Blended Family, Sensory Processing Disorder, and Changing Dreams: Shay’s Story

BoldLittleMinds MomCast
Written By Mom Identity Project

Welcome to our latest blog post inspired by an episode of the Bold Little Minds MomCast, where we dive deep into the beautiful chaos of motherhood. Hosted by the warm and engaging Krissy, this episode features Shay, a mom of four, who shares the unexpected twists, turns, and joys of her journey through motherhood. Join us as we explore themes of resilience, adaptation, and finding joy in the everyday moments with our children.

Life Before Kids: Dreams of a Different Path

Shay takes us back to a time before her life was filled with the pitter-patter of little feet. Initially, she wasn't sure if motherhood was the path for her and harbored dreams of becoming a surgeon. Life, however, had other plans, and Shay found herself diving into motherhood where her nurturing instincts flourished outside of the operating room.

The Journey Through Early Education and Challenges

From being a full-time preschool teacher to navigating personal challenges like a tumultuous divorce, Shay faced numerous hurdles. Yet, she consistently leaned into her strengths, finding ways to blend her passions for teaching and parenting. This adaptability became even more crucial when faced with the unique challenges of raising a child with sensory processing disorder during the COVID-19 pandemic.

Embracing Chaos: The Dynamics of a Blended Family

Shay’s journey also highlights the nuances of managing a blended family. Her insights into the bonds formed amid the complexity of shared custody arrangements offer a heartfelt look at the ways siblings bond across differing family dynamics. Whether discussing the logistical challenges or the emotional connections, Shay eloquently paints a picture of family life that is both challenging and rewarding.

Sensory Seeking Kids: From Necessity to Business Venture

With the birth of her youngest son, Shay's professional focus shifted again, this time toward entrepreneurship. Her small business, Sensory Seeking Kids, emerged from personal necessity and a desire to help other parents. By creating sensory bins and engaging educational materials, Shay provides a tangible way for kids to channel their energies positively. Her business not only fulfills her creative needs but also offers support to families facing similar challenges.

Finding Joy in the Everyday

Shay's story is a poignant reminder of the little moments that make motherhood so rewarding. Whether it’s through spontaneous I Spy games or creating sensory-rich environments, here lies a lesson in finding joy amidst the chaos. Understanding each child's unique needs and nurturing them accordingly has been Shay's north star through her motherhood journey.

Conclusion

Ultimately, Shay’s story is one of resilience, adaptation, and an unwavering commitment to her family. Her message is clear: Even in the toughest moments, motherhood grants us the opportunity to grow in unexpected ways and find joy we never anticipated. We invite you to engage with Shay and the community around her business and the Bold Little Minds MomCast. You can connect with Shay on Instagram at Sensory Seeking Kids and with Krissy through various social media platforms. Both offer a community for sharing stories, exchanging advice, and finding solidarity on this extraordinary journey of motherhood.

Help Us Grow

The BoldLittleMinds MomCast is made possible by you - the listener. Your support goes directly into making each episode happen—thank you for being part of the journey!

All donations go directly to supporting the production of the BoldLittleMinds MomCast

For Your Binging Enjoyment…

Transcript

Krissy: [00:00:00] Hi everyone, you're listening to the Bold Little Minds MomCast, a podcast where we talk to incredible moms who share their unique journey to motherhood, practical tips, and some of our favorite low prep activities. So you can enjoy that hot cup of coffee. I'm your host, Krissy. I'm a mom of two boys. I'm glad you're here with us.

So pop in your earbuds and let's have some fun.

Thank you so much for listening to the Bold Little Minds MomCast. My name is Krissy. I am a stay at home mom to two young boys, and I am so happy that you're here with us today. We had another really great week of at home preschool. We did not do as much as we did the week before, but I think that's to be expected, right?

Your first week of something new, you're always really excited and you come off to a strong start, but then after that, it starts to whittle down a little bit. But we did a lot of really enriching activities, and we also had some other mixes to our routine this week. Went to our favorite play space, and we had some of our friends over, and we went apple picking.

So we had a really nice well rounded week of everything. [00:01:00] I think that's really important to recognize. Some weeks you're going to have weeks where maybe you don't leave the house very much or at all, and then other weeks maybe you're out and about and feeling really busy, but there's no right or wrong way.

You don't have to feel like you have to force something that isn't necessarily naturally occurring. If you aren't naturally feeling like you need to get out of the house, then there's probably no need to do it. If you are feeling like you're having a great time going out and about, then there's no reason to stay at home.

It's really something that you're not going to do the wrong thing. You're not going to find the wrong Mix of, of activities to really enrich your kids and give them a good, well rounded background because it's going to happen. There's a long life for them to live and we don't have to feel like we need to pack in so many experiences to their first three, four, five years of life.

They're going to have these experiences within that time, whether we try to or not, it's going to happen. So just go with the flow, go easy on yourself, mama, because it is tough out there and there's a lot of [00:02:00] comparison. That happens looking at other people's activities. Thinking about my reel that I posted last week with my Apple activities, people were saying, wow, this was a whole unit.

This looks like so amazing. And it was funny because. This was such a small portion of our day. The behind the scenes of that is, sure they did these activities that maybe lasted 10 minutes here or there, but they watched a lot of TV too, because I needed some downtime and that's the way I'm going to get it these days.

Because even the activities that I do with them are super hands on for the most part on my end. I am rarely sitting when I'm with them. I feel like I'm on damage control a lot lately. Where I'm trying to keep one kid from climbing or falling off the counter and another kid from dumping everything out or tearing everything off the walls and when they're in these Ultra destructive modes before we get a lot of their energy out and man getting their energy channeled takes a lot of work It is not just like let's go run around the yard They also need the [00:03:00] climbing.

Luckily, we have the rock wall, but wow, you know, they're still trying to get inside. My kids are super food driven, so that's something I really want to work on, is trying to figure out a safe way for them to be able to independently pick out their snacks when they need to. I thought I had it down. I have this little container that's meant for a fridge organizer that I put a ton of snacks in, but now, of course, they want everything but.

They have figured out how to open up the refrigerator. My three and a half year old pulls over his chair, even though they're, like, on the floor. Their superhuman strength, I am telling you. They lift up these heavy, heavy wooden chairs from weighing on the ground, bring them over to the kitchen, climb onto them, open up the lock, because I have one of those locks at the very tippy tippy top of the fridge, open that up, and then get into the fridge just to look.

You know, they just want to see what's in there. And I get it, I do that too, so But it is not safe for a three and a half year old to be doing that, especially with the amount of [00:04:00] climbing on things that aren't necessarily stools involved. So right now I'm in this, like, phase of, like, do I lean into this and just give them the safe stools?

