me on that video chat and it shocked me because prior to that, like, you know, their dad had traveled a bunch for work like they had, you know, when we talked to them, it was like, you know, when they, when, They were talking to him as he was traveling.

It was like five minutes. He wasn't super interested because obviously they can't have a conversation. But like, you know, we had like an hour because of the time difference, like before bedtime slash in the morning for breakfast for me. And. They wanted to use every ounce of that time. And it was actually like, you know, I could hear like either their dad or their grandparents sometimes just saying like, you're not talking to your mother, talk to your mother.

Like you can't just sit there. And I'm like, no, no, like let them sit

there. Sometimes they just wanted to put the phone down beside [00:39:00] me and spend time with me. They just wanted to play Lego next to

me. And I'm like, this is the only time I show up as a parent for every day. It's one hour. I can sit with them for an hour. And that I think we, and we have done it every single time we've, we've traveled and been, been apart. I think that alone has, you know, done so much for the relationship and maintaining the relationship because, you know what, it's funny because like I can spend an hour. Of undivided attention with them on a video chat. Knowing that like that is my only, you know, quote unquote job as a parent that day when I'm home with them, I don't spend an hour of undivided attention with them

because I'm just like, things are happening. I'm cooking, I'm

cleaning, I'm just like doing things differently. And, yeah, so it just gets, it gets to be a different type of relationship. And then the other thing that, you know, in terms of transitions you know, me and their dad, [00:40:00] like we do have very different expectations and rules and we're, we're, we're aligned in many ways, but. He is, you know what, I, I, I don't want to put him down at all, but it's like someone described this to me, you know, I was kind of upset about like their diet and, you know, just not getting like a lot of attention and someone said to me Like I was really, really struggling with this and it was just like, you know what, Lindsay, when they're with you, they're going to learn how to do things consciously and listen to their body and tune into what they need.

And when they're with their dad, they're going to learn how to, you know, just go on script and like do what everyone else is doing. And they're going to get that contrast. And they're just like getting that full breath. You know, they're there, they have two very different parents. And they get that full, that full contrast, that

range of, you know, that broader perspective

range that I wanted them to have just like in a

more, more controlled [00:41:00] way.

Yeah, so the transitions actually haven't been as bad as I thought they were. And I think it's just because of those, those few things that we've put into place. And I also get along with their dad still, like we don't have much, like, yeah, we're, we have a pretty amicable relationship.

Krissy: That's so helpful. 

​

Krissy: Now, when you have them full time and you are solo parenting, wherever you are in the world at the time, how do you take care of yourself? How are you balancing that?

Lindsay: Yeah. So this last time in Bali, like they were at school And there's a couple of things that I did. So my brain works best in the morning. So I would work in the morning and I would every day, like if I couldn't actually like go out and do something for myself, I would try, even if it was just like a last [00:42:00] minute, 10 minute scramble, I'm like getting in the pool, cause just floating in the pool

makes me happy.

So I made sure we had a house with a pool. Even just like reading a book, doing something like even in that 10 to 15 minutes before pickup, if I wasn't doing that, it was just like, like I didn't fill my cup. The other thing I did too is in the mornings I would work out and meditate each morning.

And it was maybe like a 15, 20 minute workout at home, like in my bedroom, like I would just kind of roll out of bed and do it type of thing. My kids knew that they just, so establishing those routines,

Krissy: Mm.

Lindsay: I think was really important. The other thing that we built into our schedule in Bali was every Tuesday night I had a group of friends that I got together, which I wish I had that here in

Canada, but it was just like, because everyone's expats there and they don't have family and all these like.

Every Tuesday night, I would see my friends and my kids would know that like, I was out with my friends. They would sit at a different table in the restaurant half the time.

And I'm just like, this [00:43:00] is, this is my time.

This is my time. I mean, that took some training and getting

used to, but But that was my time and then on Friday nights, we did games night with other people.

We would go and we'd play board games. And so there was times with my kids that were like that downtime and we do like weekend trips to the beach and stuff like that too. So it was really just like, I mean, I loved it there. It was just like, our whole life was a vacation and yet it was not. So yeah, that's how I built in downtime.

When it was more like initially with like Costa Rica and traveling around, I find when you're moving places, it's harder to get into more of a routine where you are taking time to yourself and then it weighs a little bit more heavily on you.

Krissy: Sure. And it sounds like for you, that connection to having a community is really important. So when you're bouncing around too much, you can't build that. You don't know those people.