Do I keep trying to hold the boundary? What do I do? Because they're getting in a house by themselves because I have this gate. That my husband put in at the bottom of our stairs so that way they can't just go in and out on their own or up and down the stairs without supervision until they're, you know, a little more steady on their feet, but they figured out how to like rabbit hole their way through the side of the stairs through the railings to get onto the stairs to go upstairs.

So there is no stopping these kids from getting in the pantry and getting in the fridge and just like wreaking havoc. They just want to grocery shop and look at everything, which is fun sometimes. But not all the time, especially when I have one kid that's on the rock wall and another kid that I know is on top of the fridge.

So these activities that I've been doing are really out of necessity by trying to help us have these more structured channels of how I can spend [00:05:00] my time with them. But also, again, it's just a small, small portion of our day. I don't want you to be watching my Instagram or anybody's Instagram and thinking, Oh, I should be doing more with my kids.

I should be doing all of these things. Because guess what? If you took a video of all of the little activities that you did throughout your day, I bet you could come up with a minute long reel of all of these really rich and exciting things to share with people. My interview this week is with my friend Shay.

I'm going to do my introduction right now because we had some technical issues and the beginning is a little choppy. So the introduction that I share with her Isn't great. Shea is a mom of four. She is a mom of a 15 year old, 13 year old, three and a half year old, and a one and a half year old. She is an entrepreneur, and she owns the business Sensory Seeking Kids.

Her page is so fun to follow. You've probably seen her pop up on my page because I really enjoy her pieces that she's creating and putting together. It's just such a lovely small business to support. So I hope you check her out and I hope that you enjoy this episode. Please [00:06:00] remember to rate, review, subscribe, and share this episode with your friends and let's interact on social media.

Thank you so much for listening and I hope you enjoy it.

 Shay, I am so happy to hear your story and share it with the world. So tell me a little bit about your background, like who were you before kids?

What brought you here with us?

Shay: Oh my goodness, before kids, I didn't know if I wanted to be a mom. Let's start there. Right. It was, it was like, maybe if it happens, great. If not, I was going to be a surgeon.

Krissy: Wow

Shay: I was going to go to med school. I dreamed, had big dreams of John Hopkins. Med school since I was a little kid. I mean three years old.

It was I'm gonna be a surgeon I would tell everybody who would listen I you know have my little projects from school still that say, you know When I grew up, I'm gonna be a surgeon.

Krissy: Aww. 

Shay: I thought I was going to be elbows deep fixing people Sometimes life just Doesn't go the way you want it. And you just kind of have to go with the flow.

And that's what I've been doing as a, you know, [00:07:00] as a person and as a mom is, you know, I've started school. Then I, while in school, I was a preschool teacher full time. So, you know, during the day I would teach and at night I would go to school and then I had a big move and moved across the country, tried again.

Then I got pregnant.

Krissy: Yep.

Shay: I tried again, COVID happened, and two more babies, so here I am. I think, I think it's safe to say that med school probably just, aren't in the cards.

Krissy: Hey, there's always time to at least to learn new things. So where, did

Shay: Exactly,

Krissy: out in school specifically in like pre med to prepare for that or were you going for

Shay: yes.

Krissy: else?

Shay: Yes, no, I was totally, the first classes I ever took were depending on what state you started at were those general ed, underclass requirements to, to get going. That was started back in Florida. Then when I moved out here I even got accepted into one of the university's pre med programs.

[00:08:00] But unfortunately my divorce was really tumultuous. At that time with a child and being a single mom, no family out here all alone. It kind of, it scared me. That I could potentially lose custody of my, my daughter within that, because you know, that you don't always get guaranteed to go to the med school of where you're, where you go for your graduate.

But so it just, that's okay. I think I just kind of

Krissy: Yeah.

Shay: into motherhood if you will. And that's the route I am now. Yes.

Krissy: taking over and taking the steering wheels. And for everyone that's listening, you're in California now. So you started in Florida and moved out to California.

Shay: Yes.

Krissy: What a big trip that must have been. And you said you didn't have, you don't have, I mean, you didn't have any friends at least and no family out there.

Shay: Right. Right.

Krissy: And did you move after your daughter was born?

Shay: No. So actually it was, I started high [00:09:00] school out there in Florida and I just needed a big change. I just saw everybody around me you know, just addicted to drugs that just the paths people are around me were not good. I mean, I, my graduating class, I've, I've lost so many friends.

To drugs and alcohol and violence. So I kind of just took that first opportunity to get, get out and I needed like a new start, fresh start. I didn't have the best relationship with my family there, so it was really easy for me to just be like, all right, I'm just going to spread my wings. And I came out here, I met my oldest daughter's dad and we ended up having her and yeah, we just kind of started life from there.

Krissy: Wow. Yeah. Good for you for getting out. We were growing up at a time that was pretty busy with all kinds of stuff going on and you had to be able to say this is not the right situation for me and move takes a lot of courage. And so kudos to you. Like amazing.

Shay: you.

Krissy: So now you're in [00:10:00] California, you have a little baby girl, you decide to lean into your early ed stuff, like how did preschool teaching evolve for you? Was it just a side gig at the time when you were in college?

Shay: So it was, it was a full time thing. I didn't think I was ever going to be a full time preschool teacher. But I loved it. You know, it was one of those things that I look, I look back fondly and I'm like, Oh my gosh, it really shaped. The mom I am today, and I'm so grateful for those experiences and those classes.

And you know, when I, then when I had a daughter and I was going to school, there was no time to be a full time preschool teacher anymore. It was more like, you know, now at this point, all I have time for is a couple hours here and there at a local coffee shop. And I Yeah, that was hard. I mean, just to be working and going to school full time and working and it just, yeah, it was an experience.

I mean, I think a lot of [00:11:00] moms today really can resonate with that. It's not, you know, we have to do that. You know, we have to work, we have to, you know, better our lives, especially something about having a child is it almost empowers us. Because we want to teach them, you know, to persevere through whatever hardships we're going through to continue our education, to better ourselves.

And we try to set that example once we become moms.

Krissy: And we do it in so many ways and we find somehow within us this energy to do it. I mean, sometimes that energy and that courage is just literally getting up in the morning and putting on clothes. And sometimes that courage is learning something new online and maybe you. Start a small business or maybe you start volunteering somewhere or maybe you pick up a new hobby and It's just incredible seeing what all these moms are doing with it So and that's really come about with you and your parenting, right?

So you've worn a lot of hats over the years, right? So you've really been putting this, like [00:12:00] trying on different things. And, and I think you've had a bunch of different types of jobs.

Was those all, were all those all before your kids, during your kids, as you're figuring it out?

Shay: a little bit of both. Yeah. For a while there I was mana doing management and being an operations manager of a small business out here. And during that, you know, I had the, I had my oldest of, of course and then I met my now husband and he has a daughter that's two years younger and we, we had this little mini blended.

Tiny Brady Bunch family. And within that we, we were working, you know living our lives. And then I tried to go back to school again because I'm, I'm a forever student. I love school. I'm the nerdy girl with the highlighters and the pins and the, you know, the notebooks. And then during that, 

it was just go, go, go. And then COVID hits

Krissy: Yeah,

Shay: and when COVID hit, that was it. Like I just, I'll never forget all of our classes shut down. I then turned [00:13:00] into homeschool mom because my kids, what we, you know, one of them went to one school and they had everything put together within a week. And the other one, it was just kind of like, we don't know what to do.

We don't know, you know, so once COVID happened, there was no school. 

And first it was two weeks and then it was a month. And the next, you know, you know, we're home 24, seven. And within that, my classes were all labs. I mean, I was doing dissections and you know, media classes and, They were all hands on type of pre med classes and they completely got shut down and canceled.

So at that point, you know, I had to kind of lean in to like that teacher hat that I had had, you know you know, trying to help guide my daughters through their schooling and help them out. Like at this point I had to drop out of school because there was nothing, there was nothing anybody could do.

And then a couple months later We found out we were expecting a baby.

Krissy: Yeah,

Shay: And you know, [00:14:00] prior to the boys we had infertility issues. We didn't think we would ever be able to have a baby. We actually had lost a son to anencephaly and At that point, we were like, I, I, I, as a mom was like, I'm done.

I can't take any more losses. We lost nine babies and I, I can't do this anymore. So COVID happened and by the grace of God or the universe or whatever you want to call it, we find out we are expecting, and that just kind of flipped everything upside down again, like in one of the most beautiful. Rewarding, amazing, unexpected ways.

Krissy: that really is beautiful. So you were kind of like, go, go. You had these girls that were older and a little more self sufficient and all this heartache and then this, this joy comes along through all the scary times, I mean, I think all of us can relate to what you're saying about COVID in our own way [00:15:00] and just. feel like a baby is the best way to kind of turn that around and find, find the positives in it. Did you decide then when you knew that you were pregnant that you were going to lean into more being a stay at home mom and, and with your freelancing and small businesses, or was it something that just kind of found its way into your life?

Shay: You know, it's really funny because I never had envisioned being a stay at home mom. That was never on my radar. I mean, I was like, maybe I'll have kids. Maybe I won't. I want to be a doctor and I want to travel the world. I love to travel. And so it was always like, you know what? I'll stay at home with my kids until they can talk and you know, maybe three and a half, you know, four to get them into preschool because coming from being a preschool teacher, that was a very, very important to me that they could talk because Things happen in preschool, things happen in daycares.

And I wanted them to be able to communicate with me [00:16:00] what was going on and not be intimidated or scared or nervous. So, you know, I was like, I'll just get them to preschool and get them in and then back I go. And at this time I was still working. I still was doing operations management still, you know, working within that, and then I started doing more social media freelance social media.

So I tried to take my son to work with me. The owners were of the business I was working for. We're super generous, super caring. They're like, you know what? Go ahead, bring, bring the play pen and do what you got to do. Like you got this, you know, you're a great worker. We, you know, we trust it. We don't think it's going to be a distraction until my son just, he was a, you know, babies aren't going to cooperate, but I felt like.

My, my now three and a half year old, something was different. I'm like, I can't put this child down for two seconds. I can't like. He screamed, he, he cried, like, [00:17:00] you know, and this is, you know, when he was a couple months old, like, I felt like I never had a break from him. So then I had to transition to being at home because at that point I made the decision of like, you know, this is becoming more of a disruption.

To the operations of this business. And it's not fair to the other workers and the employees and all of our contractors to have to deal with this. So I transitioned to home, which was totally fine. I kind of, you know, switched hats with someone else in the company and took on the role of being that more social media and kind of managing from afar, if you will.

 I'm always still getting phone calls of like, what do I do in this situation? You know? But I took that approach. So I could give my son more, more, it just seemed like he needed more. And then come to find out my, my child has a. Sensory processing disorder. And when we were getting him evaluated you know, the lady that had come to our house was like, [00:18:00] I cannot believe this.

He is probably one of the top five in my 25 years of doing this job. Top five Children that has extreme needs of sensory input. Like he's, he's what you would call a sensory seeking child. You know, they need that input. They need that, you know, all the, all this, all these terms that I was like, wait, what?

Like, what, what, you know, like going over more than just five senses. Like I was, I was blown away. Like, oh my gosh, this makes sense. It's not me as a mom. Because I think in those moments, like I remember just sitting there crying. Like I can't. Eat. I can't go to the bathroom. I can't like when he was a baby, I would nurse him and my husband would go to work and I would still be in the same chair in the same position when my husband came home from work eight hours later.

Like I haven't been able to [00:19:00] move from this spot. My legs are asleep. I don't know what I'm doing wrong. Like every time I move, he'd scream and it was just mind blowing. Like,

Krissy: And

Shay: At that point.

Krissy: was your first baby, so you knew this wasn't typical.

Shay: Absolutely. And, and, you know, my, my first, she was, she was colicky. She was a very colicky baby. She would scream and like, we pass her around, you know, at that point I had a very, very large extended family and we'd sometimes go to a gathering, you know, where there would be like 20, 30 people and she would cry and everybody be, I got it, I got it, I have a trick, I have a trick, you know, and it was you know, as a young mom, you know, I was really young, I was 23, it was like, you know, like, oh my gosh, all these people love my child.

They're, doing their best and you know, it's just at that point. I knew it wasn't me. Like it was like it's Just what babies do and they were so encouraging. Flash forward to this point with my son. I'm like, what is going on? What is wrong? Like, oh my gosh, why can I like ten years later not get this?

Like what, [00:20:00] what am I doing wrong? Is it a boy thing? Is it a girl thing? Like, you know, you hear about gender differences, but you know, after a couple of months, so yeah, we've we've had a lot of, a lot of trials and tribulations and, and trying to figure things out and see what works and what doesn't work.

And, oh my gosh, Krissy, it's, it's just been,

Krissy: Yeah.

Shay: it's been. An adventure.

Krissy: Yeah, it really has. It sounds like it has been. And how validating that must have been to hear from somebody, a professional, that their evaluation was that this is atypical. Like, you knew from your own experience that this is atypical. But to hear from somebody else, you must have been like, I knew it.

Thank you. I,

Shay: Yes,

Krissy: I feel

Shay: exactly. I was like, it's not me, I'm not a bad mom, like, oh my gosh, like, it's just my baby. So, so hearing that, we, we kind of knew 

We know, like our instincts, our guts, like that's what we were built to do. There's still something more we're, we're fighting to find the answers for, but he was, didn't like people. Like he [00:21:00] would meet somebody and just decide right then and there like, I'm not, I'm not talking to them.