Lindsay: Yeah, I feel like that community support for my, for my sanity, just having friends. around and you know, they're not like super close friends in the [00:44:00] beginning, but you know, they're doing the same thing as you like, or like something similar. So they're relatable, right? Like if I talk to a lot of people in Canada about my life, they're just like,

what you're doing. 

Krissy: Right?

Lindsay: they're there. It's just like, okay, everyone's done that.

Like all the expats in Bali have done what I'm doing.

So, 

Krissy: fascinating.

Lindsay: yeah, it's, it's that community piece. I, I really need. And that's something I'm trying to actually recreate here. Or create here because I feel like I've had my community in the past and things have, you know, disintegrated and shifted.

And I need that again. Because it really does make a difference to my happiness.

Krissy: Yeah, it sounds like it's an important thing for you to build. So I'm glad that you have that. And you're at least have an idea of where you want it to be in your other location too. 

​

Krissy: my favorite thing to talk about in this [00:45:00] podcast is to hear what everybody's little tricks and tips are for helping their kids stay entertained.

Like we obviously want our kids to be able to play by themselves or have this great imagination, creativity, but sometimes they need a little prompting and a little help. So when you need to get something done and they are just driving you nuts, what is your favorite go to easy, low prep activity? Mm 

Lindsay: know what? It's a little bit more like free range paint tape. You know, paint tape that you can just stick to anything and it doesn't matter. Like, that has been like a staple in my household from like toddler years. Because I feel like tape, even like yarn, if they can cut, they can cut tape, they can cut yarn, they can cut paper.

So it's just like, paper, markers, tape, and sometimes yarn. And, The stuff they create is just phenomenal and it just keeps them occupied. So yeah, not like a specific activity, but like, I cannot, I cannot underscore the [00:46:00] paint tape enough.

Krissy: We are big fans as well. I have all of the colors in a bin that I keep locked away because if I don't, then it's just everywhere, which is great when I want it to be, but not when I don't want it to be. So when I pull it out, like the little one is just ripping apart. The role and sometimes my older one is starting to get to the point where he's building, but we love making like collages.

I'll put little pieces of it all over the walls and they take them and they put them on a piece of paper. We make this like, I don't know, Jackson Pollock type thing and it's a lot of fun. So yes, I can second this as an easy go to activity as well.

Lindsay: Amazing. Even like, like with little kids having a roll of tape like that on an airplane where they just like peel off and stick to the

Krissy: Yes.

Lindsay: in front or just like,

I don't

know. 

Krissy: could just put, yeah, exactly. Put a whole piece of tape, nothing fancy on it, and there, that dexterity, that focus to try to rip it off, like, my little one is destructo. He just destroys everything that is his role in life at the moment. [00:47:00] It's, that's, whatever play schema this is, it's terrible, but he just wants to destroy it, and having tape anywhere.

Like that, it gives him something purposeful to destroy, so it's great.

Lindsay: I love it.

​

Krissy: This has been such a wonderful conversation, I've loved hearing about all of the different things that you've put into place to live this life that feels so meaningful and I can tell you, you genuinely love, which is really refreshing and really great and you're figuring out how to make your parenting work within this, this role.

Do you have any final takeaways for us?

Lindsay: You know what? I just, I, what popped into my mind, just as you were saying, that is just like, you get to make the rules of your own life and your parenting gets to look however you want it to look. And the only reason it doesn't is because you're either attached to this idea that you have, or you're worried about what other people think.

And if you can just like [00:48:00] relax and like pull apart those layers that are keeping you sort of. You know, in a life that maybe you don't, it isn't quite jiving. Yeah, like you, you get to, you get to create the rules of your own life. It gets to be really that simple.

Krissy: I love it. And I think you hit an important point too that I want to reiterate. We talked about it on your podcast as well, is it's not permanent. Like you can try it 

Lindsay: Yes. 

Krissy: You don't have to be doing this for the rest of your life. So why not?

Lindsay: Yeah. You can change your mind at any time you can shift in. And if you don't take steps forward towards what you want, like you will, a, never get there, but you get. More information as the more steps you take and you get a new perspective the further you go. So just like take those steps forward knowing that you can shift and pivot at literally any time there.

It's no decision is ever permanent.

Krissy: Where can people find you?

Lindsay: Yeah, they can find me at breaking free with Lindsay. That's the name of my podcast, my Instagram, [00:49:00] my Facebook and my website. So breaking free with Lindsay, Lindsay with an A.

Krissy: Love it, and I will link that in the show notes as well. 

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​[00:50:00] 

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