I'm not going to interact with them. So having people come to our home, for his OT, it, it just didn't happen and it would cause so many behavioral problems outside that we were just like, okay, we need to hold off. We need to stop. We need to stop. So, we've kind of had like this alternative route of, of SPD that.

Hasn't been typical, but now that as he's as he's getting older, we're finding it easier. I mean, we still don't know why We keep him busy. He's an extracurriculars. He loves swim. Same thing. He'd go to swim and he would just decide he didn't like one of the teachers. And, and it wasn't just me that would notice this.

It was the other teachers, you know? So we figured out real quick, like, we're not going to push him to do something that he doesn't want to do because it doesn't end well, because it just [00:22:00] escalates things further down the line.

Krissy: One of the hardest things that I think, that I've learned, or I'm learning as a mom, is I have this vision of who I want to be. And I, I, people say that a lot and they say, but you don't have to be your vision. Well, I know that I could be that vision and I would be so good at it. Like, but that's not the mom that my kid needs. And

 

Shay: Exactly. Yes. It's like, it's that part of you where it's sacrificial. 

Krissy: feel right to me or doesn't like doing things that I don't necessarily have innate in me. I'm a very social person. I like going out. I would be at Every mom group, every story time at every library in like a 20 minute radius. And that's just not my kid. He does not want to be going to group situations and sitting there and doing those. So trying to figure out who he is and what he will thrive in. that is a challenge. So, good for you for being so in tuned to your kid's needs and leaning into that. Cause I, I think that's [00:23:00] one of the hardest parts of being a mom. Hmm.

Shay: You know being a mom is a tough job. And I don't think even us as moms appreciate that on a day to day basis. It's one of the most unselfish jobs. Like you said, you would be at every mom group. Me too. Absolutely. I would be everywhere. Like I am same. That's what we could talk for hours. If you would allow me in this podcast, I mean, we could talk about everything, but that's not always the way.

And, and to give up that part of ourselves, that is what makes motherhood, I think, really lonely. And, sometimes you have mom friends and You built, start building this village. We did this actually where, where we had a mom friend, we would meet at the park every single day.

And it was amazing, except our kids didn't get along. And that has been one of the most heartbreaking because it's like, as a mom, you're like, yes, yes, this is [00:24:00] making me happy. This is my outlet. And then you see your kids not getting along with their kids. When they did. And that's why you even started in, in it's this happened with a mom and I, and it was, it's just so heartbreaking.

I even think fondly back of like, Oh man, like every now and then I'm like, should I call her? Like, should we try again? Or should we just pump the brakes? You know? So yeah, I mean, kudos to you too. It's, it's, it's hard, especially with two boys, three and under my gosh.

Krissy: Oh boy. Yeah, we are not okay. We are, we are surviving, not necessarily thriving, but I do think on the flip side though, that, you know, we, it is lonely and we do lose those pieces, but we somehow find these other parts of ourselves. Like we dig so far down, we find these other things that bring us joy in other ways.

And I think that's so, so important. It sounds true for you with your your small business, right? You, you started a business that sensory seeking kids, I mean, you, you, you [00:25:00] just use that term to describe part of your life. So tell me how that came about. Oh

Oh

Shay: My son, we have, we had another baby. And I'm just home all the time, you know, and I'm a very, like I said, social, creative person. Like I need, I need an outlet of sorts. So back when I was preschool teacher Sensory, the sensory center center for me was a big deal in my classroom.

It was like I took up a huge portion and I always have like little sensory bottles, sensory mixes, I would go outside and, you know, do a little walk around the perimeter of our preschool and, grab pine cones and acorns and, you know, naturey things. And we would do all sorts of fun stuff.

So I wanted to incorporate that with my son. Little did I know that that experience back then, you know, sensory wasn't as a big topic as it is today. And I don't want to call it a hot topic because that would insinuate that it's somewhat of a [00:26:00] fad. It's not. I think we're really, as a society, realizing how much we've come to Away from nature and those experiences, because everything has become so sterile to us, like, you know, just the way we live our lives.

So we're not outside barefoot running around in the summer breeze anymore. And so with my son to find, to learn that he needed input, you know, and it was like touch and movement. And, you know, I was like, Oh my goodness. Like. Why am I not doing sensory bends with him? Like, oh my gosh. I mean, we used to do this all the time.

So, so I started making sensory bins and, and I mean, if you could hear my son, like, talk, he would be like, Mommy, you're gonna make me a sensory bin tonight when I go to sleep? Like, that's like, that is his phrase. Are you gonna do a sensory bin? So with that, I started making him these bins and trying to teach him and he's just kind of You know, he's on the beat of his own drum, you know, [00:27:00] walks his own path.

But I would notice like his attention span would like, instead of being like all over the place, climbing and scaling the curtains and the bookshelves, he would sit there and actually play in it. And sometimes it would just be the movements, like his hands and the rice and pasta, you know, and then just dumping.

And it really came about last, last fall, this time last year, when we started getting the Halloween stuff and I made him a sensory bin with the small parts. It was the first time introducing small parts with him and he, we, he still to this day calls it his skeleton soup because it had little skeletons and he every day made soup with little cauldrons.

 So we still have the skeleton soup bin under our bed and we bring it out from time to time. It's lasted almost a year now. And Being home with them. I was like, you know what? I'm gonna put it together a page about this there has to be other moms going through this and feeling so alone [00:28:00] and You know, I started the page and I'm like, you know, I'm gonna help educate moms, right?

Shay: But then I realized it just started morphing rapidly and I'm like, what if what if other moms Need help and ideas on how to incorporate sensory. And, you know, Krissy, I know you've made your own sensory bins. It's a messy job. It's I mean, not every mom has the space and the time and to let things air out and make stuff.

So I was like, you know what? I'm going to make bins for moms like that. And then like coming into the space, I'm like, Oh, my gosh. Resin's huge. I know how to do that. I did that for one of my jobs, like it wasn't a job, you know, but it was like one of those. Side tasks I would have to do. Oh, I know how to do that.

So then I started creating the resin pieces and my son was just in love, you know, at this point. I had boughten so many resin pieces from other creators because, I mean, you get into this whole niche and community on Instagram and you are mind blowing at [00:29:00] the creativity, I mean, I have a couple of people that I've bought from and I'm like, they're still releasing.

I'm like, hey, wait, I'm releasing my Halloween, but wait, I want to buy your Halloween too, because that is phenomenal. So, yeah, it just, it really just morphed into it's own thing and it's It's still, I feel like it's still evolving. I don't, I don't know where it's going to lead or where it's going to go, but it's, it's been an amazing thing that I can do alongside with being home with my kids and also get their, you know, his input, you know, my three year old is very opinionated on things and to get their input and it's just turned into this really fun little thing.

That's like kind of blowing up. So.

Krissy: That's so cool. And do your girls love it too?

Shay: Oh my gosh. So it's funny, like the sensory bins with them. Oh yeah, they're in it. I have so many pictures where they're in there [00:30:00] like mixing up soups and stuff because sometimes I'll, you know, I don't do all these elaborate, real life, real life, we don't do all of these elaborate flat lays or, or sensory play setups all the time.

You know, we do them, but just, like I give him, like, I just dump a Ziploc bag of a colored rice and I'll throw in some sticks from Hobby Lobby and some pine cones from across the street, neighbor's house and watch them create. And then I see my olders come down to go play with them. And it's like, they're in it too.

 It's, it's, it's amazing. Like it's, it doesn't stop. And then with the girls they, when they go in and they see me creating, cause I try to create at night, you know, with the resin, we've got a mask up and everything. And my girls will come in and it'll be like, Oh, I want this.

Can I have this? And like, they're like sneaking off the little resin pumpkins and spoons and making requests of ABCs. So yeah, it's just, it's It's actually becoming like this whole family thing where we're, we're all like at the, you know, at the end of the night, it's like, you know, everybody's in there checking in on, and my husband's [00:31:00] sanding and it's, it's, it's, it's something.

Krissy: That's so cute. I really love that vision, that picture of like these older girls playing with these little boys. Cause I know when I was a teenage girl, I would have absolutely loved that having the little boys to play with because you still want to be a little girl, even,

Shay: of course.

Krissy: even when you're not and you don't want, you don't want to admit it cause you're too cool, but that's a perfect way to do that.

So let's, let's talk about. Your girls and your whole family for a second, right? We've got, you've got this big age gap. You've got these two generations and then in your first generation, you've got this mixture. Now, how old were your girls when you first combined your, your families?

Shay: So they were two and four at this point. So they were, Yeah, my stepdaughter was really young. I mean, I was changing her diapers, getting her dressed, you know playing step mommy pretty quick. And, and mine was four, so they were like little BFFs. Like, I have pictures everywhere. The first time that they met, we have this picture up on our, [00:32:00] our shelf actually, and we took them to fly a kite and they were holding hands.

So they were like little best friends. Into princesses. It was frozen at the time.

Krissy: my gosh. Yeah.

Shay: So we watched it on repeat. And yeah, it was It was just this crazy little life of kids coming and going because we have them, you know, 50 50 custody. So, of course, they're with their other parents and while they're not on the same schedule, their days do mostly align up.

So it's like, we have one, a child Wednesday through Saturday you know, Wednesday after school to Saturday night. And then the other child we have Wednesday, Thursday and then every other Friday, Saturday, Sunday. So at least two Saturdays a month, we're all together as a family trying to Run around and, you know, make up for lost time of the week with where we're not together.

Krissy: That's cute. How old were they when you had your oldest older son 

Shay: okay. So if he's three and a half now and she's 15, so she was 12, they were 12 and 10. Yeah, 12. [00:33:00] That's crazy. 12 and 10. And again, it was, it wasn't that it wasn't planned, but it wasn't expected either. I think we just kind of gave up and the universe had its own way with us. And

Krissy: And

Shay: yeah, so they were thrilled.

Krissy: Were they

Shay: Oh my. Oh my gosh, they were so, you know, after losing the, our first son, they were just incredibly heartbroken. So to find out that we're having another, they were over the moon, like, Oh, I'm going to hold them first. I'm going to hold, you know, and we tried to involve them again. This is through COVID. So it was really hard during COVID because they couldn't go to any of the doctor's appointments.

They weren't allowed. My husband was barely allowed to attend the appointments with me. So the way that they found out God bless them. This little place in town, a little sonography place, they allowed us to come after hours and they snuck our girls in the back room.

Krissy: Oh my

Shay: And so when we went, we're going to find out I've like the chills, but it's still just [00:34:00] even reliving this moment. So they waited, you know, we were the last appointment of the day and you know, they knew our story. We had gone a couple times at that point because my husband and I had high anxiety after losing a baby.

So we would like, we bought this package and we would go every couple weeks just to make sure the baby's heart was beating and the baby was, you know, we knew what to look out for. And so we, you know, We got to know the people there really well. And so they snuck us in and that's where we did our gender reveal.

And, you know, they did the little, you know, all right, in three, two, one. And the lights turned on, you know, blue or pink, and it turned on blue. And, you know, one's crying because, Oh my gosh, we're having a baby brother. The other one's crying because I wanted a baby sister. So it was, you know, that thinking back, it's like making me emotional, like just.

reflecting on the magic of that time when we didn't even think we were going to have a baby. Like, you know, we didn't think that that was even an [00:35:00] opportunity for us. So, oh my God, I'm getting really emotional about this.

Krissy: gift you've got there. That's, that's a memory that so many people could not have and how lucky you were to have that. Oh my gosh.

Shay: We're so blessed. So of course we had to do that again. You know, we, you know, we, and we talked it over with the girls like, okay, like we have one, like, and you know, they were like, he cries a lot. We're like, that's what babies do. You know, my husband and I are like, this baby really does cry a lot. But you know, so we're like, you know, Hey, we involved them.

Like, Hey, do you want, do you want to have another brother or sister? you guys have each other, he's going to need a companion. What do you think? And they were all for it. Even back when we, we, back in the day with our first son, we sat down with them.

We had like this little family meeting. We're like, okay, but this is what this means. This, you know, you guys are going to have to share a room. Like, is that okay? Like we went over everything as best as we could at the [00:36:00] time. So you know, it's best word. We have. Another baby, and again, one's crying for joy because it's a brother, and the other one's crying because it's not a

Krissy: I

Shay: sister, so.

Krissy: sister.

Shay: You know what, to this day, I'm gonna call her out, the youngest. The youngest of the two girls. She still, to this day, is like, can you please just have me a little sister? I want a baby sister. And I'm like, Girl, I'm done. I'm tired. Mama is tired. And my oldest is like, oh my god, mom, if you have one more, like, she's over it.

So,

Krissy: bet. Yeah, it loses its charm after a little while, huh? No matter

Shay: right.

Krissy: love

Shay: The funniest part is like, the oldest one is right there when the boys are making mud pies in the backyard. She's, she's the one who started it. So yeah, it's, it's, it's, it's funny. It's, it's, this is a crazy life. I wouldn't, I, you know what I, you know, when I reflect on, you know, thinking I was going to be some hotshot [00:37:00] doctor, you know, and, and then to see now where my life is, I'm like, you know, like I could have never, never imagined this.

Like I couldn't, I never even thought of these things, but it's everything I needed. And it's in deep down, you know, as I navigate the, the trials and tribulations of motherhood, and I feel so alone at times. And then I feel that, that uncomfortable growth that, that I experience that nobody talks about, nobody talks about those changes.

And I'm like, you know, I wouldn't trade this for the world. I wouldn't. I wouldn't, if I could do it all over again, I'd do it the same way. You know, I mean, of course, hindsight's 20, 20, but I, I would, yeah, this is everything my heart needed, especially with the background growing up that I had. I, I couldn't have pictured a more perfect life.

Krissy: Yeah. I used to have a sign above my bed, [00:38:00] this actually was my wedding vows, that said sometimes the dreams that come true are the dreams you never knew you had.

Shay: Oh my gosh.

Krissy: I, it was just the perfect thing. And that's been a hundred percent of my life too. Like I never had this dream and it somehow is my dream, even though I never had it.

Like,

Shay: You like wake up and you're like, yeah, this, you know what? This is nice, actually. Maybe, I mean, not the toddler running around naked.

Krissy: there. Yeah. There's moments that you'll live without, but it would still, the whole picture is great. So that's still beautiful.

Shay: of the dream.

Krissy: So we heard a lot about your girls and your older son. Tell me a little bit about your younger one. What, what was that like adding another boy to this mix?

Shay: Oh my goodness. So of all our Children he's probably the most neurotypical of our kids. believe it or not the youngest. He He's a character. So I had a two and a four year old girls. Right. And I was like, you know what? I got this. This is, this is fine. Right. And then [00:39:00] having the boys, I'm like, Oh my God, I do not have this.

What is going on? The, the difference, ladies and gentlemen, between girls and boys in the younger years is astounding. Astounding, like no one could have prepared me for the craziness. Like my youngest is a just a mini wrecking ball. And, and while he may be the most neurotypical of the four, the most easygoing of the four, he is mimicking everything the older three do.

Like down to the attitude like

Krissy: Yeah.

Shay: it's just nuts. And so yeah, like if, if, if there are anybody out there that are thinking about blended families and. It's, it's, it's so worth it, but it is hard because we have, right now we are living in the hardest stage for boys. I guess they say until about, until they're about six, six to eight is where the crazy, the crazy years, because they have so much, you know, testosterone pumping through their body.

I think that of a [00:40:00] teenager, but in these teensy little small bodies. So that's why they're crazy. And then you for on the opposite end, my girls. Have so many hormones raging through their bodies and it is like sometimes I'm like, please like I just need a break

Krissy: You are going through it on both ends of the spectrum here right now.

Shay: getting it over with now Krissy. It's just it's it's you know, we'll just get it over with now and it'll be smooth sailing, right?

Krissy: Yeah. In just a couple of

Shay: Please tell me that. I'm

Krissy: it's going to, you're going to be like, what was, what was my stress coming from? I don't even remember. You'll have blocked it

Shay: being a stay at home mom now.

Krissy: Meanwhile, let's send this woman a coffee, everybody. She needs something.

Shay: We don't sleep.

Krissy: Right. Oh my gosh.

Shay: I know you don't sleep either.

Krissy: I know we do our best, right?

Embrace the chaos and figure it out. And how did the boys do with the girls?

Shay: They're amazing, you know? It's really sweet to watch. The girls at their other houses are only children. Right. [00:41:00] And, and they both at the other household were the first grandchild, the first niece, the first great grandchild. So they the girls both experienced those firsts, you know and then they came together and, experience life with, a .

Pre made sister, if you will, like it wasn't an organic thing and then we have the boys and they are just in love like it just to see them grow up and to go from you know, one of my daughters has, you know, As a really big family and she's used to babies and the other one is it's she's the only one like on all, you know, all sides of the family.

So to see, especially for her, that growth and that mama nurturing that isn't always present, you know, when, when you're the only one, what do you need that for, you know? And they're just amazing. Like, you know, one of them's always reading. The other one's always making mud pies or, you know, it's, it's just chaos.

 Even at a young age, the one and a half [00:42:00] year old knows how to antagonize the girls. Like, he's a little terrifying

Krissy: I

Shay: sometimes.

Krissy: it.

Shay: And it's, you know, at the end of the day, it's beautiful that, you know, they can get them to sleep. And sometimes their sisters are, like, if we're having a rough day, Sometimes it's all they need is their sisters.

And, and, and those moments are honestly some of the most beautiful that you really take for granted. Like sometimes it just takes sister coming home and, you know, when they, they know when they're coming home, they can hear my little, little phone. I'll get like this little ding from our location. And they know, they stop what they're doing, they run and they go run up and half the time they're naked because they're boys.

So you see two little streaking toddlers across the lawn running to their sisters. It's, it's Krissy, it's just, it's really magical. It's, it's amazing. They're, they're just the most amazing sisters to their brothers.

Krissy: it sounds like they must really miss them when they're not with you.

Shay: Yes. Yes. [00:43:00] I mean, and that, and that's one of the hard parts too, I guess, of a blended family that no one talks about or you, you don't have a way of knowing or seeing is, is that they are going to miss them. Like it took a good while when they, when the boys were little, cause one of their favorite things to do is go wake up sissies, you know, and they, my girls have loft beds, so they like to climb up and get in bed and throw their stuff, animals and pillows down.

And. It took a while, like where the one year old now is just finally, he knows they're not going to be here, you know, but it's, you know, heartbreaking when they're like, sissy, sissy, you know, and then calling them their pet names, you know, through the door and it's like, sorry, they're not here, but you know what, let's go, let's go call them, you know,

Krissy: Yeah.

Shay: But yeah, that's just, it's kind of one of the breaks of having blended families that I guess we just miss and we don't talk about,

Krissy: Yeah. And thank you for talking about it. Yeah. That's

Shay: of course,

Krissy: I mean, it's interesting from somebody who's not a part of it, but I can see [00:44:00] that I can, I can feel it. I, I mean, I feel like my kids miss everybody when they leave. So

Shay: right.

Krissy: somebody that's a sibling and they have such a close bond with, so that must be tough for you, but what an incredible reunion that must be.

I'm sure it's a lot of chaos when it

Shay: Oh.

Krissy: and reunites

Shay: it's super chaotic. This life, I, you know it is so chaotic. Like, it's always switching. You know, our, our week on Wednesdays, every Wednesday, our life flips upside down. I don't want to say flips upside down in a, in a bad way, not a bad connotation at all. But, just, you know.

Our routine completely changes because we have different routines when the girls are here versus when they're not here. And you know, even, even the way, you know, my husband goes to work, you know, he goes to work at different times when they're here versus when they're here because of transportation and getting them to and from school.

So yeah, yeah, it's, it's chaos, but yeah, it's, it's beautiful life.

Krissy: and I think everybody can relate to what you mean with flips upside down and not in a bad way, because I think anything that's a little bit different, you get into a groove, you get into some sort [00:45:00] of routine, and then like, I don't know, you go to the grocery store, right? At a different time than you usually do, and that flips everything upside down, and you have to try to figure out your new routine when you get home from that.

So, like, anything you do with these toddlers and these kids can, can, yeah. the apple cart, if you will. And just, you know, it's a great thing and it's good, but it's still a change.

Shay: It's real life. It's life. Yeah. We're creatures of habit.

And yeah , like you said, going to the grocery store, 10 minutes closer to nap time. will throw off nap time. So, yeah,

Krissy: that's a whole other story. So let's talk about your favorite activities to do with kids. So we've already talked about your sensory bins a little bit, and I love how you talked about how they could be super simple, like just throwing in rice and some pine cones and the kids are going to have fun with that.

But what else do you have up your sleeve for when these kids are just needing something else?

Shay: so we do a game. It's a I spy [00:46:00] game, if you will. And it's super simple. You don't need anything, right? This is a big attention getter trick I used to use as being a preschool teacher and be like, Oh my gosh. And of course, The minute you say, Oh my gosh, they're like, I think I just saw a bird.

I spy a bird. Do you see a bird? So this is one trick that I do with my kids when they're just dysregulated and we need a moment to ground and connect. It's a, Oh my gosh, did you see that? I spy this. And then from there, like, even if they're crying, like they could be a full on meltdown mode,

and something like that just snaps them out of it. I don't know what it is, but they're, kids are so nosy. So if you can tap into that nosiness. Not every kid, but my children are especially nosy. Like, oh my gosh, did you see the neighbor? They're bringing in their groceries. What did they buy? You know, and then it turns into this, this, [00:47:00] this language storytelling.

And, you know, we. We find that we learn the most in those moments about colors and shapes and people. And, and we start talking and, and, you know, like, Oh, look at their hair that, you know, my, one of my neighbors, bless him, walked out and he's like, I don't think he brushed his hair today, mom. If you're going to work like that, like, I don't know, maybe he's on vacation.

Like maybe that's his new haircut. Like.

Krissy: Oh

Shay: So the I spies, the sensory bends to, you know always having a, a bin, just a bin, push it under your bed where they can't get it, you know, have them ready to go. Like you said, the pine cones, spoons, bowls, what you have in the kitchen, just pots and pans , I recommend coloring the rice so that way they can differentiate, you know, eating rice as to playing rice.

Krissy: Yeah. Good suggestion.

Shay: Because, you know, And it's a mistake that I made with my son where we eat a lot of rice, [00:48:00] so my son thought that he could just go and get the, The rice and I'm like, honey, this is not, this is eating rice.

And he's like, Oh, well, well, this is that other one. My sensory bin that's playing rice. So differentiating that with children is probably key too. And yeah, just make it simple. Just get stuff around, shop your house. I suggest, I highly suggest shop your house. You have things in your junk drawer that you don't even know that'll keep them entertained for an hour, you know?

And sometimes all you got to do is just take a handful, put it in a bowl, you know, and as long as there's nothing sharp or, or, you know, they're at the age where they can choke on anything and nothing that's a permanent marker for them to decorate your home, you know, it's, it's good to go. They're, they'll, they'll explore.

So just keep it simple.

Krissy: They don't need fancy presentation. I have a, I have old cake toppers that I keep upstairs and downstairs and all the toys that I don't know where they go. They're just like random orphan [00:49:00] toys. I'll throw them into this container. And then when every now and then I'll get like my little guy's spoon and he just like plays with them and makes a. character soup of all these small

Shay: Yeah, for

Krissy: it doesn't have to be anything extra and special. And I love the I spy game it's so cool because the, Oh my gosh, like can just snap anybody out of a cycle when you're cycling through emotions, that can

Shay: sure.

Krissy: trigger to get you out. I mean, it's heavy in language. And then the science, the observational skills. I do something really

Shay: Yes.

Krissy: with my kids. And now my three and a half year old saying, Oh, I've got a good idea. It's just

Shay: Eureka!

Krissy: coolest thing, right? I just love it. So these conversations are modeling a lot of lifelong learning from you.

Shay: Yes,

Krissy: really great. So

Shay: sure.

Krissy: got one last piece here of giving some advice. So this is a question from Reddit. And,

Shay: Ha.

Krissy: both of us are going to give some very real not sugar coated advice to this. We don't [00:50:00] have a happy ending for this poster, but Hey, we're going to do our best. So the poster says, my son used to wake up at six and now for the past week, he's waking up at four.

And the tag they put on this is for toddlers ages one through three. So I don't know how old this kid is, but it says, would you suggest we keep him in the crib and let him cry and hopes that he falls back asleep and learns not to wake up that early or. Just suck it up and wake up at four with him.

Shay: So, I went through this with my, my oldest son. You know what? Lean into it. You, you know, you're going to be tired. That's why we have coffee machines in the next room. Lean into that because it's not forever.

My son is probably the worst sleeper that I've ever known for a child. And here we are at three and a half and we're just barely now starting to sleep through the night. Not consistently. Last night I had to wake up and get him shaky water. It's motherhood is exhausting. There's nothing we can do about that. But it's [00:51:00] also temporary. My son would wake up at three in the morning and he was wide awake, not going back to sleep. So lean into it. It's not forever and it's just a season and the moment you think you have it down, they're going to switch it up.

So yeah. I mean, what would you say to that?

Krissy: So with my oldest one, we started very early on to do some modified sleep training because that's what we thought you had to do. And

Shay: That's what we're told to do. Yeah,

Krissy: very quickly into this, we realized that any amount of crying just riled him up. There was no, he would stop crying after five minutes.

Like he would stop crying when he threw up or something. And we never let him get there, but that's where I felt like the road that we were on was going to. And we were like, this

Shay: yeah, for sure.

Krissy: for us.

So we stopped that real fast and we quickly moved from, he was in a pack and play, we never had a crib, but we moved to a floor bed. And then with my second one, we had a floor bed from the get go. He was never in a crib.

He was always in a floor bed. And I would just, kind of gauge, like if [00:52:00] they're still sleepy, I can go back in and lay with them on this floor bed. And that's if you learn safe co sleeping, no matter what the age is, that's a huge game changer,

Shay: Yes.

Krissy: laying with them and maybe you'll both get a little more sleep.

And then with my first one, if that didn't work, I would put him in the baby carrier, play some Taylor Swift and do laps around my kitchen Island. And then eventually he might fall asleep and then I'd lay down with him and. Now that my kids are older and it's safe to do things like nap with them on a couch. When my younger one wakes up, go out in the living room and we'll sleep on the couch together. And that we have like a really big chase lounge couch. It's like gigantic

Shay: yeah, yeah, yes.

Krissy: Even for me, having a change when I can't sleep in atmosphere changes it for me. And sometimes we get a little more sleep then, but yeah, there's days where I'm just up at four and like, this is what we're doing.

We're hanging out. And some days I'd be like, you know, maybe I should go for a run. Like, I'm not doing anything right now. Maybe we should go do that. And yeah, just leaning into it because you could drive [00:53:00] yourself crazy trying to, like, I remember the maps. Did you do this where you would like have schedules? We're like,

Shay: Yes.

Krissy: slept at this time and I need him to stay up till here. So

Shay: was an app on your phone, too.

Krissy: there was the apps on the phone, but then I also like, I felt like that it's always sunny in Philadelphia meme where he has like the pictures on

Shay: Yeah, in the little case, yeah.

Krissy: was me and my sister. We were like, okay, how can we figure out, when does he have to

Shay: What are his sleep cues? There's none, there's no sleep cues. Yes.

Krissy: I was losing it. So once I just learned to embrace it and like, hopefully I can get him back to sleep, I'll put in my earbuds, listen to a podcast and, and we figured it out.

Shay: It's tough. It's so hard because in those moments, you know, that person wrote it. It was probably three in the morning. You know, they were writing like, Oh, my kid won't sleep. You we've all been there. How many Google [00:54:00] searches did we do? Like In those wee hours, like, why is my kid not going to sleep? Like, we all did it.

It's, you know what, yeah, just embrace it. It's not forever. You know, we, we decided to do back to back kids. You know, we figured just get them, get them through it and over and, you know, Out of diapers, you know, and I have not slept Krissy in four years since my pregnancy, I, you know, I'm tired.

Like, do you see these bags? Like,

Krissy: know.

Shay: you Estee Lauder, but I, yeah, it's, I think I'll sleep probably in another two years if I'm lucky and that's okay. I mean, it's one of those, again, being a mom. Is one of the most unselfish and sacrificial jobs you'll ever have. And I think, you know what, when they're older, we won't regret that. And I think, I think moms just need to do instinctually what's best for them and kind of tune out all the noise. 

Krissy: I think that's a really important piece that if you sleep [00:55:00] trained your kid and that was the right choice for you for whatever reason

Shay: yeah,

Krissy: you did it and it worked well with your kid, if there was something wrong with it, you would have known

Shay: for sure. For sure.

Krissy: if this wasn't a good match for you, your kid and your family, then you wouldn't have done it and you would have

Shay: Exactly.

Krissy: But if you continued to do it, then that meant it was a fine match. Like it works for a lot

Shay: And no judgment because some kids, some kids, I mean, I have a girlfriend whose son's been sleeping through the night since he was two months old.

Krissy: Yeah.

Shay: I don't know what she did in life to get that, but you know, maybe in the next life for us, but you know, to each their own. I don't judge any mom. I know we're just all doing the best we can and the best we know how, and what's best for me is not best for you and what's best for you isn't best for me. So Yeah, let's go for five minutes

Krissy: them like, this is what's happening. And they were like, yeah, that's not what my kid did. This, our experiences are not the same.

Shay: like my kids marathon crier. What do you mean? [00:56:00] Five minutes? My kids been crying for four hours straight a day since he was two weeks old. What?

Krissy: Yep. One of the messages here, I think is, You aren't going to screw it up. You're not going to make the wrong choice. You, you're going to follow your instincts and do it where it's working and your kid's going to be great. And if what's working for you is waking up at 4am with them and suffering through, you are not alone because I think that's the hardest thing.

It's, it's feeling like you're screwing them up is feeling like you're doing something wrong and you're the only mom on earth that this is happening to. And it's, that's not the case. There's

Shay: No,

Krissy: good moms that are in your, in your position, and we're all going to end up with these teenagers that we have to drag out of bed.

Shay: Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because one day you're going to be like, why are they sleeping so much? I mean, I have that now. I have

Krissy: Yeah.

Shay: two that don't sleep and I have two that all they want to do is sleep. And like, can you just give a little bit of you to them and them to you, please? 

Krissy: Shay, this [00:57:00] has been a great show. A joy. I've really enjoyed this time that we've spent shay, do you have any last gems you want to share with us?

Shay: oh my goodness. You know what? Just find the joy in motherhood. I mean, motherhood is so hard as it is and, you know, we can sit here and beat ourselves up. Did I hug them enough? Did I tell them I love them enough? Do we talk about color shapes and ABC's enough? You know? No. Just You know, at the end of the day, those things don't matter.

What matters is are those moments of Of joy. And, and you got to look for that sometimes because sometimes like, you know, last week we, we had a week of hell with our, with our toddlers. We, you know, went back and forth on it and I'm like, yeah, you know, it was rough, but my son was learning to be assertive.

My son was learning to speak his emotions. And, you know, at one and a half, it doesn't come out as eloquently as you or I could talk about it. But no, my, my [00:58:00] son is thriving. My son is going through all of the stages he's supposed to. And that's a, it's a beautiful thing. And, you know, I could sit there and be like, Oh my gosh, he was a tyrant, right?

Or I could be like, you know what? He's developing perfectly fine. He's being a child. It's not personal, you know, so just finding the joy, taking things lightly. I think we're too hard on ourselves as mothers, and I think we just kind of need to take a step back, take a breath, and realize that, you know what, it's a beautiful life that we have kids, and that we're, we're in this journey.

Krissy: Well, that is fantastic advice that I think we all need

Shay: Thank you.

Krissy: when we're trying to figure out what's going on in their heads, because it's a lot. It's a lot.

Shay: It's tough. It's tough.

Krissy: Where can we find you and engage with you?

Shay: Oh well I am on Instagram sensory seeking kids. We have Facebook as well. I am always open, so hey, if you just wanna come by and say, Hey, hi. Or you want some advice, [00:59:00] or, you know, if you have a, a child with sensory processing disorder, or sensory seeker you can find me there. Please reach out, dm I, I love to chat and meet new people.

So yeah, please. Come visit. Bye.

Krissy: make you feel like you're her best friend from the get go. So definitely do that. If you'd like to share your story, please reach out to me. You can email me at bold, little minds at gmail. com or just shoot me a DM. You can find me on Instagram, Tik TOK, Pinterest, Facebook, YouTube, all of the things. Please take a moment to like the episode rates and review a review. It doesn't have to be anything long, just a quick, I liked it. And Make sure you subscribe on whatever platform you're listening on or multiple would be great. Thank you so much for listening. I look forward to sharing another story with you with another inspiring mom on our next episode. We'll see you next time.

 

Mom Identity Project https://momidentityproject.com
Previous

Adoption After Birth, Letting Kids Be Kids, and Lifelong Learning: Poppy’s Story
Next

Attachment Parenting, Play Based Learning, and Starting Again After Solo Parenting: Callie’s Story